It's been six years since I last saw her. Its harsh knowing that the years come will be without her. My best friend, my secret crush, my world, Echo... I wish to see you only once more.
* yes Echo as in Echo Fleetfoot. I want to ship her with my oc because we don't really know this character. Why not give her some background. First fic, critisim is wanted.
Rated Mature for blood, some graphic depictions, sexual situations, crude humor, language, and other stuff.
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This seems pretty awesome
Wauw, something original on fimfiction.
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Though 1 tip.
spaces.
Use spaces, this is just one giant brick wall of text, which makes it difficult to read.
First!
1054964 Wrong
some cover tips:
1. Drop some tags. Like, dark/tragedy doesn't really go together with slice of life. Drop slice of life and the tags should be fine.
2. Write a synopsis for the story, not an explanation (that's for author's notes in one of your soon-to-follow blog posts when everyone likes your fic!)
Actual story tips:
1. Format with spaces between paragraphs, etc.
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Pretty good story you got here
Great job!!!
Needs fixing, basic spelling and grammar problems, but I love this!
Do you,perhaps, want a editor?
N>>1057048
Have one. But i didn't send him the prologue since I'm going to fix it later. Its kinda hard to catch errors on an ipad ya know
Very good chapter, although I saw a lot of grammatical and spelling errors. Do you have a pre-reader by chance?
Very good chapter, nonetheless, very heartfelt, and almost exactly like a diary. Happy writing!
-FyreGhost
1062759
What I've decided to do is to first finish the story. then I'm going to go over it and fix what I can, that way I can brainstorm another fic while I'm editing this one.
1062881 Ah, that's a nice way of doing things. Hope you continue this awesome story!
Cheers,
-Fyre
Why so many grammatical mistakes?! I mean, the story itself is PURE AWESOME, but seriously, I could go for less spelling issues. Otherwise, perfect story, very heartwarming, and yet, heartbreaking. I love it. You are a perfect author for this story, but you just need to clean up the writing. That's it!
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I know that you'll go after the stories done and fix it, but it bugs me so. FFFFFFffffffuuuuuu!
1092328
Understandable. but all shall be fixed in good time. also take into consideration that I'm only fourteen and A.D.D. so its kinda hard even with my meds to really pay attention to my writing. Even in school I've got to look over my papers a million times to fix one mistake. I'm not making an excuse. I'm just saying, I don't pay attention to it much. oh and diddo about the grammer being bothering. If I look back at something I wrote and I see an error I'm like. Damnit why didn't I see you before.
1092361 Eh, even though I may not have A.D.D, I'm almost exactly like you, and if I see an error I didn't see the last million times I went over it, I get really frustrated. As for the comment I made, Yea, I re-read that, I made myself look like a douche. Damnit.
Apologies for that, friend! 
Well, I can't wait for more, this story is really, really getting to me, and I just can't wait for more. Its impossible when the story is like this! Its too good for its own good!
1092381
Awsome. I'll continue the fourth chapter later tonight. Oh and I made a mistake on my post, I'm fiften not fourteen.
1092391 Eh, I do that same mistake with what grade I'm in. It really messes me up, because someone'll ask me something, and they'll be all like, "UR NOT IN THAT GARDE HUR DUR U STUPE?" And it pisses me off, because its my own fault... Well, I'm hyped for the fourth chapter! Lets do this! I can wait all month long...
1092402
Woah a month. Dude For now writers block hasn't hit me. I've been wanting to write this for about a month now. Part of what I write is based of my imaginationfor this, but alot comes from song lyrics as I write I have a playlist that I use to inspire me to write what they say or do. So yep
you like rascal flatts too?? i was listening to that exact song at the begining of this chapter then i went onto "Here comes goodbye" and now im a sad pony
.....What. Grammatical problems aside, because I know exactly what your response is going to be.... it was an OK chapter. Not really up to par with the last few ones, but good enough to keep my interests. It seemed a bit dull and flat at the beginning and end, but picked up in the middle.
... Cool.
.... K.
...Alright.
1062881
Oh my fucking god this is good, write more and never stop, btw you should try writing clop for this.
1166077
Not sure for future sex scenes. Its a possibility, but it'll be more romantic if there is.
Hmmm, me will be reading fully and properly soon. i only skim read the first chapter, but from what i could see it was fairly interesting (minus a few errors)
Well sheee-it, boy! DIS JUST GOT NOCKED UP A NOTCH!
dammmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Ooh, a story about the Wonderbolts. So happy that I found another one of these gems. Very Rare find indeed.
Oh look, it's 1092402
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Deja vu
This is my favorite "Teen" rated story of all time, if it was "Mature( If you know what I mean)" I would be my favorite story of all time.
You are a ledgend, even if there are a few mistakes, I will never forget this story, and I wait for the next chapter eagerly.
1310711
That good huh? Thanks!
This story is rated teen because i wasn't yet sure if i was ready for mature writing. However What Makes It Stop story 2 (working title) is probably going to be a whole lot more graphic, and I mean graphic. I've got the story thought out, i just got to finish figuring out how to write it.
OMG I love this story, more people should read this I swear, though there are a few grammar problems, just copy paste onto a word doc and you'll see all errors easy
1409290 There's more than just... 'some'. There's a SHIT TON. I hate this guy for doing this to us, but I love this story to much to hate him.
1413190
Uhhh... Thanks?
1413840 Yes... Yeeesss... I'll be watching... Beware...
Or not!
Who knows?
YAY!
Description error. Its* should be it's*.
What a great story it has bin. And yet as the conclusion to one great story ends, it is only the begining of another. You sir have put a smile on my face when ever i read this story. I expecte great things from you in the future. Great things!
I just realized how little I know about Echo. I liked that story and want to see more. Beautiful.
FUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGGGG - Time for the edits! FUCK YEAAAAAAHHHHH!
Yeah, even though I'm sad to see this end, does this mean you're finally going to edit it? I mean, it's a good story and all, but the grammar... just... just...!
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Time to edit this fic's horrid grammar!
Other than that, I LOVED THIS FIC!
On the issue of the latest chapter, if you have anything as explicit as sex (as in an actual descriptive scene), you have to bump the story rating up to Mature, no excuses.
I like it, when the stallion is badass, but the mare can play with him as she wants to.
And i thought you stopped writing this... you made my day!
1942103
Oh its far from over (brohoof?)
1944555 All my yes! Of course, brohoof /)
The moment, when your drunken friend tries to flirt with. And you have to carry him all the way back home, while he tries to kiss your face. UGH! That's why I don't go out drinking with friends...
By the way, I love this!
PS.: Fucking a celebrity is awesome, try it out!