How It Began
A cool breeze floated by, rustling the leaves of the trees along the path. A young filly walked along it, the braid in her mane gently tossing back and forth behind her as she moved. The sun shone straight into her designer glasses, making it difficult to see where she was going.
She stopped and walked off of the path, taking shelter beneath one of the trees, feeling a need to get out of the sun for a moment. She was early anyways, so it wasn't like she was really in a hurry or anything. And it was such a nice day. She stretched out against the tree and sighed.
Diamond Tiara had had something else going on this morning and been unable to join her today. She'd promised to catch up with her at school, at least. Well, that was her loss.
Silver Spoon looked up into the shadowy branches of the tree. The thing was huge, and anything could be up there. She got a sudden, scampish desire to climb up the tree and explore it, but quickly damped it down.There was such a thing as appearances. What would Diamond think? That was more something one of those blank flanks would do.
She wouldn't want to have anything in common with one of them after all. The branches really did look like they could be hiding anything, though. In fact, it looked like there was a flash of silver on one of them, for a moment. What could that have been?
She stood, and tried to get a better look among the shadows, and she saw it. There was something furry up there, leaping between branches before she could get a good look, getting closer to the base of the tree.
Then there was a thump right in front of her, and she held her breath, startled. She looked down at the ground and breathed back out. Oh, thank goodness, she thought, it was only a cat.
She looked down closer. Oh my, it really was quite pretty. Silver fur the same shade as hers, looking at her intently with mesmerizing green eyes as it slowly advanced towards her. Perhaps she could smuggle it into school in her saddlebags, then bring it home and have a new pet. It's not like her parents would refuse her.
She really was having trouble looking away from those gorgeous emerald eyes. She seemed to be getting lightheaded. Perhaps it was the sun. She wiped the sweat off her brow. Yes, she just needed a bit of a lie down.
Without even realising it, she found herself lying on her back in the grass, glasses half fallen off, amidst the dandelions. She felt something land on her belly, then claws and whiskers brush against her. A feline head poked up in front of her eyes as she heard a loud rumbling. In a minute all she could see was those two eyes, expanding to fill her field of view.
So beautiful, she thought, and then blackness filled her, and she knew no more.
Apple Bloom stifled a yawn. Being in school was so boring, and it was so nice out. She squirmed around a little, practically counting the minutes until she could go home. Well, not home, really. But get out of school, anyways.
In this, she was hardly alone. All around Apple Bloom, other colts and fillies sat impatiently at their desks, trying to look just attentive enough to not have Cheerilee call on them. Not that Cheerilee really looked like she wanted to be there, either.
Silver Spoon leaned back in her desk, a smirk on her face. While she was usually a pain, today she seemed even worse than usual. You could tell she was plotting something by the constant whispers and notes going between her and Diamond Tiara. The two of them were always up to something.
It was funny, though. Usually Diamond was the one stirring up trouble, and Silver Spoon was along for the ride. As the two of them talked, she got the distinct impression Silver was the one up to no good this time.
Of course, Cheerilee didn't comment on the two of them not paying attention. She never did. Apple Bloom wasn't sure if this was because their parents had a lot of money, or just because she'd given up on both of them long ago. Maybe both.
Whatever they were talking about sure was weird. She was sure she heard something about "world conquest" and "giant spoons" in there. Maybe they were just as bored as she was. Or they could be plotting out a story or something, though she'd never heard of them being much in the way of writers.
At long last, the school bell rang. The students didn't even bother to ask Cheerilee before getting up and heading out. Cheerilee didn't seem to care much herself, really. Apple Bloom headed to the door, passing Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara on the way.
As she did, she got a bit of a surprise when Silver Spoon opened her saddlebags, and a silver cat hopped out. She hissed at Apple Bloom, and swiped one paw at her, causing Apple Bloom to have to dodge out of the way. Then Diamond, Silver, and the cat marched out, all with their heads up high and equally smug looks on their faces.
Remind me why do I have to put up with those two? Apple Bloom had never been much of a cat person anyways.
As if to emphasize that point, Winona yelped playfully at her as she left the classroom, passing a pink filly putting on her saddlebags.
"Winona!" she said, running up to the collie and rubbing her behind the ears as Winona wagged her tail. "Good girl! What do you want to do now?"
She knew well enough that Winona wouldn't have any chores she needed to do if she'd come out to meet her. Winona never shirked any job she was put to. She'd always been very intelligent and helpful. Much more so than Caramel, when he had helped out on the farm.
Winona just barked, pulled on one strap of her saddlebags, then ran off in one direction, looking back occasionally. It was pretty clear to Apple Bloom that Winona wanted her to follow her, though she wasn't sure whether it meant she was in a playful mood or had something she wanted to show her.
It was always best to follow her anyways, when she did that, though, so she followed Winona until they were alone on a secluded path by a nice big shady tree. Maybe Winona just wanted them to rest under the tree, or climb it, even. That could be fun.
Once they were by the tree, Winona stopped and looked up at her.
"Okay, we're here. What did you want to do, Winona?" she asked. She knew she wouldn't directly get a reply, but the questioning tone usually got through to her.
"I need your help, Apple Bloom! Equestria's in terrible danger!" Winona said.
Apple Bloom did the only sensible thing to do in the circumstances. She fainted.
Magical Filly Apple B
Is it your destiny?
Or just a mystery?
As you try to keep up in this crazy world,
What more can you do?
Say goodbye to loneliness,
Try to keep your happiness.
Just say the magic words, and you'll find
You're the only you!
If you have the heart,
Show them what you can do.
Desperately,
Surprising me,
There's always
APPLES! APPLES! APPLES! (Apples! Apples! Apples!)
(Voice-over by Apple Bloom) "What in tarnation's going on here?"
(Voice-over by Winona) "Have a little faith, Apple Bloom!"
It won't be a tragedy,
If you have empathy.
As you keep afloat in this lonely world,
Spreading love is what you do!
Apple Bloom woke up to Winona licking her face eagerly.
I must have fallen asleep, she thought. What a silly dream, imagining Winona could talk.
She picked herself up and patted Winona on the head reassuringly, though she was really the one that needed the reassurance.
"I had the silliest dream just now, Winona," she said.
"That was no dream, Apple Bloom. I really need your help," Winona said. "Oh, please don't faint again. I don't really want to have to keep waking you up."
Apple Bloom reeled, but this time managed to stay standing. "You talked! How could you possibly be talking? You're a dog!"
"Well, you're a pony, and you're talking, aren't you?"
"But-" Apple Bloom struggled to figure out what was wrong with that statement and failed. "If you can talk, that's amazing! We should go show Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle! Or Applejack!"
"I really need-"
"Or maybe my special talent is talking to dogs, like Fluttershy's is talking to animals!" She glanced back at her flank, which was, predictably, blank. "Awww..."
"Apple Bloom!" Winona snapped, mimicking Applejack's usual tone.
Apple Bloom snapped to attention automatically.
"Have you ever thought you were different from other fillies?"
Apple Bloom scratched her head. "Well, I don't have my cutie mark."
"Aside from your cutie mark." Winona was starting to look a bit annoyed. "Apple Bloom, you have been chosen to be a magical filly!"
"Magic?" Apple Bloom was even more puzzled, if that was possible. "How could I be a magical filly? I'm not a unicorn!"
"This is a different type of magic," she said, exasperated. "This is the magic of love."
"Doncha' mean the magic of friendship?" Twilight talked about that a bunch.
"Well, you love your friends, right?"
"We're not like that, Winona," Apple Bloom said, shocked at the idea. "You know that!"
Winona shook her head. "That's not what I mean. If Scootaloo or Sweetie Belle was in danger, you'd risk your life to help them, wouldn't you?"
"Yeah." Wasn't that pretty obvious?
"Well, that's love," Winona said, tail wagging. "It's just more like the love between you and Applejack, or Big Macintosh."
Apple Bloom looked at her dubiously. "I guess. What does all that have to do with you talking, though, Winona?"
Winona looked up at her. "Well, all magical fillies have to have a magical companion. It's in the bylaws."
"What?"
Winona sighed. "Never mind. But I'm your magical companion. All magical companions are cute and can talk."
They all have to be cute? "Does that mean all magical fillies need to be cute, too?"
"Of course they do, but you don't have to worry there."
"I'm not cute." She pouted, looking all the more cute for it.
"Of course you are. All named fillies are cute."
"Named fillies?" This was new. "What do you mean, named fillies? Doesn't everypony have a name?"
"Do they? How about that pink earth filly with the green mane I saw when we left the school?"
"Well… I don't remember. I don't really know her. But everypony has a name."
"Whatever." Winona changed the subject. "Anyways, when bad guys come around, you'll transform into a magical filly, and defeat them with the power of your love!"
"Like Princess Cadance defeated that bug thingy that was pretending to be her?"
Winona resigned herself to the fact that it was going to be a long day. "Something like that."
"So you took me out here so you can teach me to be a magical filly so I know how to defeat bad guys, then?" Apple Bloom said. That did sound like it could be fun.
"RISE, MY SPOON ARMY! MWAAHAHAHAHA!" A nearby voice called out.
"I think you sorta get to learn on the fly," Winona said, gulping. "Fetch!"
She pulled a short rod out of the air from nowhere and threw it to Apple Bloom, who caught it readily.
"Good girl!" Winona said approvingly.
"Right." That was about opposite how things usually went. "Um, what's this?"
"Ahem?" the voice boomed, sounding a little miffed. "This is my evil villain spot you're talking over here."
"On second thought, run!"
"What?"
Winona was already well ahead of her, and Apple Bloom struggled to catch up. Maniacal cackling followed them, but fairly soon it was replaced by maniacal wheezing and they managed to get away.
"You *huff* know, I think *huff* something was wrong *huff* with Silver Spoon."
"What makes you think that, Apple Bloom?"
"She was laughing evilly, wearing a black cape that was blowing in the wind, a grey cat was perched on her shoulder, and she was goin' on about raisin' an evil army?"
"Yep. Yep. That's an evil villain, alright."
"Silver Spoon's not usually like that, though."
"She's usually nice?"
"No, but she's not like that usually."
"Well, villains can have magical companions, too, and they aren't very ethical. It's entirely possible she doesn't really know what she's doing right now, or that her mind is all messed up by her companion."
Apple Bloom nodded, then found herself wondering about what she'd just been told.
"Are you doing anything to my mind?"
Winona sighed, something she seemed to be doing a lot of lately. "I'm a good magical companion. We don't do that. I wouldn't do anything to you that you haven't seen me do to one of the sheep or cattle."
"Are you calling me a sheep?"
"Isn't that a little speciesist of you, Apple Bloom? Some of the sheep are very nice. "
"Sorry."
"You heard her, though, she was raising an army. We're gonna need some help."
"So you think I should get Applejack and Big Mac?"
"Not that type of help. We need other magical fillies to help us."
"Other magical fillies?"
"You didn't think you were the only one, did you? You're not really supposed to tell anypony else that you're a magical filly, even if you're friends with them."
Well, that was a little depressing. How many other ponies had been made magical fillies? She'd been hoping she was special.
"Where do ya' reckon we'll find them, then?"
"Let's head to Sugarcube Corner. I haven't seen a magical filly yet that didn't like getting all hyped up on sugary treats."
Or she could just get herself a milkshake if she couldn't find them. Either way sounded good.
"Ok, lead on."
The two of them went to Sugarcube Corner at a fast trot. As she approached, she noticed the exact filly Winona had mentioned earlier. She walked over to her. Surely all fillies must have a name!
"Hello," she greeted the pink earth filly.
A puzzled look crossed the fillies face, and she pulled out some papers and started flipping through them. "I didn't think I had a speaking part…"
What was that all about?
She extended one foreleg. "Hi! I'm Apple Bloom! What's your name?"
Much to her surprise, the filly burst out crying. Pinkie Pie came out of the bakery.
"Apple Bloom! Don't go teasing the background ponies!"
Pinkie offered a handkerchief to the filly and patted her on the back.
"Don't worry about it. I'm sure you'll get your break one day." Pinkie wrapped a foreleg around the filly. "Do you want a cupcake? Freshly baked."
She nodded, and Pinkie led her into Sugarcube Corner, singing.
"All you gotta do-"
As they stood in the doorway, the filly stopped her. "You can't sing that here. It's copyrighted by Hasbro."
"Oh, right, thanks."
The door closed behind them. Apple Bloom looked around to see Winona glaring at her.
"What?"
"Look, just trust me when I tell you these things, alright? Things run a lot smoother when you do that, and there's less chance of getting ponies upset."
"I don' get why she was so upset, tho'. Couldn't she just pick a name? Oh, come on, let's go on in."
Apple Bloom opened the door to Sugarcube Corner and went inside, forcing Winona to follow.
Inside, Pinkie Pie was waiting for her, with no trace of the filly she'd walked in with. She looked at Apple Bloom disapprovingly.
"You're still mad at me? Look, I'm sorry, alright?"
A smile crossed Pinkie Pie's face. "Well, okay then? What can I get ya? Hot cross buns, medium satisfied buns, a milkshake, cupcakes, eclairs, scones, sarsaparilla, sauerkraut, sour cream, facial cream-"
Winona sat up on her hindquarters, wagging her tail, and spoke. "Enough of that, Pinkie, we need your help!"
"Getting you a milkshake is helping, isn't it? Unless you drink it too fast and get your tongue froze and drops of it get up your nose, that is."
Winona shook her head, ears flapping around.
"Can you at least tell me if there are any other magical fillies here?"
"Oh, sure!" Pinkie chirped. "Twist is sitting over at the table in the corner."
Twist was a magical filly?
Ignoring Winona and Pinkie, Apple Bloom trotted over, where Twist was indeed sitting alone, taking sips from a strawberry milkshake, her saddlebags lying loosely closed at the base of the table.
"Hi, Twist!" Apple Bloom said enthusiastically.
Twist looked up from her milkshake. "Oh. Hi, Apple Bloom."
Apple Bloom continued, enthusiasm unabated. "So, you're a magical filly?"
Twist gave her a deadpan gaze. "What do you mean?"
Maybe not. Just then, Winona caught up with her.
"Apple Bloom! You can't just go rushing around talking about magical fillies!"
Twist's gaze shifted down to Winona.
"They finally pushed through her approval?"
"Yep! Yep! Just this morning! Just in time, too, since we already got a villain to deal with."
"Another one?" Twist groaned. "Thorry, Apple Bloom. We're not thuppothed to act like we know about the whole magical thing normally."
"How long have you been a magical filly?" Apple Bloom asked. It seemed like yet another thing Twist had beaten her to.
"Not long after I got my cutie mark, actually. Winona mentioned a villain, though?" Twist tilted her head and looked at the collie standing by Apple Bloom's side.
"Right! Silver Spoon's turned into an evil magical filly, and we have to stop her from raising a giant spoon army! I think."
"That'th terrible!" Twist said "We'll have to get her back to normal ath thoon ath we can!"
"Well, maybe not normal..." Apple Bloom adjusted her bow. "Nicer than normal'd be good. She kinda mean most of the time."
"She is nice," Twist protested. "Thilver's jutht mean to you and your friendth 'cauthe Diamond doethn't like you."
"Wouldn't she be mean to you too, then?" Apple Bloom scratched her head, puzzled. She didn't even notice as Winona headed back into the main section of Sugarcube corner.
Twist shifted around a little on her seat, and took a long drink of her milkshake, flushing. As Apple Bloom was puzzling over this, the flap of Twist's bag popped open, and a furry snout with whiskers and a pair of round glasses balanced precariously above them popped out.
Hopping out, a long brown ferret stood at Twist's side. The ferret adjusted its glasses, and looked up at Apple Bloom. "I believe what Twist is a wee bit too nice to say is that the two of you are not friends."
"We aren't?" Apple Bloom said, eyes wide.
Twist nodded slightly. "Thanks, Will," she softly said to her companion.
"I can only speak to what I've seen with me own eyes, lassie, but you dunna ever hang out together, an' the most I've heard you say to Twist is 'Hiya Twist!', or asking for something in passin'. Maybe you were closer once, an' I wouldna call you enemies, but you wouldna be friends, exactly. Casual acquaintances, perhaps."
Apple Bloom's heart sunk as she thought about what he'd said. She had mostly ignored Twist since Twist got her cutie mark. Maybe he was right.
"Sorry." Apple Bloom's ears drooped. Then she looked over at the ferret. "And who are you?"
He puffed himself up in response. "I am the highly educated Will O'Ferret, at your service, miss. Or rather, at her service, I should say."
The ferret waved a paw back towards Twist.
"Er, glad to meet you then." Apple Bloom shifted her gaze back to Twist, not sure what to make of the talking ferret. "Um, so Silver's nice?"
"Well, thometimeth we hang out in the park or library and talk about bookth and thingth."
About this point, there was a loud clamor, and they all turned to look towards the entrance. There, a stranger totally wrapped in a cloak was fighting with Winona, who had grabbed a corner in her mouth, and was tugging at it fiercely. As they watched, Winona managed to yank the cloak off, revealing not a pony underneath, but a giant spoon.
It slipped out the door once free of the cloak, and Winona followed, only to return a minute later.
"Lost it," Winona said disgustedly. "We'd better get moving."
Apple Bloom stared at the door. "How did we not notice that?"
Getting up from her table, Twist finished off the milkshake, pulled on her bags, and joined them as they headed for the door.
"So, you want me to help you againtht Thilver Thpoon and her whole army of giant thpoonth?" Twist asked.
Apple Bloom nodded.
Twist sighed. "Well, at least my thpeech therapitht'll be happy."
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ok I haven't started reading just yet, but I'm allready looking forward to it.
I was wondering when I would see a new story from you.
Oh hey, new story by arcum42. With a kick ass cover to boot!
And now that I've read it... I'm not sure what to think of this, really.
It has some good stuff in it, certainly; magical fillies is something we definitely need more of, as well as Twist in an active role. And of course, you just can't go wrong with a giant spoon army.
And the text is fine from a technical standpoint, with few to no grammatical errors or typos, though perhaps a few too many commas in some places.
On the other side of the coin, however, I found the humor to be a bit flat(like the fainting scene, or 4th wall breaking for the sake of breaking the 4th wall...), and more importantly, there just wasn't anything to really draw me in. There's the whole good vs evil thing, "saving" Spoon, AB and Twist hanging out, and of course, promises of magcal filly shenanigans, but none of this succeeds to draw me in when I'm not given any reason to care about the characters(other than 'it's the ponies we all watch and love', which just isn't enough for me =/).
Basically, it's "why should I care for AB and Twist beating Silver Spoon". It's good from an "objective" standpoint, of course (defeting evil, the good side triumphs, etc etc), but doesn't feel good from a "personal" standpoint.
You'll find that in a lot of magical girl shows (and adventure shows in general), the story actually starts with the daily life of the protagonist, and almost always shows us a desire that she can't achieve, before it gets to the 'magical girl' part, with promises that this can help her achieve her desire (through character buildup, wishes, or whatever).
And even if they don't dollow that route, the protagonists will still have their daily life hardships to overcome, which helps to make the story relatable from a personal standpoint, and making us root all the more for the protagonist in the battle of good vs evil.
I advice you to study some magical girl shows you like, and ask yourself how they made you care about the characters. You'll find that more often than not, just having battles of good vs evil isn't enough.
Either way, I'll probably still watch this for another chapter or two, to see where it's going. It might surprise me yet ;)
I had to stop halfway through the story to laugh at this.
Anywho, once I finished reading what you have so far, I enjoyed it.
Can't wait for more -- and now, this really makes me wanna watch Sailor Moon. 
A magical girl anime that pokes fun at the genre's conventions? I'm in.
The weird part about this whole thing is that there is, in fact, a magical girl in a real-life show who does happen to be named Bloom. Well, it's not a Japanese show (it's Italian), but it was done in the style of the genre.
This is pretty good so far, on a more related note. I wish more magical girls had dog companions like Winona, considering that I'm a dog person.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Today, I learned not to read fanfics while eating, especially when the fanfic in question is this funny. I choked on my dinner quite a few times because I couldn't keep myself from laughing long enough to swallow.
I'll make sure to finish my meals before I start reading any of the coming chapters.
Your humble subject,
matcha cheesecake
P.S. I noticed the cover pic still says Magical Girl, instead of Magical Filly. Erm, yes, I can read Japanese...
4449324
To be honest, a fair amount of this chapter is old, but it took a while to get it cleaned up, and I wanted to have the cover art in place before I published it.
That and I've been trying to avoid too many new stories that aren't oneshots, because I have enough difficulty keeping up with my existing ones.
--arcum42
4449352
Took the words out of my mouth.
4449388
Thanks! And yeah, while I debated about leaving it in, that "copyrighted by Hasbro" line was too good, and I couldn't resist adding a jab in at the whole "song lyrics in fanfiction" thing. You'll note the theme musics lyrics are original, if inspired by an anime.
4450811
Glad you enjoyed it, and yes, I don't think food and this story will mix.
I suspect that if this really were a magical girl anime, it'd say magical girl rather than magical filly in Japanese, anyways, no matter how the translation was done in English.
4450431
Really? I might have to look at that.
Actually, I can get along with both dogs and cats, but Winona as Apple Bloom's magical companion made a lot of sense to me, and I think it worked out pretty well. Winona needs more love anyways.
--arcum42
4449352
4450953
Hmmm. Would have been good feedback to have before publishing, since I could see adding a new first scene before everything else with Apple Bloom before school, but it's a bit late for that now. This is meant to be fairly over the top, as more of a sendup of the genre, but I can see where I should probably work on Apple Bloom's characterization a bit. Silver Spoon and Twist probably got more, really.
Well, I expect I'll watch more magical girl animes before the next chapter, anyways. Though I'm not sure Puni Puni Poemy'll help much on that front.
--arcum42
4451034
It's cool, you threw her into the thick of things at first, but after her first villain fight, you can add some Slice of Life scenes (and the accompanying tag). Her first go-round with the forces of evil is bound to be either a stalemate or an insignificant victory anyway -- if I remember my magical girl protocol -- so there'll be some downtime before the next battle.
4451249
Remind me to spend some time discussing that with you via pm. I could probably use some help fleshing some things out a bit...
--arcum42
4451320
Happy to help!
Sudden thought: I think you need an obligatory scene of AB running to school with a piece of toast in her mouth. And maybe Miss Cheerilee has recently instituted a uniform policy without explanation...
4451417
Or returned to it, hence her already having the outfit in question? The toast scene'd be cute...
--arcum42
4451445
Sounds plausible. "Well, kids, we've tried a whole school year without the uniforms, and things have been utter chaos. Time to put 'em back on."
4451034
Don't be too afraid to go back and edit existing content, if you personally think it's important enough.
Of course, it has its drawbacks, as you have to spend time you'd otherwise use on followup chapters or even other stories, but it can also end up with a positive net result. If you have a solid first chapter, it can make writing the next ones pretty easy, through added motivation or added content potential, especially the "relatable daily life hardships" stuff, which can quickly fill up the otherwise deadspace between "action" scenes.
You'll just have to weigh the pros and cons, and see what you end up with.
And if you need any advice, feel free to send a message.
A magical girl story starring Applebloom? Ok, you've sold me. *Starts reading*
4451462
I could, but the opening scene's solid enough, and going from Apple Bloom to Silver Spoon back to Apple Bloom right at the beginning would confuse things, thinking about it. There'll be enough time to add more depth in coming chapters.
I actually write a fair amount of that type of thing in some of my other stories, to be honest...
--arcum42
I am going to be very disappointed if Pink Earth Filly No. 4 does not return in a recurring and/or unexpectedly major role. #MorePEF4
Also, needs more bad spoon puns.
Amusing start though, and you're right, that is some darn awesome cover art.
4451797
Oh, now that she's had a speaking role, she'll have to get used more in background shots, right? And Apple Bloom's hardly the sort to leave that sort of thing alone...
I like the notion of nameless background ponies actually being nameless, though. It feels like there's more to be explored there. And of course Pinkie's friends with all the background ponies! She undoubtedly knows all their description and numbers.
More bad spoon puns are definitely a necessity.
And yeah, I'm really happy with the cover art.
--arcum42
Mmmm... Pretty Sammy-ish. I like it!
More, please.
--Spade
I wanna see Sweetie and Scoots join Apple Bloom as magical fillies, pretty please? Flashes the CMC special.
*WolfishLOL* U need to add crossover to this story, cause I can see the link to Sailor Moon in it already!!!!!
I have a feeling this is going to get featured.
4452365
Mmm, yes, Pretty Sammy would definitely be an influence. Tenchi Muyo: Adventures in Time and Space was great...
4452523
All the CMC as magical fillies just seems a little predictable to me. Besides, both Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo have perfectly good anime niches I can fit them into.
4452643
I'm not crossing over with any one anime, though. I'm playing with the genre as a whole.
4452733
It's been in the popular box all day. Don't know if it'll get further, though. It would be nice to be featured, but it's never happened with any of my other fics, so not really expecting it.
--arcum42
4452937 Oh, I'm curious now.
4450965
It's Winx Club, if you're wondering. Except this Bloom occasionally stumbles into bad writing and sorta becomes a Mary Sue.
But the rest of the show is pretty good. Nice world-building and stuff.
4453344
I may have to watch a bit of it. Pity about the main character I'd be looking at being Mary Sueish, though.
--arcum42
I gotta say the picture looks cute in many levels, kinda almost makes Apple Bloom look like a Cardcaptor...I wonder if someone has already made that story?
4454206
The closest I know of is this video, which is even more fun with the captions on.
[youtube=WWG0KLSJi8g]
I agree the picture's great, though. It's the little details: Apple Bloom pointing the wrong end of the staff right at her face, both of their expressions, the apple blossoms...
--arcum42
Well, this seems enjoyably bizarre. Eagerly looking forward to more, especially as the curtain gets pulled further back. Pinkie may need to be on standby should Apple Bloom hit full fourth-wall awareness.
only one word to say about this so far. random!
Magical girl. SOLD.
Magical Filly? This could either be Sailor Moon
or Puella Magi Madoka Magica. If so then I presume Winona to be the evil cat being. Time to read.Edit: Read it. It's sailor moon. Off to a....odd start I will say.So an Applebloom fic in the form of an Anime in the style of Sailor moon (Which I have never seen)?
I hope shenanigans ensue!
I want to like this. I really do.
But there are some serious problems.
1. Too much fourth-wall breakage. It doesn't really work and it's not really funny. It's just...there. And it's awkward.
2. Too much tell, not enough show.
3. Your pacing is completely terrible.
So yeah, as a die-hard fan of all things magical girl...you've lost my interest right out of the gate. Not downvoting, but not upvoting or following either.
4456099
Actually if you guide yourself by the image, you could say Cardcaptor Sakura.
Apple Bloom as a Magical Girl. This I gotta see.
4455070
4455315
I'm not normally as much for fourth wall hijinks as I was here, but I was going for over-the-top, and it just seemed to fit naturally...
4455975
4458861
4456099
4456248
4458861
It's more a genre crossover then any particular magical girl anime (which is why I didn't add a crossover tag.)
My main influences at the moment were probably Pretty Sammy and Puni Puni Poemy, but I'm certain to be pulling tropes from all over...
--arcum42
4456415
Well, that's a bit disheartening. I think the fourth wall breakage is a bit hit or miss, since some people did tend to enjoy it. It was my intent for this story to be rather over the top and somewhat self-conscious. I'm being influenced to a certain extent by Excel Saga, I think.
I'll try to watch the pacing, and I'm rather aware that I need to be more descriptive in general in my writing. I'll keep an eye on that next chapter, and I may at some point run through this chapter and see if I feel a revised chapter's necessary.
Anyways, sorry to have lost your interest, and hopefully if you end up reading one of my other fanfics at some point, you enjoy it more...
--arcum42
Well since you said one of your influences was from Puni Puni Poemi... I can partially see it there in the story, definitely dialed down of course. Now have Applebloom (Or Apple Bloom, it's all preference) do a speed transformation. Or have a Librarian transformation
4459797
Well, yes, I'm not going to go quite as far as Puni Puni Poemy, like having a bunch of naked girls fly across the sky.
img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20121113220026/mlp/images/0/0a/Ponies_about_to_fly_away_S2E22.png
Okay, maybe that's not a concern here.
Excel Saga's definitely an influence, too, and by the time the next chapters done, I expect I'll have rewatched the first three Pretty Sammy OAV's...
We'll see on the transformations. A librarian transformation might be more Twist. Apple Bloom doesn't seem very bookish to me.
--arcum42
In the name of the Bloom I'll punish you!
"It's in the bylines."
I think you mean bylaws.
4456415 to think you'd have already followed him. After all, he IS the founder of most *insert princess name here*'s Library groups...
4460326 Follow for the story, not for the author. I don't follow people on FiMF unless (a) they're friends, (b) have three or more stories I really like, or (c) have one story that REALLY impressed me.
Creating a shitload of groups doesn't impress me.
4459843 Is this a crossover fic?
4459852
Gah! I hate it when I've looked at a line directly a dozen times and not had a problem with it register.
4460967
It's more of a crossover with a genre than any particular anime.
--arcum42
4460326
4460552
I did not, in fact, create all the library groups. I created Twilight's Library. One day the other admins of Twilight's Library got bored and created the other ones. I joined them, and all of them were going with a policy that admins of Twilight's Library were admins there as well, so I have admin rights, but they weren't my idea.
Those criteria make sense to me. I feel better when people follow me because we're friends, or because they are enjoying Cubic Zirconia, which I put a fair amount of effort into, anyways...
--arcum42