Cutie Mark Crusaders Emergency Response Team

An explosion in Twilight's lab causes a huge disaster all over town. Communications with Canterlot is broken, making it impossible to call for any help before time runs out for the citizens of Ponyville.

The only chance anypony has is the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Can they save Ponyville from its own doom. Celestia help us all!

Thanks to my special friend Bad_Seed_72 for all her wonderful editing work.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 22 )

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Penguin_Lord

Penguin_Lord #1 · Sep 20th, 2013 · · ·

Great story had fun reading it. Is there going to to a squeal to this?

Loopy Legend

Loopy Legend #2 · Sep 20th, 2013 · · ·

3233293 No plans yet for a sequel. But I won't rule it out for future plans.

Penguin_Lord

Penguin_Lord #3 · Sep 20th, 2013 · · ·

3233309
What does that mean

Loopy Legend

Loopy Legend #4 · Sep 20th, 2013 · · ·

3233311 Means, as of right now I got no plans to make a sequel. But I might make one later on down the track.

Penguin_Lord

Penguin_Lord #5 · Sep 20th, 2013 · · ·

3233315
Thanks for answering me look forward to if you write a squeal to this story than or whatever the next story you write now as well than.

Loopy Legend

Loopy Legend #6 · Sep 20th, 2013 · · ·

3233325 With fans like you, I just might.

SilentBelle

SilentBelle #7 · Sep 20th, 2013 · · ·

Hmm, I read about half the story before I stopped. There were a few mistakes within, but for the most part they weren't too distracting. What did stop me from reading were the character interactions.

The characters seemed to lack a sense of depth, which is a shame, because I love when the CMC are shown to have that depth which makes them dynamic and wonderful characters to write. In this story, I found a lot of the Crusaders' dialogue largely interchangeable with any of the other Crusaders. I think the story would have a bigger draw to it if the characters' motivations for their actions (verbal or otherwise) were explored a bit more.

Also, I honestly don't know if this story should have a comedy tag. I think a Slice of Life would probably fit it a bit better. While the premise for the story certainly could have made for a great comedy, I felt that the comedy never really reached me as a reader because I could not relate to the characters, and I didn't see the reason for some of the gags. For example: When Apple Bloom and Sweetie smack Scoots on the head, causing her to face-plant, I just don't really get why they'd do that. Sure it's a funny action, but I don't see the reason for it. It felt like it was a physical joke that was sort of shoehorned in there.

I love to see comedy that stems more from the characters being who they are, rather than from situational comedy (ie. Comedy that is derived from plot. Body swapping antics, age regression or what-have-you). The best is when they both combine though, a character who is understood by the reader ending up in a silly situation is pretty awesome. Unfortunately, your characterizations of the CMC didn't draw me in, so I subsequently was not drawn into the comedy.

One last nitpick... Why start with the weather? That had very little relevance to the story, considering how it starts in the library.

Anyway, it's nice seeing you again Loopy, and thanks for writing,
~SilentBelle

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