Here lies the wistful delusions of the sleep addled mind. Actually wait, no, just me.
Twilight is sentenced to life in prison. This prison, unofficially named 'Lunar Prison', has Celestia as its head warden though. Another thing is the fact that it practices Caped Panzer Games, which are death games in which certain inmate participate in various types of deathmatches and objective based combat in large mechanized tanks for various rewards. One thing, though, if you lose you die.
tags and such updated as story progresses
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I've got a few different hunches about this story
let's see how it goes
Y U HAVE SO MANY STORIES MON, TAKIN UP ALL MA FREE TIME
lol But I am really looking forward to reading this
3278293 the hunch telling you, that it isn't a good idea? listen to it
3278428 that the first chapter is going to make the story bomb really, i dunno i needed a break from my normals
That looks like the main robot from Neon Genesis Evangelion. Did you get some of your ideas from NGE?
Considering I've watched death race and have seen a few different gundam series, I am quite interested on seeing how this story progresses.
3278671 i watched all of three episodes of that
i got my inspiration out of my ass pretty much lol
3278847
You never watched the old series? Dude... really? I've watched almost the entirety of the old NGE.
3278852 it got too cliche with not enough uniqueness to balance it out :/ all just personal preference I guess
3278907
Actually, the old NGE does get somewhat stale a third of the way through, but gets better near the end.
read the chapter twice, and to be honest, it sounds interesting, then again I like giant robot battles.
Can't wait to see where this leads good luck
Enjoyed this greatly, quite interested to see where this goes. I can almost see a MoonLIght ship happening here, but I think it might be too action and violence oriented for any real romance. But feel free to prove me wrong.
interesting idea look forward to more
MORE
interesting, can u give me some kind of idea as to the form of these mecha? the image u have given so far suggests a standard tank like design, a boxy main hull, turret, large primary gun and a pair of caterpillar tracks for propulsion. however, that would not make for a an overly interesting battle...better designs come out of manga and anime from Japan. for example, the Dragon Kiser, first seen in Kyoryu Sentai Zouranger AKA the Dragonzord, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers season one. based in form off of Godzilla, it was armed with flame breath, missiles, and a drill tail. the flame breath was dropped in the MMPR version, more is the pitty, but still. Twis mecha could very well take a few cues on that form, SP1-KE for a name...i never understood y the death race cars all looked like heaps of crap...
3279478 I'll get into it when it comes up in the story, but imagine something like a realistically practical version of the cover photo, and they are usually humanoid but there are quite a few variations.
3279099 you know me, I love my romance. I was thinking about moonlight, but I've decided on a heated rivalry sort of thing maybe with scattered aggressive flirting, but if I do romance it'll go elsewhere :3
3278914 if it can't hold my attention until where it picks up then it can't hold my attention : P
3280562 then following a logical course of thought (because everyone knows Twi is nothing if not logical in her thought processes) a mech in the form of an adult dragon would be entirely fesable if for the intimidation factor alone, nothing could be more intimidating that a massive dragon mech armed with lasers and missiles. not only that, but she would know to make her mecha adaptable to changing conditions on the battlefield, and not specialized. she is perhaps the most intelligent unicorn ever to live in Equestria, and the most powerful magically speaking. thus, it would not be beyond the bounds of reason that she would create multiple Armour units for the SP1-KE. the only problem with such a system would be changing armaments on the fly. solution? accessory mecha, turning the additional Armour Units into self powered, self guided Mecha would eliminate multiple problems and give Twi an advantage in combat, allowing her to change her tactics and weapons as well as resupply quickly and easily. i can foresee at least five Armour Units off the top of my head.
Mode Blue: high mobility, high speed attack unit. based around the concept of our favorite cyan speedster, equipped with duel blades, multiple jet thrusters and limited flight capacity. SP1-KE Blue is designed for maneuverability and speed at the cost of defensive and attack power, but even though he cant take or dish out much damage, his speed allows for greater elusiveness and multi hit attacks at high speed. he may not hit hard, but he hits a lot, and that can rack up quickly.
Mode Orange: close range combat, high power attack unit. this one is based around AJ, equipped with heavier armour, double headed battle axe, and power assist unit. SP1-KE Orange, designed for a straight up fight at close range, this unit can take more hits than Blue but by comparison is much slower. focus is in dealing heavy hits to enemy Mecha as well as being able to take hits better than Blue
Mode Pink: sniper unit. u know her, u fear her, its Pinkies combat unit. equipped with a high power long range beam rifle, active camo and teleporter unit. SP1-KE Pink is designed to attack at extreme long range and with pinpoint accuracy. the active camouflage and teleporter unit keeps him hidden and the enemy guessing.
Mode White: heavy assault unit, bunker buster. with a generous helping of pain, enter the fabulousness that is Raritys unit. equipped with two particle accelerator cannons, sixteen missile pods, grenade launchers, laser designators...well, lets just say that...it makes things go 'boom' with great ease.
Mode Yellow: stealth and defensive unit. oh u had to have seen this coming. SP1-KE Yellow is designed to hide and out last the enemy with its incredible defensive power. heavy armour makes him all but invincible and enhanced stealth tech make just fining him a nightmare. although it is not designed for attack, Fluttershys unit is equipped with an enhanced remote hacking device, useful for confusing the enemy and making them defeat themselves.
3281369 ah, now see you've gone into fantasy mech area. That thing isn't quite so practical realistically, and there aren't lasers and stuff. I've already created her mech, the chapter has like a page left to write or so, and ironically enough part of it is a dragon and the thing is adaptable. If you want an idea of how the mech combat will work in this, think of mechwarrior but instead of laser or energy weapons it's mostly physical and come magical.
3281828 lasers, magical bolts, same difference really, and im actually thinking along the lines of something that Twilight could very easily create with her knowledge of spells, Applejacks Earth pony engeneering, Dashies tactical thinking, Raritys attention to detail and magical gem knowledge, Pinkies craziness and skill with a party cannon, and Fluttershys down to earth thinking and general support nature. Twi would easily have the funding to make this mecha, though i will admit, i was in something f a super sentai mind set when i was coming up with some of this stuff its still based off of tech that Twi would have available to her. the jets and thruster tech for Blue could be adapted from airships, denser metal and a strength charm would be effective for giving Orange life, Pink...well, who knows how Pinkies party cannon works but Pinkie herself? still, a simple bolt spell channeled through a shaped crystal with an invisibility and teleport spell (both of which r in Twis spellpool) would handle it. explosive technology from mining and a few transmutive spells would bring White to the fore, and similar spells would easily raise Yellow from fantasy to reality.
i did think this through, even the dragon form for SP1-KE (hey, the name fits, u always seem to leave Twis trusty dragon assistant out of these Au worlds u write...) would be a calculated psychological attack, as most ponies fear dragons and want nothing to do with them. besides, u know Rainbow would totally go for the idea of calling on accessory mecha because it would look cool and be totally awesome...and Tia did say there were no restrictions on armaments...
3281958 I recommend you wait until the next chapter is out :3
you'll either be very disappointed or it'll blow your mind
3282018 oh, a bit late for blowing my mind, that thing blew a gasket years ago and hasnt been the same since...
Twilight in a combat mech. I want to see where this goes.
3283834 so do i :p
hmmmn, so u did use a few of my suggestions in the design, the thruster pack, the sniper gun...the dragon form...i wait to see if the name for the mech i used catches on...
3295235 ... *facepalm* I told you, I had already had this written up when you posted your comment. I used literally nothing you said if memory serves, as the only part that wasn't finished when we spoke was the last paragraph or two
3296216 hey, please permit me my little fantasies, it makes things go a bit smoother for me...and it does seem that we were operating along similar thoughtlines, seeing as the dragon form, jets and limited flight from mode Blue, sniper gun from mode Pink, active camo and shielding from Yellow...we had many of the same ideas, i just thought of a way to make them more awesome...
3296462 that's kind of conceited mate
and I honestly stopped reading before you got into the colored modes, too lengthy and kind of unoriginal but still a good idea nonetheless. I had actually come up with the designs completely on the spot in school that day. The different forms I wanted to incorporate because I wanted to add a unique feature influenced by the dominantly changeling team. The sniper cannon is because I just love it, if you were to find and read any of my other mech stories you'd see I've been using it for a long long time, the dragon form because why the hell not and reasons I will not mention because of spoilers, and then the basilisk form for speed and mobility
3296973 meh, i happened to be channeling Dash when i posted that...
SQUEEEE!
3298300 that made about as much sense as pinkie pie on acid
3299478 Pinkie makes sense?
Right, so:
A. Grammar mistakes.
B. The story is a bit awkward, choppy, and too close to breaking the fourth wall at times.
C. The characters are too OoC.
I can help with these, if you want.
3303435 A, if I missed them on my initial look over before posting then it's not story breaking
B, many reasons for that, mainly the fact that my brain wants it to be humanized and I'm trying not to, but also because of my writing style I suck at starting stories
C. the only real characterization that could be really judged here is Celestia and Twilight, and I really havne't gone very deep in either of these ones. there are only two chapters, not twenty. and, for the record, technically since it's AU I can go as OoC as I want as long as I provide backstory as to why the change is there. and I do plan on explaining Twilight's past in a later chapter, but for now if you don't like it then stop reading but if you can look past little mistakes then continue and enjoy
Oh man, I was having a lot of fun reading this story, it' such a shame that it hasn't been continued. This shows a great deal of promise, I am excited to see if this ever gets continued, it's definitely worth it. As for the mechs, I do believe this would fit better with humanized figures than ponies, but the choice is ultimately yours.
I look forward to seeing more of this, and ifit doesn't get continued, it's ok, I had fun reading it
7988872 It probably won't get continued, since I don't really want to write straight ponies anymore and if I suddenly changed it to humanized it'd be more than just the stature that changes, the continuity would be nonexistent.
7989088 I see... Well, it was still a good read anyways :) I'll be sad to see this story forgotten when it had so much promise, but if you ever decide to revisit it (or rewrite it) know that you have my full support!
I wish you the best, and good luck on your future stories!!
7991302 A re-write is always possible yeah, but ultimately it comes down to if I can finish most of my other stories first. Which, knowing me, might take another four years lol.
Hmm. Shame this is abandoned. I haven't read it yet, but the premise is intriguing. I'll have to give it a read and share my thoughts. Maybe give a few suggestions if I think of any.
Good luck on your current works! Keep writing! It's the only way to get better!