Luna is sent, along with young Twilight, to old Neighpon to try and quell the feuding warlords with diplomacy. And, if that fails, reduce the bloodshed as much as possible. Turns out that Luna is the kind of mare that likes to jokingly flirt and see how far she can go to make the other uncomfortable.
Boy is she in for a surprise.
---
So the inspiration for a lot of aesthetic and naming is primarily Japanese, however I'm taking from all of the orient and I'm being fairly loose with the accuracy. Translations and terminology won't be exact, don't expect a historical rendition of feudal japan in pony form here fellas.
Will update tags if more of them become relevant.
Chapters (2)
Waiting for the cunning linguist flirt.
ah yes some twiluna from dark none of this heretical twilestia from him
pokes The twilight is dark, and scarlet revelry ever going to be updated like at all?
8775171
First one no, but reverie is high on my ' finish it already' list
There are two kinds of people who will read this story. One kind, the one you fear may pester you about accuracy, are dumb enough to ignore. Because those people will also not notice how you barely manage English, let alone two languages. They'll overlook the fact that you somehow think one warlord can feud. And that somehow this situation warrants meddling from a foreign power.
Everyone else who realizes that you barely grasp simple logic and English will not care the slightest about historical accuracy because they probably won't even read this weeb shit. The only reading they'll do is your long description and just nope the fuck out.
Yeah, this is going to be a fun fanfic to follow. Neighpon hasn't been really explored too much, looking forward to more. Especially drama involving assassins trying to kill Luna to free Nightmare Moon, as hinted at by the description of that clan.
8775208
Well that's just incredibly rude. I don't know what the hell crawled into your pants but you need to get that checked out
Say, isn't the guy who made the cover art the same guy who made the cover art for Fallout Equestria: Ouroboros?
8775366
no idea
I'll follow this. It looks interesting.
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/080/871/Suddenly_Ninjas.jpg
8775366
Nah, that was Foxinshadow (aka Zero Sum).
LOL! "About 69 percent" Twilight you lightweight. I happily drink my 75% and 80% rums neat... anything under is simply easy drinking.
Good enough reason to get a little drunk. But I imagine both will wake up in the morning and remember exactly what they have done. I'm hoping there will be cuddles and maybe even a round two before they get up.
The flirting game was fun to read (except for the parts where Twilights friends drunken antics were mentioned, those didnt work for me).
Thus far, the TwiLuna is immense fun and I dont mind a fast start like this. You brought them together nicely and thats what matters. Besides, now theres more space for Tuna throughout the rest of the story
Keep this up and this story is totally going to be worth a Fave.
8776165
Well she is small i'd expect her to barely handle 4% let alone 69% (even though I'm sure that number was a sex joke)
8776250
Lol true. Although 4% is very mild.
Judging by the context of the chapter, Im sure that number was a sex joke too.
Dear 'Tia
We have arrived safely and so far have had a wonderful time so far, the asa clan has been very welcoming and the open air hot springs are just delightful as is the baiju. Lord Eiko has given us beautiful outfits, you have one as well. As for Twilight we find her to be a cunning linguist and I am in awe of her abilities. If she keeps it up I may have to start writing songs about her prowess! Meanwhile Twilight is hiding under her wings blushing. For what reason we have no clue, she even gifted us with this beautiful moon pendant. Talk to you again soon
Your faithful sister
Woona
P.s we art not drunk no matter what Twilight says
8776253
8776250
Not a joke lol, and while it's not a ton of alcohol, down it in one go and it fucks you up
8776717
Especially if ponies have much bigger shot glasses it can
good story so far, though I kind of wish twilight be one of those who is never seen drunk, ie she can drink as much as she want and never get a hangover or act or look drunk.
8783660
Pfft, there's nobody like that, short of dragons when it's not dragon liquor. Especially Twilight, she's not exactly a social butterfly. I'm under the belief that she drinks with her friends, which is to say that she can definitely hold her liquor, but after a bottle of sake and what equates to like a triple shot of baijiu, she'd definitely be feeling it
Luna's just out of practice.
8783800
oh I can see that but I can also see that the her teacher would make sure she could hold her liquor under most but dragon stuff.
8783856
(in my canon) Dragon Liquor is fermented with gemstones, and then the gemstones are powdered in the drink itself. Cheaper ones have chunks, and so are a choking hazard for anything that doesn't eat gemstones, but the good shit is so finely powdered it goes down smooth as water. It's the equivalent of infusing it with mana directly, though not nearly as powerful, which essentially causes the intoxication to become a magical effect as well as a physical poison so it transcends most immunities to alcohol- mostly in dragons but also for a particular Alicorn of the sun. Alternatively, gemstones soaked in booze is the equivalent of vodka gummy bears XD
Great story so far I really like the setting your are creating. I caught some errors
"Celestia" was impressed by her once again. > probably meant to say Luna there
Luna felt Twilight shift so that "was" was almost completely on top of her > she
Also a different approach to TwiLuna, much less subtle and no agonizing slow buildup and I approve.
8786202
I've done enough subtle romance lol, and this whole 'game' thing just kinda happened. And yeah I've noticed those errors, once I get a little furthe in- or if I get really bored and can't figure out what to write- I'll go through and fix errors.
You've got an awkward tense shift here:
This sounds rather stilted -- you'd want to change the first sentence there to past tense, otherwise it breaks immersion badly, and does not fit with the rest of the paragraph, which is in past-tense.
we.
situated, and you want to use a semicolon in place of the comma.
FYI, it's fiction. Most people won't notice any inaccuracies, much less me, and those who do notice are hopefully kind/smart enough to place it as changes made for an AU involving non-humans, if indeed they were not purposely made for that reason. You might get grammar tips, though. Some of those can cause far more damage to a story. I'll probably read regardless if the idea is good, but I also post corrections to make the story better for future readers.
semicolon again. You know to use those when the sentences can stand on their own (full period stop) but you want them to be connected, as they are here.
That one should be pretty apparent.
That went into present tense again. While there are times that this works, here it messes up since the story is a retelling of past events (like a history or biography) and these sentences are from a summary of a conversation of historical events up to the present, so in all cases, they should be past tense.
That one went mixed-tense, a really big issue.
Look out for sentence fragments.
Are you sure that Nightmare was purged? That one goes up with "Heads I win, Tails you lose" on a coin toss.
Ah, I though this was rated Teen...
Let's say the pink fog is a bit dense with this one. Can you turn that down a bit?
"Offscreen with thee!" :D
Amusing references to ... stuff and things ... are fine, though.
please update
So... Who won the flirting game and what must the loser pay them?
when can we expect the next chapter?
9104313
never if you don't stop pinging every single story with a copy paste.
9104472
that just means i like thows storys, and want to finish reading them.
9104514
Yes, but leaving no feedback beyond literally the same 'when's the next chapter' on just about every single one is incredibly rude and frustrating to see. These chapters come out when they're finished. If I knew when they'd come out they'd be out already.
9106562
sorry i just hate leaving things unfinished.
oh i cant wait for more of this to come out!!!
9198763
I'm ina bit of a hiatus due to work and other things but it's one I really want to finish.
9198784
no problem man, your life comes first just makes waiting that more rewarding
I'm looking forward to more of this. I love stories that have this type of emotional turmoil.
9198784
Update?
More of this pls?
The fact that this story and Clockwork Dreams has never been finished is close to being a Crime these two are so good storys, oh well life can be a ass to us when we don't want it to, But i got to ask is there any chance you write again?, if not oh well
11272789
They're two stories Id love to finish, but I've only had the drive to sit down and write for DnD stuff for a long time. I've tried, and by the time I write a sentence for anything the drive drives right off a cliff for the next six months.
11273077
well that sucks a lot i do hope you will overcome this one day, else thanks for the reply and i wish you a Great day
Patience awaiting the next chapter