Here lies the wistful delusions of the sleep addled mind. Actually wait, no, just me.
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What if Twilight was orphaned before her acceptance into Celestia's school for gifted unicorns?
what if she and the princess of the sun became inseparable? What if Twilight starts calling Celestia mommy after their lessons?
What if Celestia loves it?
Inspired by the cover photo
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Can't wait to see how you go about this Dark. Fav'd and thumbed, so don't let your readers down. (No Pressure)
o.o... well im interested to see where this plays on... it seems the popularity of 'mother' stories have risen because of Mother's Day, no surprise. It always warm my heart to read about it :)
oh and, fix your grammar and spelling mistakes please o.o
This just made my night.
This has the potential to become a great story. This chapter seemed to be a little rushed and not much detail but all and all, it was pretty good. Can't wait to see more of this.
I like it and I hope to read more of your work
good as prologues go, this story is worth watching. My only concern, what about little Spike? Celestia took Twilight with her and had Quill start on arragments for he moving into the castle but what of the newly hatched baby dragon? Had she no plans for him, or is their going to be a standard protocol? Did the other ponies who passed the entrance exam also hatch baby dragons that they will have to care for? I've read a few fics where that was the case, I kind of wish that was the case in the show's cannon.
I liket very much.
hmmmmm go on
HOLY SHIT YOU'RE ALIVE.
Holy....
Awesome.
that was rushed, but bloodly brilliant
This can be awesome. Keep up the good work
This has so much potential, please don't drop it!
Hope to see an update soon!
All my yes is all i can say.
This is in the Twilestia group? Interesting.
This should be cute.
2570158 i'll be getting to that sometime after chapter 2, maybe as soon as 3.
2571811 it is? i didnt do that. this is mummylestia
I am always partial to Momlestia, and the mother/daughter relationship between Celestia and Twilight. So I am looking forward to seeing where you will take this.
2571841
I suspected as much, but it is in the "other" folder. I'm looking forward to where this goes.
I think this is an improvement over some of your other writings. I hope that you don't let this story die.
Always wanted a story like this but no writing abilities to do so! I really hope you will keep writing it!
Sometimes I derp gratuitously.
Also do moar story chapter things.
Im ready to ride this feel train to diabetus. I await more oh great author!
What if every sentence in the description wasn't a question?
What if I edit this comment as soon as I'm finished reading?
Edit: What if the prologue is a bit rushed but otherwise decent?
What if I didn't notice any grammar or spelling errors?
What if I told you that the world we live in is all an illusion?
What if I gave you the choice between the red pill and blue pill and if you can't remember what they do you can't google it?
Nice story, seems a bit fast-paced, and noticed an improper capitalization of "filly", but I'll keep an eye on this one. Or, er...three. I hope fumbling with the "favorite" button didn't send three different alerts about that...
Never mind it loaded.
2573058 i hit publish and then realized it hadn't even saved when I pasted it last time... so a bit of derp was involved in the posting of this chapter
Haha I'm the same way when I write a new chapter. I'll have a vague idea I want to do, then think of something cool in the middle and run with it. It was pretty spiffy though, I'm digging the story so far. It's cute.
So did the Sonic Rainboom happen in this universe?
Thinking ahead a bit. This is a universe where it makes 95% sense that Twilight would become an alicorn. Instead of 70% (give or take).
2573149
Lol. When I actually bother to attempt writing longer stuff(I've never finished any such thing.), I tend to come up with different points of the chapter in my head in great detail, go to the computer, and ad-lib the hell out of things to connect it all.
This deserves all the love ever. Well written characters, nice idea, and adorkableness in droves.
2572297
to last one: grind them both up and inhale the mixture.
imgs.xkcd.com/comics/matrix_revisited.png
So absolutely nopony at all so much as blinked an eye when Celestia went "Yoink, I'm taking this filly now!"? At the very least, the Orphanage staff should be up on her case when Twilight doesn't come back from the entrance exam, since you know, its kinda their job to protect their wards from strange ponies foalnapping them.
This pleases me.
2573513 You're serious? This is the Princess, confirmed by everyone there.
Red Tape tends to disappear when people/ponies that high want something.
The story seems interesting but the passing is to fast leaving barely time to the reader to picture the scene when it jumps to another.
th03.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2011/255/7/3/book_fort_twilight_by_dreatos-d49p4jw.png
Also, no Spike?
2573557
Being Princess does not automatically mean Celestia has blanket immunity to legal prosecution. And she HAS committed a crime here, since she waltzs right off with a twelve year old filly without either telling or getting the approval of her proper legal guardians. Celestia should have done things the proper way and contacted the Orphanage before she took Twilight home, so at the very least the staff wouldn't panic when Twilight doesn't come home that night and then contact whatever Canterlot has for law enforcement. And said law enforcement will be spending the evening combing the streets and alleyways searching for Twilight's battered and violated corpse or knocking down doors trying to find the foalnapper. At the very least some noble will be able to use this little incident as ammunition against Celestia in the game of politics.
2573647 I'll concede that very last sentence.
Everything else is nothing more than you trying to foist laws on a world that may or may not have them.
There has been no mention of a parliament in canon, or this story. Quite the contrary, the crown seems to have total control, as is evident by her ability to stop an event in a town with but a mere word.
Of course, now you're going to say that that's a bad thing, and blah blah blah.
Long story short, this is not your story. Don't question the politics of a story, until they begin to contradict each other. At which point, have at it.
2572297
I cut them in half, stick them together with Nutella and eat them both. Then I watch the multiverse of lighthouses burn.
Also: Why no Sonic Rainboom?
2573647
Hmm. Perhaps Quill did inform the Orphanage when finishing up matters at the end of the previous chapter? And that also opens up an interesting twist on 'Celestia being Twilight's Mother' theme when the final paperwork goes across her desk.
I get that Celestia is a princess, but that seemed a little bit rushed.
Huh, Twilight seems almost Mary Sue-ish smart in this. I mean really, in the Cutie Mark Chronicles episode, she was what, 5-6 years old for the magic test? She seems to be doing really well at all this mind link magic within a couple of hours.
P.S.
This is kinda cute, but Twilight seems a little over uneducated and understanding even for a 12 year old (which seems a little old for acceptance into an academy where you teach magic, at least to me). Would she even know what is meant by 'mindscape'?
Pretty classy orphanage if you can get taken to the Royal Library, but then, anything to keep the crazy unicorn from blowing up the building, yes?
First chapter is in definite need of some polish. As for the second chapter Twilight seems to adapt to the idea of being Celestia's student far to quickly.
As for the mind chamber, that's not something you just spring on a child. And I can't imagine Celestia just springing that on her.would be a great idea for later down the road, but I think you spring it on too quick.
You can color me interested for now but this does need some work.
Best of luck- DangerBeans
It's a pretty unpolished read but really rather cute. I'll keep my eye on this.
You have a great concept to develop here, this AU is surely one of the best I've seen, and I hope to see you expand it even more.
That being said, I think you're going too fast with the story... You could explore more of Celestia's and Twilight's emotions. Make us feel them both more, and see the natural link that will result when the princess adopts our little adorkable pony.
You could, for example, show Twilight as being more introspective and detached to pony contact, perhaps even throwing a friend of her, and then taking him/her away as adopted, and see how Twilight would react to losing her only friend. Or perhaps a caring worker in the orphanage that likes Twilight, together with the counterpoint of a mean director.
For Celestia you could explore the loneliness of being an eternal monarch, and how the nearly 1000 years of her sister's banishment are making her wanting to have a someone to look forward after every stressing day in the court.
Give an objective for each major character to do something in the chapter, and don't be afraid to let it increase in size. For example, you could show how Twilight studied and got ready for the exam. Show what characters helped/hindered her. The same goes for Celestia, explore how day after day she keeps her loving face to all Equestria, but in the inside she is lonely and just want somepony to hug and cry.
Thank you for sharing this wonderful fic idea with us. I sincerely hope to see you develop it to a great story.
Is Shining Armor still alive?