[Fixed] Episode 67: "Cadance...Your Jokes Are Not Funny." (Season Finale Part 4)
Scoundrel? Do we even still use those terms?
Oh, right—angry alicorn about to blow your head off. Gotta think fast! You're still inside the room filled with an on-going brawl for best princess. Wait, speaking of guards, does Cadance even have her own branch of Royal guard? Not important at the moment, brain
Even though you're pretty sure your facing your death (again...), you can't help but think,
Scoundrel? Do ponies even still say that? I mean, sure, Luna has that whole 'Thou' and 'Thee' thing going on, but that's just her thing, and besides I'm pretty sure Cadance is younger then Luna. Wait... how do you tell the age of a immortal? I mean they don't age and all that, so how would you know what their age is, or how old or young they are without asking them directly?
You gulp in fear at just the thought of asking a mare her age. You're about to continue your mental rambling when you remember that you have an angry mare pointing a glowing, ready-to-blast-you, horn at you.
Oh, right... angry alicorn about to blast my head off. I gotta think of something quick, or I'll become a stain on the door. I can't go back though the door I came in, there's still that brawl I started in there and I don't want to get caught in the middle of that. Luckily none of Cadance's guards are here- wait a second... Does Cadance even have her own branch of the Royal guard? Wait stop, that's not important right now brain, right now we need a plan to survive and NOT get blasted!
.
As you are thinking up plans to escape your magical death, you can't help but think along side your escape plans...
After all of this, he really need to learn how to 'dodge & block' from 'Kungfu for dummies'.
This has got to be the fifth-hundredth time someling has managed to corner me. If I survive this, I am sooooo gonna learn how to dodge and block from the Kung-Fu for Dummies book. Cause I am seriously getting tired of being cornered by these ponies.
After putting that on your mental to-do list, you are about to continue to think up of ways to escape, when you see that Cadance is about to fire at you, so being the smart changeling you are, you decide to go with the last plan you thought up, so you put you plan into action...
You get only one syllable out (Something like "Um...", "Er...", or "Hi...") before Cadance blasts you into a shelf.
"Uh-"
*ZAP*
That is you were about to put your plan into action when Cadance blasts you. The blast sends you flying into the door, which then causes you to bounce off it like it was rubber (which also causes the door to open), sending you crashing into a nearby window (which doesn't shatter, surprisingly). You rub your head in pain, but you can't help but think,
How is it that compared to Twilight's blasts, this one didn't hurt as much? You would think an alicorn's blast would be more powerful than a unicorn's, unless-
Before you can finish that thought, you see Cadance coming at you. Thinking quickly (for once) you decide to do something you should have done in the first place...
Also the only way bugzes getting out of this one is to be the confident cocky ice cold pimp alfa male changeling over flowing with swag that he is .
Candace hoverd ovey you menacingly her horn glowing.
"OH SWEET LUNA DON'T KILL ME I DIDDINT MEAN TO MESS UP THE BUFFET TABLE OR PEEK AT LUNA TAKEING A SHOWER OR MESSING UP THAT STREET PERFORMERS ACT!!!! AND
You decide to act like the big, awesome, heroic, not-afraid-of-anything, changeling that you are-
"OH SWEET LUNA DON'T KILL ME I DIDDINT MEAN TO MESS UP THE BUFFET TABLE OR PEEK AT LUNA TAKING A SHOWER OR MESSING UP THAT STREET PERFORMERS ACT!!!! AND FOR ACTING LIKE A BAD GUY BACK IN PONYVILLE, AND APPLELOOSA. AND FOR PULLING ALL THOSE PRANKS ON THOSE RICH SNOBS BACK AT THE GALA BUT TO BE HONEST THE DESERVE IT!!"
...
Or begging. Begging works too.
Cadance just gives you a look that says "You're kidding, right?" before she charges up another spell. You begin to panic at the fact that you can't think of anyway to escape your demise.
If I only wasn't wearing my awesome cloak, then she would... *ding*
Take off the hood before she blast you into next week. And tell her it's you (hopefully, her opinion of you hasn't changed).
Throw off your hood and yell "Wait don't taze me bro! It's me Bugzy, see?"
To which Cadence replies "I know, and my statement still stands. Now get on the ground."
"What? Cadence why, I thought we were friends."
She glares at you and says "We were friends. But no friend of mine would have tried to destroy Apploosa, kidnapped Celestia's guards, AND attacked Ponyville with a pack of Diamond Dogs! I don't know why I ever trusted you before, "Hooded Offender" but you're no friend of mine. Now surrender."
You slap yourself at how stupid you are and think IDIOT! This whole mess could have been solve if I just took off my stinking hood! After your done berating yourself, you look at the charging Cadance and scream....
You slap yourself at how stupid you are and think,
IDIOT! This whole mess could have been solved if I just took off my stinking hood!
After you're done berating yourself, you look at the glowing-horned Cadance and scream....
"WAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT!"
Cadence stops her glowing horn and looks at you in confusion. You quickly pull off your hood and say,
"Wait don't zap me bro- I mean sis! It's me Bugze, see?"
You point at your changeling head to prove your point. Cadance looks shocked for a second, before she gives you a cold hard glare and charges up her horn as she says in a dark tone.
"I know, and my statement still stands. Now stand still so I can zap ya."
You look at Cadance with shock, betrayal, and sadness as visions of Applebloom glaring at you during the Ursa attack come reeling back to you and you can't help but think,
No... No Luna NO! Not again!
You then ask her in a shaky voice,
"Wh...what Cadence why, I... I thought we were friends."
She just continues to glare at you and says,
"We were friends. But no friend of mine would have tried to destroy Appaloosa,"
"But!",
"Kidnapped Celestia's guards,"
"That was-",
"AND attacked Ponyville with a pack of Diamond Dogs!"
"I didn't-"
"I don't know why I ever trusted you before, 'Hooded Offender', but you're no friend of mine. Now surrender or die."
...
*crack*
Your orange mane covers your eyes as you look down at the ground and you just begin to chuckle and cry as Cadance looks at you disturbed and asks
"Wha.. what's so funny!?"
You stop chuckling and look at Cadance, which causes her to gasp. All she sees is cold, dead eyes. You then say in a sad tone,
"Heheh, why aren't I surprised. Why did I ever think that you would still be my friend after all the things I've done. So, you know what... I'm gonna give you the honor..."
Cadance looks at you confused and asks,
"Give me the honors of what?"
You chuckle a little bit before you say,
"The honor... of striking down the Hooded Offender. After all it makes sense that my first friend AND an alicorn princess is the one that finally brings me down."
With that said you close your eyes and you spread your front hooves out and say,
"Go ahead...finish me."
So you wait...
and wait...
and wait...
Deja vu much.
So with a heavy sigh, you open your eyes and see...
Not knowing what else to do you close your eyes and wait for your demise. You reopen them and look up to see that there is a blue oval above your head and Cadence's horn is now glowing orange. She points her horn to your feet and fires, then...you fall...and fall...and scream like a filly...and fall and all you hear is maniacal laughter. "Ah Bugze, I wish I could of seen your face, you thought I was gonna blast you", however all you heard was "face...blast you" which just caused you to screamed more as your brain blended into a smoothie-like paste.
A blue oval above your head. You look at it in confusion and you then look at Cadance and see that she's smiling a trollish smile and that her horn is now glowing orange. Your eye twitches in annoyance when Cadance says in a sing-song voice,
"Oooo Bugze~, I. Got. You."
And with that she fires the orange beam below you, and the next thing you know, you're falling. And you fall... and fall... Cue you screaming like a filly... and more falling... some more falling. And the whole time you hear Cadance laughing maniacally before she says between laughs,
"Oh Bugze, I wish you could've seen your face! You thought I was actually going to kill you? Priceless! Oh, I wish I had a camera!"
However, since you're falling endlessly at high speeds, all you hear is "Face" and "kill you." which causes you to scream even more like a filly as your brain became like a smoothie-like paste. Finally, after a few more minutes of falling, Cadance finally stops the spell. Sadly you were only halfway though the top portal so when it closes you're stuck halfway in the ceiling. Cadance burst out laughing at your situation, while all you do is mumble. After a few minutes of you grumbling and Cadance laughing, you finally have enough of it and you shout,
"HEY, MIND GETTING ME DOWN FROM HERE!"
Cadance stops chuckling and says,
"Sure."
She then teleports you out of the ceiling and next to her. After you shake your head to get the fuzzy feeling in your brain to stop and mumble a quick "Thank You", you yell at her in anger,
"WHAT THE BUCKING HELL CADANCE! THAT WASN'T FUNNY AT ALL! IT WAS CRUEL AND BUCKING SADISTIC! YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT HURTS THINKING YOUR FEW FRIENDS HAVE TURNED AGAINST YOU?! I DO BECAUSE I'VE ALREADY WENT THROUGH THAT **** AND I NEVER WANT TO GO THROUGH IT AGAIN YOU BUCKING PINK DUMBFLANK!!!"
Cadance recoils in shock and guilt from your outburst before saying,
"Oh, Bugze... I didn't know... I'm so so sorry. If I had known I would have never done it..."
She hugs you before saying, "Please forgive me!"
Calming down, you sigh and say "Okay... but just this once."
Cadance smile warmly and whispers "Besides, it's nice to meet the most clumsy and 'evil' changeling out there again."
You chuckle a bit at what she said as you hug her back while saying,
"Yeah... Nice to see you again as well."
-Ask her where's Princess Luna (she's the biggest danger to Nightshade.)
She asks how you got past her guards and you point to the hall full of unconscious guards
After you and Cadance are done hugging each other, you decide to ask her some questions that you've had on your mind for awhile now. Just as your about to ask her your first question, she asks you one!
"Hey, Bugze, out of curiosity, how did you get into this room? I mean there was a company of Royal Guards in the room before this one. So how did you get in?"
You give her a deadpanned look before pointing towards the opened door. Cadance gasps in shock, and you can't blame her as every single one of the guards that were in the room are knocked out (there was even a pegasus guard on top of the fan on the ceiling and a pony half-sticking out of a beer keg). Cadance looks at you in shock and asks,
"How... How did this happen?"
You simply shrug and say,
"What can I say, they all had different opinions."
Cadence just looks at you blankly and sighs while saying "Whatever" as she closes the door. You just chuckle before you put on your serious face and ask,
"Anyway, incompetent guards aside. Do you know where Princess Luna is?"
You ask this because Luna is the biggest threat to Nightshade. The way she acted towards her when she first saw her tells you that she will kill Nightshade if she got the chance, so your best bet is to avoid Luna like you avoided the Hive the time they tried a "Bean Burrito Night" (So much gas...*shiver*). Cadance says,
"Well, there was a diplomatic mission to Maretonia scheduled for the same night as the Gala, but Auntie Luna managed to get it first with her mastery of the art of 'dibs' so I'm stuck at this boring gala... Again..."
"You hate the Gala too?"
"Of course! Who in their right mind actually enjoys the Bland Boring Ball? Why do you ask?"
You sigh in relief at that, before quickly saying
"Oh, no reason. Just curious."
Cadance looks at you with a confused look, before saying "Whatever" again. You nod your head and ask your next question that has been on your mind ever since you heard about it...
-Ask her what is Nightmare Moon
"What or who is "Nightmare Moon"?"
Cadance looks at you strangely before shrugging. She then begins to tell you the tale of the dreaded "Nightmare Moon"
ONE EXPLANATION THAT YOU ALL SHOULD KNOW. IF YOU DON'T, THEN WATCH THE FIRST TWO EPISODES OF MLP!
As Cadance finishes the tale, you can't help but think,
That explains why Luna wants to hurt Nightshade; she thinks Nightshade's just a mini-version of her evil half. Huh, so all of this is a simple misunderstanding. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to prove that little Nightshade is not this 'Nightmare Moon'. Just like how I have to prove that I'm the good guy!
After you finish thinking, you remember something important...
-Give necklace to Cadance
You pull your gift out of the inventory, and hold it up for Cadance to see. She gasps, and her eyes open wide. Nailed it, you think.
"You don't know what that is, do you?"
Well, maybe not. "Uh, something pretty for a nice mare?"
She laughs and shakes her head. "It's a Lover's Jewel. That heart shape is a natural formation, and they are the only known gems that do that. They were quite popular among the upper classes as a symbol of engagement."
"Huh. That's interest-" Her last word sinks in. "OH LUNA NO!" You jump back, and the necklace falls to the ground.
Cadance catches it in her magic before it hits. "I'm afraid I have to decline your generous proposal." The necklace floats back over to you. "Why don't you hold on to it? Give it to somepony special one day. They are incredibly rare. I've never even seen one out of a museum."
"Really? The jeweler I took them to didn't say anything about this."
"Like I said, most of them are in museums. A lot of ponies don't know about them, and, well, it's kind of my job as the Princess of Love to know about all of the... wait, did you say 'them?' As in, more than one?"
"Yeah. I gave one to my daughter."
"You found two?" Cadance sits down, dumbfounded. She shakes her head in disbelief. "Bugze, I think you just cashed in all your good luck for the next decade or so."
"Oh, that reminds me Cadance."
She looks at you confused as you pull your gift out of the inventory, and hold it up for Cadance to see. She gasps, and her eyes open wide.
Nailed it, you think smugly.
"You don't know what that is, do you?" She asks you in shock.
"Uh, something pretty for a nice mare who's pink, and my friend?"
She laughs and shakes her head.
"It's a Lover's Jewel. The heart shape is a natural formation, and they are the only known gems that form that way. They were quite popular among the upper classes as a symbol of engagement."
"Huh. That's interest-" Her last word sinks in causing you to shout, "OH LUNA NO! I'm too young to get married, I'm only #$ for Luna's sake!" (You thought I was gonna give you Bugze's age didn't you)
You jump back and drop the necklace in shock, but Cadance catches it in her magic before it hits the ground.
"I'm afraid I have to decline your generous proposal." She teases kindheartedly as she floats the necklace back over to you.
"Why don't you hold on to it? Give it to somepony special one day. They are incredibly rare as I've never even seen one out of a museum."
You chuckle at that and think while putting the necklace away in "The Inventory",
Yeah, like anypony would love a changeling.
Meanwhile across Equestria, multiple mares sneeze at the same time, all of them thinking, Someponys talking about me
You suddenly get a feeling of dread as if your life is gonna get even more complicated then it already is. Shaking off the feeling, you say
"Really? The jeweler I took them to didn't say anything about this."
Cadance shakes her head and says,
"Like I said, most of them are in museums. A lot of ponies don't know about them and, well, it's kind of my job as the Princess of Love to know about all of the- Wait, did you say 'them'? As in, more than one?"
"Yeah. I gave one to my daughter." You reply.
"You found two?" Cadance sits down, dumbfounded. She shakes her head in disbelief.
"Bugze, I think you just cashed in all your good luck for the next decade or so."
You chuckle at that and say,
"Trust me Cadance, I ran out of good luck a long time ago."
Cadance chuckles at what you said, before saying in confusion,
"Wait... daughter?"
You chuckle nervously as you rub a hoof behind the back of your head and say,
"Yeah..about that. You see-"
"Honey, are you ther-"
You're interrupted by the sound of someling talking. You both look over to the door to see Cadance's husband glaring at you hatefully. You chuckle nervously and scream in the RCV,
"LOOK, A DISTRACTION!!!"
Unfortunately, Shining just covered his ears with his hooves before you yelled that and as he's putting his hooves down and continuing to glare at you he says,
"Lousy try changeling, but my LSBFF already told me about that tactic of yours."
Luna, he knows I'm a changeling AND about one of my favorite tac- Wait, what's a LSBFF*- GAH! Not important brain! Need. Diversion. Fast!
You spot a mug on the ground from the corner of your eye (must have been thrown out of the hall during that brawl) so you grab it with your magic and yell,
"Have a drink on me!"
Shining quickly put up a forcefield spell as you hurl the mug at him... and the mug pathetically lands a few feet in front of you.
Cadance and Shining both blink and look blankly at the mug before Shining says,
"Seriously? That's the best you could-"
He stops abruptly as he looks back up and sees you're not there. He then turns and sees you running down the hall yelling,
"I meant to do thaaaaaaaaaa-"
He growls and yells,
"HEY! GET BACK HERE FUGITIVE!"
Before he begins to chase you and Cadance is not that far behind, screaming,
"SHINING WAIT! DON'T HURT HIM!"
After running though multiple hallways (with the husband firing magic blasts at you, which causes you to scream "HOT LAZER HOT LAZER, HOT LAZER!" the whole time.), you feel as if your about to escape him, but sadly, Shining finally manages to land a shot at you, which knocks you off an upper-floor balcony and fly straight into someling in the hall below. You hear a gasp and look to see you crashed into Blueblood and that Rarity is right next to him. Before you can do anything, Blueblood jumps up, his face literally red with anger, before he shouts,
"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING YOU BUMBLING BABOON! I'VE HAD A ROUGH DAY AS IT IS, AND I DON'T NEED SOME HOODED CREEP (you pulled your hood up while you were running from the husband) MAKING IT WORSE! NOW YOU BETTER-"
Seeing Shining and Cadance coming out of the corner of your eye (and not having the time or interest to deal with Prince Blueblood) you run away from the Prince mid-rant as Rarity says,
"Wait... Was that the-"
"HEY!!! I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF RANTING! GET BACK HERE YOU FACELESS PEASANT BEFORE I-"*splat*
Blueblood's rambling is cut short as a pie is thrown into his face. You start to chuckle at that as you hear Nightshade say in Neighponese,
"Sono baka o toru! (Take that idiot!)"
Blueblood gets even redder as the pie slid off his face. Soon, steam start to come out of his ears and nose and he looks at Nightshade and screams,
"WHY YOU INSOLENT LITTLE BRAT!!!"
"Watashi ni ikou! (Let go of me!)"
"Prince Blueblood! She's just a filly, you don't have to be so rough!"
Your blood runs cold and you stop dead in your tracks when you hear that exchange and you turn around to see Prince Blueblood grabbing Nightshade upside-down with his magic as Rarity, Cadance, and Shining look at them in shock.
"Oi you arrogant jerk, put the Filly dow-" *POOF*
Of course as soon as you say that, her transformation runs out. Rarity, Blueblood, Cadance and her husband gasp in shock, but, suddenly Blueblood begins to chuckle maliciously and says in a dark tone,
"Well well well, if it isn't the reincarnation of Nightmare Moon. Auntie Luna will feel so grateful to me if you were to just... disappear."
Cadance, Rarity, and even Cadance's husband gasp in horror while Nightshade starts to whimper in terror, but that doesn't matter. What does matter though...
*snap*
IS BEATING THE EVER LIVING STUFFING OUT OF THE SNOBBISH JERK WHO HAS HIS GRIMY HOOVES ON YOUR DAUGHTER!
Killer intent (KI) slowly fills the room, as you glare at Blueblood with your menacing orange glowing eyes as you say low menacing voice,
"If you don't put her down right now, I will flay the skin from your flesh and the flesh from your bones and scrape your bones dry. AND STILL YOU WILL NOT HAVE SUFFERED ENOUGH!!!" You scream the last part in the RCV
What do you do?
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That plan where he did the thing in the place with the guy, you know that one.
Congrats! You got a feature! (Although the first time might have already happened a long time ago)
Edit: Oh, and also, you may want to take a look on your latest chapter again. More specifically the very end.
4849330 yeah, from halfway through the story to the end it was all in a quote box
Yeah, the last half of the chapter is one big quote box. Might want to fix that. I shall think of something to suggest and comment again later.
You have already shown that you have a whole lot of power when you are in beserk mode and somewhat decent control.
So, make surgical, quick, precise and powerful strikes on Blueblood (out cold him is even better). Knock out those that prevent your escape (Precise and effective, don't need to go overboard). Pick NightShade up and get the hell out of there.
P.S. I would probably go with Appleloosa because its main goal is achieved.
4849330
4849464
4849478
Fixed it, and sorry about that. In my defense it was 2 am in the morning when I put the edited chapter in. But still, sorry
.
4849611 eh, it's cool. Right now I'm trying to get my creative juices flowing to set up some sort of suggestion. Welp, only one way to do that! Drink homicidal-causing Coka Cola.
Have him shout somewhere during the fight "I put the fun in FUNERAL, LAUGHTER IN SLAUGHTER!"
The Appleoosa fight was a success, the battle with Trixie was a good idea for him, so I have to say the kidnapping of a greater deity and sun goddess.
Blueblood laughs. "I am a prince of Equestria. And there are four of us to match the one of you. You can do nothing to me, mongrel."
You laugh a laugh from the horrors of the abyss. "You must suck at math worse than me." Faster than he can blink, you dash forward and punch Blueblood in the face, launching him backwards. Nightshade falls, and you catch her with a tendril from your tail. "There's only three of you."
Rarity cowers away from your evil form. She remembers the forest. Shining Armor steps in front of Cadance, and they both back away.
"I must be having an off day. Seems there's only one." You stalk forward, and Blueblood tries to scramble away, but you catch him with your tail and hold him upside down in front of your face. "Why don't we make it zero?"
Pain. Blood. Death. Destuction. Kill. KILL. KILL!
"Daddy," Nightshade whispers in you ear. "You're being scary again. Don't kill him."
"What if I just banish him to the gap between dimensions? Can I do that?"
Nightshade blinks. "Can you do that?"
"Maybe? I guess I could just punch him really hard again." You turn to look over your shoulder. "Can I punch him really hard again?"
Shining Armor is looking at Nightshade oddly. "Did she just tell you not to...? Huh? Oh, yeah. Go for it. The guy's a dick."
Blueblood gasps. "I beg your-" the rest of his sentence is cut off by your punch. His body flies back and smashes down a set of doors at the end of the hall. You follow him into the main hall, where everypony is enjoying the rest of the Gala. A pony rushed to Blueblood's side to help him up.
You can't believe your eyes when the pony looks at you. Likewise, Braeburn's jaw hits the floor. "YOU! Chief, it's him!"
"It's who?" The buffalo chief looks over, and his eyes narrow when he spots you. "YOU!" He throws his glass to the floor, shattering it and taking a charging stance. "Let's do this!"
"Get in line, rockhead!" You know that voice... You turn around and see the last mare you expected to see transform her gown into a pointed hat and wizard cape. "The Great and Powerful Trixie has been waiting for this!"
Barking laughter fills the room as the doors across the room open to let the Diamond Dogs in. "If old master is going to get tail kicked, Diamond Dogs be here to see it done!"
Shining Armor enters behind you. "You're all wrong! He belongs to the Royal Guard!"
"Shove it, soldier boy!" The insane mare from the train steps out from the crowd. "He's MINE!"
"Ah've been chasing the varmint since the set-up chapter! If anyone's taking him down, it's me!" Applejack pushes her way through the crowd followed by Rainbow Dash, Twilight, and Flash Sentry.
Suddenly, you hear the magical sound. You sigh in relief as the Doctor exits the TARDIS. "Oh, I'm so glad you're here! Remember me? Think you can give me a lift?"
He shakes his head. "Sorry, my boy, but everything you've done has led to this. Fixed point in time and such. I'm just here for the hors d'oeuvres." He grabs a tray of food and leaves.
A voice clears it's throat in a maniacal way in your head. So. Want my help yet?
Fanbug over the Wonderbolts while getting beaten up by them.
At one point you get knocked into the bar when you remember that your coat is fireproof. You quickly make a pair of Molotov Cocktails as the ponies get closer and you jump out from behind the bar and yell "Flame on!" before smashing the bottles against yourself to set yourself on fire.
You spot the cowardly gardener from before and use your Nightmare Cloak tail to throw a pony at him.
Use the"You shall not pass!" staff.
You've obviously outnumbered, perhaps a focus on area attacks can help you out (something like throwing and knocking ponies into each other or the FUS RO DAH)
Twilight, Cadance, Shining, and Celestia manage to restrain you with their combined magic, but a comment by Blueblood causes you to let out a piercing monstrous scream (which causes everypony at the gala except Celestia (who's wincing) to grab their ears in pain) which breaks their concentration and you take on that dangerous form from the climax of the fight with the Diamond Dogs.
Appleloosa is best "evil" plot because it succeeded
I get the feeling this fight scene might be a two-parter.
Anyway, here's an idea for an ending (to the scene):
When the dust settles, only three beings are left standing. Princess Celestia stands tall, panting from the exertion of the battle. Her coat is stained with gray from the ashes of the devastation.
You pull yourself up from the ground with Nightshade by your side. "I don't suppose... *hah*... since we're the only ones still conscious... *oh sweet sapphire my lungs are trying to kill me*... you want to talk this over?"
She stares at you with a look that would freeze fire. "That... was the most fun I've had in over a thousand years."
Silence reigns. Nightshade coughs. "Well, if you two are done with the hitting, a little dragon mentioned a donut shop nearby."
You nod. "That might be a good place to talk. There would be less... uh, bodies. What do you say, Princess?"
She smiles. "That would be delightful."
okay so once your done beating the hell out of Blueblood you see your surrounded by guards(most of them are cowering in fear) but the main 6 and Celestia are standing strong, you shout (in the RCV) "Look a distraction" sadly once again it doesn't work. Then you have a better idea and shout (in the RCV) "LOOK A BETTER DISTRACTION!!!" and it works even with there ears covered!.
_________Badass Bugze initiate also, the rating in this Everyone, right? Then I might have to hold back a little._________
The world is full of darns. Life is essentially the darns taken. And the Mind is made of darns to give. Darrns are magic. Darns are emotion. Darns means life. That's the principle of the reality that you live in, Bugze. Changlings wouldn't exist without this condition, they wouldn't have any emotions to eat otherwise. How else would bad luck such as yours exist? How else would there be so many screw-ups in your life?
By the relevance of this principle, you know that you have half a mind to mess up this Royal Pain-in-the-arse, Blueblood. And by Lords you plan on having a serious/careful talk with your daughter about this law of life now that she knows some curse words, well, accidently.
"Outta the way, everyling, not unless you want to get hurt along with this SNOB!" you yelled pointing at Blueblood. You would add curse words along with his name, but you only save those curses to Lady Luck herself. This stuck-up waste of space isn't worth the verbal energy, yet. Everypony backed away as you stomped towards the pony who's holding your daughter captive, the silhouette of your emotions giving physical form on your back.
"It's everyPONY!" You recognized the voice of the offending grammar nazi: Purple Sparklebutt... You'd feel fucked upon realizing that, but you don't care though. What matters is your daughter.
"I don't car— You know what? EveryONE! I'm not stooping down your level you angel-pretending bigots!" You swore, somewhere, in the far background, a fellow griffon cook uttered a low "thank you!" upon hearing that.
However, a certain nightly Princess landed in front of you and shouted, "Halt, hooded scum! Thou shall not pas—" There's not enough fear in you to hesitate rearing back your hoof when you saw who it was. You didn't see her as Princess Luna, mistress of the Night. You saw her as an obstacle. Energy built up in your hoof, and you yelled, "FALCON PUNCH!" and as your hoof and her face made contact. You didn't retract you hoof, but pushed THROUGH which in turn flung her away.
The Princess Luna skid across the floor and crashed through the doorway that led to the Animal Sanctuary.
Upon reaching Blueblood, well, do something awesome. As long as he's still conscious for more pain.
Shining Armor conjured a shield around you, trapping you inside. "That's as far as you'll—" A super powered punch later, you broke— no, shatterred the barrier around you. "...go?"
"You think that'll stop me?! Us changlings popped your biggest bubble back in your wedding!"
A ring of fire formed right when you said that. You quickly grabbed Nightshade and jumped out before the space you were in exploded in flames! In mid air, you saw Celestia's horn glow from up above fired a Devastation Beam right at you! You pulled up a shield but blew up on impact. Luckily, the resulting recoil blew the both of you out of the way, and the floor the beam hit melted, which you're pretty sure shouldn't be easy. After making sure your filly was okay, you looked up and saw the furious look in Celestia's eyes. Right, punched her sister. Things are about to get serious.
"Nightshade, sweetheart, go into your room," you said assuringly.
"O-okay, daddy."
Suddenly you felt compelled to duck— Woah! And a sharp point pierced the air where your head was! Your eyes followed the trajectory and saw whose holding it. Oh, what a surprise: you see Blueblood is back with, in telekinetic grasp, a fencing sword with malicious intent and blind rage in his eyes. His offensive stance seemingly in a practiced manner. Guess he's not all that of a pansy. But that doesn't mean he knew pain, at least, not yet.
"You're mine!" He chanced a few hits, but you easily dodged them. "You scandelas brute! Look what you did to my beautiful face!" You did, you saw how you didn't hit his bruised face hard enough. Another few failed swings, and you began to taunt him.
"You call that fighting? Hah! My grandpuggy is faster than you!"
"Hmmph! Unlike you barbarians, I learned how to fight better than your barbaric ways!" In an instant, he's right in front of you.
Caught by surprised, you barely evaded a few surprising fast lunges, and you found yourself backing up. Manning up, you ducked forward in mid-lunge and batted the fence with a hoof, and knocked him on his back. You were about to come in with a curbstomp, but a sudden weight pushed you to your sides, caused a few rolls, and into your backside. Skittles had joined the fight.
She's about to give your face a new one, but since you had advantage of weight, you pulled and ended with you being on top of her. But before you could pry her off of you, Applejack held you in a choke hold, then several royal guards came in and dog piled into you.
"Yer a lot stronger than ya look, fer a varmint!"
"Bring me his head!" bellowed Blueblood.
You felt your body being shuffled around until everything but your head was held by the many hooves of strong ponies, and Blueblood reared his fence for the decisive strike.
You heard some ponies shout "Wait!", but it was too late, the blade came down anyways. Your tentacle appendages lashed out in an explosive manner to let loose the dog-piling ponies' grip just before jerking your head away from nearly being stabbed by Blueblood, and again with more force to shake all the ponies and into the air. Finally, you "Fos Ro Dah!"ed, and everyone was blown back even further!
Not only that, but it also sailed Blueblood all the way across the room, and then physics somehow allowed him to bounce off the wall and back towards you as he flailed. You took the chance. With a mighty super-jump that left cracks on the floor in your wake, you "Shoryuken"ed right into his balls, launching him right into the ceiling. He didn't fall back down, instead, he stayed stuck there, his top half dug deep within.
You find yourself facing some angry royal guards, angry Flash Sentry, the angry Mane 6(5?), angry Shining Armor, and an angry Celestia (and maybe more, if 4850527's suggestion with all his enemies are coming, except Trixie.) all at once. Soon, it'll include Luna when she comes back up from your punch. You doubt even your strongest attacks could subdue the Princess of the Night, let alone ALL the ponies your currently fighting without killing them!
(epic fight scene later)
You put back on your hood and scrammed after leaving behind a threatening, er, threat. Unbeknownst to you, in the rubbled remains and ruins of the Grand Galloping Gala, another amazing event occurred just as you left.
...bits of rubble fell from above, and then came down the screaming Equestrian Prince himself, who dived flank first into an untouched, suspicious cake. As for the equally suspicious unicorn pony inside the cake, well, let's just say his horn pierced the heavens, and made it scream a sound that's soothing to every Blueblood hater out there.
You just kept on running. You could only guess which parts he landed on.
______________________
Okay, I figured out how to channel my poetic self to drive myself to write words!
And look how long that is! 
Left a few bits out just so a few others could fill it.
4850894 Awesome
but...
Princess Luna hates the GGG even more than her sister and eagerly jumped at the first opportunity to avoid it and thus is out of the country during the Gala
4850793
Got any ideas for the GGG free-for-all (see "Minds Eye"'s first comment)? This IS the season finale so we need to make this BIG.
4852008 Awesome, but
In canon, Trixie hates Twilight for beating the Ursa Minor and blames her for making Trixie look like a fool. In this story, it's Bugze who did that so Twilight has no reason to hate (or even acknowledge) Twilight's existence
Your so angry that your stare at Blueblood with such pure rage that you some how set him on fire.
4850930 Right, then I shall replace her with either Celestia or Sparkles. Wish I could add more, but I've suffered burnout and sugar crashes, and I'm sure DWC had quite a load from me already.
I made the suggestion with the thought that every pony would fight each other as much as Bugze. So with that in mind...
- Braeburn and Applejack try to buck each other, but their hooves hit and send a shockwave through the hall.
- The buffalo chief stampedes through the diamond dogs like a bowling ball.
- Spot surrenders to the fandom whispers and tries to Starscream Flash Sentry.
- Trixie manages to knock-out Twilight Sparkle, but she does it right in front of Shining Armor, who blasts her into next week.
"No. I can handle it."
I think that these ideas should all be combined. Also, Bugze should attack Blueblood by lifting him up with the darkness-tendrils and hitting him with a point-blank Fus Roh Dah.
Edit: First, I just realized it didn't transfer italics or anything. Second, the sentence after the first quote is his response to the Evil Voice.
Get him. Just get him. Rescue Nightshade. Just don't kill or permanently injure the (bad word). Then ban him from your server on Minecraft (being a spoiled royal nephew as the reason). And remember that the alicorns aren't deities. Otherwise, Celestia, Luna, and Cadence would have been on to you and your life story, and you wouldn't be in this mess in the first place.
As for 'evil,' well now... I'd have to say either the fake attempt to takeover Appleoosa (the attempt to stop the war) or the claim (false) that he'd attached some kind of torture/kill collars on the captured Guards.
Oh hey, new chapter. *reads it* Blueballs is gonna WHAT to Nightshade!?!
Oh nice, we get to do another epic fight scene, right on. I wonder what - *scrolls down to the comments and reads through them*
... Wow I got here really late didn't I?
Well I... guess you fellows have this one handled, soooooo. I guess I'll just drop off some (really ripped off) one-liners. Yeah.
"Let's see if your blood really is blue."
"I'm gonna put my Black-Knight sword into your Gaping Dragon!"
"I'm so happy to see you, I could just rip out your intestines and strangle you with them."
"I have a thing for guys like you... IT'S CALLED PAIN!"
"I have half a mind to beat you senseless... and the other half agrees!"
"Nothing could keep you safe from me, not even I could keep you safe from me!"
*Bugzy grabs a pineapple and lights it on fire* "If we could pull your head out of your arse, we'd have room to fit this in!"
"I came here to kick flank and give a buck. And I'm all out of bucks to give."
"You know what rhymes with Hooded Offender? Death!" (Twilight and Zecora: No it doesn't.) "Shut up you two!"
And finally a couple of quotes from How to be a gentlecolt:
"I intend to forcibly remove your ocular units and fornicate with your cranium." (I'm pretty sure you all know what this one means)
"I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request." (No)
Okay... I feel slightly less useless now.
You charge forward with the burning fury of supernova stars...!
And slip onto your face from pastries all over the floor...
If you can find a place to put this It would make me so happy.
CELESTIA THE PRANK GODESS DEEMS THIS MOMENT APROPRIATE TO JUMP OUT OF A NEARBY CAKE WITH A FACE THAT SCREAMS "MAD PRANKING GENIUS." SHE IS COMPLETELY COVERED, HEAD TO HOOF, WITH JOY BUZZERS, AND CHARGES AT YOU. YOU JUMP OUT OF THE WAY AND SHE COLIDES WITH BLUEBLOOD. YOU ESCAPE IN THE RESULTING CHAOS.
ALSO YOU RESCUE NIGHTSHADE
I'm back, baby.
WAAAAAA, does season finale mean end if the line forever? Or does it mean your going to make more. Either way I think I might be addicted to this story. Anyone know a good rehab place?
4850930
Sorry, took me awhile to find this. Saw that you replied to one of my comments, but then I saw one of yours deleted.
True, but it's a brawl. Crazy things happen. There's no reason for Braeburn and AJ to attack each other, either. And since I'm commenting, might as well make one more suggestion.
Play this during the fight, and I will be laughing.
4855166 Don't worry my friend. This is just the end of the season, but the story of Bugze the changeling will continue...
4855247 YEEEEEES
4849330 I'm I the only one who doesn't see MY story on the featured list, yet multiple people keep telling me that it was?
4855717
When I see it, it's one of the bottom three spots. I think they're reserved for recently updated stories, so they can change more frequently that the top spots.
4855247
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCQc_Hb29aw#t=337
my reaction to seeing that!
YEEEES
Woohoo!! Go Nightshade!!!
Blueblood messed up.