The Last Laugh

by Zurvan

The Last Laugh

The Last Laugh
by: Zurvan

Pinkie Pie was mad, how dare this pony, this Cheese Sandwich barge into town and take her party away from her. True it was technically Rainbow Dash’s birthaversary party, so it was her party, but Pinkie was suppose to plan it. Now this stallion, claiming to be a ‘super-duper-party-pony’ unlike any other was stealing her thunder. How dare he! That’s fine she knew how to deal with ponies like that, she’s done it before, with a sadistic grin she calmly goes to her room in Sugarcube Corner and gets her saddlebags and calmly starts packing the things she’ll need. As she’s packing she hears a knock at the door.

“Pinkie, are you in there?” Twilight asks.

Pinkie comes down and opens the door and with her best acting puts on a huge grin. “Hey Twilight.”

“Why aren’t you helping Cheese Sandwich with Rainbow Dash’s birthaversary party?”

“I thought it’d be nice to let someone else plan this one, I mean he did come to town just for the party.”

“I’m sure he could use your help Pinkie.”

“Nah, I think he’s got it under control. I’ll see you at the party. I’m telling you, it’ll be completely different experience for me. I’ll get to enjoy a party I didn’t plan for once.”

“Well… if you’re sure.”

“It’ll be fine Twilight, you’ll see.”

“Okay then,” Twilight says then heads off.

As soon as Twilight is out of earshot Pinkie’s happy grin becomes a sinister grin. “Good, she suspects nothing!”

Rainbow’s party goes off without a hitch and soon she’s flying near Cheese Sandwich. “Thanks for the party Cheese, it was pretty awesome.”

“Was it epic?” Cheese asks.

“ Feels like it was missing something to be at that level Cheese, but it was close.”

“Well then,” Cheese says as he puts on his hat. “My work here is done.” With that he starts walking off.

What nobody sees is Pinkie Pie watching him discreetly from some trees nearby, and after she’s sure nobody is watching she follows him, and quickly catches up to him. “Wait! Cheese!” She calls out.

Cheese turns to the voice and sees Pinkie Pie approach him. “Oh hey Pinkie, I’ve been looking for you.”

“That’s great! Cause I have a picnic set up just for the two of us.” Pinkie says.

“Just us?” Cheese asks.

“Yeah, I wanted to thank you for planning Rainbow’s birthaversary bash.” Pinkie says.

“It’s just what I do.”

“Come on then.” Pinkie says and begins to bounce off. Cheese looks at the empty road ahead of him, then back to the bouncing mare and shrugs for a second before deciding to follow her. They arrive at a spot that Pinkie has already set up, a checkered blanket lays on the ground. On top of the blanket is a picnic basket, some food is already laid out on the blanket, and a pitcher of what appears to be apple cider, with two glasses already poured. Pinkie sits down on the blanket, her saddlebags slipping off her back and she grabs one of the glasses of cider and drinks some. “Delicious.”

“This does look good.” Cheese admits as she sits by the other glass and drinks some.

“Sandwich?” Pinkie asks pushing a sandwich in his direction.

“Sure.” Cheese says as she takes the sandwich and takes a big bite, only to start coughing, he quickly grabs his cider and downs it. “That’s spicy!”

“I know, aren’t ghost pepper’s the best?” Pinkie grins as she carefully pours Cheese another glass and he downs that one, then another after that, Cheese drops the glass after the third glass of cider. “Something the matter?” Pinkie asks with a grin.

“What’s in this cider?” Cheese asks. “I don’t feel so good.”

“I drugged it so you wouldn’t be able to resist.” Pinkie says as she gets up and rummages through her bag. “There can only be ONE super-duper-party-pony, and that pony will be me!” Pinkie exclaims then pulls her head out of her saddlebags, a large butcher knife grasped in her teeth.

“Now Pinkie,” Cheese says as his legs give out from the drugged cider. “There’s no need in don’t anything rash.”

Pinkie puts the knife down. “It’s too late for that Cheese Sandwich, nobody takes a party away from Pinkamena Diane Pie!” She grabs the knife firmly in her teeth and approaches Cheese.

“Pinkie listen..” Cheese manages to get out before Pinkie quickly and efficiently cuts his throat. She then calmly cleans the knife off before putting it in her bag. Then puts the food and cider back in the basket, and the basket in her saddlebags before removing her saddlebags from the blanket. She then carefully folds the blanket up around Cheese’s body and put on her saddlebags before effortlessly lifting the makeshift bag up and carrying it a little more off the road. There she has a large pot set up with a good amount of wood under it, with some effort she tosses the ‘bag’ into the kettle. Using the supplies in her bag she lights the fire, and in no time at all she has a roaring fire going under the kettle, and soon enough the water starts to boil. As it does she carefully uses a branch to remove the blanket from the pot, and toss it into the fire. The water on it making a horrible hiss, but the heat of the fire drying it up and quickly burning it to ashes. Pinkie boils Cheese’s body. laughing the entire time, until all the meat falls off the bones. Then she allows it to cool. She takes the bones and some special rocks that Maud had sent her and pulverizes the bones into dust. She then carefully takes the ‘meat’ out of the pot and places it in some butcher paper, wraps it up and marks it: “Gilda”. Before putting postage on it and drops it off at the nearest mailbox.

Nopony should ever challenge the position of the element of laughter, if they do the will find out that Pinkie always gets the last laugh.

Author's Note:

Forgive me for writing this, it's been in my head since I've seen the episode. I finally couldn't sleep until I had it written down. Wrote in an hour, and very quickly self-edited. Let me know if you see any glaring errors.

Comments

[Dementia Ravenmane]

clawingmywaytothetop.files.wordpress.com/2013/07/brian-williams-donald-trump-meme-generator-so-that-happened-4ef0fe.jpg

I mean, it felt like it lacked buildup. It ended up being really anticlimactic and rushed.

I would recommend fleshing it out and getting a proper editor+proofreader.

[Zurvan]

4186338

yeah, unfortunately I was writing it in the middle of the night while half-asleep, and I wasn't entirely sure where I was going with it until I wrote it out, and well... this is what came out. Thanks for advice, not sure how I'd go about using it, but thank you.

[Umachan]

4186430
Then you shouldn't have completed it or published it.

By all means write when you feel the need but give yourself a day to look it over and see where you went wrong and where it can be improved.

The idea behind it isn't bad but you're missing the buildup and the climax comes way too quickly. Why not have this as a slow buildup. First it's Rainbow Dash and Pinkie is a little put out but isn't too upset. She's actually enjoying some other pony's party and thinks that maybe she can take some pointers from him. But then he pulls this on her again. And again, And again. And soon it's Cheese Sandwich that people think is the party pony of Ponyville and he's the first one they go to when a party needs to be set up. The last straw being when Mayor Mare asks him to set up some grand event that Pinkie Pie had been looking forward to doing.

Then she goes nuts and plans her revenge. But she takes it slowly. Worming her way into Cheese Sandwich's confidence and offering her serivices. Making herself more and more part of the preparations until finally when the moment is right she strikes and takes him out. Her madness now complete she finishes the decorations and when everypony shows up they're sickened and disgusted by what they see. The auditorium is festooned with the remains of Cheese Sandwich. His bowels are the streamers. His organs are the balloons. His teeth and hair are now the confetti that she shoots out of her party cannon.

Pinkie is finally led away, completely mad and jibbering about how wonderful a party it was and how she really needs to do it again. The next day we find the doctors tasked with curing her dead and scattered across the room like so many decorations and scrawled in blood on the wall, "Where's the next party?".

[Zurvan]

4186888

Wow! That's an absolutely epic idea! Now my little venture into Pinkie's mind seems inadequate. I'm really starting to rethink my story, maybe I should just scrap the idea.

[FicusCat]

4186888

The next day we find the doctors tasked with curing her dead and scattered across the room like so many decorations and scrawled in blood on the wall, "Where's the next party?".

Ah, the good old days of constant partying ...

[Commissar Holt]

she kills him.

[Zurvan]

4189926

yeah, that's about the half of it

[AceCombat101fan]

4189962 I like your story. Why does it have down votes?

[Zurvan]

4242771

Probably cause it could've been better, that seems to be what most of the comments said. I appreciate you enjoying the story, especially since I wrote it in the span of something close to an hour.

[AceCombat101fan]

4245174 I know how it feels. My story Ace Combat: Divided Feelings was getting down votes because some people thought it could of been better. Want to check it out?

[Zurvan]

4245202

Yeah, I'll read the stories it's a sequel to first, then read it, sounds interesting

[Somber Concerto]

Great story but not enough gore to qualify as mature. Also, it's cool that not only did you come up with the title long before that episode aired, but they both have something to do with Cheese Sandwich. I wonder if someone at Hasbro saw this.

[Zurvan]

10309493

Thanks for letting me know. When I made the story I wasn't sure what the limits where. I'll change the rating when I get a chance.

I didn't even think about the title! That's so true! I wonder if I did inspire someone now