Standards of Courtship

by Cogneato Switch

Entertainment

On the blue floor of the kitchen at Carousel Boutique, Rarity’s white cat raised a paw and scratched at her favorite toy mouse. Gummy the toothless alligator stood nearby, staring idly. At the table in the corner, Rarity and Pinkie Pie sat with dainty floral teacups and saucers. Bumbleberry, still wearing the Soubrette maid outfit, began brewing tea at Rarity's request.

"How was Opalesence?" Rarity asked casually. "Not too much trouble, I hope?"

"They were great together!" Pinkie replied. "Gummy didn't complain at all."

Bumbleberry wondered how gummy might complain, but didn't dwell on it long. Soon he stepped up to the table wheeling a tea caddy with a silver tray, teapot, creamer, and sugar dish.

“We have some very nice honey raspberry tea for this evening.” His voice carried an air of faux sophistication. “It has a tart flavor with a touch of sweetness, tantalizing to the senses.” He delicately poured the tea.

“My my!” Rarity mused. “I didn’t know you knew so much about tea!”

“Just berry teas, really.” He smiled bashfully but still felt proud of her compliment. He had decided that, rather than be embarrassed of whatever is to come, he would just play along. He found it quite enjoyable.

“Sugar?” He looked at Rarity.

“No thank you.”

“Miss Pinkie Pie?”

“Four lumps, please!” Both Rarity and Bumbleberry looked at her incredulously. “I love sugar!” she explained.

Bumbleberry dutifully scooped four lumps of sugar into her cup. “Cream?” he asked.

“No thank you,” Rarity said calmly.

“Ye-” Pinkie Pie opened her mouth to respond but Rarity glared at her, “no, I mean.” She smiled weakly.

Bumbleberry wheeled the caddy away and began plateing the pastries. Rarity levitated the teacup and sipped gently, being careful to make only a delicate drinking sound. Pinkie Pie grabbed her cup with two hooves and slurped it down loudly. Rarity shook her head.

Bumbleberry returned and skillfully held a pair of tongs in one hoof and a basket of pastries in the other. “Scone?” he asked.

Both mares nodded and he gave them each one. He then picked up the teapot and refilled their drinks, adding sugar as needed.

“Mmmm!” Rarity said, biting into the scone. “These are delicious!”

“It’s my mother’s special recipe,” the Bumble pony explained. “We would make all sorts of flavored scones. These happen to be mixed berry.”

"The only recipe my parents taught me was for Rock Pie," Pinkie chimed, with a mouthful of scone. "But who wants to eat that?"

“Well these are very good," Rarity continued. "Your mother taught you well.” He struck a proud pose. “Bumbleberry, would you be a dear and get us some butter?”

“Of course, Miss Rarity!” he bowed as he stepped away from the table and towards the refrigerator.

"You throw the best tea parties!" Pinkie cheered. Coming from Pinkie, this was quite the compliment.

Bumbleberry returned with the butter. “May I spread it on your scone, Miss Rarity?” He smiled weakly.

“Yes you may.” She nodded, taking another sip of tea.

“So you two are courting now?” Pinkie Pie inquired suddenly.

Rarity spat out her drink. “What are you talking about?” she asked, innocently.

“Duh, it’s obvious!” Pinkie pointed at Bumbleberry. “He's been serving you for the entire party.”

Bumbleberry’s cheeks turned red, but he said nothing.

“But,” Rarity stammered, “he’s serving both of us. It wouldn’t be odd if we were at a restaurant!”

Pinkie shook her head, “but we’re not at a restaurant, we’re at a party! And you’re the one asking him to serve us. If you ask him to serve you at a party, that means you're courting, ” she concluded. She put her hoof on her chin. “But isn’t it rude to host a party and then court the guests?”

Rarity and Bumbleberry looked at each other, embarrassed. “I suppose it is.” she admitted.

“Don’t worry, I won’t judge!” Pinkie winked.

“But,” she asked, looking at Pinkie, “how did you know? You don’t seem like the kind of pony who would keep up with courtship rituals.”

“Well I am a professional party thrower!” she declared. “And I saw the Standards Of Courtship on the table when I walked in. It was one of the few books my parents gave me when I moved to the city. ”

Rarity stared at her slack jawed, but then nodded with understanding.

Pinkie took a bite of her scone. “So, are you two courting?” she asked with a mouthful.

Rarity looked down with embarrassment, putting her hoof behind her head. “Well, it’s just been today” she began. “Bumbleberry ran into me at the market. He felt strange and we think he may be in heat. Twilight's books say he is in danger of committing unspeakable crimes against mares.”

Pinkie Pie frowned. “That’s bad,” she commented.

“Yes, well, courting him seems to be the only thing that keeps him sane. Isn’t that right?” she asked Bumbleberry. He nodded enthusiastically. “So what else can I do but court him? He’s not a bad stallion anyway.” She nudged him gently. “He’s been very helpful.”

“That’s great!” Pinkie smiled gleefully. She then shoved the rest of her scone into her mouth and stood up from the table. She spoke while still chewing, “thank you Rarity for hosting this tea party, and thank you Bumbleberry for the tasty scone!” She stretched her hoofs to the ceiling, giving a big yawn. “It’s way past my bedtime. I need to go home.”

“Of course!” Rarity jumped up from the table. “I’ll see you to the door. Bumbleberry, could you clean up in here?” she asked.

“Yes ma’am!” He began gathering the dishes onto the caddy.

“Come on, Gummy!” she said, grabbing her pet alligator by the neck and placing him on her back. “It’s time to go.”

Rarity walked Pinkie to the door and soon they were alone again, save for Opalescence. She looked at Bumbleberry in his ridiculous outfit. “Why don’t we take that off of you? It’s served its purpose.”

He nodded in agreement.

***

Soon, Bumbleberry stepped out of the dressing room, naked once again. Rarity put the outfit to one side and faced him.

“So how are you feeling?” she asked.

“I’m feeling a lot better. Much more like myself than I have all day.”

“Are you sure?” She tossed her hair seductively. Both ponies waited for the tell-tale signs of Bumbleberry’s insatiable lust: the longing eyes, the watering mouth, the rush of anxiety; but none of it came. He blinked in shock. The urge was gone.

“Yes, I feel fine,” he said hesitantly. It slowly occurred to him what that meant. He was fine! No more inappropriate behavior, no more fear of losing his job, and no condemning himself to a life without mares. “In fact, I feel great!” Elated, he smiled.

“Wonderful!” She was exuberant. “I’m so happy you’re cured! I have to admit I was worried about how much longer this would go on. I’m absolutely exhausted”

The fuchsia pony frowned. “I’m sorry I was so much trouble.”

“It was no trouble, Bumbleberry,” she asserted. “It’s just been such a long day and I’m ready for bed.” She stretched her hooves up and yawned.

“Of course! I need to be getting back to the farm anyway. We start bright and early tomorrow.” He looked into the tailor’s eyes. “Thank you, Rarity, for everything.”

“You’re welcome!”

Bumbleberry walked towards the door.

“Oh, and Bumbleberry?” Rarity called, matter-of-factly.

He spun around. “Yes?”

She levitated a bolt of fabric. “Would you be free some time to help me dye this material? I think it would look wonderful in a light strawberry color.” She grinned hopefully.

The stallion took the hint and smiled. “Yes, I would love to help. Maybe I can come back on Wednesday?”

“That would be lovely.”

Bumbleberry nodded and stepped out the door.

Comments

[F-22brony]

Bravo! Twas a fantastic read, with a happy ending, implying things n' such. I didn't notice a single spelling error of any kind. In that sense it was flawless. My only nit-pick, is the noticable difference between the longevity of the first 3 chapters vs the rest. The beginning seems to be slower, and more thorough, but it seems like near the end, you sort-of ran out of ideas, or got tired. It doesn't take away from the enjoyability of the story, just something I noticed. (But dont go writing 5000+ word chapters in future fics, unless it's an adventure).
Over-all, 9/10, for being consistently interesting, having fantastic amounts of sensory detail, and not a single grammatical error I noticed, but the longevity isn't consistent throughout the fic.
My personal advice: Dont take me saying the chapters aren't long enough as an excuse to put in pointless words (almost none are useless, but it's possible), the sensory detail in everything outside the character was near perfect, including describing the physical aspects of him. I would recommend describing his actions, tone of voice, etc. But not overloading the reader, like describing how 10 consecutive footsteps sound (you didn't do that).
Thats my critique, sorry for the huge read, I'm sure most will tl;dr this!
Have a nice day/night/morning! (also, this should stay in this form, and use this advice on future fics, not nessarily editing this one).

[Cogneato Switch]

3862833
Ha, I did get tired. I've reviewed this story more times than I'd like. I shall try to word-level the chapters more in the future.

Thank you so much for commenting!

[F-22brony]

3871364
Alright, thats just a nit-pick of mine^^ but thank you for considering my feedback! It's great to actually have input that matters. And isn't considered annoying. Good luck on future fics, and I saw that you said on a blog post that you were only going to make one shots? that doesn't sound like a terrible idea, haha. Good luck with that!

[Cogneato Switch]

3883005
I totally have other stories posted, if you're interested in reading them!

[F-22brony]

3883285
I think I might have a look.