Lower Case came to Ponyville a jaded stallion intent on finding a quiet place to craft his magnum opus, free of the burdens and strife of life in Manehattan. What he did not intend to find was an elegant young mare willing to open her world of friendship and creativity to him. What he did not intend was for her to open his eyes to the life he'd been hiding from.
What he never dreamed was that she would actually admire him for the stallion he truly is.
Please be aware of spoilers in the comments.
Chapters (4)
Ooooooo.
And it starts with a bang, too. Lower Case seems like a decent enough pony, and already has his eyes on Rarity.
You certainly have my attention, and the wait seems to have been worth it.
~Skeeter The Lurker
What's this? A Rarity shipfic that actually makes me want to read more? You've got a winner here, friend.
Already on a first date? Quick man...
Nice touch with the various author names, they fit quite well.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Whoa.
Something's off with that...
Still, he was doing so good...
~Skeeter The Lurker
I had a feeling.
I had a hunch.
I was almost sure he was the author of them, but didn't want to say it...
Nice twist with that bit.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Oh, the poor, unsuspecting sod...
being put to the Sweetie test is unnecessarily cruel. Let's just hope it will be ONLY Sweetie, and the rest of CMC will not drop by...
This time
Ah, clean prose and a touch of metafiction in the proper acceptation of the term, and a methodical, deliberate pace; this will do nicely. Yes, I want more of this. You've hooked a reader, good sir.
Such banter at the end! I really enjoyed that. And 'Oscolt Wilde', eh? Rarity has good taste if he's anything like my favorite author and playwright from our world. Hope he didn't end up a penniless drunk in Prance...
Anywho, next chapter.
tha was unexpected and abit sad
Dinner for two on cloud nine...
No, wait, dinner for one on cloud six or five.
I'm not sure what happened at the end, but his... rustiness showed in spades throughout. I can relate; I often stick my hoof... er, foot in my mouth.
Onto the next chapter with apprehension. Hope the ship doesn't sink before it's set sail.
The plot thickens! I did not see that coming! Well, I saw the second twist coming, but not the first. Very nice nested revelation. Will be waiting for more!
3590629
Neither did Lower Case.
3590652
Well played.
3590652 I get it, cos he's blind... Wow i am a horrible person for killing that joke.
Also, I really fear for Lower Case's safety with Sweetie Belle and the CMC. God knows what they'll be up to. (DUN DUN DUNNN!!!)
That ending was really was amazing and I kind of knew how it would turn out
Oh, now that is such a great comment. I suddenly felt like I was watching an old black-and-white classic.
Very nice, Rares.
The dialog in this story is just a treat to read.
Youch, and it was going so moderately well.
Well now, that explains quite a few things. Not too surprised about which series he is the author of, but his condition was a surprise that makes sense.
Also, interesting detail about Vinyl.
When they kept mentioning the Golden Goose and author of something else, I knew he wrote daring do. I did not see the blind twist though. Makes sense why he was sensitive to the perfume and Pinkie would drive a blind man even more crazy, especially if he didn't hear her coming and she appeared somewhere else.
Well played my friend, very well played.
You got me with the Daring Do revelation, but I was pretty sure by the end of the first chapter that Lower Case was blind. Color was conspicuously absent in all the descriptions, especially when he meets Pinkie Pie. Also, he describes the shape of the coffee shop sign, not what the sign says.
Excellent work, I've really enjoyed just about everything about this.
Really lovely story. I like that you narrowed down how many characters that appeared instead of crowbaring in the entire mane 6 (but still mentioned them). I can never get used to stories doing that, even really good ones; it just feels obtrusive. You can almost feel the author's presence trying to mingle with them, but I digress.
I read this from start to finish, which I don't do often. Lower Case is a challenged pony in many ways and has probably dealt with numerous affective disorders for a long time. He's interesting and keeps the story flowing pretty steady, though he can be internally wordy at times. I'm also not really sure if Rarity would have originally paid as much attention to him as the story describes, but I'll let it go just because it works well.
Anyway, great job!
props another story well done
. thats another story of yours on my favorite list
. AND KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!
Interesting. So, this chap is, if I have read this correctly, blind, and is using some form of echo-location spell in order to see his way around. His other senses also seem to be used to a greater degree than in other ponies, although whether their sensitivity is enhanced by magic or simply down to practice is not yet clear.
Keep going, shall read.
I like it!
So, he uses a special spell that enhances all his senses, I did consider that.
Didn't see Daring Do coming, though.
Nice.
You sir, have me hooked! Can't wait for more.
Master yourself, master the enemy. Im sorry, I couldnt resist. But uh... yeah. Dem plot twists. Wow.
Great crafting of prose, a perfect pace of development, and an interesting character; All the ingredients of a fantastic story if I ever saw them!
While I did, of course, see Lower Case's blindness coming (a very intriguing plot point, by the way! You handled the hints perfectly), the Daring Do twist caught me utterly off-guard. Bravo, PropMaster!
3747757
Glad you've enjoyed it. The double plot twist has been enjoyable, because usually one of them slipped by every reader, so by Chapter 4 everyone is hit by a pleasant surprise!
well now I won't be able to rest before I know exactly why all that happened.
off to the next chapter!
double plot twist was great indeed - I thought about his blindness, but the Daring Do... really clever of you to do the double twist.
now just to patiently wait for more
Really, Really great story, I hope you post additional chapters soon!
The prose is enough to tantalize the reader into another world, where everything feels as vivid as the words their attached to. The pacing is incredible, in where, so much is being covered in so short a time, yet it all feels so realistic. The characters are on-point, and it's like their dialogue is taken directly from the show, and a richer element is added to it.
While I know this tale will never see its end, I love what I have read thus far. If I may go so far as to ask, how did you achieve this level of prose? And do you have any tips for us newbie writers?
7598954 Wow, thank you. This story is... kind of done? I had an objective when I set out with it (writing challenge: write from a blind character's perspective, but be subtle about it), and now that I completed that objective, I'm pretty happy with the story. That said, it's open ended, and I want to leave myself room for adding more if I someday want to come back to this. I had the thought of carrying this story into a deeper, more adult/more mature and realistic kind of relationship than those usually explored in fics, and someday I'll hopefully do that.
As for the prose? Conscious effort. It's easy to write a character with sight, because you get to state obvious things and have them interact with the world around them in a way we all understand. With a character that was essentially "blind" outside of a Daredevil-esque spell that allows him to percieve the general shape of things in front of him, I had to rely heavily on the other senses to write the story and fill out the details. Rarity never is noticed for her purple hair, but for her perfume and voice. Sugarcube corner is a chaotic riot of noise and overwhelming smells. These are details that tend to be lost, but must be used when a character's senses are reduced by the one that we tend to focus on the most. Basically, Lower Case forced me to be less lazy with descriptions. Rarity changes from a white mare with a purple, perfect mane to something more ephemeral and sensual.
As for tips: Read. Read good stories, and pay attention to what's being written. Pay attention to how it is written. And then write a lot. Write all the time. I'm bad at this, everyone is, but honing your ability is about practice and understanding the tools you have. Find those favorite authors and read what they write, and don't be afraid to steal techniques you find. Don't write exactly what they write, but do, at the same time. Let me put it this way: It's plagarism if you paint the Mona Lisa, but when you're just using the same brush stroke technique, it's just a tool. Oya?
7600775 Thank you
7600775
I was checking comments to see if the story is not dead (quite a lot of nice unfinished stories here on fimfic which never will be finished - so need to be careful) and read your comment.
I was happy to find that the story is basically complete - I read it after that and really liked. But isn't your mention of blind main character kind of spoilery ? Could you please put it in 'spoiler' tag ?
I mean - I really liked the story as it was, but from context it looks like it you planned for reader to read the story without this knowledge. And it is probable that someone like me will stumble at it while looking for clues if author plans to continue the story or not.
Also I think it would be really good to mark it as complete until you get back to it and write sequel - many readers simply skip incomplete stories which did not update for a long time. And the story is really nice and deserves reader's attention :)
8138157 Unfortunately at this point, a lot of comments contain spoilers. I'm going to add a warning to the description.
Thanks for reading!
I don't get it.
8143422 Read on!
Ah. "Sound" of Diamonds. And the grayscale picture.
Nice one
8143489 There ya go! Now you got it.
And thanks for reading!
8143656
Uh, fyi, but I won't receive a notification from that earlier reply unless it's posted inside the same chapter.
I /think/ it's fixed in the future update, but who knows.
3630874
Tagged only because I agree, though it is confusing...he could tell Rarity narrowed her eyes?
I could buy hearing AJ tip her hat, but that part makes me wonder...