I Blame You

by Whitestrake

Adam Sandler is Always the Love Interest, Regardless of What Role he's Playing.

“It started tens of thousands of years ago; ponies, zebras, changelings, everything with hooves is a descendant of the original proto-equines that once roamed Equus.” Chrysalis rattled off her words like the beginning to an evolutionary biology lecture, something I was quite pleased by. The bound queen seemed to take notice, and a small nod passed between us as understanding took root. “With the advancement into intelligence came the inevitable rise of true war.”

“And this war brought the Deceiver to Equus?” Such an odd name for a planet, but Earth isn't really much better, I suppose. My question was legitimate in my own mind, and it was possible that any armed conflict involving the equines of this world would product magical fallout. Such interference and abundance of radiation may have contributed to the vast number of objects from across multiple universes appearing in the land.

“Not quite, but the changelings do credit him to the survival of our relatively young race.” Something didn't quite add up to me about that statement.

“Battle sparked mutation in your kind?” It was absurd, but I suppose stranger things had happened in our own history. The broodmother seemed to understand her mistake, and quickly corrected herself.

“We didn't actually start fighting until after the racial differentiation occurred.” That made much more sense, and Chrysalis took my approving nod as encouragement to continue. “And the Deceiver didn't show up until we had our backs against a wall.” At that point, the insectoid mare seemed to fly back to her own childhood, when she was first told the tale. It was something odd, I mean the sharing of two cultures, not the reliving the past thing. “His magic tossed our enemies aside and helped us carve out the Badlands as our own territory.”

“Hold up, you're telling me this guy had magic?” It was unlikely, unless he was from a universe that had magical humans or advanced technology that could easily be confused for sorcery. That narrowed it down to psionics and psykers from various bits of fiction, maybe toss in biotics for good measure, but I had a base to begin my investigation. That wasn't even counting wizards and shit.

“You're talking to an emotional vampire that can shift her form into whatever she wishes, and you draw the line at human magic?” While she raised a good point, I wasn't about to tell her so. Of course, she knew that I thought she both started and ended a debate with one sentence, so there wasn't really a point of denying besides keeping her from hearing me actually say it.

“Let's move on.” The quill had filled up about half a page, and it would have been able to fit much more had it not copied our tones of voice and added its own context where needed. Stupid thing, any voice recognition software could do its job without most of the hassle, but it would be just perfect if we had digital recorders instead. “What does the Deceiver have to do with the invasion?”

“He's been dead for longer than Celestia has been alive, even one as wise as the Deceiver couldn't foresee last week's events.” I have no way of knowing is the changeling was lying, she was a born illusionist and would be rather difficult to peg with anything. “The Grand Matron tasked me with the mission.”

“I'm sorry, who?” The fuck was she talking about? First the Deceiver and now someone with a title that just screams megalomaniacal cunt comes out of the woodwork.

“My mother, as well as the mother of the other nineteen queens that comprise the Swarm.” Twenty powerful beings under the leadership of a single person that had given rise to them, and was likely the most powerful of any changeling to currently walk the planet? That sounds oddly familiar... “I was given the all-important mission of setting the Deceiver's final prophecy in motion.”

“Let me guess, some bullshit about the changelings rising up and ruling Equus, and the Deceiver and his fellow men would lead the world into a new era of peace?” That was a little something I liked to call Standard Villain Plan #2 (aka the Scar Initiative).

“Actually, the Deceiver knew that more humans would come to Equus, and he knew that everything must be brought to light for this world to truly have peace.” She wasn't talking about the tense time between rival nations that never resulted in bloodshed, but actual peace. As much as I like the sound of utopia, many men had made the same claims in the past. “When our Swarm was powerful enough, a hive was to be sent out on a suicide mission, the warlike humans would be drawn to the Badlands for revenge.”

“And suddenly the Deceiver's technology is in human hands and it's up to them to protect everybody from themselves.” Chrysalis' eye bugged out a bit, almost like she didn't expect me to put the pieces together. Then again, I could have also been completely wrong about everything.

“Well, it he was more about helping others to achieve peace, rather than ruling over them.”

$%$%$%$%$%$%

Pinkie Pie was having a rather odd day, by Pinkie Standards, anyway. It was also night, but she was till referring to it as day for some reason, but that was beside the point. Jay had a new flamethrower, and Taylor had found somepony he could truly test himself against, but there had been littl involvement for the pink party pony. Even in the earlier days of their stay in Equestria, neither of them was too keen on attending their own Welcome-to-Ponyville Party. But, in time, Pinkie understood that they weren't from Equus, and therefore very unlikely to enjoy the local customs.

So, Pinkie brought a bit of human culture to Ponyville. The fifth surprise party she planned to welcome the two teens with was held inside Twilight's library, and she had done enough to cater to both of their needs. As soon as the Taylor stepped inside, a massive, green stallion charged the teen. Waaagh! Pinkie could still hear the fake battlecry the colt had shouted, she could also recall the strange anger that had come over the larger human. After dousing the berserk ape in frosting, it was easy to bring him around.

Jay had arrived half an hour later, and had been much harder to prepare for. Musical instruments seemed to be the best option, and Taylor had provided the ideas for clarinets. Apparently Jay hated clarinets and those that played them. It went without saying that the flautist hadn't enjoyed the notion, and there had been more than a few harsh words said over the fiasco. Followed by drinking punch and lots of laughter, so Pinkie had chalked it up to one of the many discrepancies in human and pony culture, and she loved it.

Which brought her to today, and the odd absence of both teens from, well, everywhere. Taylor was off somewhere inquiring or whatever the princesses had him doing, and Jay just about fell off the map. Pinkamena Diane Pie sighed in frustration, which was very out of character for her, but it wasn't like anything that happened was how it was meant to be. With universe so out of order, it was odd to keep tack of everything and everypony Pinkie was responsible for, and that included Equestria's newest humans.

Pinkie wondered if there was even a plot to follow.

Comments

[AnthonyD1123]

Beware! Methinks Pinkie might break into your computer so she can know what the hell is going on!

[Odd_Sarge]

1430567

[G S tol Kriaal]

would product magical fallout

Do you maybe mean "produce"?

it was odd to keep tack of everything

I think this should be "hard to keep track of"

[Time Squid]

1430567 Who says she hasn't already?

[StoryWeaver]

1430830 My wallpaper doesn't have any pink...balloons...or hyperactive pink party ponies yet so I don't think-

*pop*

...

Nevermind. Just, nevermind.

edit: Pinkie...Y U no like fourth wall?

[lolz anonymous]

almost never a plot to follow.

[Pen Brush]

1432010
ya...good luck with pinkie, noone can help you now until pinkie wants to leave, then you have to fix the fourth wall before anyone sees

[Raven Smite]

Not until Season 3, Pinks...

[DerpedRainbow]

Stupid humans, making the walls round.

[Rhodesm96]

Twenty powerful beings under the leadership of a single person that had given rise to them, and was likely the most powerful of any changeling to currently walk the planet? That sounds oddly familiar...

Yay, more 40k references!

[radiation_pony]

sorry pinkie but these humans dont get the refrence, 1 creator ruling over 20 demigods? Primarchs anypony?

[Razzy]

Oh come on, what about the "we just horribly murdered a few thousand sapient beings, sentencing them to inconceivable agony moments before they died and we don't give a flying fuck about it" party?

Cya
Raziel-chan