Tom Harlow always dreamed of being an astronaut as a kid, and now that he's finally going to space, he couldn't be more excited. However, when he takes his first walk out into space, he finds more than a pretty view of Earth and countless stars waiting for him.
He finds a pony.
Now, as Tom and fellow astronaut Eddie Rains are marooned on the space shuttle Skywalk with the alicorn princess, they decide to try to lead a normal life in space.
This story is an attempt at a Human story that isn't quite HiE, nor is it really PoE, if you understand.
Chapters (2)
its not a POE. Its a PILEO. (Pony in low Earth orbit!) adding to my read later simply because its 'modern' space travel!
I like it. CONTINUE!
I'm gonna date you so hard and then marry the shit out of you.
Anyway, good story.
Here's hoping luna can generate 02
I like it!
So, what shirts does Tom wear?
This chapter, I like it.
ANOTHER!
3800276 Depends. Is it for the papers?
3799983 Well, uh, okay. Thanks?
3800447 3799909 I'm hoping I can.
3800116 I've had an idea to solve that dilemma.
3799790 I've created an new genre, hooray!
This is novel, and starting off quite well; I look forward to seeing where you take it.
I wonder if Luna has anything to do with communications getting cut off?
now before anyone begins bullshitting about why luna can talk in space
3801336 …or because they're in a space shuttle?
3801340 maybe.........
3801243
Yep.
Aaaaand.....
Now the song is stuck in my head. I'm currently belting it at the top of my lungs around my house.
'This is Major Tom to Ground Control, I'm stepping through the door..'
Thank you for starting what will be a very entertaining day for me.
3801885 Don't worry, I sing it loudly at school.
Nobody else joins.
3801285 It's comments like these that make me wanna go, "Shhhhhhhhhh…" so you guys freak out over something that may or may not happen.
3801960
They're obviously not Bowie fans then.
Try belting out Journey's Seperate Ways. If no one joins in, this world is doomed.
3802919 It's been doomed for some time.
Oh, I know that song.
3802919
I remember one day in elementary school when the entire class spontaneously broke out into "we will rock you" by queen.
Good story will watch for now.
My only complaint is about description and transition. Example: for a moment there I was wondering how Luna could be talking in space, I had to guess that they had brought her in. A transition telling us so could be useful, but that could also only be me.
Will read on for overwhelming cuteness factor.
Its about average so far, but it IS only the first chapter. I'll reserve better judgement until later.
A minor malfunction outside in space, and Ground Control learning of Luna in a not so subtle way.
3822781 I second this!
Shouldn't she still be Nightmare Moon?
3823202 It doesn't exactly state what year of Luna's banishment it is. It could be near the end, or in the middle, if she sorted things out and became her own regular self. However, you do have a point if she never got over it, judging by how she was still Nightmare Moon when she was released at the end of her banishment in the canon.
3823202 Well, here's the thing.
I can't remember if it was my own theory or someone else's theory (I'm pretty sure it's someone else's), but someone had a theory that the Nightmare Forces left Luna once she was on the moon so that she would suffer in their place.
Surely they were headed up there for more than an EVA test, right? The effort required to send something into space would make them pack as much as they could into the itinerary, for instance, a cargo run or somesuch. Perhaps a whole slew of experiments. What I'm saying is, there should be more reason for NASA to launch this mission.
3828322 Hush, child. Do not fret.
If you need ideas watch the movie gravity and watch some of the vids that commander Chris hadfield made
Regarding ideas: Tom and Eddie need to start figuring out what has gone wrong with communications, and they might discover it has something to do with Luna. Meanwhile, Luna still hasn't used any magic. And you haven't explored the first-contact aspects of this: Tom and Eddie learning more about Luna's civilization, and Luna learning more about Tom and Eddie's.
Actually, the government would treat an extra terrestrial with the utmost respect, especially one of their rulers.
I mean, they wouldn't want a sun tossed at them now, would they?
3833106 How would they know? How could they trust the word of two people who've been in its presence for an extended amount of time? How do they know these people were brainwashed to believe that this alien was peaceful?
3833232
In answer-
They could meet the alien themselves.
They could have volunteers be with it for short amounts of time to check if they were being brainwashed.
But in any case, they'd be too busy hugging the adowable pony to give one single F*** about whether or not it was peaceful.
Hmm...this story is adverage at the moment, one thing that it could do with is some overall fleshing out and expanding apon, and some dialog issues like unneeded explanation that makes the characters just sound like they're talking to the reader. It just seems kinda rushed at the moment. Also a thing that bugged me is just because they lost radio contact with mission control doesn't mean their stranded in space, they would be trained to get the ship back to earth in a situation like this or an emergency mission abort. One other thing when is this story set, is it modern times or is it back in the 60s in the space race. Overall I like the concept its interesting, has lots of potential and promeses adorableness in the future, it just needs a lot more fleshing out and a little more time to it and you've got a killer story.
3833240
LOL.
Uhrm, probably not like a prisoner or wherever you were going with that thought. Really, what would of been the point of the Voyager if it was going to be a hostile reaction. Really, the balance lies between the weird adversity (while not exactly the word I was going for, adversity does work, as the difficulty is not always outright fear) most people show toward extraterrestrial life due to the depiction in our culture and the obsession we have with what actually does lie outside our view (as you mentioned in your first chapter). Either way, it's your story, and so far it's been interesting. Thank you for writing!
3866162 (Oh fuck I forgot to reply.)
Well, I mean, we wouldn't throw a parade for an alien, either.