Tatzlwurm
How do you say this, Shiera?
Tatzlwurm.
Tat-zool-wum?
Tatzlwurm.
Tant-sa-werm?
Tat-zl-wurm.
Ta-ta-too-ta-turm?
Close enough.
Well, whatever it's name is, it is a sub-terranian worm-like creature with a tri-mandibular jaw and a maw containing black tentacles that can reach out and grab its prey. It also has scales and a red mane-like structure behind its head.
Wow, that was quite insightful.
Wikipedia.
Oh, I see.
Tatzlwurms, did I say it right?
Yep.
Awesome! Tatzlwurms are found on the borders of Equestria. They don't come too near to the mainland, there isn't much for them there.
No, Tatzlwurms are some of the few living organisms that can maintain a stable lifestyle in the wasteland-like boundaries at the edge of Equestria. Surprisingly, they don't need to eat much. I guess evolution kind of worked in the favour.
Well, not really.
How so?
They're hideous creatures. I'd hardly say they got the most beautiful part of the gene pool.
To us, no. But they have an entirely different idea about beauty and looks. To them, we're probably quite atrocious.
Are you kidding me? I'm like the most handsome stallion going! No creature can resist my glorious looks.
And that's why you've only had one girlfriend.
Yes, which was you.
True. That backfired.
Wait, isn't Jerry a Tatzlwurm?
Oh, yeah, I remember Jerry.
Jerry was pretty cool.
Good old Jerry.
...
...
How is Jerry now?
He's dead. You killed him, remember?
Oh, yeah. Shame about Jerry, eh?
Yeah, it certainly was.
Rest in peace, Jerry.
He's gone to the wasteland in the sky now...
...
...
How did I kill Jerry?
Same way you kill everything. You hit him with a brick.
Of course! I remember now.
Yeah...
I hit him with a brick.
He did.
Ha, good old Jerry, eh?
Ah, Jerry.
Tell him I said 'hi' if you see him.
Well, I can't. He's dead, remember?
Oh, of course!
Yeah...
...I killed him...
...yeah, yeah you did.
...
...
He was a lot of fun though, eh?
He certainly was.
Always laughing and making jokes.
That's our Jerry.
And then he tried to eat us.
Yeah...
Not one of Jerry's best moments.
No...
...
...
But he was a good guy.
Oh, yeah. Great guy. Jerry.
...
...
We should go see him some time.
He's dead, Strongbolt.
Right! Silly me. I keep forgetting.
You did kill him.
Ha! I certainly did!
...
...
I'll miss Jerry.
He was a good guy.
Yeah...
Have you heard from him recently?
No, Strongbolt. He's dead. Jerry is dead. You killed him.
Oh, of course I did. I threw a brick at him, right?
Yeah...
...
...
Then his head popped like a watermelon.
It did.
Yeah...
...
Poor Jerry, eh? Poor, poor Jerry.
Indeed.
Stats
Page generated in 0.033 seconds
Total duration
750 users online
1,485,159 hits today, 2,139,894 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I always feel conflicted when reading stuff like this. On one hand, it's hilarious, but on the other hand it's about death. I don't know if I should be feeling sad for the taztlwurm or laughing at it.
4551288 Well, between you and me, Jerry isn't actually a real Tatzlwurm. We just made him up to have something to write about.
Sh! Don't tell them that! It'll ruin the stories!
I feel like this has a Tremors reference in this chapter. Or like a Mongolian Death Worm.
Tatzlwurms? not a problem. Death Worms? a little more of a problem. Sandworms? 400 F
CKING FEET LONG AND IMMUNE TO FIRE AND BRICKS
4551925 Even Stronbolt Bricks™?
4553076 YES!!!
4553608 Well, there goes my future career as a desert brick salesman...
There's no such thing as a desert brick salesman.
Well, no wonder! With all these brick-resistant worms around, who would want to buy any?