Everypony loves Cheerilee -- except, apparently, for an old friend of hers from college, who has just returned to Ponyville with a score to settle! It's a wild race around town as Cheerilee attempts to flee her former companion long enough to figure out what, exactly, she did -- she was a bit drunk at the time, and her memories are rather hazy -- and how she can make it up to her. Not to worry, though: if Cheerilee can't set things right, her students are happy to help out!
...for a generous definition of 'help.'
Lunaverse story, set in the Fall portion of Season 2. Thanks to Blackbelt for helping and betaing!
Chapters (6)
Like I don't have enough to read... *Faves*
Hey hey hey, new Lunaverse story! Will Cherilees wild past haunt her, or is there something else amiss? Only one way to found out!
Off to the reading chamber!
"Pull the lever Twilight"
CRASH
"Wrong lever Twiiiiiiiiiiiiligt!"
(Sorry for that, was watching The Emperor New Groove when this came up)
Anything with the Lunaverse foals is potential gold.
She's a comin for ya Cheerilee!
Oh, my........Notary is "Pony Pretending to be Ryoga Hibiki." No wonder she was so ready to help that idiot Greengrass. Also, given how paranoid Trixie is, she'll assume that somepony didn't get the message.........
Teaching foals the scientific method is good. I wonder when she will fomilize it:
0. Observe.
1. Create a testable (disprovable) hypothesis.
2. Try to disprove the hypothesis.
3. Repeat.
Also maybe, Twilight Sparkle should chime in on this story, since it touches on science, education, and Library-Research (AppleBloom was the library with her recall of 8% of the apples having worms).
So far, this is the AntiFeelingPinkieKeen —— ¡I hate that AntiScienceEpisode!. It is a bit like Bridle Gossip —— ¡I love that ProScienceEpisode!. So far, I like this story.
It begins.....
Hum, I didn't think Notary would be the old enemy, I guess she was Cheerilee's room mate. The not being remember fits with her tendency to blend into the background. I guess Cheerilee made her miss an exam or something. Not sure about her being fired or quitting Greengrass they seemed a good team.
Well Time will tell how this turns out.
3498280 The irony is, Pinkie Keen was writen by an atheist trying to do a "don't judge people with different beliefs" moral, but as an atheist he really didn't get how to represent faith in stuff that cannot be proven, so pseudoscience and magic powers are go was his basic plan.
Well written as usual, though I don't think I like Notary as an antagonist. She works better as Greengrass' more competent assistant, like Pokey to Trixie and Spike to Twilight. She's not a nice pony, but she certainly isn't evil.
3497995
Why do you even HAVE that lever?
So only one complaint, liked this start so far, but must you put in another Pinkie Pie Sub-plot? Especially because I have a feeling like It'll end up being like Concert's, which honestly felt like you wanted to end every scene she showed up in with "Get back on your meds, Pinkie,"?
Edit:
3499514
I presume then, that you would prefer us not to respond to that comment.
3499376: PInkie has a much smaller presence in this one. Mostly, I wanted her in scene 1 to help lighten things (so it didn't end on Notary swearing revenge). She's kind of a flag that this won't be a dark story.
3499253: I also dislike FPK, but this isn't really on topic for this story. Maybe move it to your blog or another appropriate forum? Thanks.
3499514
Certainly.
As I pointed out, your story is like S01E09 “Bridle Gossip by Amy Keating Rogers” —— not S01E15 “Feeling Pinkie Keen” by Dave Polsky. I shall make a BlogPost out of my comment and reduce my comment here to a link. It will all be fixed in a few minutes.
3498733
GrassAndClouds2 did not like the long response about the writing of Dave Polsky. Since this story is much more Like S01E09 "Bridle Gossip" by Amy Keating Rogers, GrassAndClouds2 has a point, so I moved my response about Dave Polsky to a BlogPost:
http://fimfiction.net/blog/247398/feeling-pinkie-keen-by-dave-polsky-is-antiscience
Not a bad start, still not sure how come Notary's link to Cheerilee didn't come up sooner...
And must Cheerilee be once again haunted by her past?!
It's the second friend who is angry at her, possibly as a misunderstanding! Plus I would think Cheerilee would have gotten more responsible by that point in her life, considering that's when she left her old gang behind...
3500095: She can be a very responsible pony who gets all her homework done on time and scores really high grades, but still parties very hard on the weekends and is perhaps a bit inconsiderate of her roommate.
As for it being mentioned before, Trixie didn't know Notary (they met in Chap. 4 or 5 of AtGGG and Trixie didn't recognize her), so she couldn't have mentioned her to Cheerilee, and Cheerilee never actually met Notary in any of the S1 fics (Notary was on vacation in 'Foaling Around', and she wasn't at the Gala itself.) So Cheerilee wouldn't have known that Notary was working for GG at that time. On the other end, considering how Notary seems to feel about Cheerilee, it doesn't seem like GG would have been able to manipulate her by referencing their past ("hey, remember your college roommate whom you did some unspecified bad thing to? She works for me, and -- hey, wait, where are you going? Come back!"), so he wouldn't have had it brought up either.
Of course, now that Notary doesn't seem to be working for him anymore, all bets are off...
3500138 I guess it's okay, though it would work better if Cheerilee doesn't recognize her at first. We'll see. So far I'm liking this fic.
Also, minor nitpick, but I think you shouldn't have went ahead and have her refer to herself as Notary right in this chapter. If only to see how many readers would have recognized her right away.
Is Notary really from Moscolt? There is a doubtful half of me that thinks it is only a cover-up story for her. She used to be a spy, didn't she?
And Applejack's reaction after biting a pickled apple.
If that's not culture clash, I don't know what it is.
And why is Big Mac struggling not to laugh?
3500315: Sibling teasing. He's familiar with pickled apples, but he knows his sisters aren't, and are likely to be bewildered by them. Plus, AB probably made a funny face when she bit into one and found it to be vinegar-tasting.
> Cheerilee... I’m coming for you.
Just curious - does Notary mentally think of Cheerilee as "Cheerilee" or "Blackcherry"? The first scene on the train would seem to indicate the latter, although it's a more formal designation. Presumably Notary knows by the time she's talking to Applejack that her target also goes by "Cheerilee", but I was just wondering if she's comfortable enough with the name so that in her thought text above (quoted), the lack of quotes would be appropriate.
"Cheerilee... I’m coming for you." - comfortable with the designation, and has internalized it.
"'Cheerilee'... I’m coming for you." - recognizes the name as an alias of Blackcherry's, but doesn't think of her under that name by default.
I sense hijinks incoming. :-)
This is very silly.
I love it!!!
I did not see the marriage bit coming.
Talking as someone who's been there it's not as much fun as it sounds kid. After a few weeks sitting in a pit at midday on the equator watching a cow get bitten by Tsetse flies it looses it appeal a bit.
I think there's something wrong with Sweetie's thinking there but I can't quite put my finger on it.... Oh right the foal's aren't bees they can't make honey.
Okay........THIS is starting to turn into a mash-up between a Season Two episode of the series AND an episode of MASH. Mirth: ensue!!!
3502550 Hijinks are the best kind of jinks.
This is... completely insane. Cheerilee in this story is making Berry Punch look like a teetotaler.
Can't wait for the next chapter.
I think this story is set in another universe. I feel plot holes, like when it said Trixie was a knight, or Cheerilee was an Element Bearer. I probably need to read some other story.
3503875: Yes. this is a story in the Lunaverse. There's a lot of stories in the main canon by now, but the story at this link, Longest Night Longest Day, is the first one chronologically and is a good introduction to the series.
3503893
Thanks, but I was getting the vibe that it wasn't the first. My confusion on Knight-Trixie and Laughter-Cheerilee still exists.
Also, why is it called the Lunaverse?
3503951: In this verse, Celestia fell to evil and Luna remained good. She sent her student Trixie to Ponyville, they saved the world from evil Celestia/Corona's return, friendship ensued.
As I linked in my prior comment, "longest night longest day" is the first story in the verse (in terms of the main canon episodes. There's a couple side stories set during and immediately after Coroan's fall). You can also look at the main list of canonical Lunaverse episodes here.
Now that went silly and delightfully absurd in a big hurry.
3502550
I prefer shenanigans, personally.
Honestly was totally uninterested in this since I thought it'd be another generic antagonist comes to town and is dealt with by the L-verse Elements. That not being the case was very pleasant and you've really got a very nicely written hysterical story here. Nicely done! Added to my favorites and e-mail alerts!
Is it wrong that I'm halfway tempted to hope the marriage sticks?
3505078: Notary would certainly make an... interesting substitute teacher.
And I could see Cheery and Notary getting into bureaucracy-offs, where they both use their encyclopedic knowledge of Equestrian law to argue about some obscure point. :-)
3504927: Glad you're enjoying it! It's fun bringing back old characters and giving them another whirl.
The Notary vs. Cheerilee chase scene was belly-wobblingly funny!
Also, I wouldn't be surprised if Notary joins the Spetznaz (have I spelt it wrong?) considering her badassery.
3503964
Thanks.
Um, did Greengrass fire her? Or is he really screwed right now or something and can't afford to keep her on? Why is she not working for him anymore?
Im really liking the comedy of the situation and having Cheerilee's old days come and blow up in her face, but I am rather concerned about this. I mean, I don't even know what Greengrass' status is at the moment, but why would he and Notary not be working together anymore?
3506475
Just it's been discussed on the forums before to make Notary Cheerilee and Notary old college roommates. If it's someone else then there's no issue. If it is the same Notary though, then I'm rather concerned about why she isn't working for Greengrass.
Oh, this is gonna be awkward as all hell for Cheerilee...
I think this is Notary from Greengrass' employ. If so, then she needs to get kicked in the face by Trixie herself. Doesn't matter how. Payback's been building up for a while.
Anyway, the foals are at work. This won't end well.
3506475: It's the same pony.
3508238: Now, is that any way to treat the wife of Cheerilee, one of her closest friends? :-)
3508862 Hmm... YES!
3508238
That kind of depends on the terms of her employment. There are lawyers who defend people they soon discover to be very much guilty. Why? Because the nature of their job means that they can't easily spill the beans and/or back out once they've taken the defendants case.
Or they're just EVIL.
But I'd rather take the high road and avoid that cliche.