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  • E Scootaling

    Scootaloo's a changeling. How will her friends react?
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  • E Musicians and Dreamers

    Lunaverse. Octavia tries to recruit Lyra; Trixie doesn't trust her. Who will Lyra believe?
    20,745 words · 2,892 views  ·  225  ·  3
  • E A Present for Octavia

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    4,825 words · 1,002 views  ·  158  ·  2
  • E Symphony for Moon and Sun

    Lyra must help Octavia play a piece of forbidden music. Both will be ruined if she fails.
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  • E Luna's Night Off

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  • E The Music of Ponyville

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  • E Greengrass's Night

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  • E A Canterlot Morning

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Blog Posts172

  • 2w, 9h
    You Can Call Me...

    Dr. GrassAndClouds2.

    I.e., the PhD thesis defense went well. :-)

    18 comments · 66 views
  • 2w, 6d
    Rejected Video Game Titles

    Five Nights with Fluttershy

    Rainbow Dash Six

    The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Sparkle Princess

    Amnesia: A Machine for Pinkies

    Pacmare

    Luna: The Blue-ish Star

    Derpyronpa

    Dragon: The Bruce Cheerilee Story

    1 comments · 50 views
  • 12w, 4d
    Afterlife With Archie

    ...continues to be awesome.

    That is all.

    (Oh, and really looking forward to the forthcoming "Betty: RIP" arc!)

    0 comments · 105 views
  • 14w, 6d
    JULP Update

    After review by the Lunaverse Quorum, Just Us Little Ponies has been approved for Lunaverse-canon status! Woohoo!

    Thanks once again to everyone, including RDD, Emeral, and Fizzy for reviewing it, and Talon for being an incredibly helpful and supportive beta. :-)

    6 comments · 93 views
  • 18w, 2d
    I Don't Get It

    So, I listened to a couple episodes of Welcome to Night Vale. And... I'm not feeling it.

    I mean, I get that it's funny for maybe fifteen minutes to have a stereotypically deep voiced radio announcer talking about various horrible things as if it's mundane. "And, next Tuesday, the secret police will be executing citizens who failed to take out the garbage! Oh, those cads!" But after that fifteen minutes, I don't get what else there is of interest. That kind of story, to me, could use either a plotline about exploring the town and actually trying to solve its mysteries, or a plotline about fighting the various depravities of the town. As it is, there doesn't really seem to be a plotline, except for the recent 'vs Strex Corp' thing... which doesn't work for me, because they could have done a vs plotline with the Town Council or the Sheriff's Secret Police or any other of the fascist or monstrous things in town; it feels manipulative to suddenly say, "Wait, they really are heros! Look, here's some brand new bad guys whom Cecil and the others will oppose!" when they haven't really done anything heroic in the past.

    What's frustrating is they have Carlos, the scientist character, and I feel like a much better story could be told if Cecil were instead made a field reporter and permanently attached to the science team. Then you can have a consistent plot, exploring the mysteries one at a time, maybe even solving one now and then, and slowly filling out the world in spare moments. Instead, the episodes I saw were shotgun blasts full of random worldbuilding details, with no buildup to anything and no indicator that the story is progressing.

    But it's crazy popular. So I guess I'm asking, to any fans of the series... what am I not getting?

    7 comments · 137 views
  • ...
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Source

Eager to demonstrate that she's learning something about the magic of friendship, Trixie Lulamoon decides to help the nervous Fluttershy prepare for an upcoming concert. Not one to do things by half, Trixie arranges for Court Musician Octavia Philharmonica to personally come in and prepare Fluttershy for the show. Unfortunately, Fluttershy doesn't respond well to Octavia's demanding standards, and Octavia is quickly frustrated by Fluttershy's  inclination to drop out and hide rather than perfect and present her music. Can Trixie salvage their relationship into something harmonious? Or will the concert be drowned out by cacophonous bickering? Lunaverse story.

First Published
25th Oct 2013
Last Modified
11th Nov 2013
#1 · 51w, 5d ago · 4 · · Trixie Lends a Hoof ·

Looks good so far.

I love your Rainbow Dash, loyal and helpful to her friend but at the same time utterly clueless.

I'd say Trixie might be exaggerating slightly when she said she and Octavia go way back unless I'm misremembering the backstory, didn't she first meet her about 6 months ago in character?

Baronett Slimeball? Well that's a name that inspires confidence in your leadership.

#2 · 51w, 5d ago · · · Trixie Lends a Hoof ·

This looks like it'll be a pretty interesting story.  With you and writing something music related things almost always work out really well so I look forward to seeing how this develops.  Characters did feel a little overly saccharine and caricatureish at points though.  But I'm sure things will get more complicated shortly.  Thanks a lot for sharing.  Added to my favorites and email alerts.

#3 · 51w, 5d ago · 4 · · Trixie Lends a Hoof ·

Another G&C2 musical Lunaverse story? Hell yeah.

You know, I'd like to believe that Baronet Slimeball is such a great pony he left the Night Court to better focus on his philanthropic works. Names aren't everything!

#4 · 51w, 5d ago · · · Trixie Lends a Hoof ·

No Trixie, you've doomed us all! Don't you know better than to say things like that? Don't temp the Great and Terrible Murphey!

#5 · 51w, 5d ago · · · Trixie Lends a Hoof ·

>>3396738

I think there's a touch of sarcasm in there, although they've certainly been through a lot over the past year.  I'm pretty sure they go back at least as far as the Ice Palace incident.  From Octavia's point of view, it would be "When did Trixie first become a burr in my saddle?"

I assume Baronet Slimeball = Greengrass?

#6 · 51w, 5d ago · · · Trixie Lends a Hoof ·

And once again, Rainbow Dash shows just how much she understands her best friend, one she's had since foalhood.

#7 · 51w, 5d ago · · · Trixie Lends a Hoof ·

>>3397247

I think she's trying partially I think it's a sort of tough love thing, it she doesn't give Fluttershy a kick in the plot she'll never do anything, :rainbowdetermined2: and partially just not recognising that other ponies actually like different things. Rainbow herself would love to show off to a crowd so doesn't understand why Fluttershy doesn't want to. :rainbowderp: At least she picked a charity Fluttershy would get behind 120% and something she might get outside of her comfort zone for.

The only bit that seems off to me is her then running straight off, that was a bit to cruel / heartless to me I'd think she'd hang around to help Fluttershy although maybe she thought Lyra, Carrot Top and Trixie would be better at it than her.

#8 · 51w, 5d ago · 1 · · Trixie Lends a Hoof ·

I'm surprised Lyra didn't have anything to say about Octavia coming. She's known her for years and years longer than Trixie, after all...

>>3397220

No, Greengrass is a duke. Baronet is significantly below that in terms of noble ranks, and in fact is the lowest noble rank, only slightly above the gentry (Lord/Lady and Knight/Dame): Baronet/Baronetess, Baron/Baroness, Viscount/Viscountess, Count/Countess, Margrave/Margravine, Duke/Duchess, Archduke/Archduchess, Viceroy/Vicereine, Grand Duke/Grand Duchess, Prince/Princess, King/Queen, and Emperor/Empress.

Baronets are also distinct in that even though their title is heredity, unlike the titles of the gentry, baronets are not members of the peerage (the nobility as a collective whole) (which in Lunaverse terms probably means that they are never direct members of the Night Court, though of course they may have means of influencing it).

#9 · 51w, 5d ago · · · Trixie Lends a Hoof ·

>>3396738: Trixie's exaggerating slightly. That said, I wouldn't be surprised if Trixie had bumped into Octavia while she (Trixie) apprenticed to Luna; Octavia was trying to perform for Courtiers at that point, so she might have occasionally gained access to the castle. Certainly she was at the Ice Palace, as >>3397220 said. For that matter, I wouldn't be surprised if Trixie (who was kind of a jerk back then) had bragged about her relationship with Luna and compared it to Octavia's then-nonexistance prospects of performing for the nobility/Luna.

But yeah, Trixie's exaggering a bit for Fluttershy's benefit.

>>3397220: Nope. Slimeball's his actual name. Greengrass is still on the Court, with his seat and everything. He won't be appearing in this story, though.

>>3397247: She did the same thing on LNLD, and unlike some of the other characters she hasn't been through all that much development, so I think it's reasonable to assume she'd do it again.

>>3397273: But this as well. She's honestly trying to help Fluttershy out. She's just not terribly good at it.

>>3397452: Good point; edited in a line from Lyra enthusing about Tavi possibly coming to town.

As for the nobles, I see that 'grand duke' is now below 'archduke' in the list you just posted, when before grand duke was above viceroy. Did something change?

#10 · 51w, 5d ago · 1 · · Trixie Lends a Hoof ·

>>3397660

Nope. Slimeball's his actual name.

That family must share a similar mindset with the ones who would name their children "Stinkin" and "Filthy."

#11 · 51w, 5d ago · · · Trixie Lends a Hoof ·

>>3397692: Maybe it's a last name. :-)

#12 · 51w, 5d ago · · · Trixie Lends a Hoof ·

>>3397660

Probably not, the wikipedia pages on nobility/royalty are just really inconsistent from page to page. Lemmie check my list from LNLD...

Ah, yes, you're right. Okay, I'll make some edits.

Remember that Equestria doesn't have any Grand Dukes/Duchesses, anyway. Those are usually sovereigns in their own right.

Comment posted by GrassAndClouds2 deleted at 5:02pm on the 25th of October, 2013
#14 · 51w, 5d ago · · · Trixie Lends a Hoof ·

>>3397702

Whats his first name, Total? Wonderful? Not A? Absolute?

#15 · 51w, 5d ago · 1 · · Trixie Lends a Hoof ·

Great. She can get Twilight to file this under "Words", sub-section "Last", sub-sub-section "Famous.":facehoof:

(Failing that, she can start wearing a pink baseball hat and adopt the catch-phrase "What could possibly go wrong?")

#16 · 51w, 5d ago · · · Trixie Lends a Hoof ·

Just a point of reflexion: while Trixie is genuinely trying to honor her Element of Friendship and become a better pony, she may be incidentally helping her career by helping the daughter of a powerful member of the Night Court, just as she did with Twilight (Although I´m not sure if Night Light already knows about the events of Crisis on Two Equestrias, or the recent friendship between his daughter and the Elements)

Note: I´m not saying Trixie is aiming for a profit, just that she is getting herself good karma (the positive side of "actions have consequences" on the Lunaverse)

#17 · 51w, 5d ago · · · Trixie Lends a Hoof ·

>>3398340: Flutters isn't Posey's daughter, I don't think. To my knowledge, the relationship is unspecified but has been generally assumed to be a niece. (>>3397753, am I getting this right?)

That all said, I'd like to think Trixie has genuinely pure motives here.

#18 · 51w, 5d ago · · · Trixie Lends a Hoof ·

>>3398483  Yes, and the fact that Twilight is right behind her and gaining has nothing to do with Trixie's sudden burst of speed... :pinkiehappy:

#19 · 51w, 5d ago · · · Trixie Lends a Hoof ·

Trixie's being helpful! Bringing the Court Musician of Equestria in to train a small-town animal choir conductor seems like a bit of overkill, but Trixie and Lyra do both have a personal connection with Octavia, so it makes sense.

It will be interesting to see how you write Octavia and Fluttershy together in the Lunaverse, compared to the Cadanceverse. C!Fluttershy seems more assertive and extroverted than M!Fluttershy, whereas L!Fluttershy is less so.

#20 · 51w, 5d ago · 1 · · Trixie Lends a Hoof ·

>>3396950 You know what? I agree with this. Maybe the name is indicative of a talent in... ear, nose and throat medicine?

Anyway... Dash. *Clenches fist* Get a clue. Mane or Lunaverse, sometimes your head's thicker than a concrete wall. Anyway, good on Trixie. I hope this ends up going well for everyone involved, Dash excepted. :rainbowhuh:

#21 · 51w, 5d ago · · · Trixie Lends a Hoof ·

>>3398483

I think it has been said that Fluttershy is Posey's niece, but also that she hasn't got any kids of her own (It might be my imagination but it might even have been stated that she was not likely to have any) and Fluttershy was being groomed as the heir-apparent. Given that clearly hasn't worked out as planned I don't know whose set to inherit.

#22 · 51w, 5d ago · · · Trixie Lends a Hoof ·

>>3399116: If not Fluttershy, there is only one other pegasus in Ponyville who has the dignity, intelligence, and passion to take on the role.

Namely, Scootaloo. :-)

More seriously, I don't think we've specified who is set to inherit.

#23 · 51w, 5d ago · · · Trixie Lends a Hoof ·

“This is gonna be great,” murmured Trixie, as she drifted off to sleep. “Everything’s going to be perfect.”

And Trixie just invited in Murphy for tea and crumpets. Hmm... You have have now written the same characters in three different universes. How have all three imploded on your head, author?

And...

Darn it, Rainbow!

#24 · 51w, 5d ago · 2 · · Trixie Lends a Hoof ·

>>3398483>>3399116

Yeah, Gala solidified Fragrant Posey as Fluttershy's aunt. Fragrant has been having trouble having foals, so she for a time had Fluttershy named as her heir apparent. The expectations of that coupled with Thundering's expectations for Fluttershy to inherit his controlling share of the weather factory in Cloudsdale was a bit too much for Fluttershy, though, which is what lead to her isolating herself in Ponyville.

Fragrant and Thunderous didn't realize that Fluttershy wasn't quite equipped for everything they were loading on her and felt awful after her nervous breakdown, and both have been trying to make things up to her.

Fluttershy has brothers and sisters (presumably younger ones, mentioned in Family Matters, but at least one is old enough that Fluttershy mentioned that he or she is somehow involved in managing the family's finances), so the Posey family as a whole isn't in any danger by Fluttershy abdicating from the weather factory or taking Fragrant's title.

Anyway, to answer the other question, I don't think Fragrant can't have foals, she's just been having difficulty with getting pregnant and carrying one to term for whatever reason (maybe she had a miscarriage halfway through one pregnancy that was somewhat traumatic and put her off the idea of trying for awhile). I like to think she'll succeed in the near future, though. Perhaps with a certain earth pony baron she seemed to have gone to the Gala with. It'd be nice if something genuinely, unabashedly positive could be said to have come from that fic...

#25 · 51w, 5d ago · 1 · · Trixie Lends a Hoof ·

>>3400275: Heh. I like that idea. A Posey/Max romance could be amusing. And they're good nobles; they deserve happiness. :-)

#26 · 51w, 4d ago · · · Trixie Lends a Hoof ·

>>3397660

Oh no, I understand that. It is in character for RD to essentially barge into Flutters house, announce that she signed Flutters up for something without telling her first(Forgetting that Flutters was having a breakdown the last time she was signed up to do the exact same thing), and then fly off to do her own thing instead of sticking around and see if she needs any help.

I'm just finding it increasingly silly that they are best friends, which should involve a degree of understanding between them better than someone who just formally met Flutters a couple hours ago at most.

#27 · 51w, 3d ago · 3 · · Octavia's Arrival ·

Great. She's like someone who jumped from the seventieth floor and, upon passing the fifth, said "So far, so good."

#28 · 51w, 3d ago · 1 · · Octavia's Arrival ·

"So... you're saying I shouldn't tell her about the little shrine to Thrash Metail I built in the back of your residency?"

That's a bit worrying, maybe he and Vinyl could go on a 'mission impossible' type thing to liberate the 'guitar of instant raves'?

What exactly is in the suitcase that Pokey has to protect? Ponies don't ware many clothes so I wouldn't think Octy would carry too much, maybe it's just full of hundreds of bow ties. The only other thing I can think of is Octy's Cello but I doubt she'd leave that with anyone else.

I see you're keeping the cant eat sweets sub plot in there.

"Baron Max, from Nulpar... the province they just created a year ago when they found those villages that weren't on any actual map. I don't think he's actually on the Welcoming Committee, but Princess Luna mentioned to me he's trying to get involved in more Committees and Ministries. I suppose that was why he was there."

Yep, no other reason that Maxie boy should be there, he better treat Thundering right or he might find out if the stare is genetic or not.

#29 · 51w, 3d ago · · · Octavia's Arrival ·

>>3407183:

The suitcase has everything Octavia took with her except for her cello (which is in a separate case on Tavi's back). So that would be not only her bowties but also a formal dress (in case she is called upon to give an impromptu concert) toiletries, maybe a book for the train, music books, records if she wants to listen to something while in town, and so forth.

Heh. Pokey and Vinyl, breaking into the Canterlot equivalent of Warehouse 13. I sense hijinks!

And yes, Pinkie's subplot was too much fun to discard.

Yep, no other reason that Maxie boy should be there, he better treat Thundering right or he might find out if the stare is genetic or not.

I think you mean Fragrant, but otherwise, I can imagine him learning exactly where Thundering get his name...

"You made my sister cry!" *summons thunderstorm*

#30 · 51w, 3d ago · · · Octavia's Arrival ·

Everything's going perfectly. I am a good friend.

Damn it, Trixie!

#31 · 51w, 3d ago · 2 · · Octavia's Arrival ·

REPRESENTATIVE LULAMOON BLAMED FOR SOME REASON

:rainbowlaugh:

It's your life, Trixie. You figure it out.

#32 · 51w, 3d ago · · · Octavia's Arrival ·

>>3407380

Yes I did mean Fragrant, oops, although that would be interesting....

Anyway, you've sort of made me want to write something akin to Pinkie and Bluie for Maxie and Fragrant (Smellie?). Something to add to my list of things to write if I ever get time.

#33 · 51w, 3d ago · · · Octavia's Arrival ·

You really need to have Vinyl, Octavia, Lyra, and Fluttershy all get together and make some really different piece together.  The mechanics of that would probably be pretty damn fun.

Anyway, nice to see a little bit more of this, and to see where things are probably going to start fraying apart.  Could have maybe used a bit more descriptions, and reactions and less dialogue.  But overall very nice well written chapter.  Thanks for sharing!

#34 · 51w, 3d ago · · · Octavia's Arrival ·

And underneath, in the sub-heading: REPRESENTATIVE LULAMOON BLAMED FOR SOME REASON.

Poor Trixie, it's not her fault she was born with bad karma.

#35 · 51w, 3d ago · · · Octavia's Arrival ·

>>3407559 Hopefully that's not a harbinger of things to come. Trixie being the butt monkey so much gets rather wearing for me.

Anyway, good chapter. Hope things don't bit Trixie in the flank too hard here. I sense Fluttershy is either gonna lock down or go full "YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE ME!" mode.

#36 · 51w, 3d ago · · · Octavia's Arrival ·

>>3408363  Hopefully that's not a harbinger of things to come. Trixie being the butt monkey so much gets rather wearing for me.

While Trixie is probably summoning squawking doom upon her own head with that last thought, I think it is definitely reflective of the progress she made since coming to Ponyville.

And if that doesn't help up her bear up to what follows she can always fall back on the wallowing in self-pity and M. Bourbon.

Or, to put it more accurately, Trixie makes something of a worse botch of things because she's dealing with a perfectionist and a naive adult child who equates being yelled at with being hated.

Poor Fluttershy...

But no, this does not mean anyone has actual firearms.

Bending the tech level for the sake of Pinkie is pretty much par for the course; I didn't think you were trying to imply such, in other words. :twilightsmile:

Of course, that means she doesn't really take failure well.

Also, she doesn't seem to realize that controlling the celestial bodies is basically like breathing for Luna. Luna likes to make a show of bringing in the night, 'cause that's who she is, but the actual required effort is minimal. No, Luna can't just 'take a day off' from the Sun and Moon, but they place so little strain on her that she wouldn't ever need to.

My thought has always been that Equestrian tech is a bit odd to begin with, since hooved critters that walk around on four legs most of the time are just going to have different needs, so will develop things at different rates.  Thus why they seem to have video games in an otherwise lower tech world.  As for guns, my go to answer is the griffins invented them.  Since they fly a claw held weapon with a trigger is a perfectly sensible sort of thing for a griffin, unlike even pegasi who still have the hoof issue.  That's why until you pointed it out in the note I didn't even think it was weird.

I have a feeling Trixie is going to just make things worse. She's great at that. Just leave this to Carrot and Lyra. They can fix this.

"For instance, you might hesitate for one single moment, and the next thing you know the most handsome, fashionable, and eligible bachelor of the Night Court is dating the town baker instead of yours truly... but I digress."

You'd think she was bitter or something.

Oh Trixie, you were doing so well trying to use your powers for good and only being a touch dishonest to all you met, come on you can fix it all you just need to realise that this isn't all about you, as hard as that is for you.

Octy came off as a touch harsh, I guess she doesn't know Fluttershy as well as we do.

How common an instrument is a flock of birds in Equestria? There's got to be some limits to what they can actually do and how well Fluttershy can control them, its a miracle they can conceptualise something like semitone. Octy could probably take that into mind.

Although something I thought about for the Cadenceverse is that a good mimicking bird (Parrot or similar) could be used like a tape recorder to copy music by another instrument or group of birds which could be in turn recorded by another bird allowing you to mix 'tracks' together. The right mix of birds would give you a phenomenal range, particularly given how their lungs work.

This Luna is also a Princess of Dreams, right? I want to believe that the opening of this chapter involves her messing with Trixie.

"Wedding shotgun?" repeated Trixie.

:pinkiehappy::trixieshiftleft:

"Wait, give me that." Trixie yanked the muffin off the platter and bit into it with gusto. "Mmm. Now you can go."

Seize the moment!

Rarity on decorations, Dash on weather duty, all for free, this is going too well to be a proper Trixie plan.

Ahhh, there's where we finally go off the tracks, it had to be coming.

This was... painful for me at the end, and not in a good way either. Once again it's all Trixie's fault, even while trying to do a good thing for everyone. And Octavia was a complete asshole. No if's, ands or buts about it. She has a stick up her flank and it needs removing, then bludgeoning her over the head with.

>>3417584

Ignoring that you're flat out wrong, and that it is collectively Trixie, Carrot Top, Lyra, Octavia and Fluttershy's fault that this one aspect of the concert isn't going perfect at the moment, ignoring that Trixie is obviously over-stating her own failure here, and ignoring that you seem to care more about your vendetta against anything being Trixie's fault ever then the plot of the story, I'm rather surprised that you don't care much that Trixie just conned Rarity out of a significant amount of free decorations. I'd like to think you care more Grass not letting his hatred of one particular action Trixie did against a colossal dick make it so he writes her as a colossal dick to a pony who considers her a friend and has done nothing wrong to her, but apparently that's okay.

>>3418823

Ignoring that you're flat out wrong, and that it is collectively Trixie, Carrot Top, Lyra, Octavia and Fluttershy's fault that this one aspect of the concert isn't going perfect at the moment

What did CT and Lyra do wrong? Trixie asked them to let her handle this one and they agreed. I don't think they should have refused. ("No, Trixie, we know you're a crappy friend who'll screw this up, so we're going to take over and sideline you.")

Lyra's the Bearer of Loyalty. She's going to stand by her friend Trixie when Trixie wants a chance to show that she knows what she's doing. And CT's the Bearer of Generosity, she'll give Trixie a chance to prove herself any time.

I'd like to think you care more Grass not letting his hatred of one particular action Trixie did against a colossal dick make it so he writes her as a colossal dick to a pony

This was drafted (including this scene in particular) back in early February, before AtGGG had reached the extortion scene (which, IIRC, was when it finished). I didn't post it because S2 of Lunaverse didn't open until late July, at which point I was trying to write more S2 stuff (Exam Jitters) as well as some independent stuff (novel draft, short story submissions). I've only gotten to this now, but all the core ideas were conceived of over a month before the extortion.

There's a few minor updates regarding Gala fallout (the mention earlier of Slimeball leaving the Court, the reference to Max working harder, Fragrant now explicitly being Flutters' aunt, etc.) but Trixie was always going to run into trouble by not keeping a closer eye on Octy and Flutters here.

>>3419054

What did CT and Lyra do wrong? Trixie asked them to let her handle this one and they agreed. I don't think they should have refused. ("No, Trixie, we know you're a crappy friend who'll screw this up, so we're going to take over and sideline you.")

Lyra's the Bearer of Loyalty. She's going to stand by her friend Trixie when Trixie wants a chance to show that she knows what she's doing. And CT's the Bearer of Generosity, she'll give Trixie a chance to prove herself any time.

Because, Like Trixie, they did not properly warn Octavia of how utterly fragile Fluttershy was. Also, If I'm correct, Lyra commanded almost all of Octavia's attention from when Octavia got there to the end of Octavia's first day, so she had the best opportunity to inform her teacher, who she should know would have an incompatible teaching style to Fluttershy, due to Lyra having been told at most a few days ago that Fluttershy was increadibly fragile, and she would be aware of how Octavia teaches, as she was her student.

This was drafted (including this scene in particular) back in early February, before AtGGG had reached the extortion scene (which, IIRC, was when it finished). I didn't post it because S2 of Lunaverse didn't open until late July, at which point I was trying to write more S2 stuff (Exam Jitters) as well as some independent stuff (novel draft, short story submissions). I've only gotten to this now, but all the core ideas were conceived of over a month before the extortion.

There's a few minor updates regarding Gala fallout (the mention earlier of Slimeball leaving the Court, the reference to Max working harder, Fragrant now explicitly being Flutters' aunt, etc.) but Trixie was always going to run into trouble by not keeping a closer eye on Octy and Flutters here.

At that point, I was only referring to what she did to Rarity, which was so utterly dickish, I just assumed that that was you doing what you promised. I apologize that this was not the case.

#47 · 51w, 2h ago · · · Second Verse ·

"Octavia made it sound like they'll have a long night ahead of them. But she also said she'd try to stop by and give me an update at dinner time. Which..." Octavia looked at her clock. "She should be coming along soon."
This is slightly strange.

Please, just accept that Octavia doesn't even sweets--
I think you need a 'like' here unless you were making a 'doesn't afraid of anything' reference.

You wouldn't like if somepony shot broccoli at you, would you?"
Missing an 'it'.

Pretty great chapter! I love the Trixie dream sequences. Everything seems to be wrapping up well for a nice feel-good ending.

#48 · 51w, 2h ago · · · Second Verse ·

>>3423949: Edited, thanks for the notes!

The dreams are fun. I like writing them. :-)

#49 · 51w, 1h ago · · · Second Verse ·

>>3423969 Np. I can be pretty nit-picky, so I notice small stuff like that often.

It's good to hear they're as enjoyable to write as they are to read.

#50 · 50w, 6d ago · 2 · · Second Verse ·

Trixie cried out as she fell out of the bed, cracking her horn again. Ow! Stupid dream with oddly specific logistics!

Okay, that has got to be Luna messing with her.

“Okay,” she said to herself. “They’re just chickens. How bad could they be?”

Then she found out.

Wow. I was laughing so hard at this and the immediate follow up scene that it took a few minutes before I could focus on the rest of the chapter.

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