Exiled from Equestria, you flee to the last place in the world left for you to go: the exalted Crystal Empire. After many months of searching for a means to support yourself, you end up both homeless and jobless in the dead of winter in the frozen north. Then, on one of the coldest and harshest days of the year, Princess Cadence finds you, alone and huddling around a small fire, and she’s more than happy to take you in.
So come, share a tender moment with the princess of the Crystal Empire.
Featured on October 2, 2013
Edited by The Abyss
Chapters (1)
Great story man! But DAAAAMN, dude; those feels!!!!
I love these kinds of stories; I just can't get enough of 'em!
Flames-
!! That's my OC's problems! How did you know!? Being a interdimentual wolf isn't fair!
Dam bro this really made me think bout what friendship is.... The mix of feeels and pondering is making my body hurt. Im glad I read this and that people understand the concept of love. In their own way.
Simply beautiful
What if... The OC was Flash Sentry?
3290213 Wow, I...
Headcannon accepted!
Cadence's and our main character's arguments reminded me of Plato's Republic now that I think of it a little if only because of the Doctors and medicine bit.
3290988
Someone has a good eye. If you look closely, you're more right that you know. The beginning before the main character gets angry with Cadence is even a reformatting of Socrates' argument against the misnaming of justice as the advantage of leaders. It had to be reformatted of course, because the premise that it is just to obey princesses was denied; so it seems to work against Cadence in the beginning.
Bravo!
3289619
).
I'm very glad to hear that. I hear so often that people generally don't enjoy reading second person stories because they don't like ideas being put in their head and words in their mouth. It was actually difficult for me to write in such a way that I wouldn't be imposing anything that wasn't completely necessary (for example, you get to choose whether or not you're a pony or a human in this story
But at the same time I really wanted to make my readers feel like they really were in this situation, and that because of what they'd been through, they held certain opinions, which maybe they wouldn't otherwise hold. Yet as you can see, that was for a reason: It was done to show the value and goodness of cadence's character, and to make the reader truly place themselves in that position in order to see it.
Good show. Very heartfelt message, and even with it being a 2nd person fic, it didn't come off as awkward or any of those stereotypes of 2nd persons you see around the site. In fact, I think it capitalizes on the 2nd person aspect to drive home its message in a way that it couldn't do in 1st or 3rd person. Plus, it's about Cadance, too, which is totally awesome :wishingtherewasacadanceemoticon:
Keep up the good work!
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I'll get around to reading this eventually, if only because it uses my profile picture.
very cool story! especially the part where cadence hugs you
This was an absolutely riveting story in a very odd way. It felt like I was being introduced to this strange, alien train of thought, yet it was written in a way that invited me to entertain it, to put myself in someone else's shoes and investigate what would drive them to think like this. To me, the story feels like a tale of love overcoming hate, and how understanding and forgiveness are more important than simply locking people in a dungeon.
Truly, this is a triumph of literature.
I get this bad feeling from reading this, like the kind that says, don't stick your hand in the alligators mouth kind of feeling.
I'm interested in his back story though with his situation of getting in trouble with the law.
And finally unnamed narrator has won the war over himself.
He loves the princesses.
Good show. Too bad the politicians and tyrants of this world aren't quite as utopian as the Cadence of your tale. Ah well. Eventually, death will free us all from the evils of man.
Damn....all of that was love, and friendship. it gave true meaning to the words, Kindness, and Friendship....i admit i cried a LITTLE bit...im ok though..
....
....
I really liked this, it was nicely done
I always adore stories which kinda take up the task of explaining why the princesses aren't exactly selfish despotic tyrants, since lotsa people seem to forget... And also, it was definitely a nice insight into the mind of a Canterlot noble. Makes it somewhat easier to understand them, and what lies beneath the pompous display they put on in the show.
3292102 You're not the only one who got a little emotional, especially towards the end!
This was really good! Your usage of 2nd person was off putting at first but as the story unfolded it made sense. Bravo sir. Bravo.
3292005 Sad but true. "And when the nuclear fires finally die, and the last echoes of life disappear, the planet will heal itself. With time."
You do your namesake well with this story; having studied philosophy, I couldn't help but have flashbacks to Plato's Republic.
Have a thumbs up for this well executed 2nd person fic.
It's so hard for me to reconcile stories like this coming from the same person who upset me so much with the story about Nightmare Moon returning and enslaving Celestia. But that doesn't mean I don't enjoy these "lighter" ones.
I would love to see "me" send a correspondence to Canterlot, apologize, and what the response would be.
That was sweet (nothing else to say lol)
I say, old boy. A touching ficlet.
3292849
Because I think this deserves a response, I had in mind to give a long, logical explanation, but let it suffice to say this: My first and dearest love as a writer will always be the exploration of deep moral questions that will hopefully lead my readers to ask questions of themselves and their lives and how they might live them better in light of the answers to these questions. Through this, I hope that I can make the world a better place.
For a small time, I confess, I had lost sight of this goal, the prize for which I was striving, and hence I deviated down a road which I now shun. Yet I while I am ashamed of the way in which I conducted my work so recently, I am glad in part that it happened, because through it, I have now been reminded of my purpose. I at last remember why I push myself to work harder, why I punish my body and force it to do as I will and not what it wills. And in the realization of this purpose, I stand ready to make justice out of injustice and fair beauty out of mangled atrocity.
This was very good. His realization that what he did was wrong though, seemed a little incpmlete. I mean witholding tax was certainly wrong, but what bout that part where they took more than they were suppose to. All he did was take it back, ok technically that was theft, but c'mon I'd be pretty pissed at that too.
Good Princess Cadance looked out on the feast of Stephen
when the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even.
Brightly shone the moon that night, though the frost was cruel,
when a pony came in sight, gath'ring winter fuel.
3294818 Someone has to continue this. I am not that someone.
I am however the someone that will say this is one of the best, most insightful second-person stories ever written. I'm going to read your other one now and see how it measures up.
This story is absolutely fantastic, but, I'd like to see a story where a human starts off all joking, cheerful and trusting and, over time, devolves into a bitter, cold-hearted shadow of what he once was. I know there was a story like that somewhere, but I can't seem to find it.
Either way, 10/10
Beautiful. Great work.
3294618
This. Also, doesn't banishment seem like a harsh punishment for non violent "theft", especially in a sugar coated universe like this? Point is, it seems very odd and unsatisfying how he suddenly drops all anger and accepts all the blame, given the context.
No Rape?!
No Butthurt comment wars?!
No eating (unglazed
)Alcorn foals!?
well there goes my day
Guess who's gonna fave and like this??
We'll I was going to have to say the story was decent. But then I noticed the story was in 2nd person which is difficult and less recognized so props to you.
3297021 That's a good point actually, banishment does seem a bit harsh. Also they kinda publisized his banishment so no-one in the Crystal Empire would give him a job. I'm not sure it was explicitly stated that he was non-violent in his theft, but no violence was implied either. Overall it was very harsh and I kept hoping that Cadence would express some disappointment in her Aunts' treatment of him.
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
Nice use of the 2nd person POV, not many authors use it to tell stories... At least from what I've seen.
On another note; The Feels are too much!
3298766 3297021
I could make a long apology (legal defense) for my work here, but I'm simply going to state my undefended assertions, and leave you both to consider them.
1. Equestria is astoundingly similar to a Platonic republic, but that does not mean that either it or the universe in which it exists is "sugar-coated." The show has referred to and even displayed hostile military action against and by Equestria on numerous occasions. Yet moreover, the range of threats against the country are greater than we see here on earth. And finally, as I showed here, the Canterlot nobility are some of the worst elitists I've ever seen depicted.
2. This character didn't just commit non-violent theft. He stole from this princesses' royal treasury. The princesses are by all means god-queens at least in the political sense of the title. Stealing from them should warrant execution, and trying to thwart their purposes in enacting justice should have warranted further. I'd say this character got off easy, because the news of his exile wasn't intentionally spread. It was just an unfortunate byproduct of his punishment.
3299748 I see your point and I'm certainly not questioning how a guy could end up with his attitude. You're right in saying the Canterlot Elite are pricks, but I can't fair Celestia acting so harshly. Other than that point, I enjoyed this story, bit hard to follow at times but good.
The use of Second person was amazing. I have actually never read a story in second person before and it seemed kinda different but cool. The feels were great as I thought about every perspective on the situation.
The story was a little hard to follow as it is YOUR train of thought and not mine but 'twas a great story nonetheless.
Keep up the awesome work!
Sincerely,
Soulyman
The debate and conversion in the second half of this story is disappointing. Cadence's arguments are not very convincing. I find myself with lots of valid responses to her statements, yet rather than even trying to respond, the protagonist simply crumbles before weak arguments and concludes that she's right. It's an unsatisfying conclusion.
Like soulyman points out, the story presents his train of thought as being the reader's train of thought...and I just have a difficult time imagining being so weak minded and unable to give any responses to Cadence's statements. The protagonist either isn't trying very hard, or isn't smart enough to put up much of an argument. That diminishes the weight of Cadence convincing him.
3304010
Maybe the protagonist isn't as weak minded as you think. Maybe Cadance was using her magic to make him love her. Maybe the whole thing was a publicity stunt to quell others like the protagonist. Think on that.
Am I the only one reminded of the Charlie Chaplin "Greatest Speech Ever Made" speech?
No? Just me?
Nice fic, it really captures Cadence's kindness.
3319637
I may have been inspired by that piece as well when writing Cadence's backstory speech.
I would have crushed Cadence. She's working from an assumed position, that being that self-interest doesn't happen.
But if no Doctor got paid, and got the prestige, would they still practice medicine? Would they still practice if they got the same wages as some school-aged pony washing dishes?
What legal recourse can the ponies get from abusive rulers? She may not get any more money from good laws, but bad laws wont end with her saying 'hello' to Mr Guillotine's finest efforts either.
It was nice to see someone write her as something other than annoyingly bubbly. And actually have more than two brain cells huddled together for warmth.
I did like this story, I'm just feeling extra grumpy today.
So feel free to skip this comment.
Sorry.
3319654
I knew that there was a familiar feel there!
Loved your fic!
I don't mean to pimp a thread that I just made, but here is a compilation of kindness that inspires more kindness.
I hope that helps with similar one shots in the future.
3347246 3304010
As it appears to me, there are two types of people who read this story, which come to my attention. There are those who read this story as I intended and thus generally enjoy the story (though there certainly are exceptions. My work is not perfect), and there are those who read the story in a way that I did not intend. For the latter category, it appears to me that the whole of these are dissatisfied. Therefore, let me respond to this issue by clarifying my purpose.
First and foremost, let me clarify what this story is not. This story is not a treatise on political philosophy or ethics. I did not write this with the intention to exhort people to practice more faith in the intentions of government. Yet, as I have admitted, the bulk of the dialectic argument presented in this story by Cadence is taken not from my opinions but from those of Plato and his Republic. I am certainly aware that the reader might find one or several of the premises in the argument questionable, and through this, find the conclusions to be unsatisfying or lacking; however, I never intended to formulate some great indisputable proof for the conclusions here, nor do I even expect many readers at all to be completely swayed by the logic herein. I read Book I of The Republic, from which this argument is taken, and I myself was not entirely convinced. Therefore, although I would very much like to engage in a debate/dialogue on this subject of political philosophy, I will not offer any reply to any counterargument which is presented against Plato’s logic here.
Having established what my story is not, let me now explain my intentions and the theme of the story. My purposes for writing this story were twofold, but before one can understand them, they should consider that this is a part of a series of stories, each of which holds a similar set of goals. Like these other stories, I wrote this one in the second, person perspective in the present tense. This is wholly different from how a treatise or formal argument would be written, as they generally hold a third person, omnipotent perspective, and their verbs usually are conjugated in the past tense. In the use of this form, the writer assumes a position of absolute authority, because one cannot argue the feelings of a character external to themselves. But rather than try to assume absolute authority, I wrote this story with the intention to encourage readers to place themselves into a mindset, with which they were not familiar. Indeed, this is how I wish everyone would read every kind of story.
A good story is written in such a way that encourages the reader to project themself onto the main protagonist. That is to say that the reader imagines himself acting as the protagonist. The reader should place themself in the position and circumstances of the protagonist and ask, “What would I do in this situation?” Now inevitably and inescapably, there will always be a majority of people who would react differently if they were placed in these circumstances. Yet this is no reason to abandon this manner of reading altogether. Rather, it is indeed the very reason and the very purpose for why we should do this in the first place. In the comparison of our decisions that we would make and the decisions which the protagonist actually make, the reader can make two important discoveries.
The first of these is greater insight into themself. If the reader finds that they would react differently, they should ask, “Why would I react this way in this situation?” In the answering of this question, the reader likely will gain great insight into their thought process and thus gain a greater understanding of themself. But more important than this discovery is the second one. The answer to this question of why they would react differently will yield insight into their thoughts process, yet it will also yield insight into the thought process of the protagonist. It can be safely said that if one understands the thought process of themself and the protagonist, then they will certainly come closer to understanding the deeper meaning of any story, if they do not already see it through this process. The reader is forced to ask, “Why does the protagonist behave in this way?” The answer will likely be found in the story’s theme. Therefore, I never intended the story at all to be so immersive, that the reader would completely imagine himself as the main character; for if they totally and completely agreed with this outlandish and strange viewpoint, then all the value of the story would be lost. The reader would simply have wasted their time. In fact, I wrote this story with the both the hopes that, firstly, people would disagree with the main character and perhaps become annoyed by his acquiescence that they might contrast themself and gain greater insight. Secondly, I hoped that the discovery of the reason for the main character’s decisions might lead the reader to the main theme of the story.
This brings me to my second goal, and it is only through the accomplishment of the first goal that the reader will be able to grasp this second one. As I said, like the others, this is a second person story, written with the intention to encourage the reader to project himself onto the main protagonist. Yet unlike the other stories, this story features Princess Cadence. Thus, it should be clear that this story is, at its core, a character analysis. If one reads the story with the method I prescribed above, they will realize two things. Firstly, the main character, despite the firmness of his belief in his position, crumbles easily to Cadence’s arguments; and secondly, this owes partly to the fact that Cadence leaves little room for him not to. Her entire argument is composed of questions, which can be answered with little more than a “yes” or “no.” She does not simply convince the protagonist to accept her viewpoint. She imposes it on him; she leaves him no other option short of admitting to unreasonability (a truly unacceptable position). At no point does she leave any room for a counterargument. Now this is not to say that her argument is without fault simply because of its structure. Again the discovery of the absolute truth is not my aim here. What is important is that Cadence has the ability to impose her viewpoints on her subjects through what seems to her subjects as an indisputable truth.
Cadence is after all a princess, and she would hence be trained in rhetoric. We also know that she was a foalsitter at a time. Both of these jobs, princess and foalsitter require a great deal of ability in motivating people as well as exhorting them to behave. And in both of these jobs, in order to enact this ability, one must often be able to do so in such a way that the one being exhorted does not feel like he is being forced but rather they are making the decision on their own. Therefore, it should be clear to the reader that Cadence is an experienced expert in social engineering.
Now this term is often thrown around a great deal with a generally negative connotation. By my calling Cadence a social engineer, some readers might start to think that I am saying Cadence is a manipulative deceiver. However, this is not my intention either. Actually, from the study of computer science and similar fields in which social engineering is a commonly used term, we can find that the practice is not inherently immoral. In fact, social engineering, like any other skill, is amoral; it depends on how you use it. Hence, when we look at this ability of Cadence, I think it is insufficient to tie any moral value on her just yet. Let us consider also her other attributes before making a judgment.
I hoped that in the enacting of this ability, Cadence should make the reader (who should now be projecting themself onto the protagonist) to feel childlike. Rather than facing him like a debater against a debater, she holds him at her side, and indeed under her wing where the protagonist is enjoying her comforting warmth. When he is obstinate to comply, she patiently coaxes him, and when he becomes angry, she smiles and waits until he calms down. Overall, it should seem that she is very condescending. Yet there also should be a feeling of care emanating from her. As a social engineer, she imposes arguments on him that may even be fallacious, but nonetheless, she is able to bring him to a position that seems favorable for both of them because he wants to. She does this in a friendly and loving manner, just as if she were foalsitting Twilight. That is how she rules as a princess.
At the very last, I understand that this idea can be unsettling in ways. If you as a subject of hers are drawn into her manner of thinking by these arguments, then you are trusting in her, and believing that she is inherently good. Now in our present system of government (I am speaking to my fellow Americans), I think that this is probably a very foolish idea. One cannot trust in the goodness of a politician. That is why Americans claim that they are a democratic republic and not simply a republic. However, it is important to realize that the Equestrian government is wholly different, and indeed it is a remarkably similar one to that of Plato’s ideal, utopian state, in which the people entrust the government to their leaders, and even grant them the astounding privilege of lying. As Plato wrote, “The rulers of the state are the only persons who ought to have the privilege of lying, either at home or abroad; they may be allowed to lie for the good of the state.” The people trust that their leaders are inherently good. Finally, I once again do not intend to try answering this question of whether the Equestrian princesses can be trusted. I merely intend to make this clear. I leave that up to the reader to decide for themself. Yet I will also say that if one assumes that this Platonic system of government is in place, when is drawn to the fact that the princesses are like the philosopher-kings of The Republic, who rule with wisdom and goodness, looking out for the people with disregard to themselves.
Fucking Celestia though.
I really wanted to see this guy just say "point me to the next kingdom and I'll be on my way"