- Member Since 25th Sep, 2012
- offline last seen 7 hours ago
Pinkies Imagination
Reloading the Story Canon.
Pinkies Imagination
Joined 25th Sep, 2012 ·
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...Jeebus, you just submitted this and they already approved it?
Well, I guess it is interesting. Can't really say much because not much was given.
one person dislikes without reading
Why are so many of your stories in the All-OC's group when the mane six are listed as main characters, that group is for stories where all the important characters are OC's
3195786 Yeah, it always happens
3195790 lol, I thought it meant All-OC as in all stories that revolve around an OC
Hmm... Can't tell enough from just this, but I'll see where it goes
The thing that annoys me about many sci-fi futuristic space stories, books, tv shows and movies is that the military ranks, procedures and jargon are almost always completely American regardless of how little sense it makes in the context. Every military in the world has their own and the unified forces of the world would draw from many different sources, if not invent their own.
3195841 I live in Canada.... and I decided to use the ranks from America just it just seemed more fitting....
3195844
I would say otherwise, but you're the author (I'm actually also Canadian)
Ya think ya spammed this in enough groups?
3195931
I put this in some groups, a few others put them in others, I think Pinkie might have only put this story in one. It isn't him!
My record for a submitted story... 2 minutes. First time I ever posted a story was 8pm est. didn't get appoved 11am next day, so I post mine about 2am so it gets posted around 4ish so people see it... 2 minutes later... But memories aside, decent story. But for the love of god you need someone to review your chapters. I ain't the best but ill give it a whirl if ya want
3195991 Well I tried fixing it up a bit. I refrained from saying, SAID all the time. I also changed it around so it feels better to read.
I.E. (before) I said back to him with worry.
(after) I say back to him with a bit of worry in my voice.
3214110
Actually that ends up being a tense error. Said is past tense, say is present tense.
3214552 Yes I know, I was making the story present tense.
3214556
Ah, my bad then. Long as you don't flip-flop between them.
3214558 I won't. But I did try to add more ways to end someone talking with something other than said or asked.
3214564
Excellent. Don't forget how awesome action tags are.
"Gah! Why does everything have to be so frustrating?" The rough bark of the oak tree crumbled from the devastating kick.
3214578 Yep, also, the only reason it seems a bit slow or stale, is because I am making him look really loyal and hardened for his superiors. And when something happens (mlp involved) he will have certain reactions for it.
3214578 Does it feel a bit better now? Sorry if it's short or if I missed some grammar or something, I haven't been feeling to good lately.
(Speaking of chapter 2)
pretty good chapter I guess. Though I would try to separate the dates better. It's tough to tell if this is before, after, etc. It is a fairly good piece, and i think the only reason it has all those dislikes is from "group spam".. How do you do that? I literally havent touched groups ever, heheh
3254990
What exactly do you mean?
3257771 Like, you had the first chapter at this year, this time. Next chapter, you had it say it was the same year, different time. I, like, didn't know if the second chapter was before the first chapter (it had him teleported to equestria first chapter, but showed what happened earlier in the day in the second) or nothing happened the first chapter and he kept going about his life in the second
3258746 wait wtf... what???
WHEN did I say he TELEPORTED to Equestira? He is no where NEAR it yet.....
Closest thing to Equestria in chapter 1 would e when the weapon that was test fired nearly made impact with the moon.
Also, the time was easy to tell because chapter 1 they said early tomorrow. Chapter 2 he woke up early, and ran to go get the modifications done. Reason? Because he got promoted and can finally do it.... so it's clearly the day after chapter 1.
3259106 eh sorry, if i were you i'd put in a date or somethin. I mean, not trying to mean or anything, but sometimes readers get confused. One of the big things and author has to do is explain little but important details. Trust me meng, I have a story of my own after all
I like the idea of explaining the events leading up to the somehow appearing in equestria part of these kind of stories. Especially when the events are awesome. xD
What the hell was that.
pretty good, though I would combined some chapters. People prefer less pumped out large chapters than quick pumped out short ones. LIke, 1.5k words is where your good, though close is pretty good. This story has potential, just needs more.... words
3325674 I don't know what you mean....
3325457 Thanks!
interesting but boring start
3349169 Well... wasn't supposed to be an exciting start. Was meant to give him a bit of a background, and not just throw him into equestria in the first chapter. He get's into equestria in a few chapters. The first chapter and a half is story, next is combat, then equestria if u want to know
3349181 Honestly I enjoyed the fact that he wasn't in Equestria within the first chapter. It's nice to see a build up to him actually being there.
Looking forward to more of your work.
wow. two chapters? in one day? Awesomeness!
3351994 lol.... you should have seen my first two HiE's I have ever made. I put out like a chapter every 6 minutes. If you don't believe me ask some of my followers that have been here since the start.
3356280 I can prove that!
3328125 LOL MAN YOUR AWESOME :D THUMBS UP FOR U! AND A FAVORITE >:D
Ps. i'm gonna stalk u with princess moluna and princess molistia
*poker face*
We need more!
3449811
I like the AI.
YOLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really love your stories
3714207 Thanks!
I really appreciate any support 
YAY! An update!