Breakfast At Canterlot
I wake up in a bed far more comfortable than my own, surrounded by fluffy pillows, and wearing bandages all over my torso and wings. despite the fact that I only had wounds on my feathered appendages, they had practically mummified me. Of course, what else would you expect from a cartoon? Gilda was sleeping soundly in the next bed, on the other side of the room. I lay there, awake for a time, just thinking about the events of last night. Ember attacking the castle and kidnapping Luna, I still don't know how that turned out, the zoo animals going on a rampage after what is reportedly a troll smashing their cages open, Nightmare Octave being beaten, Knight stealing my catchphrase.
"Ugh, what a night. Blood hangover." I slowly climb out of bed, find a washroom to relieve myself, and splash water on my face. Looking in the mirror of the bathroom in the five star accommodations at the castle, I notice I have a nice little scar above my left eye.
"Heh, now I'll get ALL the ladies."
"Hey Grif, you up?" Gilda calls from back in the bedroom.
"Yeah, just cleaning myself up." I start undressing my bandages to find that while they were blood soaked, the wounds had healed over nicely. "Heh, healing magic, I love you." I walk back into the bedroom to find her laying there, covers half off, with a sultry look on her face.
"You coming back to bed?"
"As much as I'd love to, we really ought to go check on everyone else. I remember Trixie getting shot by some magic.... Knight getting burned, Aoi going through a wall......"
"How about after breakfast first?" She suggests. Both our stomachs growl, and with awkward smiles, we agree.
"Breakfast."
"I'll just be a couple minutes myself, you head on down and try not to get lost. It's a maze in here."
I walk out the door and stretch myself out, and spot several tags on the doors in this hallway. Trixie, Nadene, Maria, Aoi, and several others. Apparently, after I passed out from exhaustion, they dressed my wounds and hauled everyone to the castle lodgings for the night. I knock on Aoi's door.
"Hey! You in there?" I hear muffled muttering before the door opens and a very scraggly looking wolf comes out and leans on the doorpost.
"Sleep well Griffin?" He asked.
"Yeah, after that mess, I was out like a light. Gilda didn't seem to happy about me passing out, judging by the way she wanted me to 'come back to bed' this morning." I replied.
"As for me, the second hangover I've had... although not a stranger to it, it never gets any easier..."
"Lucky you, my head is still pounding from tossing out so many spells last night. At least I didn't fry my brain like last time. Seizures aren't fun. We're heading down for breakfast, you coming?"
"Yeah, I'll let Eol and Ubi sleep in a bit, they deserve it..."
"Should we wait for Knightmare? I have to wait for Gilda to wake up completely anyways."
"Yeah, sure..." Aoi went back in his room to get dressed. Gilda comes out and throws her arm around me.
"We gonna eat or what?"
"Just waiting for Aoi."
At that moment, Aoi comes out fully dressed, and Knightmare moonwalks past us wearing a pink towel around his waist. "G'mornin dudes!"
"You're feeling chipper today aren't you?" The wolf states more than asks.
"How can I not? We may not have DONE anything but..... I slept with the mare of my dreams, had the best sleep I've had in years, and all after THE Party to end all parties! Plus, for the first time in too long, I'm NOT breaking my own knees trying to walk around!" He starts dancing around, still wearing the frilly pink towel. "I feel lighter than air!"
"Maybe it's because you have wings?" I snicker at Aoi's comment.
"No, I checked my weight, I'm only 42 pounds now." He explains. Aoi cracks his neck and starts complaining about the beds, causing me to think he's crazy. I mean, those beds are fantastic!
"Had ANYONE told me I'd weigh that, say, a month ago? I'd have called them a liar. I weighed, a smidge over two weeks ago, 369 pounds....and ......I see I'm not the only one with someone to cuddle up too." He turns and bows to Gilda, "Milady, pleased to finally meet you in person."
"Yeah, quit with the high class crap though, it's annoying." She replies with a scowl.
"Wait, you were 370 pounds? Ha! Fatty!"
"Fine! I'm gonna go get breakfast." He just keeps moonwalking down the hall, with a pout on his face, glaring at us. I notice Aoi looking at us, although confused, rather than indignant. Celestia comes out and glares at me.
"And what's wrong with being a healthy weight?" She's looking down at me, quite miffed.
"Healthy for a pony or a griffin maybe, but for a human? You wouldn't walk, you'd roll. There is such a thing as 'too healthy'." She gives me a glare, but then moves on, having lost the argument. Aoi turns his attention back to me.
"So, I take it she's your mate then?"
"Yep." I lean into her, making her fall off balance for a moment. "That she is." He turns to Gilda.
"Quite a catch, isn't he?"
"You have no idea."
As Gilda, Aoi and I made our way down to the dining hall, not getting lost due to the highly appreciated guidance of Twilight and her friends who had also slept at the castle, our jaws dropped at the massive spread before us. A plethora of vegetarian goods all laid out before us just waiting to be eaten. Knightmare immediately screamed "Bacon!", shapeshifted to a human form, and dove for the plate.
"It's not bacon, it's a high-grade copy made of vegetarian materials. The esteemed head chef managed to create a spice which replicates the flavor through magically transmuted memories I....... borrowed." Celestia explains. Knightmare carefully takes a piece and begins to eat it, rather slowly in fact, then gives two thumbs up. "Tastes like real, apple smoked bacon!"
I take my seat and look around. "I don't get what the big deal is. It's just bacon. Have any fish?" Knightmare just about drops dead at my statement. He begins twitching.
"But....but....BACON! You can't just say NO to BACON! It's....it's....ah fuck it, more for me!"
"I'm impressed, even down to kaiseki cuisine... But, how did the chefs know how to make all this?" Aoi asks after examining the food. Celestia smiles.
"It's a secret."
"Well, no use wondering about it, most of the things in this world don't make much sense anyway..." He pulls out a pair of chopsticks in preparation of the meal to come.
"Seriously though, no fish? Not even shellfish? This sucks." I pout. Celestia smiles at me.
"Perhaps next time you'll put a little more thought into your letters....." You...... bitch...... I look around as everyone piles food on their plates, then gets ready to dig in, and stops.
"Should we say a prayer?" Knight asks. Celestia, Luna, and Aoi look confused. As am I.
"To who? I mean, Celestia is right here...... Unless you mean ours?" He nods. I fold my claws and close my eyes, and then give sincere thanks.
"Lord, thank you for sending me to Equestria. I've found friends, a lover found me, and I'm finally working through my emotional problems. Everything is wonderful, except not having meat, but who am I to complain? Also, would it be too much to ask for some fish?" I've never been one of those 'I am not worthy, ooooooh' people, more of a relaxed spiritual relationship. Kinda explains why I'm able to joke around with the princesses.
"Not all good things come at the cost of another's life Griffin...." Celestia says with a scowl before picking up a doughnut.
"You've CLEARLY never had deep fried fish then."
"Griffin, try some of the seabream." Aoi points his chopsticks at a plate, and I grab some bits of it and eat it cautiously.
"Well, it tastes kind of like it, but, it's just not the same."
Celestia pauses in her doughnut eating race with Knightmare, then turns to me. "You fight a war to liberate the griffons, because you think it is wrong for the dragons to use them as a food source despite their lack of other sources. Yet you feast on the bodies of countless innocent creatures for no reason other than that it's fun?"
"Yeah, but FISH and CLAMS aren't SENTIENT."
"I'm quite sure most dragons feel the same way about griffins and diamond dogs."
"Kind of hard to think that's possible when they're screaming 'Please! No! I have a wife and family!' while you eat them." I retort in anger. Knightmare stops eating as well.
"The thing is," He smacks down some more pastry, "when you're an omnivore, your body NEEDS things that you simply cannot get from a purely plant diet. And let us not get started on CARNIVORES."
"Perhaps they scream and you simply think yourself too far above them to hear it?" She offers.
"If that's the case, then you're just as bad with plants. How do you know THEY don't have emotions? In fact, a scientific study has shown that many plants react to stimulus in a conscious way. See that apple? You're eating it ALIVE. You monster." I shoot back.
"Actually, an apple is just the ovary of a tree..." Knight states.
"ENOUGH!" Aoi slams his bowl on the table, quieting our argument. He sighs, "Breakfast isn't a good time to discuss the consciousness of our food now is it? It's disrespectful to both the food and others."
"Agreed, I don't want to know if my hay bacon is screaming at me." The changeling shudders. "I just KNOW I'm gonna have nightmares from this."
"Once, a person asked me how I could stand to eat meat, knowing I was eating the life of another. Do you know what I said to him?" Aoi begins. Great, here comes the philosophy major....... We all just give him a blank stare.
"I kept on eating, at the end, I folded my hands and said 'Gochisousama'. He asked me what it means... What do you think it means?"
"Thank you for your sacrifice, young soul." Celestia states. Aoi nods.
"It never left my mind that to feed another, a living thing has to die, the best we can do is show our respect, appreciate what sustenance it gives us, no matter how small it is." A rage starts to build in the pit of my stomach. They all think themselves so much better than me, don't they?
"Forgive me, I did not mean to imply that one should live to a standard not their own. I merely wished to convey upon Griffin the seriousness with which he should treat a life, even one as small as that of an ant." She says humbly, which further builds my fury. It's like they're talking down to me. Who the fuck do you all think you are?
"Unlike most humans I knew, I never hunted, neither for sport not for enjoyment. I don't want to ever have to kill another living being unless I absolutely have too..." Knightmare added. And now the bastard changeling adds his piece. They all think they're better than me, like I'm some heartless beast.
"Don't you think I know that?!" I screamed as I stood, slamming my hands on the table. "Do you think the faces of those I kill don't haunt me in my dreams? Don't you think I regret EVERY SINGLE ONE! Everyone has a family, friends! Do you know how many lives I've ripped apart? And I'm not talking about the dead. Even yesterday, Ember, the dragon who attacked your sister, came and vowed revenge on me because I killed her father, and HE was trying to EAT ME!" They all just sat there in silence at my outburst. I sat back down and let my arms drop.
"The point is, for every life I have taken, for every drop of blood spilled, there are those who will curse my name till they day they die, and continue to do so long after."
"So, what now? Will you let your past haunt you?" Aoi asks. "Or will you meet it with sword brandished, ready to cut it down and move on?"
"Both. I can't leave it behind, because I can never escape it. Even if I free the griffins and make a new nation, I'll never be able to sleep at night, if not by guilt, then by fear of an assassin, come to take vengeance. I can never forget my what I've done.... but I'm not going to let it stop me either. I said once before, I am a BAD PERSON. The things I do are necessary, but that doesn't make them any less wrong." Nobody at the table says a word, until Aoi get's a grin on his face.
"That's the spirit. Take it one step further... What will you do if Ember faces you head on?"
"Well, seeing as how she beat the stuffing out of Luna...... if I face her head on...... I'm gonna die.
"Give her a kiss and ask for forgiveness!" Knightmare says, taking my form and making a 'kissy face'. I throw a plate at him, then drop my head to the table.
"Knightmare, remember, this is Griffin we're talking about." Aoi points out.
"True."
"If you do die.... die knowing you died fighting, and that you died doing what's right by you..."
"That's only if I face her head on. Who said I'd even do that? I'm a pirate. I lie and I cheat. I don't play by the rules. Notice how she didn't have wings, despite being bigger than Shimmer who's starting to grow hers in? She can't fly, and I can. What's to say I don't just run away, or stab her in the back? I'm more mobile than she is, I can avoid her as long as I want. Still, that doesn't change the fact that she's hunting me. I just hope she doesn't find a way to take the upper hand." I returned to my depressed brooding, with Gilda rubbing my back, when an incredibly peppy voice rang through the dinner hall.
"Hey Cap'n!" I hear a voice call. I look up and see my crew had entered the room while my forehead was getting acquainted with the table. I see Maria entering, pushing a covered food cart.
"Hey guys." I reply, depressed.
"Cheer up grumpy, everyone is fine, Freud fixed Trixie up, so she'll be out of the hospital soon and we can take care of her on the ship, and you can't stay upset when I brought your faaaavorite food." She says while rubbing my crest. I instantly perk up.
"You mean..."
"Yep! Battered perch, drenched in strained mango juice!"
"Please tell me you didn't catch that in the Canterlot gardens....." Celestia groans.
"Of course not! We caught it in Kowabunga Lake on Signal Island. We kept it on ice for a special occasion."
"Oh, good. I was worried there might be...never mind. Please, enjoy your meal." She relaxes.
"Maria how did you know?"
"Well, I know about how you were sticking to fruit and veggies while in Equestria, so your iron levels were already low. Combine that with the blood loss from yesterday, and its no wonder you passed out. Because of that, Nadene suggested we feed you meat to get your iron levels back up, since you can't get it from pony foods, and, since fish is socially acceptable, not to mention you like it so much, I decided to go all out. You need to get your strength back, sooner you eat up, the sooner you'll stop being so tired and irritable. You should be getting some rest anyways. You weren't hurt that bad, but you should still take it easy."
"Thanks sport. This will just about make my day." I nearly cried as I ate, so delicious. Gilda pretty much inhaled hers as well. The rest of the crew took from both the cart and the table for a mixed diet, and began eating heartily. I smiled at the guilty look on Celestia's face as she hung her head, deep in thought, no longer competing with Pinkie and the transformed Knightmare in an eating contest.
'I bet you feel really bad now don't you? You should. Bitch.'
Once we had finished our meals, we all patted our stomachs, satisfied.
"Well, we best be headed back to the ship for some shuteye. We rescheduled the concert to tonight, and I don't want to pass out halfway through."
"I thought you got a good night's rest, or, was there something that kept you up?" Aoi asked.
"No, I slept fine."
"Then how are you going to sleep now?" Knightmare asks. Gilda gives me a sultry smile.
"Well, since he's still recovering, he should be fine, but if not, I'm sure we can find SOMETHING to do to burn off all that energy." Aoi gives a chuckle while Celestia puts on a knowing smile, and the changeling just looks at us confused. Gilda winks at him and throws her arm around me, and his eyes shoot wide open in realization.
"Wha...... no. Hell no! Since when?"
"Two.... maybe three months ago?" I answer.
"That much hate should NOT be reproducing." And then he storms out of the room, thoroughly disgusted. Aoi puts on a lecherous grin.
"All hands on deck captain."
"Ha ha, very funny. Are you sure you should be talking like that with Rainbow Dash sitting right across the table?" He looks to see the mare with a nasty case of bed-head raise an eyebrow at us. She glances back and forth between Gilda and I before she finally gets it, not having paid attention to the conversation as she ate wearily.
"Oh...."
"I'm sure she already knows." He takes another bite.
"Well, let's get going. Aoi, be gentle with her alright?"
Twilight and the others nearly choke on their food at what I'm suggesting, Fluttershy turns beet red at the mention, and Rarity getting a look of scandal on her face. Aoi was just about to say something when I flew out the open window towards the ship, laughing the whole way, my crew following close behind.
I arrived on the ship and flopped in my bed, Gilda laying next to me, as I relax to properly digest my meal, when I burp out a scroll in green flame.
Griffin,
We need to talk. I will meet you after your concert tonight.
Princess Celestia.
"Hmph. I don't wanna."
"She was pretty bitchy at breakfast... I mean, what was her problem? Pegasi eat fish too. I've seen Dash eat one whole. She ended up choking on the bones and swearing off them for good, but the looks on the other flight camp kid's faces were priceless."
"Yeah..... probably just 'that time of millenium'..... no point in worrying about it right now. Let's get some shuteye."
First
Second
Your story I've been meaning to comment on: I loved this story since the beginning. I've loved it to death. Its always given me that feeling of anticipation, Making me think "When's the next one?". When readers think that, your doing quite an excellent job. I've show it to my friend, and now then he's frickin' addicted to it. Keep up the good work! WWWWWWRRRRRRYYYY!
While I don't care for discussions about the things we eat, especially over breakfast, the thing about the apples made me laugh my ass off.
Fifth!
More more more! Pleeeease~
Was about to go to sleep, Saw that a new chapter had been posted, saw that it was Griffin the Griffin . Buck sleep read now.
Reading the chapter and arriving at the argument between Celly and Griff
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The only thing i can think of.
Otherwise, goood chap.
Will we ever find out what happened to Luna? I really want to know.
Ah, the age old 'Is it okay to eat animals?' arguement. I can't help but turn to my own philosophy, which goes thusly:
Yes.
Natural selection, Bitch-lestia, the strongest get to eat the weakest. As a god, she probably shouldn't be arguing against harmonious nature. The downside of this philosophy is that I am perfectly fine with an animal eating me...if it manages to kill me. Considering the massive advantage of human social protection, I think I'm pretty safe
Wonderful chapter, really shows how Griffin differs from some of the other characters and sets him apart from the myriad of Chess Pieces. Many of them have ridiculous super powers and are insane in some way or another (Usually voices in their heads) but with Griffin you actually feel like he has justification for his powers/insanity.
Ha! 'that time of millenium'
Also you spelled millennium wrong.
983262 Pretty soon, it's not gonna be enough anymore.....
Ahm jus sayin...
Celestia is going to hate Jon,
*looks at Braeburn-apple in hand*
*puts it down*
Yeah... not eating for the rest of my life sounds good...
-Glassed
But it's always that time of milleniu.. minelen... millennium
*Midnight
"Ugh. That was a whole lot of destruction. Walls, windows, food, vomit, blood, and lots of craters." *
Sits.
"Well, the hall looks presentable at least, good enough to move around in. Wouldn't want to renovate the entire place, that would be too suspicious. Just enough to be safe. They can do whatever they want with the designs. Now where should I dump the excess rubble? I think I'll make them into blocks and send it to a quarry. Vomit appears to be mostly useless, so I'll either vaporize or trash them. Now for a quick nap..."
*Pulls out a pixelated shovel and digs a burrow in the gardens, and then seals the opening with dirt blocks.
"Time for the Where's-Waldo of Equeistria: Where's-Luna? She did a good job of hiding during Season-2"
Please come meet the ruler of the world
no
Ladies and Genelcolts
Blackwing
Now I'm hungry.
Also as for the whole plant thing...
I know they're sentient. I've touched plants that immediately recoiled, knowing I was there and moving to protect their leaves. (It was a mimosa at the local conservatory.) I've seen plants die from neglect, and flourish when one does nothing but sing to them.
But that doesn't mean we shouldn't eat them. If you remember from your biology class, only 10% of the energy of a being moves up a trophic level when eaten. That means that when you eat meat, you're eating roughly 10x the amount of plant matter. Not to mention that a lot of the plants humans eat can be removed without harming the host, (fruit and nut trees) or come from plants that only live one year anyway. (cucumbers and tomatoes)
Don't even get me started on how animals raised for food are treated. Google at your own risk.
That is one of the reasons we say grace before a meal. We thank the Lord for the food, because for us to eat it, something had to die. And in doing so, we acknowledge that sacrifice directly to the Creator, who can probably console the now-dead whatever far better than we can. We also look forward to the day when, "The wolf shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the young goat, and the calf and the lion and the fattened calf together; and a little child shall lead them." -Isaiah 11:6, ESV You've probably heard this misquoted as, "the lion shall lie down with the lamb."
The death rate is 100%. Better to die for a purpose than to die of something stupid, like a falling coconut.
An update? about food too? and Sarcasticness?(is that a word?)
WOOOHOO AINT NO PARTY LIKE A PINKIE PIE PARTAAAAAAAAAY!
"Yeah..... probably just 'that time of millenium'"
LOOOOOOL!
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Looks like Knightmare didn't get his regular dose of...
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Woah Griffin I also can't see you all the way up their on your moral high ground.
Why is Celestia the only one without a hangover?
And then suddenly: PTSD!
if a girls says ''we need to talk'' than
A: you got your self a foal. (explane that to knightmare)
B: breaking up with you(let her know you broke up with her)
C: asks for a longer chain(step A had a tail)
D: marriage *shudder* (loosing the lust and end up having only the burdens)
983796 Maybe Bitch-Lestia is her version of a hangover.
1. Loved the whole reaction to Maria bringing in the perch.
2. In the words of myself "I was hungry so I ate it." Argue with that logic Celestia.
Thirty-first.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Spike_lolface.png
Oh yea what is your plan for heading into Gem Fido as I'm pretty sure you have to fly over the everfree to get there from canterlot. Anyway just asking so I know to mention a flying boat going over Ivan's domain.
Yaaaaaaaaaay! New chapter!
I wonder what Celestia wants to talk about...
And what did Griffin mean by, "Time of the millennium"? I've never heard that saying before.
I remember a while ago you said this story was only going to be 75 chapters. . .
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984046 That time of the month, but she's an immortal, so it's a joke.
LUUUNAAAAA!!!!!! What became of LUNA!!!!
984074 Yeah, it's gonna be more like 200 now.......
984178 She shows up soon enough, fully healed.....
damn i want more....... you know im half tempted to just not check fimfiction for a month or two.
Hmm Pegasi are omnivorousness I like it good chapter cant wait for the next
Actually, I would be fine with going out via murderous animal. Mostly because it would likely bleed out after i got killed by it. When in woods, always carry razor sharp 12-inch Rambo knife/gun.
Edit: and if i get 30 minutes to tell freinds and family as a ghost NOT to go hunt down the animal, and that i am happy to go out doing what i love.
Hay Bacon strips!
Hay Bacon strips!
Hay Bacon strips!
Hay Bacon strips!
Hay Bacon strips!
Hay Bacon strips!
Hay Bacon strips!
Hay Bacon strips!
983300 If you are thinking about ending this series in the next 100 chapters "I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull fuck you!" - Sgt. Hartman
"But....but....BACON! You can't just say NO to BACON! It's....it's....ah fuck it, more for me!"
...You may be a noob Knightmare, but your opinion on breakfast is a win.
The big deal is that bacon makes everything better. It is just one of those things. You don't question it, somehow it is true. Plus bacon is awesome.
And that's what you get for dissing bacon. Maybe next time you will know not to belittle it.
I loved this chapter.
And unbeknownst to all save the princesses and various members of the guard, Marty has been in the barracks the entire time with his horn of plenty... He's just had a monster case of food poisoning from eating too much broccoli.
46th
I ate all of your fish
My philosophy for this Griffin Celly argument: I eat food. Fish is food. I eat fish.
Carry On
I tend to think about it like Aoi. For one to live another must die. It's the way of the world. One should not deny their nature, but accept it.
P.S. 49th
As I have recently found employment as a butcher assistant, who just today had to slit a dying steer's throat with a knife, and having often contemplated the question before, I say yes that eating meat is fine. I mean, we humans need both flesh and vegetables and fruit in our diet. Our big brains pretty much exist only because our ancient ancestors managed to get their ape shit together and begin eating more protein, resulting in bigger and bigger brains. So in summation, I cannot wait for the day that it is declared plants have the sensation of pain present. Then what are we going to eat? Sand?
Also, Ghlaghee! (Pronounced 'FLUFFY')
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I can't wait to see Celestia's eating argument when she meets my CGotG character. its gonna end badly.