Too Peaceful (7)
Too Peaceful
"So Gilda, you in?"
"Ah what the hell, sure. It's not like I had anything better to do." She replied.
"That's the spirit!" It's funny, when you don't care what happens to yourself, you suddenly become capable of great things. It's because you're willing to take a shot that you never would have thought about before, for fear of failing.
"Oh, first things first, we have some very drunk ponies to deal with."
"I am NOT laying down next to them." She was quite firm.
"Well, then I guess I'll have to. It's way too good an opportunity to pass up." I said, laying down next to the mare who had been calling for help before. She had passed out shortly after we saved them, as did the rest, so nobody overheard the plan.
"I can't believe you're actually gonna do it. It's way too embarrassing." Gilda was wide eyed at the fact that I was actually gonna go through with my plan.
"Yeah, but we know the truth, they don't because they're drunk. It's gonna be way more embarrassing to them. If you're too much of a wimp, just go stand over there to watch their reactions." I said, putting my wing over the dark pink pony, (just a shade lighter than Cherilee) Calling Gilda a wimp was a sure way to get her to go for it. Again, social engineering for the win.
"Okay, fine, but I'm gonna get you for this later." She said, laying on the sand.
"I know you will."
We stayed the rest of the night. I had the two mares under my wings, and Gilda had the two stallions under hers. Using our wings like blankets kept the drunks warm on the cold sand. Gilda kept glaring at me for making her do it, but I grinned at her with my trademark stupid smile, telling her it would all be worth it when they woke up, which they did come morning.
"Ow, man my heeeaaaaad." The first stallion awoke.
"Man, that was some party huh." The second one waking up.
"It sure was fun *Hic*" said one of the mares, still a little drunk.
"Let's do it again next week." Said the other mare. The four earth ponies started getting their senses back, and realized that they were covered in feathers. I nodded to Gilda that now was the time to put the plan into action.
"Well hello handsomes." She said in a sultry tone. They suddenly went wide eyed.
"Hey gorgeous and beautiful, I had a wonderful time last night." I said, standing up and pushing the two mares together gently with my claws. They were still a little tipsy, so they didn't quite know what was going on. I put my head between theirs, letting them feel my soft feathers. "You two were great." I whispered.
They suddenly figured out what must have happened, and jumped away from me. They started running in circles like mad mares.
"Shall we go another round?" Gilda asked the stallions. They jumped as well, and ran to their mare friends.
"AHHHHHHHH. Us, with HER, You, with HIM. Us, with THEM!" They started freaking out. Gilda and I fell over laughing at the bunch of idiot ponies. They bought it, hook, line, and sinker.
"You were all just soooooo persuasive, we couldn't help ourselves!" I laughed.
"You two wanted me at the same time!" Gilda scoffed.
One of the mares walked up to us.
"You think *hic* this is funny? Taking advan... advan.... advantage of us poor helpless mares in our moment of weakness?" Said the pink one.
"You were hardly helpless, I could barely keep you off me." I said smiling.
"And us! We were, umm, seduced by your friend. We'd never do something like that!" The stallions were trying to make up excuses.
"Hey Gilda, should we let them in on it?"
"Yeah, I guess so, we've had our fun." She said, laughter slowly dying down.
I explained what really happened, how they had gotten drunk off their asses, wandered all the way here, and almost got sent to a life of slavery by some diamond dogs.
"We decided to have a little fun with you, and make you think you did that with us, so you'd think twice about getting so drunk next time. Do you know what would have happened if we hadn't been here?"
"Yeah, so we woulda been caught, but princess Celestia wouldn't leave us hanging." One of them said.
"Yes, she would have. You wandered off. Heck, it could be MONTHS before anyone realized you weren't coming back. And once they did eventually realize you were missing, they'd have no idea where you went. Princess Celestia is busy with royal duties. She can't just go off on a wild pony chase. As for guards, even if they did figure out where you were being held, there's no way that a bunch of ponies, not used to combat, could take on a whole pack of Diamond Dogs on their home turf, underground. Face it. Because you decided to get wasted, you almost lost your freedom."
"Then why'd you save us?" Another questioned.
"Gilda?"
"Because I know about slavery all too well. I was taken to Gem Fido as a child. I escaped, and fled to Equestria, leaving my whole family behind. Nobody should be a slave, especially not just for having a wild night. You ponies live in your little utopia, and have no idea about the real world. Just because Equestria is all sunshine and rainbows, doesn't mean the rest of the world is. In the Dominion, we have to fight, just to survive, just to live free. Every day, we face slavery by the dogs, and death by the dragons. You have your little paradise, and the rest of the world rots. You don't know anything, and that's why I can't stand you. Let's go." She motioned to me, and she took to the air.
"You better head home you four. Those dogs might still be creeping around somewhere, and we won't be around to save you. I suppose since we're headed in the same direction, you could just follow us for a bit, but we'll end up leaving you behind eventually." I took off as well, the black scale flashing the sunlight.
"Well, that went well. We got to humiliate some ponies, then humiliate them again, and we finally changed em for the better. Personally, I hate drunks. My dad was one, and it wasn't pretty. I finally learned what happened to you too."
"I don't want to talk about it." She said with a glare.
"I don't blame you at all. We both have pasts we'd rather forget, but I CAN forget mine, since it was in a different world. You can't. And that's a raw deal."
We flew for a while, and crossed the Equestrian border. As soon as they passed it, everything felt different. It was like the sun shone brighter, the grass was greener, the air was warmer, or cooler, all depending on what you wanted from it. The ocean was a brighter blue, and all the smells that hung in the air were pleasant. A small tingle could be felt. It was as if it wasn't even part of the planet, like the ring sea had originally gone all the way around, and a magic meteor crashed, making the country. It felt like a completely different world.
'Oh look, happy, playful little ponies, all going about their daily lives, not a care in the world. Reminds me of Pinkie Keen, when she was just rolling in the grass, humming, to pass the time. It's actually really annoying. Hold on, stop. I'm thinking like a bully now. I'm mad at them because they're happy? What the hell is wrong with me? Isn't this what I wanted to come to Equestria for in the first place? Wasn't this kind of bliss the goal? Geez, I'm almost like Gilda.'
"Let's keep moving, the air here is too sweet. Let's head into town, we need to get some stuff anyway."
Manehatten, the Equestria version of Manhatten, The Big Apple, New York, whatever other names you want to call it.
"Oh look Gilda, snobs who think they're better than everyone else! Isn't this place wonderful?" I love sarcasm.
"Uggh, don't remind me."
"Well, as much as I love meat and fish, I think I'm in the mood for some fruit, gotta pawn off these gems though, and since this place is all high brow, we'll get a better price than most anywhere else. I'm not sure of prices and conversion rates, so I'll need you with me for the economics. We go in, I put the gems on the table and shut up, you do all the talking."
"Got it." She acknowledged.
On entering the gem traders, we saw a great many high class 'hoity toity' looking ponies, glancing around for something that caught their eye. Apparently, that something was me. I didn't get it.
"Ahh, welcome monsieur et madame, right zis way si vous plait. The owner said in the heaviest, fakest french accent I've ever heard.
"What can Pierre do for you today? Perhaps a lovely dia-monde for zee special geirl?" Uggh, he was pissing me off. Gilda too. She looked like she was ready to snap his neck. Change of plans.
"Actually, Pierre, it's not what you can do for us, it is what we can do for you, if you catch my drift." I raised an eyebrow at him, Gilda calmed down. Pierre smiled.
"Ah, yes, come zis way please, to zee VIP room, first one on zee left."
"What happened to you shutting up and letting me do the talking?" She asked.
"You looked like you were gonna lose your cool. I was gonna shut up, AFTER I put the gems on the table, but I've got a feeling he's gonna railroad us. Besides, I hate these high class types. This could work to our advantage. You go for the intimidation route, and he'll me much more inclined to deal with me, since I'll come off as more reasonable, and that way, we can get a better price. I just need you to make sure he doesn't try to rip us off. You took a look at the prices as we came in right?" I asked.
"Yeah." She replied.
"Good, if he tries to give us anything less than half for gems of comparable size and quality, we walk. If he goes for half, we work him up to 65%" I'd never done this before, but again, movies. Since this was technically a T.V show, they probably have the same characteristics.
"Now, what iz eet zat you came to talk with Pierre?" Ok, I'm putting an end to this right now.
"Pierre, drop the accent. You're not fooling anybody, and it's just making things harder on all of us."
"Oh thank Celestia, I hate having to keep that up. Most often clients prefer to deal with a 'cultured' pony. I have to wear an air of high society, so I don't let on that they're dealing with a sleeze." Suddenly he realized what he said and stuffed his hoof in his mouth.
"Oh, I already know you're a cheat, that's why I've brought my associate, to make sure things go smoothly" He eye'd Gilda, who crossed her arms and gave a scowl. This was going to work out rather well. I got him to admit that he'll try to rip us off, which I didn't know for certain, and now he KNOWS I know, so he'll be more inclined to NOT try it. Of course, he still will, but just to much less of a degree.
I put the bag on the table, and opened it to reveal a load of bright, shiny gems, all of varying sizes and type. He looked at each closely, and Gilda watched him to make sure he didn't try anything funny. He knew she was watching, otherwise while he held a gem with his magic, he'd try to slip one off the table with his hoof.
"Hmm, for all these, I'll give ya 1500 bits."
'1500? That sounded like a lot, but then again, we were dealing with gems here.' I turned to whisper to Gilda, and he moved his hooves. She slammed her claws on the table, grabbing them, not letting them move at all. She whispered to me, I scooped up the gems, and stood up.
"Goodbye Mr. Pierre, I am sorry to have wasted your time." I said, beginning to walk out.
"Alright, 2000." He said, Gilda still holding his hooves. I looked at him, and raised an eyebrow.
"Okay, fine, 3000, and not a single bit more." He was desperate.
"3500, and we forget all about you trying to rob us just now." I knew where to apply pressure.
"Fine, 3500." He wasn't too happy about it.
"Thank you very much Pierre, it was nice doing zee business with you." I laughed. Gilda finally let go of his hooves. He handed us the bits, which we counted three times, and made sure each piece was legitimate. I didn't think he'd try counterfeiting, but this was just to add the extra intimidation, as we slowly counted them out, and checked each coin. He was sweating. We passed him his gems, and walked out. We took to the skies, because we didn't want the ponies on the ground to see us laughing our asses off.
"Even in a utopia, we can still find a den of slime and villainy. I guess Equestria isn't too peaceful after all."
Dear Princess Luna,
Is the moon made of cheese?
Sincerely, Griffin.
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intresting.
also, trolling luna. nice.
The moon is made of blocks, why wouldst thou think it cheese?
hmmm I decare......... CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I like it. Displaying Equestria less like a gleaming jewel than it first appears.
Also I was more pleased to see Gildas attitude explained. I mean I know about everything else that has been built up to but I enjoyed seeing the almost instinctual bitterness from Griff at the total one sided balance in the quality of life.
I will also enjoy the royal sisters reactions to the letters. I mean they can't exactly hunt down every griffin in the world and ask if they write them annoying letters right?
I look foward to more.
255557 I guess the reason why I can do characters well, is because when I make their reactions and dialogue, I actually get inside their heads, or more accurately, they get inside mine. I write a scene, then read it, playing it in my mind like it's a movie. If something one of the characters does seems awkward, or Out Of Character (OOC) I rewrite that part, and play it over again. I read each chapter about 6 times before publishing it, and given my update speed, that's pretty impressive. That also means that when I'm reading it, I put myself in the position of the main character. In the latest chapter of Ascended, I put myself in his position. I WAS Nightshade, and I watched it all happen. Its a little tactic I came up with to make reading less boring. It's how I read all stories. If you don't already do it, try it.
I'm new here but i believe the term is...
MOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111!!!!!!1ONE!!!!!
-Dear Princess Celestia,
Bananas, do you like them?
Sincerely, Griffin.-
IDK, I think you should add a little letter thing at the end of each chapter now or at least while they are in pony land....
Dear Princess Luna
Did you eat the cheese-moon for sustenance when Celly got mad at you?
Sincerely, Griffin.
P.S.
257249 Dats da plan.
love the 3 last chapters, the comedy was relay good got a few really good laughs out of it.
and the letter in the end was a fun little twist, hope we gett to see how they respond/react to them in the future
Lol I love this story :) tracked. Looking forward to next update.
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hiatus noooooooooooooooo y u appear here
I don't know if you'll use this but I got some ideas that could help with the story. I'm a rising author myself as I have one story out on FF.net I might be able to help you. It mostly involves later in the story and an OC of mine, but you don't have to use him if you don't want to. I'll avoid puting the idea here as you might not want it so if you do just PM me and I'll give you more details.
Great story by the way, loving every moment of it. Sad to see it on hiatus.
You only seem to stop writing a story when you have an idea... so what are you planning with Griffin? And when might you update this story?
296375 This is the exception. I've put it on hiatus because I really am stuck. I don't have a plan. I'll try writing more of it tonight, but I'm currently working on the next chapter of ascended.
296402 Have you considered collabating with Rust to make Echo and Griffin face off? The way I see it, both plots are at a similar time and may have a possible crossroads in the jungles of Equestria or other forested regions.
304587 As a fellow fan of both stories, I for one would like to see that. However, he might have a bit of a problem doing it at this point in time. It seems to me that this story takes place shortly after the Gilda Incident in Ponyville. (That's how it strikes me anyway.) The Ballad of Echo the Diamond Dog takes place from Episode 1 of Season 2 and onward. I'm not sure how much of a time difference it is in the show between the two episodes, but it would definately be a time difference of several weeks. If I'm correct, and if BlackWing does decide to do a crossover chapter/story arc, it would probably have to take place at a later (perhaps even a much later) point in the story. That is, unless he does a time-skip. I'm not saying that it's a bad idea, in fact it's a crossover idea that I would like to see, I'm just saying that it might not be something that happens anytime soon, if at all.
With that out of the way, congratulations on another great chapter.
325076 I only said where, not when. After all, Rust made out Echo to sound like he would be exploring the world after leaving the village. That could make a meeting happen at any time or place, given Blackwing decides to cross the story lines.
So the theme is trolling Princess Luna, huh?
Ah the Moon,
A tasty giant cheeseball
With a Psyco Pony center.
Dear Princess Luna,
Was it really the "stars" that aided in your escape?
Or was it that you simply made like a Cheese-eating Moon Mole and tunneled your way out?
Sincerely, Griffin
325076 Sorry, I did say a time, just not a specific one. The way i see it the jungle is going to allow for the characters to evolve, but also take some time to write.
325123 Good point, sorry. I guess that I just overlooked the whole, "or other forested regions" part.
I was thinking of where Echo is now, and thinking of that meeting happening in the Feline Jungle. (That's what it's called, right?) Now that I think about it, I suppose that Griff and Gilda COULD decide to train in the Jungle for that long if that's what BlackWing wants his characters to do.
They could even cross paths at multiple different points in time. It might get a bit awkward for Gilda though, having to deal with not one, but TWO humans. That and if Disarray showed up, things could definitely get extra crazy weird for Gilda.
MUST READ MOAR !
If you went into detail like i said before you probably would have to make each chapter like 10k words
so now i understand, and its cool, we get so see more action :D
anyhoo
i still think it would be more involving if it had more detail
Oh and DOVAHKIN!
< FUS RO DAH!
it would be funny if he roared fus roh da in twilight or pinkiepies face if they pissed him of
How can Gilda cross her arms? She's standing on four legs. If she crossed her arms she'd fall over...?
Going to put my thoughts down now, since this is as far as I got in the time I had.
Okay, this is pretty neat. It's not "realistic" in approach, so much, but it's definitely "crazy awesome". It works precisely because of how the main character's making it up as he goes along with what sounds awesome.
255329 IKR 255363In minecraft I made a fake moon about A mile in the sky so at about noon I could have an eclipse which doesn't happen for real in minecraft
255363 MUhahahahahhah! I believe I could make an interdimensional mailbox if you would like.
Luna: Oooooo, I got mail. Yay~
*opens letter*
Luna:.......
SO, SOME SLIME THINKS THAT MINE BANISHMENT WAS HUMOUROUS? RAAAAAAAAWR!
the few times i have time to watch mlp or wright im terrible at it im great with story concepts but horrible when it comes to making things completely original even my screen name was ripped off of a mmorpg
cheese cheese for everyone!
fc00.deviantart.net/fs47/f/2009/216/c/a/Sheogorath_De_motive_by_fkfkk.jpg
XD Trollin Luna? I'm in!
: FUS-RO~yay~
Okay, this obviously may change as the story goes along, but as of this chapter, Grif is starting to become REALLY HARD TO LIKE as a protagonist! He's cynical, petty, and judgmental. Yes, he had a hard life, but what does he do now that he has th power he never had before? He becomes a bully! "Authority is biased!"
"Let's have fun with the drunks to teach them a lesson!"
"The upper class think they're better than us!"
This guy is such a tool! A badass tool (like a jackhammer) to be sure, but a tool. Echo was a gentleman, but nonetheless a warrior! He also was funny, but not at other's expense! He had a heroic goal, (protect Wethoof) but he was motivated out of an honest pursuit of redemption; rather than "Let's take over the world because we can!"
Well, Luna HAS been to the moon.....so, is it really made of cheese? And if so, what does moon cheese taste like? A mystery of Equis
1045893 1: Now I have to read that fic
2: Let him have his fun. He deserves it. Who knows? He may be a great king
1045893 Griffin's a protagonist?! Here I thought I was reading a tale of a tyrants rise to power through wit, manipulation, and impeccable strategy("while having fun along the way"). He is only a hero when beneficial to himself; just as he is capable of being a villain. What I see here so far are many possible endings. Will he be the ruthless tyrant with an equally ruthless/beautiful queen? or will he be "The Hero of The Dominion" or even, dare I say it, "The Champion of Equestria"? He can be a savior, oppressor, or even dead. He could even betray Gilda at some point and kill her.("that course of action is ill-advised.") He could even make Princess Celestia his leather bound slave.(but not Luna! SHE. REMAINS! PURE!!) Seriously though; I don't remember him claiming to be a protagonist. I heard survivor.
I am such a Dragon Age nerd.
I've read balled of echo the diamonddog before this and now MIND=BLOWN
1232852
Dragon Age ROCKS!
And most people love stories that can bring in better suspense.
255329
I keep trying to get the Tumblrs that use Luna or Nightmare Moon as their Ask character to answer that question. None of them have yet.
I love this 275% more than the Echo series. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing
1045893 *cough cough* well echo couldn't talk so of course he mellowed out more because he couldn't use sarcasm as well as griffin and also griffin is a teenager and echo was and adult so of course there is a difference there
Just wondering but I saw trixie on the main character list and I was wondering what chapter does she start in?
I feel like something witty should go here, but I can't think of anything so here's this!:funlyest.com/files/articles/460/1370146914.gif
1045893 unlike grif, thw rold didnt shit on him at every chance it could, hell if i was there i probably would be doing the same thing, or i'de be dead.
that fucking ending
No, the moon is not made of cheese, but the core is made of jam.
3711582 everything I thought I know is a lie
4302503 except the cake that part is true
CHEESE, GROMIT!
Le trollz ar lolololol
4406879 Wallace and his cheese, still a better love story than twilight.