Meet The Troll (34)
Meet The Troll
I awoke and cracked all my joints, then shuddered with satisfaction. I put on my gear, then went and woke my crew.
"Big day today. We've gotta help with the launch of the ship. The two of us will be flying around the outside, making sure it's clear, Nadene, start training Maria. Etch, Growl, I want you to help with whatever Steelhorn needs, within reason anyway. If he starts having you act like butlers, feel free to turn him down. But that's not till later, first, let's get breakfast."
Shimmer woke up from her nap and poked her head out of Gilda's backpack with a yawn.
"Hey, nice of you to wake up. How are you this morning?"
"I.... I miss my mommy." At which point she was grabbed and held close, having her nuzzle into the lady griffin's feathers again.
"I do too..." Shimmer didn't seem to understand, but I told her that we'd explain later, and there was no need to worry herself with it, and that her new mom would tell her when she was ready to. No point in burdening the kid. As we walked down the hall, I noticed the rooms next to ours had been claimed. Spying the names written on the doors, I read them over and over, sudden realization hitting me like a ton of bricks. I dove into Gilda's room as I heard a commotion within, the mane six waking up.
"Gilda, we've got a problem. You know how I said before I was forgetting something? You know how Tailton was destroyed, and that's where the six were headed?"
"Yeah?"
"Guess where the closest settlement to there is?"
"Here?"
"You guessed it, and guess who our neighbours are."
"You must be kidding."
"I wish I was." She face clawed.
"Is there something wrong with our neighbours? Are they mean?" Shimmer asked.
"No, that's not it, it's just, we know them, and weren't expecting to run into them here. We're not really friends, and not really enemies either. Just unexpected, and I need to think of a way to handle them before we meet them."
"We could kick them off the ship.... seeing as how we technically own it right now."
"And leave them to die here? We can't just throw them to the dragons, no offense Shimmer."
"So, avoid?"
"Kind of unlikely since their rooms are right next to ours."
"Then, what?"
"Try and make peace?"
"Oh, right, I forgot, you know all about them from before. You're not gonna have a fanboy moment are you?" Gilda deadpanned.
"No guarantees. Hey, you got to hang out with Daring Do."
"Guh, fine. Are you at least going to do your usual thing?"
"Use trickery and charm to humiliate them into oblivion? Of course! I wouldn't miss a chance at that for the world. Here's what I'm going to do......."
After explaining my plan, I put my ear to the door at hearing the other ones open.
"Well, I must say that these accommodations, while not five star, are quite satisfactory." Rarity said as she exited her room.
"You're telling me, I haven't gotten such a good night's sleep in forever." Twilight replied.
"That's because you don't have a library here, so instead of studying all night you actually sleep." Dash chided.
"I thought it was nice, although it was a little quiet, I'm used to hearing the breathing of little animals." Fluttershy, complaining about it being quiet?
"I have ta say, it was pretty comfy. I dropped like I had just finished applebuck season." Applejack. Haven't seen either of them yet, but their voices match perfectly.
"Today we get to have a super duper fun party!" Pinkie.
"First, let's get breakfast."
With that, the mane six, right outside my door, went to the upper decks to get something to eat. We had food of our own hidden away, so we just took that with us. The deck had been lowered in the morning, well, as much of a morning as it could be within an underground bunker on an airship with few windows, but regardless, it had been lowered to let on more supplies in preparation of the final sendoff.
"Alright, so I was thinking, we go for the shock and awe treatment. Just walk up and say hi like it's nothing. They'll be too confused to come up with a proper reaction."
"Sounds good."
After explaining it to Nadene, Maria, Etch, Growl, and Trixie, we all gathered our gear and went up to the mess hall for breakfast. We had gotten up before the cats, as they stayed up in the night helping out, so they would sleep further into the day. All that remained was the launch at noon, where we would be flying around, making sure the edges of the ship didn't scrape on walls and stuff like that. Entering the eatery, we saw the mane six sitting at a table. Rather than buy food from that greedy minotaur, we opted to just eat some of our own. After all, we had brought a very large supply of it. It would last us about a week, if it kept. We'd have to get more at the next port, although, I didn't see that as a problem, considering that we're pirates. We could just do some piracy. Or go to the zebra isles and pick some of the natural growing stuff. Whatever works. We walked over to them, fully armed and armored, and sat down. I, of course, sat next to Fluttershy.
"Hey, mind if we sit here?"
"Oh, no, go right ahead." Twilight responded not really paying attention. Gilda sat across from me, Nadene next to me, Maria across from her. Then Trixie sat across from Etch, and Growl by himself. He's kind of antisocial, but oh well. I used to be too. Shimmer was in Gilda's backpack, eating a banapple. The mane six weren't really paying attention, still half asleep, and didn't realize it was me. Then again, Fluttershy and Applejack were the ones right next to me, and they hadn't seen me before, other than wanted posters. Time to open it up a bit.
"So, hows about that Gilda? Bet you weren't expecting to eat breakfast with a band of fearless pirate hunters, especially since we're the pirates they're hunting. I was sure a fight would have broken out by now." A clamor of spoons being dropped. The mane six turned to look at the source of the voice, seeing me with a big stupid grin plastered to my face.
"Hiya! Long time no see." At which point, all their chairs fell over backwards, and there were six ponies lying on the floor groaning. They eventually got to their feet, all in combat stance, ready to fight us.
"Oh just sit down and have your breakfast will you? We can do that later, there's no point in fighting with an empty stomach." We just continued to eat, while the mane six slowly walked back over to their seats, very cautiously, as though they were expecting it to be some kind of trick. Eventually, they were all sitting, eating their food like it might be poisoned, despite the fact that they had already been eating it before I came in. They all kept an eye on me the whole time. Finally, once we had all eaten, the whole lot of us stood up.
"We should do this in the main hall, it's empty, and I don't want to break anything. I wouldn't be able to afford replacements." They nodded dumbly, not really sure of what's going on, but going along with it anyway. We walked out first, and they followed. I could hear whispers from behind.
"Pssssssssss....... crazy?........... what...... thinking?......... how?............ not worried?........ arrest.......... Celestia.........."
'Probably wondering what's going on in my head, Twilight reminding them of their goal to arrest me and bring me to the princess.'
We entered the main hall, all of us lining up on one side, while the six were on the other. They eyed us warily. I looked at Trix and moved my head, signalling her to stay close. Nadene stood in front of Maria, Etch and Growl drew their charged gem spears. Nadene and Gilda moved back, drawing their bows, keeping the younger griffin behind them. Etch and Growl moved to either side of me and a little behind to protect the back line from flanking. I stood front and center. Twilight stood front and center as well, Dash to her left, and AJ to her right, Rarity was behind and to the left of Twilight, Pinkie behind and to the right, and Fluttershy was cowering at the back.
'She's cute and all, but she's not meant for combat. Sure, she can use the stare, but if that fails? She's doomed. Then again, she snapped a bear's neck.......'
"Griffin! We're here to arrest you and your crew for crimes against Equestria, and bring you back to Canterlot to face judgement by Princess Celestia!" Twilight finally had the nerve to speak up, and did so with a speech about justice.
"Okay."
"Then you give us no choice but to.... wait, did you just say okay?"
"Yep."
"So then, you surrender?" She cocked her head to the side. I drew Hades and held it in a guard stance in front of me.
"Nope."
"Wait, what?"
"You said you were here to arrest me, and I acknowledged that, now I'm telling you... You'll never take me alive coppa!" Pinkie started to giggle.
"Pinkie, this is serious! This isn't some police drama, it's life!"
"Oh lighten up would you? If you keep fretting over every little thing you'll wind up gray before you're twenty." At which point I plucked a single silver strand from her mane and held it up so everyone could see. Stifled giggles from Dash and AJ, blatant laughter from my side.
"It's. NOT. FUNNY!" Twilight started grinding her teeth.
"Yes it is. Speaking of you, how'd you find us? Have you been following us?" I suddenly took up a Rainbow Dash position.
"Are you a spy?" Dash couldn't help it and finally broke down laughing.
"Ooh! That's funny because that's what Dashie asked the first time they met!" Pinkie was bouncing around.
"Oh relax, I know Twilight's not a spy, I mean, why would she be a spy when it's clearly Pinkie Pie who's the secret agent." They all looked at me incredulously, while Pinkie actually seemed a slight bit nervous.
"What? She can run almost as fast as Dashie can fly, can appear out of anything from a basket of sponges to a mirror, defy all laws of physics and logic, has an innate sense of danger, as well as other things, able to pull a cannon out of nowhere, and has hats, eye patches, and other such disguises hidden all over Equestria just in case of emergency. I'm surprised you didn't figure it out before. After all, Mina, we used to be partners....."
"Huh?" The six asked. They didn't understand.
"Pinkamina Diane Pie, Mina, mi amor, why did you betray me? You left the spy business, gave up all your memories of me, for what? To follow your dream of becoming a baker? The moonlit sonata in the streets of Venice, the dinners in France under the stars, fighting together, back to back, against all odds, did all of it mean nothing to you? You didn't even say goodbye. You just let them mind wipe you and left. I would have gone with you! I would have given up our past for a future with you! But no, you left me behind. I refused to give up my memories of you, and so I left, memory intact. I went renegade, in hopes that they would call you back into active duty and come after me, since you were the only one who could ever best me, but it seems my plan has failed. You chased me of your own accord, with no knowledge of who I am, who I was." I looked down, depressed. Pinkie looked at me for a second before winking.
'YES! She realized the improv and is going to play along!'
"Mockingbird." She adopted a french accent.
"Mina?"
"I would never let them take our love. I escaped and went into hiding, that is why I never looked for you, I couldn't let myself be found. But now, this... all this, for me? You have gone too far."
"But Mina....."
"No, you always knew our duty came first." She stepped in front of Twilight to stare me down. I brought fake tears to my eyes.
"Now, for the good of Equestria, I must stop you. I will bring you back to the academy, where you will pay for your crimes, and I, my own."
"Then you are lost. The Mina I knew and loved is dead. There is nothing left for me in this world! I will never go back, and I won't allow you to go either!" I grabbed a vial of 'mana potion' from my pack and drank it.
"This is the end. If I am dead, then you will have no reason to return to that awful place and give up your freedom." I made overly dramatic death motions before I fell to the ground, 'dead'. Rarity and Fluttershy were bawling, holding each other, Applejack and Dash each wiped a tear from their eye, and Twilight had tears streaming down her face. Pinkie just sat there.
"I always knew the price of justice was steep, but never did I imagine it would take you from me. Good night, Mockingbird." She closed her eyes and walked back to her friends.
"Aaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnd CUT!" Trixie called out. I sprang to my feet, Pinkie turned and started giggling, and all her friends, still with tears in their eyes, suddenly snapped to attention.
"Wait, wha, huh, I, WHAT?" Twilight called out.
"Did you like our improv? I thought it was pretty good."
"It was an ACT?" The lavender unicorn started fuming. "And YOU were in on it?" She turned to Pinkie.
"Yeppers!"
"I, that, what? What's going on?!"
"What's going on is we just gave you material for your next romance novel. Or was it Rarity that writes the romance novels, Fluttershy? No.... oh wait! Maybe you haven't started writing them yet.... riiiiight, the time difference. Duh."
"But, that.... doesn't make any sense." The purple mare declared. Then, in my best impression of Discord, I said,
"Make sense? What fun is there in making sense?" They all let out a collective gasp.
"DISCORD!"
"Not even close. He's chaotic evil, I'm chaotic good."
"What?"
"Oh, do I have to explain everything? Princess Celestia is lawful good. Always does the right thing, and in the most acceptable manner. Echo is neutral good, he doesn't have the power that being royalty brings, and he knows that things don't always work out, so he does all he can, but he knows sometimes he has to bend the rules. I'm chaotic good, my plan will improve the lives of everyone everywhere, but the task is nearly impossible, and I'm overstepping the boundaries of what should be possible with every move I make, so I have to break a LOT of rules."
"You? Good? You're a pirate! You're evil!" Twilight reasoned.
"Oh, I see, so trying to help an entire nation who is starving to death and fear for their lives and freedoms is evil because they're not ponies? Except that some of them are. If my plan succeeds, I'll free, and feed, all the griffins, diamond dogs, and ponies who are living in oppression in the north provinces. That doesn't sound evil to me. What is evil is the fact that your princess took apart the griffin government, destroying their organization and with it, any semblance of defense they had. She's partly responsible for the state it's been in for the past nine hundred years. I'm just cleaning up her mistake, and it's a VERY messy one."
"I, uh, I...."
"I'm going to bring families back together, and make those who haven't known happiness in nine hundred years smile. Sure, my methods are less than ideal, but then again, so is the situation. I fight, but I do so against evil."
"What ever you say, you're just a liar, all you want is to take over the world." Applejack pointed out.
"Take over the world? Oh, Applejack, you flatter me! No. Ruling the world is far too much trouble. I don't envy your Princesses at all. Crowns are heavy, and I don't mean they weigh a lot."
"So then, say you succeed, what are your plans for Equestria?" Rarity piped up.
"I have none."
"What?"
"There is a saying where I'm from. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Celestia and Luna are doing a far better job running your utopia than I ever could, why would I want to go and ruin that? All that would change is there would be a better economy due to an increase in goods coming across the border that are not the result of slave labour. As for personally maybe a vacation once in a while? Oh, and everyone would be happier. A lot happier. Tell me Pinkie, how many parties have you thrown for griffins?" This brought a gasp for the pink mare, when she realized the answer was none, save the catastrophic failure that was Gilda's party.
"Well then, when I fix the world, I invite you to plan the official founding ceremony. I'll have Celestia forward you the letter when it happens so you can know when to start planning it. In the mean time, come on Gilda, we've got to get ready for the launch." We were about to leave, when Twilight teleported in front of us.
"You do know we could just fly up right?"
"Not all of you." She smiled.
"Oh?" At which point, Trixie hopped on my back, Nadene on Maria's, and Gilda grabbed the dogs.
"Wait, you're the captain right?" Rainbow asked.
"Yeah."
"So then, why do you let Trixie... you know.... ride you?"
"Why not?"
"Because it's embarrassing?"
"I'm not embarrassed, are you embarrassed?" I asked my rider.
"No."
"You see, this came from necessity. She needed a better way to get around, I needed someone to look out for me in the fray, she needed someone who could hit hard, and being ridden is surprisingly comfortable."
"Then, why isn't Gilda being ridden?" She asked, at which point, Shimmer popped out of the backpack.
"HI!" Fluttershy perked up.
"A baby dragon!"
"I'm not a baby. I'm thirteen!" She replied spitefully.
"Oh.... sorry." She hid behind her mane. Now that the yellow pegasus was out in the open, Nadene, who happens to like cute things, leapt off her ride and scooped her up, hugging her.
"You're adorable!" She cried as her victim tried to escape.
'Must.... resist..... urge..... to glomp..... jealousy rising......'
"Grif, can we keep her?"
"You must be joking....." She turned to me with those big pleading eyes that told me she wasn't.
"She's not a pet you know. She's a pony, with a mind of her own. I don't think her friends would like it very much if we took her." Grumbling, Nadene put the now disoriented pony down, pouted, then got back on Maria.
"By the way, ya'll haven't introduced the rest of em...." Applejack pointed out.
"Alright, well, Gilda and I have to go meet up with Steelhorn to help with the launching of this thing, why don't you all get to know each other? After it's up in the air, I'll come right back." We left before they could object.
No letter this chapter, as there will be a big one next chapter.
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a new day, a new update :]
finally, get to see mane six reaction cant wait must get back to reading! :O
EDIT: the trolling, it was GLORIOUS
Just as I finish the last 4 chapters, BOOM new chapter!
FIRST!!1!!1!11!
Awesome story! I can't wait for your next update
Kewl
sorta-kinda anticlimactic.
ahehehe... Mina and Griffin.
You got a laugh out of me with that one.
Also, lol just nonchalantly walk up to the ones hunting you and say, "Sup?"
Whatever works...
All this trolling from Grif is hilarious, but are we ever going to see him get counter-trolled?
i need MOAR!
I love you. The whole part with pinkie playing in on the improv was genius. The whole scene in general made hurt a lot from laughing.
Good job.
Must…see…MOAR!
*re-reads for great justice and lulz*
518497 It can't be all epic sauce all the time. It needs a break in the action. Mostly, the mane six are sitting there going
"Da FUQ just happened?"
post another soon
518532 except for Pinkie, obviously.
YAY superb chapter
Need MOAR! This story is pure awesomeness.
lol twilight, y u mad tho?
OH MY GAAAAWD The Mina part was the best thing I have read the whole week!
I'm pretty sure the mane 6 don't know who Echo is.
I hereby humbly request that more be given unto us
518580 Yeah, I know, next chapter.
Epic. Humorous as well.
Dude, LOVE. THIS. STORY.
Not that I don't appreciate the rapid updating, but when are you also gonna update the rest of your stories?
I'm dying to know what Larke and Alex are up to, too!
Loved the improv bit with Pinkie.
moar is all I got I liked this chapter the improv thing was hilarious
what! no letter? Oh why have you forsaken me?
btw. I am a little torn between wanting grif to get a little rage moment, explaining his 'crimes' to Twilight, after she pressures him. And our main griffin staying like a mysterious enigma, which bafles our ''sheltered'' ponies.
pixelatedgeek.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/lawful_good_2.jpg th04.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2012/003/7/1/chaotic_good_by_gimron-d4l8d2c.jpg
518666 I'm on a creative roll with this story, don't ruin it for me. We'll get there when we get there!
If you submit a second chapter today I would just die.
518666 wait till he gets the same creative roll on those stories..... I also love those epic storylines, but all of them is epic!
loved the improv between pinkie and grif. It was a nice little offset from his badass nerdrage.
This story needs a forest/frost troll called Gary Stu to pop up at some point....
Make sense. Whats the fun in making sense? Discords best line ever
EEEEP!
awesome...
518695 Great, that means I'm gonna be a murderer.
Okay, thanks for the precision ! :)
Great job with this impro', and all the trolling part !
Poor Twilight, she will never fully understand Grif' x'D
( And, as everyone, I can't wait for the next chapter ! o/ )
518789
I'm okay with that.
Twilight got epicly troll'd.
i love the update speed of your updates
p.s. why isn't there more of a reaction to the cat people if they never known they existed before
I don't like posting much on the internet, you know fear of it being their for all of eternity and the chance at it coming back to haunt me. I say that in order to make this praise look as high as it is. I really like your story you have here, and will probably try to put some sort of compliment into upcoming chapters when I can get over that fear. You update on a way more than regular basis and still write with such skill, it will be a sad day when you finish up this story indeed.
Didn't Pinkie throw that party for Gilda in season 1?
So she has thrown a party for at least ONE griffin...right?
Also, Pinkie/Griff improv was pure comedy GOLD!!
Keep this stuff up, good sir.
Frankly, I think this is the best chapter yet. Prior chapters were making the character of Griffin less likeable for me, and an unlikeable character makes for an unreadable story in my opinion.
All in all, the story is coming along nicely, and I hope it continues to do so.
...now, to wait...
Hobbits
With every progressive chapter I get a stronger and stronger sense that your being held prisoner in somebodies basement chained to a pc being forced to spit out chapters as fast as possible or else.
I mean how else could you write so fast?
518854 That might very likely be due to the shock of group they were hunting down walking up to them as if nothing at all is happening, eating part of breakfast with them unnoticed, then blatantly revealing their presence in a way to startle and confuse them as much as possible. The fact they saw Nadene will probably settle in a few minutes after their encounter.
I like a psychotic berserker hero they make me happy
518941 one does not simply wait for the next chapter!
518789 t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTnwHyNTj1tpyfKiX3l7g0TBQeESBr_PZHizJHdUDn20-RTSCWm4Z6unusvzA
Trollolololol-lololol-lololol, trollolololooool...
EPIC TROLLING!
Oh and the improv is hilarious XD
Now i wait for when Twi sees Griffins human form :3
She's gonna freak!
Oh and btw...
If you ever decide to tell us who is slave-driving you into churning out these chapters
don't hesitate to seek our assistance!
(not that we would help you or anything)
:D
Pinkie Pie is best pony
This was a sure amazing chapter!
Alright, so, I might not get the next chapter out today, because it's already over five thousand words, and I'm not done yet, so, it's gonna be a FREAKING LONG chapter, and I still need to proof read it and make some edits to it.