Diplomacy Part 3 (28)
Diplomacy Part 3
Waking up, holding my hand to my head, Nadene had already prepared a treatment for me. Rather than the usual potion for assisting in focus, she gave me something for nerves. It stopped the shaking and the headache, but did nothing to improve my appetite. I had to force myself to eat. I just wasn't hungry anymore, but I knew if I didn't eat, I'd get weak. Had to try and force the food down. After I had gotten over my shakes, we geared up and headed back to the Lemko village.
"So, yer back, jus like ya said yud be." I was greeted by Elder.
"Yeah, I had a bit of a problem, but it's taken care of for the moment."
"So, whipper snapper, wut's yer brilliant idea for dealin with the Romak? Eh?" She asked.
"A show of force."
"Wut's that supposed ta mean?"
"Simple, your tribe is a group of warriors. Since you've been able to eat and have gotten medical treatment, we arm ourselves and head to the Romak."
"So, we're gonna attack em and take the land fer ourselves?" Elder questioned.
"Possibly. Judging from what I know of your kind, you wouldn't just go to war for no good reason, and attacking a warrior tribe is a bad move. We're going to find out what happened."
"What do you mean?"
"If we show up in their village, warriors and pirates in a display of force, they'll have no choice but to tell us what's going on. If they really are trying to wipe your tribe out, then we'll defeat them, but if that's not the case, if they have a problem that they can't deal with, then we'll help them with it and restore relations between the tribes."
"So, they're stealin food from us, and you want ta help them?" She said incredulously.
"If they have a food shortage, that would mean they'd have to go to other lands to feed their own people. If they're trapped, then yes. By helping them, it opens up negotiations. If they're just being greedy, then we'll invade. But we need to figure out what's happening first. This will only work if you follow my lead, and take your commands from me. I don't need anyone acting out ahead of time. If it comes down to it, I have to be the one to give the order to attack, understand?"
"You're not part of our tribe. Why should we trust you? Why should we do anything you say?" One of the younger cats voiced his opinion, clearly speaking for the majority.
"Well, if you want, we can just leave and let you solve this the way you want to, but since you were all starving yesterday, I think it's fair to say that this is a situation you CAN'T handle on your own. So, do you want our help or not?"
The villagers began to grumble, until Elder slammed the base of her staff into the ground.
"Quiet ya whinin kittens, he's gonna help us, and you're all grumblin about it?" She roared. For an old hag, she's pretty tough, and her frail form hides surprising strength.
"Accepting help from others, who are not of our tribe, it is not our way!" Another spoke up.
"Well then, if that's the case, how about this. If this all works out, I'll join your tribe. Then it wouldn't be against your traditions would it?"
"Are you sure you want to do that birdy? To join the tribe, you have to perform a great feat and prove yourself as a warrior." Elder warned.
"If I can bring peace to your tribe, that will serve as my feat. As for being a warrior, my crew can attest to that." At which point, every member of the Griffin Pirates took a fight stance and growled menacingly.
"The proof will come from action, not words."
"Very well. Should we succeed, I will perform whatever task you deem necessary to prove myself a warrior. If we fail, well, I don't think your tribe will have much of a future to worry about, considering where it's been going."
With grumbles and roars, the tribe agreed, and with their bellies full, their strength restored, they gathered their arms and prepared to march. 20 warriors, both male and female, carrying axes, swords, and spears of bone. They wore armor made of tree bark. They traveled on foot while we flew overhead to get a better view. Since Trixie could use magic, I replaced the arrows I had in my possession with more vials of every kind. Smoke, knockout, explosive, and thermite. They would be far more effective. Ranged attacks would be spells Trixie would shoot. Instead, Gilda carried the arrows. Nadene, riding Maria, had a blow gun made of bamboo, with poison darts from the temple, and her daggers for close range. Etch and Growl had gem spears with bamboo shafts, the gems charged so they could perform a basic spell, as well as their bows and arrows. I had my chainmail, while Gilda had her thick leather 'biker jacker', befitting of a ranger, while the dogs had just their clothes for better mobility. Nadene was also just wearing clothing, and Maria was unarmored. It's strange how I never noticed it, but we were really beginning to shape up as a crew. Gathering more members, getting more and better gear, improving our skills. I had instructed Nadene to keep Maria out of combat, as we had yet to train her. We still had a ways to go, but we were getting there.
"Hold up."
"What is it Grif?" Gilda asked.
"Look there." I pointed to where there was smoke rising. There was a MASSIVE volcano in the distance spewing hot ash, clouding over the whole area. We were nearing the border to the Volcanic Wastes. There was a village near the edge. Or what's left of one. A great number of trees had been destroyed, blackened and dead. Burned.
"What the fuck? Isn't this Romak land?"
"We should probably check in with the ground forces." Trixie suggested.
"I agree."
Flying back down to meet the troops, which were surprisingly lead by that old hag, (Who would have thought her to be a fighter? Then again, to live to be that old in a tribe of warriors, she's gotta be a tough old biddy.) They looked to us for explanation.
"Destroyed. Burned. There's nothing left."
"How can that be?" A tiger striped woman asked.
"I don't know. What I do know is why they were stealing food from you. Their village, and all their fruit trees got burned down. After that happened, all the meat left too. They're probably hiding out somewhere nearby..... Trixie! Shield!" I called right before I heard distant twangs, arrows bouncing harmlessly off the yellow dome she had brought up. We all drew our weapons in preparation.
'Damn it all. If the mission goes well, it's an ambush. Lucky for me I'm damn good. I called that one before it even happened.'
"Romak! Reveal yourselves!" I yelled into the forest.
"Why........" A voice hissed. "So you can cut us down?........" The echo through the jungle was unnerving.
"The Romak can blend in with their surroundings. They hide themselves in the trees and drink strange brews that change the colour of their fur from their usual tones to verdant green." Elder mentioned to me. Would have been nice to know that before. Might be useful to learn how to do that. Enough of this bullshit.
"Forma Versus!" A purple shock wave spread out from the gem, not knocking anything over, but suddenly revealing a dozen or so of the cats in the tree tops around us as they changed back to their normal pigmentation. They all looked stunned that their cover had suddenly been blown. The Lemko were about to charge, but I held up my arm signalling them to stay put.
"We're not here to fight."
"You enter our lands with twenty armed soldiers, not counting yourselves. Griffin Pirates, we will not allow you to take our lands from us." The leader I assume, black like a panther.
"What land? Your village was burned to the ground, and your food sources are gone. What reason would I have to take this patch of scorched earth from you?"
"Then you would slay us for the Lemko." He growled.
"All I want is to talk. The way I see it, your food got torched, so you have to steal from the Lemko to live. That's a problem, because you were starving them to death."
"So, you would rather my own people starve then?" He spat.
"What I'm saying is, you have a problem, which became a problem for them. If we can solve your problem, we'll solve theirs at the same time."
"What would you receive in return? Pirates do not simply act of 'good will'. What's in it for you?" He was at least interested. As long as he keeps talking, I can work this out.
"I happen to have a fair amount of wealth, and nowhere to spend it. I can't open trade with the tribes when they're close to war, as they have other things on their minds. If I solve your problems, peace will be restored, and prosperity returned."
"You cannot rebuild our village, and you cannot regrow our trees. There is nothing you can do to help us." He said this sadly, as though depressed. I mean, his village burned down, they have no food, and they're living in trees. Of course they're depressed.
"If we discover the source of your problem, we can work out the details later. What burned your village down?"
"We do not need your help. We will not accept charity from an outsider. It is our way." He avoided the topic.
'Oh fuck it all, not this crap again. Pride is fine and all, but you need to learn when you're just being too damn stubborn. Maybe they ought to talk to Applejack? Right, they don't know about her. Well, here we go again.'
"Well then, if I solve your problem, you'll just have to make me part of the tribe, won't you? Then I would be following your way. And yes, I already know, great feat, prove myself as a warrior. Yaddi yaddi yadda."
"It matters not, this problem is beyond solving." The leader replied.
"Oh, well if it doesn't matter, you won't mind telling me. After all, it's my business if I waste my time trying to fix something impossible." Gotcha you stubborn mule!
"Very well. Our village was destroyed by dragons." He stated.
"Dragons you say?" Suddenly, I became FAAAAAR more interested in solving their problems. "I thought that the dragons were all up north?"
"They were until a while ago, when the great dragon migration happened. They flew south in droves, took up residence in the wastes. They recently began destroying parts of the jungle, including our home." The kitty was crying. Heck, all the Romak were crying. They probably lived on that land for a long time, and it had suddenly been rendered inhospitable.
"Do you see my blade?"
"What?"
"Do you see my blade?"
"Yes, what of it?"
"It is made from dragon scale and bone. I made it after I slew a dragon. What makes you believe that I wouldn't be able to do so again?"
"What?!?!?!?!" The Romak and Lemko tribes were taken aback, while my crew just laughed maniacally.
"Come now, on my own I slew a fully grown black dragon. Now, I have a crew, and twenty soldiers of the Lemko, not to mention any Romak willing to help."
"A black dragon? They are the rarest of all!" Elder proclaimed.
"Huh?"
"Their scales are the hardest of all dragons. A single black one could slay several of his other coloured kin!"
"Is that so?"
The tribes which had previously been hostile towards me suddenly gulped nervously. I love my job.
"Well then, Griffin Pirates, assemble."
"Alright, everyone, what do you think? This is unexpected, and it could really turn out well for us."
"What do you mean?" Nadene asked.
"Think about it, we do this, we'll have both these tribes owing us a great debt, they're both fighters, one strength and the other stealth, and we'd be able to arm them with scale and bone right here. We'd basically have an army NOW. We could gather the other tribes, get a ship, and bam. That would be it. We'd be ready for our final goal. What's more, since I now know that I could cut through other dragon's scales with Hades, that makes this way easier. We wouldn't have to buy mercs, and we could probably BUY a ship with the haul we have. I wanna know your takes on this."
"I'm for it. We'd be that much closer to our goals. This is a HUGE step. Besides, aren't we all about helping the oppressed? I'm in." Gilda said.
"Grif needs dragon blood soon or he'll die, and I'd like to see the tribes working together. I'm in, which mean's you're with me Maria." Nadene said, causing the griffin to start shaking.
"D...d...d...ddraaaaaagggoooonnnsssS? You're gonnnaaaa kkkkillll, DRAGONS?" She looked like she was about to cry. Great, I'm gonna have to find a way to make 'Feathershy' here buck up.
"Oh don't worry, we'll be fine! We do stuff like this aaaaaaaalllll the time, right?" The rest of the crew nodded. Nadene looked her mount in the eye.
"Just trust me alright? You'll be fine. Grif knows what he's doing. Besides, I'm also kind of looking forward to seeing him fight. I've never seen someone fight like him before, and let's face it, Carl was a pansy. I wanna see what he can REALLY do."
"Oooo..okkkayyy." Poor thing was shivering. I mean, she IS just a kid after all. I made sure Nadene knew to keep her back. After all, I'm not sure how much her daggers and blow darts could help against a dragon. Sure, if we could get the scales off, but that's the issue isn't it?
"Eeh.... I don't really like the idea of fighting dragons, but if it accomplishes our goals... and you're all sure you know what you're doing...... Alright, I'll go for it." Trixie stammered. She had the same look on her face that she did when she saw the ursa.
"You're all crazy." Etch and Growl agreed.
"Well, that's fine, because General Etch and Commander Growl, you'll be directing the ground troops. You'll both be well out of the way of the fight. I'm putting Etch in charge of the Romak rangers, and Growl in charge of the Lemko fighters. They'll be doing support, like shooting their wings to make em drop, and keeping them grounded. Don't attack unless you have a sure shot. You chickens okay with that?" Trixie and Gilda giggled. They both nodded, happy at having new titles. General and Commander, not Scootaloo.
"Gilda, you'll pull distraction. Get them to look at you while I lop their heads off."
"Always making the pretty one the distraction?"
"Yep, Trixie, you'll make us invisible. As soon as I cut through them, I'll need you to recast the spell. Offensive spells won't be any good here. Also, if you get an opening, toss some exploding vials in their mouths.
After explaining the situation to the Romak and Lemko tribes, going over the plan of attack the next time a dragon shows up, we all prepared ourselves.
"Now all we need is a dragon."
Judging by a roar and a flickering orange dot we spotted dipping under the clouds of ash on the horizon, we wouldn't have to wait long. I took out three gem wands and told everyone to cover their ears. Using the sound spell, 'Sonor' on myself with each of them, I yelled as loud as I could.
HEY DRAGONS! COME AND GET ME YOU UGLY FUCKS!
Dear Princess Celestia,
Have you ever toured a glue factory?
Sincerely, Griffin.
Dear Princess Luna,
Do you like my letters?
Sincerely, Griffin.
Ps. I wrote two letters today, so
THE FUN HAS BEEN DOUBLED!
Stats
Page generated in 0.039 seconds
Total duration
1,013 users online
1,671,361 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Asking a horse if she's gone on a tour of a glue factory.
when do we get a new 'letters' chapter?
btw I was reading the ending battle in 'ascended' and then you updated this! RAWR.
Yet again your work makes me laugh. Ah such a fun read and the chapters are being spewed out like spit from a llama.
Dear Griffin,
I actually have been on a tour of a glue factory. I met a very nice man named Krastos while I was there.
Perhaps some day I'll show you where we ponies make rainbows.
Sincerely, Celestia.
Ps. Luna says nice chapter.
lololololol
glue factory
wait a minute...
Bloody effing AMAZING
What more is it to say? They have a small army are about to slay dragons !
By celestias beard it is awsome!
encrypted-tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTmntF0yp7wIHsRNcBnliAxH6QOCtd68YC-ZWyDlSyZVLTwOcty8A
503646
Now that's just nasty
503646
...I don't think that one works very well, seeing as how the reference probably flew straight over her head-- as a land of equines, I'm sure Equestria not only uses something other than horse parts to make their glue, but hasn't even thought such a thing was possible... unless it's a "Rainbow Factory" type of deal. Huh. If that were the case, would that mean they use the useless Earth Ponies, since Rainbows are made with useless Pegasi? And what of the useless Unicorns?
And that "Fun Has Been Doubled" reference is going to freak Luna out, isn't it?
503733 Well for one, MOST references are going to go over their heads. That's kind of the point of it, make them wonder, DAFUQ is he thinking? And maybe they use already deceased ponies for that? IDK. And yes, the fun has been doubled is going to freak the HELL out of Luna.
503646 Oddly enough I was thinking about that earlier today. Your letters have to be one the the best ideas ever, so much better than ending chapters with with authors notes.
503646 Aw dude that was just uncalled for
. Wonder what the sisters will make of the letters.
images.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/9076906.jpg
Do you already have this fic written or are you writing it as you go?
I'm looking forward to seeing the dragons bug out at hearing that Griffin has consumed dragon blood.
massive fight scene detectors are detecting a epic fight in th' very near future. frickyea.
now all they need is a guy with enough guns to take down an army or someone with knowlage of explosives simalar to mine. (i can make a highly unstable and dangerous high explosive out of old mayo.)
503646 Cruel...just cruel.....but do ponies even have glue? And if so do they even know what it is made of? Or do they use something that is not glue at all, or at least not what we would call glue?
Can't wait to see how this turns out!
YAY DRAGON SLAUGHTER!!!
encrypted-tbn3.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRZEnLc7xy_FIYXLO8XEJ8b4GSo7Ce26RjGyeDucYgz_LiUfaKZJg
503792
True. But all of your other letters so far have either been completely out there, or had an Equestrian point of reference, even the Monty Python and the horn viagra letters (the former question was so out there, it couldn't have been anything other than a trolling attempt, the latter question... well, if we made a connection between a horn and phallic implications, they probably did, too). This one... it wasn't out there enough, as Celestia would be expected to inspect a factory every once in a while, but still remains a Human-only reference, as, unless they really do use dead ponies, Celestia could not possibly make the horse=>glue connection. Hence, realistically, Celestia would not realize the letter itself is a troll attempt, at most seeing it merely as Griff needing to send two letters so that he could make the "The fun has been doubled" joke.
...Err, did that make any sense?
503885 Ponies do have glue. After all, Sweetie Belle glued all those sapphires to make the picture that made Rarity cry in Sisterhooves. Nah, I'm gonna have it just go over their heads.
I can imagine the dragon coming..
but this is what you hear next:
Play this
play this while playing the one above
*INSERT BADASS HERE*
503939 Yeah. I'll throw a little history in there though. to explain.
503940 Good point.....GIMME A CHAPTER!! I NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*takes a deep breath*EEEEEEEED to see the princesses read the latest letters. I will go MAAAAAAD if I can't.
Dragon blood for the griffin god.......
Dear Luna,
Is thy backside whole and ungobbled?
Sincerely, Griffin
Ps. About how many guards in Canterlot do you think check out your flank when your back is turned?
503946
Ah. In that case... I look forward to seeing BOTH sisters freak out.
Dear Princess Celestia,
I have managed to infiltrate 4 numbered spies into your castle, find them.
Sincerely, Discord.
(Release 3 Spies into canterlot castle label them 1, 2 and 4 and watch them search for number three.)
503957
WIN
dear princess celestia,
WE HAVE ASSUMED DIRECT CONTROL
Sincerely, HARBINGER
Daaaaarn, this is getting better and better, i hope griffin knows what he is doing, after all killing a dragon is not an easy task.
Also, this is making me remember Robin Hood crew xD
Dear Princess Celestia
Say hello to Queen Chrysalis form me.
Sincerely, Griffin
504095 Griffin didn't see that episode. He doesn't know about changelings. He saw the one with the cake on a train, but he didn't see the season finale. He knows Twi's brother is getting married, but that's it.
HURRY UP AND SEND OFF THOSE LETTERS...
Also: *reads the fun has been doubled*
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/000/681/what-you-did-there-i-see-it.thumbnail.jpg
ahh shit going Monster huntin! I gotta ask, what ever happened to the mane 6 tracking down grif? That kinda just disappeared and I thought added it added more depth of the story. I really like the letter to the princesses chapters because you see griff from a different angle and adds to Grif being seen as a villain/pirate. Just thought I'd share my thoughts.
504125 damn.....
Hey dragons! Yo mommas so fat, when they sit around the cave, they sit AROUND the cave!
504161 We're coming back to it shortly. Next couple chapters. There's one more, and then there's going to be a letters and other side again.
504014 i haven't assumed control of anything,lol...or have i?
504380 lol
DUN DUN DUNNNNNN
when will you include bounty hunter? you did indirectly say there will be some.
spoilerbuzz.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/dogbountyhunter.jpg
pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease dont stop updating daily. they make school worth going to.
Dear Princess Celestia
What came first, the chicken or the egg?
Sincerely, Griffin
Dear Princess Luna
I accidently the whole !
Sincerely, Griffin
Dear Princess Celestia
I know what you did last summer...
Sincerely, Griffin
Dear Princess Luna
My friend Schrödinger have a cat. Is it alive or dead?
Sincerely, Griffin
Dear Princess Celestia
I never tell the truth.
Sincerely, Griffin
Dear Princess Luna
If someone with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
Sincerely, Griffin
Dear Princess Celestia
If the pen is mightier than the sword, then why do actions speak louder than words?
Sincerely, Griffin
And maybe introducing them to ''The Game''.....
504774
damn straight
Dear Princess Celestia,
Why did the dinosaurs die?
Your old pal Griffin
504774
Probably won't be happening, the last 3 updates have been shorter and are all parts of the same chapter.
Awww yea it's monster huntin time fellas.
Dear Princess Luna
I have two hands and two legs, you have four legs.
How many hands are you and your sister?
Sincerely, Giffin
Horses measurements are done in "hands." While my letter kinda sucks, I'm sure you could make a good one what with him being a human at one point and actually having hands. And it would certainly confuse both the sisters.
Dear Princess Celestia,
We all know you can go light speed, but can you go LUDICROUS SPEED!?
Sincerely, Griffin the Gryphon.
Dear Princess Luna,
Do you have a pet moon rock?
Sincerely, Griffin.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Do you like waffles?
Sincerely, Griffin.
Dear Princess Luna,
Did the moon ever make faces at you?
Sincerely, Griffin the Gryphon.
Dear Princess Luna,
If a tree falls on the moon, and nopony's around to hear it, does it still make a sound?
Sincerely, Griffin.
504792 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I LOST THE GAME
Dear Princess Celestia
I have your student.
Sincerly, Griffin.
504792
FUUUUUUUuuuuu-
my reaction to this post:
"The Game"
506683 Dear Princess Luna,
I hear that the restaurant on the moon has great food, but lacks atmosphere. is this true?
Sincerely, Griffin.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Why can't a griffin living in the Dominion, be burid in Equestria?
Sincerely, Griffin.
Dear Princess Luna,
Do you always speak in CAPS LOCK?
Sincerely, Griffin.
Dear Princess Luna,
What do you call a clock on the moon?
Sincerely, Griffin.
506211
files.dailycontributor.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/dinosaurs-extinction.jpg
You evil fuck.
that last line, made me have the Team Rocket theme stuck in my head.