I hope this story will be faster than a Game of Estrus. Also, With Daring and Velvet, that's exactly my headcanon too

4366679 I hope I can start churning these out, but we'll see. As for Twilight Velvet and Daring, I kind of had to write around the show after saying she wrote Daring Do in the beginning. My friend actually came up with the idea of Daring sending her journals to Twi's mom to rewrite into fiction books.

Ahhhh, I fucking love this set-up!
The chance boxes are genius! They oughta add a whole new level to this game, I can't wait to see what ponies end up getting from them.
And the permanent HUD should make the sex scenes rather interesting, adding in some more tension when they can see their fate creeping toward them.

I didn't notice any problems, not even with pacing, and that's usually the big one that people tend to get wrong.
Evidently the time between chapters has been well spent.

Let the games begin! Those chance boxes should be an interesting element, can't wait fire more!

And so it begins. Who will fall first? Will the losers get any chapters showing thier new life? how will the stallions that become mares handle the new gender? All this and more are the things ieagerly wait to see answered!

“Wait vun minute, schweinhund!”

it is "schweinehund", written with an "e" in the middle

also is a fictional animal that prevents you carried out your activities, but it is your laziness in reality and not a swear word.

It's good to see this fic Is not dead. I love this story and hope to read more chapters soon!

4366885 Might wanna toss up a source on that. Google's saying it's right both with and without the e. It also doesn't say anything about it being a mythological animal and not just calling someone both a pig and a dog.

With these chance boxes, I'm now hoping to see Twilight find one and it turns her into a stallion. Other than that, this sounds like it could be an interesting game.

4367948
der-flix.de/images/Schoene_Toechter/850x850/SchoeneToechter-Folge_33.jpg

4368121 I'm fairly certain that's not only not a very reliable source, but also meant as a joke based on the curse, not the actual meaning.

4366728 Honestly, I wouldn't have have thought up the HUD on my own, but it just seemed too useful to limit to a one time use. Thanks by the way, pacing was the biggest thing I was worried about.

4366920 Hoping to kick myself to write parts of it, or one of the various other stories I have planned, during the weekends. Productivity's likely to dive again once Watch Dogs launches though.

Edit: Earlier edit was for noticing I claimed I would've thought up the HUD on my own. I would not have. This is why I need editors.

4368342 http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Innerer_Schweinehund

4368368 That likely proves your point, though I can't read it. Adding the e, but keeping the word there, as in this case Discord is preventing Photo from doing her job so the use of it works regardless.

Yay, maybe this story will get to the sex some time before S5!
I'm just kidding, take your time. This was good, I love those chance boxes. Can't wait for next update!

A few questions regarding OC: Would you prefer male or female characters? Rapists or rapees? Would you like for us to make a suggestion (box-induced gender change, for instance) or would you rather we just give you the basics and you let your imagination run wild?

As for canon characters: My fingers are crossed for Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara to end up with Snips and Snails! Oh, the delicios irony of the two preppy rich bitches ending up with the loser squad is just too good to pass up! Especially since we know the boys like girls with an attitude...

I have high hopes for this fic, it seems like it's well filled out without being heavy.

4371795 Already have plans for all four of them actually, but they'll have their time to shine. Just not necessarily all at once.

For the submissions, either gender, and any fetishes that appeal to you, and for male characters any mares you'd specifically like to claim. For female characters, any stallions you'd like them to be claimed by. Fair warning however, those requests don't mean 100% your character will get to have them.

Is it wrong of me that I really, really, really want them to find the box with Discord's name in it?

Yeah, I'm sure the odds against that are ridiculous -- he always rigs the game in his favor -- but the fact that he left them that opportunity at all means they could, theoretically, find it. The thing about playing the odds are that odds are just odds; Charlie Bucket got a Golden Ticket from buying just two Wonka candy bars, and Prim Everdeen got called for the Hunger Games with just one lottery entry, her very first time, despite her sister having something like twelve entries every year for the past few years. It just takes one pony to get lucky.

Ideally, approximately thirty seconds after Twilight has just accidentally pulled the one that turns her into a stallion.

A new story should be up soon, not in this but a collab with the creator of Fall of Equestria. It'll detail Twilight Velvet and Daring Do, and how the pair are handling the fall. The story's complete just waiting on approval from the creator of FoE. Feel free to come check it out when it's up!

On the one hand, FoE is a pretty grim and unsettling thing. But a Diamond Dog is a rare thing. And Game of Estrus is nice. So while it seems to reference the rather disatrous Fall stuff, at least there's impreg and a Diamond Dog.

4500061 I'm a huge fan of the Diamond Dogs, as for the grimdark aspects, I plan to leave a bit larger of a ray of hope at the ending than FoE has.

4500827

You have no idea how good it is to hear that, how relieved it makes me feel, in both cases. The ray of hope is an essential thing. Otherwise... FoE is even more disturbing. It already reads like an MRA's manifesto, devaluation of all females, mutilation and amputation of limbs to reduce personal power included. That UCSB spree killer practically created his own version with humans.

Diamond Dogs are criminally underused. Sometimes it seems like only Rust and I even bother to imagine they might be good. Or sexual. To find someone else is a delight.

4500937 As someone who enjoys FoE, and is in contact with it's creator, it's really not meant to be a MRA thing. It's just a fetish, like any other fetish, hell the main artist is a woman. Porn and sexuality doesn't really need to have a political leaning on it, I mean I'm either writing or planning stories where the mares of Equestria are raped and impregnated, one set in FoE focused of Daring Do being sent out to be raped for stories, one where Snails is a cuck for Twist, or Big Mac goes through College as a porn star. I still tend to side toward more feminist ideals when it comes to real life, I'm just not big on giving rights to fictional characters.

As for comparing someone with a fetish to the eternal asshole that killed women because they 'owed him sex', I'm going to ask that you refrain from doing that in the comments of my stories. A lot of my fetishes lean toward the darker side of things, most of those thanks to my now ex-girlfriend who was into said concepts (vore, guro, etc., and she goes even further than I'm comfortable with on those) , and the comparison is more than a little insulting.

4501155

It gets hard to tell when the action is that... gleefully undertaken. Especially with characters that are greatly enjoyed and often seen as happy. I understand there is a necessary division but why mult there be such cheer when say, Rarity, is de-horned or Dash is de-winged? Maybe I have overmuch empathy because I've been churning these stories out about these characters. Or too much general humanism. I can't see "crafting" a world that has such a terrible implication for half the population (it claws at my veil of ignorance) when just considering the idea throws up "this seems very cruel" flags.

I do apologize forthe comparison. I have vore friends as well. Heck, Bronystories is my collaborator on a lot of things. But I don't understand the impetus. And lack of understanding is almost physically painful, in that it can trigger an anxiety attack if I just can't grasp it. I would editthe comment but editing crashes my phone.

I get that they're fake women, but in some sense they represent ideas of women. And that may be the empathy trigger. Maybe if there were also men being castrated so the world seemed less overtly sexist. Weirdly, equal torment makes more sense because it seems more fair and possible. If everyone suffers it's just another wasteland story. (Though I pretty well will continue to refer to the Northmen as Facists because that's the impression they leave.)

4501155

Missed a minor point: I noted elsewhere the irony of misogynistic stories is that they come off as almost even more misandrist. With the women as victims empathy from readers can come. But by the creator's need most or all the men are unrepentant monsters. As a man that's sort of a shocking thing to see. I get ashamed to be a man if that's how I'm shown in a story. And it implies no male would stand and fight. Every dictatorship had opposition, no matter how batscat crazy the dictator was.

4502024 I'm going to be frank here, what you're asking is for us writers to censor ourselves to make others more comfortable. As a writer yourself you should know this is never the correct course of action. We put up our warnings and if they're ignored, it ceases to be our job or responsibility to defend your sensibilities. I apologize for the bluntness of that, but I can't abide that type of thought pattern. Writing is never going to please everyone, but world's like these can be fun to write for some of us. It doesn't make us misogynistic or misandristic, it just means we like the fantasy we like. we can write rape but not be a rapist, we can write about a woman without being a woman, and we can about taboo topics but not support those in reality. I understand you're not comfortable with the cheeriness of FoE along side the brutality of it, but that doesn't make it bad for the juxtaposition or you wrong for not liking it. People like different things, people who like something different than you might don't need their work or person attacked, and you don't need attacked for not liking it. The warnings are there, if they displease you feel free to ignore it, be it my work or anyone else's.

4502496

I understand it all. It makes perfect sense. I've just taken on the position of wondering about what may come of such a divided mind. Could I interact peacably with a member of a group that I hurt in fantasy? Actually, that could make for a good paper. It's really a fascinating point. I never even intended for these comments to lead anywhere. Honestly I had been hoping that your focus would be on the "Diamond Dog" thing. They're really way too rare.

I'm terribly sorry for the needless commentary that strayed away from purely story-focused elements. I should restrict any such commentary to my Etiamsi Omnes, Ego Non universe, where men can be socially positive. I think I've sound the downside to being a socialist. Being focused on the details of social constructions, even in fiction. Damn you, CK, why did you send me all those books on contemplation?

Fall of Equestria story is up! Please go and give it a read.

4501967
4502568
4500937

It's a good thing you apologised, Gabriel. I respect you as a writer; I've commented on your stories in the past. We've not always seen eye to eye, but that's only natural. However, that comparison was insulting enough that I considered just blocking you.

I happen to like Fall of Equestria. I like almost everything about it: The seeming one-sidedness of oppression, the tongue-in-cheek twisting of Show Equestria into a perverted caricature, the range of fetishes, the opportunities to take part in building it, the opportunities for roleplaying...

I also happen to make sure I endorse candidates who are pro-choice, equal pay, and don't have a history of saying things that would lead one to believe they would legislate in a misogynist fashion, or act like it towards other people. I've never injured a girl in my entire life—I'd sooner tear off my own arm. And that's not because I think they're any less capable than a boy would be. Heck, I've had a grand total of two (2!) scuffles in my lifetime, neither of which I started and both of which were in defense of a friend who couldn't protect themselves at the time.

So, to be lumped in with that sad, deranged murderer is... upsetting. To say the least.

I really wish I could like this. This would be such a great set-up for some romance, some crack shipping. Kind of a way to overcome shyness and confess love. Couples that have been together for so long could reignite the flame, so to speak.

Instead, you frame it around rape and slavery. Happy couples will probably be torn apart, innocent creatures will be enslaved against their will, and all due to Mary Sue villains and "Because fuck you, I said so" writing. Nice. If you like these characters so much—I can only assume you do, since you're writing for the fandom—why do this to them? I know, "fetishers gonna fetish," but... blah, whatever. Ignore me, as I will ignore your story. No downvote... despite the walls of text and exposition, which appears to be a systemic problem for your writing., it's not badly written.

4505837

I always apologize when I'm wrong. I also state opinions as I see things, sometimes with a filter if I feel the need to... well, let's not prevaicate, lie through my teeth in order to keep the peace or impress a person who can do something for me.

So, I once again wish I had edit powers. I actually tried four times. Sometimes it works. Four crashes later I can see it's futile.

4505863

Read the original "Game of Estrus." There's no FoE connection. It actually does have some rekindling/affirmation of affection. There are some bad things too but it's a bit more even.

I've got more Etiamsi stories going.

4506107

Honestly? I don't really mind bad things happening. It's the ending that matters to me: characters can suffer, but is there a light at the end of the tunnel? Are we sitting here, watching these girls get raped and enslaved, only to see them end that way and condemned to a life of such things? Or will things eventually work out.

Etiamsi?

4506369

From the arc of the story bad things will happen, but there does seem to be a happy ending in the cards, potentially. Derpy's chapter is actually very sweet.

Etiamsi Omnes, Ego Non. The Fall of Equestria story about The Black Knight. The one with the poem and the Chaplin-inspired speech.

4506735

Ah! Yay! For your story, I mean!

I see "Spike WANT" coming for Velvet, Sparkle, and Rarity.

Update faster please

Can we expect an update anytime soon?

4762872
4935597
Real life's been kicking me in the ass lately. It's likely to be put on hiatus for a while so I can focus on the Daring Do fic. Which I'm probably going to cut the next chapter of that into three parts due to size. Following that this will likely receive a rewrite to bring up the quality. Progress hasn't been made on this for a while, but I'm hoping to avoid abandoning it.

You know you'd have a massive hoard of readers if you updated this. I'd like to see more sometime. Great premise, interesting story, and varied enough from the other version that I want to know how it goes.

I was willing to give this the benefit of the doubt and a real chance, i really was. When i saw you said it was inspired by Game of Estrus, a fic i've enjoyed because, despite the clop, it has a really good story, this one has dropped off that potential list as of chapter three.

You wanna know why? I was willing to accept everything at first, the mare's becoming slaves to whomever impregnates them, discord's rules (since they started off the same as Game of Estrus' rules) i was even, if only just, willing to overlook the foalcon and the fact you have made it so little fillies are now able to not only become pregnant, but will also become slaves. Even the chance boxes seemed good, made me really interested.

But you lost any chance of respect for a good story after one, fatal error in fucking up moral. FALL OF EQUESTRIA! Really? You really had to make all those males, even spike and big mac, misogynistic bastards? Really? You don't think the fact that you've got three evil creatures planning to overthrow the princesses and the whole slaves to whoever impregnates a mare thing wasn't enough? Because, seriously, IT WAS. It was just enough. Once you add the whole every male from the other tent thinking of females as beneath them thing, YOU GO TO FAR! That shit should only be in Fall of Equestria and stay there. Keep it out of this!

And yes, i know you put it as a warning, but i didn't notice it til now that you said you were also inspired for this by FoE.

And i know i won't be the only one who thinks this once they read discord say that! Everything else is tolerable, but the whole males seeing females below them is TOO FAR! In FoE, fine, but here, in what could've been a great story of emotional strengthening, keep it out of it!

I seriously hope you will reconsider that part of the story and change it, because otherwise it's overkill... no, that's not even a strong enough word for it. It's beyond overkill, like, light-years beyond overkill, millennia beyond overkill, so i seriously hope you change it.

I like Game of Estrus because the author knows how far to take things and even with discord making applejack his slave, he still hasn't gone too far. You, however, have already gone to far before the first mare even gets pregnant, so please step back and reconsider just how far you're taking that. Making the males unbelievably horny and unable to control themselves around those particular mares would be one thing, but what you've put in here? No! Seriously, just NO!

Goodnight to you sir and please think about what i've said carefully

5626479 i;d be fine with it if not for the whole making the males like those from Fall of Equestria. Seriously, it's bad enough for the mares and fillies and he does THAT?

4366728

I didn't notice any problems

Really? You don;t think making all the males, even spike and big mac, the kindest males you could find, misogynistic bastards is a problem? That the mares and fillies are going to have it tough enough with everything discord's already done without adding that on top?

4505863 i'm in agreement with you. Game of Estrus knew where to keep from going too far, but this is just too much. I'd personally be okay with it, if not for the FoE ideals the males will now all have. I feel that's just pushing it too far

sorry if my earlier comment sounded so angry, but it's true, my points still stand on what i said. Making the males so honry they don't care about fucking any mare afflicted by the game (even they're little sisters in mac's case) sounds more sound and makes sense. When you make it that all the males will think the females beneath them, it actually makes things a bit dull.

Game of Estrus was good because you didn't know how a stallion would react once he'd impregnated and enslaved a mare. There's the chance they'd be understanding and kind about it, willing to help the mare in new forced life, or they'd turn into monsters for those under their thrall.

Sadly, you've stated every male as being monsters right from the get-go, making it bland. In FoE, it's understandable. You know that the majority of males are like that and therefore expect it. Here, it just doesn't work and makes everything so one-sided.

And, even if you take my advice, i agree with what a privious commenter said about Diamond and Silver being impregnated and enslaved by Snips and Snails. Though, since you've (i think) suggested that scoots is a Hermaphrodite, maybe her impregnating them would be more justful.

However, my point still stands that this story would be a lot better without the FoE ideals for all the participating males. Scoots and the others could even come together and plan on how scoots would claim diamond and silver. That would be fun to read.

4390175 i don't think it wrong at all. I'm actually hoping on seeing twi r63 each other and Twi claiming discord. Oh, karma is such a lovely thing

4371795 yeah, but there's suggestion that scoots is a Hermaphrodite. Wouldn't it be more ironic and justful if SHE impregnated and enslaved them? I can easily imagine scoots and the other crusaders planning on how to get them.

6143380
The Fall of Equestria inspiration isn't the males being misogynistic, it's the invasion and overthrowing of the Equestrian oligarchy. The males aren't going to see the mares as beneath them unless it fits their character, a few of them will but for the most part the ones who do fall firmly in villain territory, some of which without Discord's help . So yeah, might not wanna toss out those accusations just yet. I'm likely to start rewriting the first couple of chapters soon and continuing this. Kind of miss it.

6174189 i apologize. i didn't know that was your plan. I jumped on that conclusion due to Discord saying this

“The males of your town are having their lovely little minds rearranged right now. Their inhibitions lowered, their libidos increased, and each one being retaught to see mares as the inferior sex.”

You can see how i made the wrong conclusion from what you just told me, when i read that sentence and that it stated inspiration from FoE.

thank you for responding though and clearing thing up for me