The long and incomplete life of a cursed pony

Fleur de Lis527 stories ·661 members

The long and incomplete life of a cursed pony

This story has been marked as having adult content. Please click below to confirm you are of legal age to view adult material in your country.

Confirm

Comments ( 6 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 6
- Newest First
- Oldest First

easonhooves

easonhooves #1 · Oct 17th, 2012 · · · At the end his curse is cured ·

(FIRST) *reads title Why is this in clopfics?

*reads discription* DAFUQ

The desert brony

The desert brony #2 · Oct 17th, 2012 · · · At the end his curse is cured ·

Ok this bugs me to no end so i'm going to point out a few errors that make this a tad hard to read. i'm only going to mark the first six I come across.

let me say first I’ve been thinking in write about if from a long time

This is confusing to read

; the first thing I’ll do as soon the curse is lifted from me

I believe you are missing an as in here.

I was actually starting to worry about be held in that curse forever.

I think you mean being

Let me start with the beginning of it all,

this needs a period.

my name or whose pony I was isn’t so important anymore,

Just who would be far better. Whose is like asking "Whose is that?"

let me just start recalling this young mare with gipsy inclinations

Insert by in here.

If English is not your first language I do apologize, but do try to get a proofreader or editor to help avoid stuff like this.

TrollestiaSubject

TrollestiaSubject #3 · Oct 17th, 2012 · · · Trixie's Curse ·

1458775
I've been looking for someone to take the job, aren't you interested? I pay with frienship

Limelight01

Limelight01 #4 · Oct 19th, 2012 · · · Trixie's Curse ·

i've got an ok amount of free time. i'm willing to help. though i cant promise it'll be perfect, it'll hopefully be easier to read and understand. also. aside from the obvious lack of English the fic it self is good.

Charles Wolfe