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Scootaloo writes a story on her life to win a contest to get a flight lesson from the Wonderbolts, however she is totally honest with her life no closed life, she tells about the moments of her life that the Wonderbolts weren't ready for.
I ask something from you guys. If you favorite this story, can you click the like button too now?
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You have my upmost interest.
My heart exploded.
This touched my heart... it takes alot to do that so I congratulate you!!! Keep up the beautiful work!! And yes tears were shed this day...
Look at the ad I tring to make this not happen
Needs some clean up and slow down the flow just a tad [reading felt rushed especially towards the end (unless this was meant more as a prologue)]
Otherwise: the concept is cute and would follow this idea
Not the first time I've seen that Spits was Scoots mother (and probably won't be the last) but this was definitely unique. Rather depressing life poor Scootaloo has.
This story has a lot of potential. Scootaloo's story seems very well thought out and tugs at my heart. But at the same time. The story seemed very rushed. Especially the ending where spitfire adopts scoots. If this story is going to have more chapters I think that that should have waited for a little while. Just seemed so sudden. There was no time for spitfire to get to know scoots and vise versa. I feel that scootaloo would be very apprehensive about joining another family because of past experiences laid out by her in her letter to the wonderbolts. Also there is no timeframe for when this story is taking place. Had she just gotten to ponyville? Or has she been there for several months or longer? Is RD her unofficial sister now or has that not happened yet? Or does that not happen in this universe? How much will be canon? Would love to see this story re-written and lengthened with a lot more details. It has a lot of potential.
I thought is was great quick but great
Huh. Well. That was certainly disappointing. I saw that this was a sad Scootaloo story with a slice of life tag and expected something adorably sad that makes you clench your heart. Instead I just got bored hammering words into my eyes that somewhat resembled a story.
This was waaaaaaaaaaaaay too short. You explained nearly nothing, only giving us a blanket "she's doing X because Y" reason, and dump a container of sad on it and say "HERE IS MY STORY!"
I could give you a more in-depth review, but I'm not really sure if it's worth it.
(That is a self-centered way to invite someone to prove that it is.)
2932637 bakecooklove.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/bcl-img_3022.jpg
Why do I imagine Scootaloo smiling as she writes this? Like "My life isn't too bad."
, and the ups and downs Scootaloo goes through learning to trust Spitfire. Remember the last two time she thought she found a loving family? It's not going to be easy for her.
Scootabuse is Scootalove, don't forget that. I look forward to how Spitfire handles a kid like
Her letter was well written but like others said, the ending goes far too fast. I wanna make a certain Rainbow Dash joke but...
2933195 I don't get it. Is there a reference I don't understand? Haha.
2932621 This was a prologue
So what did everyone think of me slipping a nice side to Upper Crest?
2935120 What?
that was so sad
i cant believe this made me cry
Isn't it Upper Crust?
2936106 Oops. I'll fix that real quick.
Spitfire as a mother just doesn't...... feel right.
Even if it was with another foal, Spitfire just doesn't seem ready or have what it takes to be a mother, especially how she treats the other Wonderbolts.
At the end it seemed rushed.
However i can´t wait to see Spitfire being Scoot´s mom. I always enjoy new Concepts
2935259 I don't really believe. Sorry.
The ending was a bit rushed, but so far so good.
2935122
this storys so good
2948902Hey thanks.
This is what happened to me.
i1150.photobucket.com/albums/o606/lil_kel4/beautiful%20lie%20reactions/morpheus-meme-generator-my-heart-has-been-ripped-from-my-chest-spat-upon-dashed-to-the-rocks-urinated-on-by-rapid-sea-otters_zps51df3dc8.png
2948968
I don't know how to respond.
2948978 One question... the blue... or the red?
2949032 The blue.
2948978 Start by asking what "rapid otters" are.
2949063Welcome to the matrix.
i feel as if spit is tricking her but i guss time will tell
2953511 What makes you say that?
2954557 well in the info you said scootaabuse is ahead so im gussing its either gonna be spit or someone else doing that
2955960 Oops I meant to take that out after the first chapter.
2956537 ok that makes sense now i guss thers no scootabuse im so glad tho not big fan of the abuse ones
i loe your work. its kind of odd every scootaloo orphan or scootaloo adoption fan fic strangely has an experience that i have felt whether it be good or bad but none the less beautiful writing
2958211 I don't know if that's a complement or not.
it is sorry but very odd and frequent connections
It´s kinda odd for a Doctor not to tell what the condition is
first off: LOVE IT. Secondly: MOAR. Thirdly: MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR
2999384 That's the thing. He has no idea what the condition is.
So I think the story is a little bit in detailed but never the less a good story.
Oh God, the feels!!!
I won't lie i still just can't put a upvote. this isnt a sad fic its a tragedy.You need to put the tragedy tag.
3012025 Done and done.
I'm feelin nothing man it's to fast paced slow it down bro. Slow it down. I only felt sad in the first 300 words of the first chapter. Slow down and add more to the chapters. What could exist in a lot of this is missing, or at least been shortened.
Something's do go by fast but... No. Your pacing is like a newbie trying to write the best adventure story inside the wrong genre. Sad stories don't need the pace nor do tradgedies. No rush.
Still good just empty.
Don´t feel nothing.
Well i guess i´m a bit annoyed by the fact that the last part seemed completely unnecessary to me. Not even bad, just unnecessary
Honestly? i read it from start to finish and have to say It wasn't one of the better fics I've read.
It was too choppy in places and too fast paced. There's hardly any input with Soarin as her father, and finally a coma? Really? was that really necessary? no, it turned what was an okish fic to a downvote for me, there was just no reasoning for it, and I'm sorry but Spitfire wouldn't just loose control and fall for no reason.
all in all
/ 5
when i read the first chapter when you posted it ages ago it really gave me excitement that someone was writing a scootaloo and spitfire story, however i felt as if it went a little to fast for me, its just the coma part that really confused me , all in all a good story but for me just a little to fast