Into the kitchen she goes.

Source

Princess Luna's royal cook is out for the day and she is told by Celesta this is a great learning experence, So she is gonna try cooking, what could go wrong, right?
(Being rewritten)

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 7 )

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squalllockheart

squalllockheart #1 · May 5th, 2013 · · ·

Not bad, I was expecting half the palace to explode. Just one thing to keep in mind, new speaker, new paragraph. Other then that this was a nice break from everything else I read .

jaramat

jaramat #2 · May 6th, 2013 · · ·

...SAID Celestia
...SAID Luna
...SAID the sun princess
...SAID Luna
...asked Shadowrain
...SAID the cheerful alicorn
...SAID Shadowrain
...asked the night princess
...SAID Shadowrain
...SAID Luna
...SAID Shadowrain
...SAID one of the unicorn night guards
...SAID the captan (*captain)
...SAID Luna
...Luna SAID

And I can go on and on and on. Man, that's terrible. It looks like you don't know any other verb than SAID. You should replace some of those SAIDs with another word.

Moniker

Moniker #3 · May 6th, 2013 · · 2 ·

2536028 *eye roll*

KawaiiKun

KawaiiKun #4 · May 27th, 2013 · · ·

Sorry... I'm sure this would be a great story, and the whole idea of it is good, but... Well, please pardon my honesty, but it's far too poorly written in order to follow or enjoy to the fullest. I feel like i'm watching a really boring sitcom with horrible, monotone characters.

Needs a little work, and I noticed quite a few spelling and grammar errors. You got the creativity part down, so now you just need to get it in order and delivered well enough. I give you credit for the idea (though there are many Luna vs Technology fics out there), but the rest is just kind of... Well, like this