“You know Prince Blueblood?”
“Is he as handsome as he looks?”
“Did you kiss him?”
“Did you-”
“Enough! All of you! Back away from me!” Rarity said as she waved her hoofs at them angrily. Each mare muttered to themselves and began to giggle. Rarity blushed hot out of embarrassment.
“You probably don’t like him because he’s a stallion. Like mares much?”
“I do not!”
Rarity has to deal with her mixed feelings for mares and prove that those ponies are wrong. So after her invite to Canterlot, she has to date Prince Blueblood to see if he's changed. But Twilight has deep feelings for Rarity, and watches the white unicorn's every move.
It was so hard to find an Alicorn Twilight and Rarity picture. So head up is better than nothing.
Chapters (10)
I like the story so far, but the dialogue feels a bit... blunt. It just feels a little forced. I like how you work with the personalities of Rarity and Twilight already. Also maybe try a little more description on what's physically going on. But, this is all just my opinion, take it how you will.
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Thanks, Modernspear, for pointing that stuff out. I'll make sure to change that a little. Thanks again!
Hope you have something for Spike since Rarity will 'play with the other team.'
2852279
Ha, ha! That's a good idea. Wasn't my intention to do something with him, but I'll see what I can do. Also, thanks for all the favs, everybody!
This is the test for you, then...
Twilight has just told Spike, the child she's been raising, that she has a crush on Rarity.
Both of the ponies that he loves, one as something undefinable and family like, one romantically, have feelings for one another. No matter how this ends, he must give up something for both of them if he wishes them to be happy, at the cost of his own happiness.
Twilight knows, knows, knows that Spike has been crushing hard on Rarity the second that he saw her.
Now, Spike is sitting there, in front of the closest creature to him in his life, eagerly anticipating helping her, as he always has, unaware of what she is about to say.
And then she says it.
Twilight's tear... good show...
How are you, BlazingFlame, going to deal with Twilight betraying Spike? How are you going to let the dragon know that Twilight, the creature who means the most to him in the world, has usurped his feelings for the pony he has pined for all this time? How will he react, screaming, crying... resignation? Or, something else? Something new? Something...
A hard choice to make, my friend, and all I can say is bravo for actually dealing with this now, unlike some other authors who gloss over this subject.
I await with baited breath, sir...
2853673
I haven't even written a betrayal from Twilight yet. After all, Twilight loves Spike. Sure she knows Spike loves Rarity, but that tear...was a bit out of regret and confusion. Twilight knows Spike loves Rarity, but for some reason these new feelings are overwhelming her. She doesn't know what to do. And as for Spike, who will have a place in the next few chapters, will cry, scream, and will eventually try verything to change Twilight's decision.
I always love a sweet challenge. Get your game on!
We all know how Spike gets when he's jealous or upset, as shown hilariously in the episode Owl's Well Ends Well. And I watched it a few times to see what I could do. So...spoiler, sadly, Spike will do everything I said, but get over it and move on. I see Spike as a small child, because in reality, he is, and Rarity is...older than him. My judgement by a range too far for the crush to ever become...love.
Spike is one of my favorite characters and I hate to do this to him. I really do. But Spike has to realize having a hopeless crush isn't going to get him anywhere. After all, Rarity treats him like she would a small foal. Rarity considers Spike adorable. She even calls him, Spikey-Wikey, which would be a pet name any typical girl gives to a cute little boy younger than her. I know this because my friends did it all the time, and I facepalmed myself a couple of times for it.
So, congrats on making it this far in a story of answers, and my explanations. I haven't done something like this since my regents exams. Thank you for the question...I know I may have gotten this wrong, but who cares. I still have my story, and I know what to do to make it intriguing. Mail me, if that's possible, anything else. And thanks again, for the sweet challenge. I'll take those choices of yours as a request.
"I'm just a part of you that you're trying to fight. I am you're love for Twilight,"
*your
Sorry but sometimes I just HAVE to swing the grammar hammer
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Heh, now I feel the need to apologize! It wasn't my intent to suggest that you had to move the story in any certain way, it is your story to tell.
That being said, all I wanted to say was that I applaud your choice to deal with Spike's emotions in this situation, especially so early. Do keep in mind that Spike learned a lesson in "Owl's Well", and that he does love Twilight, too.
If this were my story, the whole next chapter would be Spike and Twilight "hugging it out" until they reach a conclusion, and Spike decides that their happiness is more important than his crush... somehow I doubt that's what you are thinking.
As for the ages thing, I agree that Spike is a child, but not very young... maybe twelve. He's very complex, and as I said, I applaud you for investigating his emotions so early in such a work when many authors simply ignore him. That being said, you've written a shipping story that has caught my attention. As I see the girls as young themselves (they remind me far too much of the teens that I work with), I find most shipping farcical anywho, so you've won a victory in keeping me interested.
Best of luck!
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Another day another victory. Thanks Descendant. I won't let you or the other readers down. But if I make errors on the way, this is my first rodeo for shipping, hope its forgivable. And I wish you luck with any stories you make as well!
2854389
I make grammar errors a lot of the time. I can't believe that got past my eye when I proofread. Thanks, and it's best to point it out, so I know exactly where it is. So here, a moustache of a thanks.
Please tell me that Spike will take it softly.
2855029
Yeah...knowing Spike and his feelings, I already have a plan, thanks to Descendant. Just sit back, relax, and patiently wait for the next chapter. A moustache and smile for you.
Might not be posting a new chapter for a little while. Writer's block has really gotten to me. But I promise I'll break through that block. Like a boss.
Yet again, sorry. 
If I was Twilight, I wouldn't have let those guards off so easily.
Ok. Premise sounds interesting. Sparitwilight with Bluity added? Wow, that's an intense ship.
Poor Spike both Twilight and Rarity better help him or something terrible will happened.
Scaly you mother bucking ass hole!
Loving the Smeagol/Gollom play here. Very Nice.
Gollum/Smeagol and the witch from Snow White in Spike? Crossover more!
Next chapter, Spike will be thrown into a volcano? =D
Please, keep up the good work, your fanfic is great!
Maybe as a twist prince blueblood is secretly gay but in denial and uses rarity as a beard of sorts to convince himself and others hes not until he meets big mac or some other stallion and drama develops from there.
Thanks, everybody! To be truthful, I didn't plan on doing the whole Smeagol/Gollum thing. I was just writing the dialogue, and it was late at night, so my brain...I don't even wanna know. I realized before I posted it that I did the whole play. And well, it turned out to bring success. Thanks again, everybody!
First chapter... there's no subtlety at all. While we know from the description and the like what the story is about, you basically tell us everything we need to know until "conflict" starts right here. Rarity's already basically in denial that she's got bi/curious or gone full lesbian and really wants Twilight. There's no build up to true discovery, because at this point from her thoughts alone she's doing everything she can to hide the facts from herself. It's only the first chapter, you're being very blunt and... sort of rushing things.
You got this Twilight go get her.
As for you Scaly stay the fuck out of Spike's head
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Can't wait for next chapter!!!!!
You`re kidding. You`re kidding, right?
I thought I`m onto something enjoyable... Until the dialogue between Rarity and Sweetie Belle. For crying out loud, how am I supposed to remain sympathetic to a character that ought to be arrested for attempted child neglect?
Seriously, it`s awful. If Rarity were to send Sweetie Belle to live with parents... Well, that would be a bit cold, but understandable. But "You`re staying in clubhouse" bit? This is crazy.
2955505
Aren't you being a bit harsh? Rarity isn't responsible for her sister, not technically. She doesn't have to put up with Sweetie if she doesn't want to, and Rarity is known to be harsh and cold at times. Generosity doesn't equate to kindness.
I liked it, and I feel that Rarity is an underwritten character in most fan fictions. Either people in the fandom hate her and make her out to be a huge bitch all the time to everyone, or they're horny little boys who make her an overtly compassionate slut.
I think this is a happy medium.
SR~ Out!
This forbidden relationship would be the end of Equestria as we know it.
This is sad.
Why am I reading Prince BlueBlood's lines in Will Shatner's voice?
Either way this is one pretty good fic. Greatly enjoying it so far
3013122
Thanks. I'm glad you're enjoying it. I'll need all the support I can get!
I got a feeling in the back of my mind that this is going to end with Shining Armor taking poor Spike into a Canterlot back alley to "Talk" about what's Spike's done to Cadance and his little sister.
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"That's right..."
3012452 Indeed it is. Poor Shining...
Also surprisingly dark.
2941685 Well it's a good thing you did decide that Spike should be insane. That possessive dumbass was miles from the friendly, level-headed smartass he is in canon. Nice that you justified his ridiculous attitude, but the other flaw still remains: Twilight, in canon, has barely done jack shit to earn the right to call herself Spike's mother. She treats him like a friend, partner, brother, assistant, and sometimes even a punching bag, but never a son.
2931029 Yeah, he'll get thrown into a volcano, but only to cool off until Scaly's outta there.
3035523
Well, if you really think about it, Twilight has taken care of Spike since he was born, so...last time I checked...if you raise something, pet or whatever, you're its parent. Since Twilight has indeed raised Spike for a long time, she can be considered his mother.
3035556 I have really thought about it. A little filly who has just earned her cutie mark and begun her education being given the responsibility of raising a newborn belonging to a species they know nothing about? That would be mind-bogglingly irresponsible for anyone who has more authority than a five-year-old child. Plus we never saw them grow up together, so it's entirely possible Twilight never saw Spike after he hatched until a few months before the pilot episode. And he's not a pet.
3019384 You mean Scaly.
This fic keeps taking unexpected turns with each new chapter it seems. Strangely enough you seem to be making it work in your favor.
Also so far this is the only fanfic that has made me sort of not like Cadance (Favorite Princess and all that.) So props for that as well
3035674
I didn't mean pet for him, I meant comparison to like, real life and stuff. I mean, some people can agree that Twilight could have taken care of Spike. But every story can have its own...background, you know? If no one knows, might as well make it up.
I really tried to like this but I can't really believe any of the characters doing any of this stuff.
when is update coming?
Wtf? Shining Armor is dead? Okay I call bullshit.
The 10th chapter title should be Take Ten-Thirteen: Sparks at Ponyville, Luna's Patience and the Restless Night.
Have you lost the direction of the story, or have taken it in another direction than originally intended?
Seeing that the next chapter (Take Fourteen, which is seen at the beginning of the first chapter.) references things that haven't happend in the story so far...
~ChocoLatte
But more please...?
3035807
So is this story dead..... or what?
The story is still very good, it has interesting twists.
