Fluttershy was just minding her business when she felt her life force being drained from her. Slightly tired she went home and found a life-drained Chrysalis on the way. When Fluttershy takes the queen in to harbor and take care of, she discovers a new chaos is rising. It will drain every drop of magic and life, and make everypony lifeless puppets. It's up to Fluttershy to heal Chrysalis, teaching her the magic of friendship. Only there's one more downside. Fluttershy is a bit nervous to tell her friends exactly who she's harboring, regardless the chaos Chrysalis claims only the queen of changelings can stop.
Chapters (7)
not bad, Flutters is usually a little more withdrawn and shy but Chrissy is rather cowed but that can be explained with the darining spell.
not to bad, liked, faved and followed
I like it
Strange, little too much twisted but lets see how it will roll
Chrysalis redemption/pro-Chrysalis fic+ Sequel to one of the best episodes?
The grammar wasn't bad at all, but the story did go by a little quickly. It just so seemed that Fluttershy was thinking out loud too much at some points, and explaining without realizing it what was happening to her. "Wow, it's hot," Fluttershy said with a sigh. "I should get going. I feel as though my energy is being drained from me, like Chrysalis drained Shining Armor,"This sentence was kind of obvious at what the point of the story is, and I had a slight problem with it. But what do I know, I'm 12! "B-but I don't understand. I never left food out. Or did I? Wait…I can't remember anything from this morning, that's strange. It must be because I'm really tired," This wasn't all that bad, but also a little over-talking. Don't take it to heart though, because, again, I'm only 12. I have no experience whatsoever with writing stories, but I do read a lot. I'm pretty sure I'm younger than you so, there's no need to take my advice.
Amazing conclusion. No mistakes whatsoever this time ^^ You did a really great job
Love? Uhh thats little fast, maybe that spell wasn't only memory helper ;p
Still smell OOC from Fluttershy.
Huh. over a hundred views and 9 likes 1 dislike...interesting.
Alright... cant take this anymore... added to favorites and emailing updates to Raxyn Shadowthief...
Good story, keep going... Pleash?
(Here's some cheering.)
Louder!
Louder!!
LOUDER!!!
Too loud?
2922840
Thanks! Fluttershy's yays and your cheering might be what it takes to help me do better!
Mind Master Fluttershy!
After reading about Sombra's smoke being there I was reminded of the game Fear Equation.
This story is good but it could definitely use some work with pacing. Otherwise as I said it is good. Also I'm still reminded of the fog from Fear Equation every time I hear of Sombra's smoke.