Colgate: Heroine of Helpless Horses Who Are Hurt

by Lucky Seven

One-Shot

Colgate: Heroine of Helpless Horses Who Are Hurt

Written by Seven81493

Edited by Miss Dark Angel

As I look down upon Manehattan, a thought enters my mind. Without me, these ponies would be helpless. I’m the reason this city has been free of crime for the past year.

Yes, you heard right. I’ve kept this town clean of cavities, tooth decay, plaque, and even chipped teeth for an entire year. I know, I know. I’m awesome, no need to tell me. But yeah, without me, this town would be done for. And it looks as if something is going on down there. Multiple lights are flashing out of the windows of a nearby building, and it’s my job to see if they’re partying in a healthy manner.

Effortlessly, I leap and bound from building to building, making my way down to ground level. Eventually, I land and find myself in front of one of the most horrible places you can possibly go to.

A nightclub...

I shudder just at the thought of stepping one hoof in there, but I have no choice. With no choice but to stop this nightclub menace, I stand on my hind legs and kick down the front door karate style. All heads turn towards me as I make my way inside. Every pony in this town knows who I am, and nopony would dare to try and stop me.

No pony except for her.

Ever since I began protecting this town from the relentless onslaught of tooth related issues, she’s been there to thwart me.

“DJ-Pon3, what do you think you’re doing?!”

As I yelled at the deejay behind the turntables responsible for providing the club with its music, she lifted her stupid looking sunglasses up. Upon noticing it was me who had yelled at her, she gives a smirk.

“Toothpaste Mane, how nice of you to come...”

“Don’t patronize me, Pon3! You know why I’m here! I know about the black market candy sales you’re running!”

“Let me guess. You’re here to try and stop me, aren’t you?”

“You’re darn right I am!” I yell at her, confident that I’m about to put this mare in her place.

“All right, but if you think it’s going to be easy...” she replies to me, lifting a few vinyl records into the air with her magic.

Epic Fight Music

“...You’ve got another thing coming.”

As my sworn enemy says that, she lets loose the records right in my direction. Swiftly, I duck and roll to the right, before tipping over a table and taking cover behind the round top. I would say sorry to the ponies that were using it, but I have bigger concerns at the moment. Namely the insane mare hurling vinyl records at me. Though it seems as if she has a pattern, and it shouldn’t be too hard to figure out.

By now, everypony has cleared out of the club, leaving just the deejay and I. Suddenly, I see my opening and take off towards her at lightning speed while she reaches down to get more records. By the time she lifts her head up to look at me, I’ve thrown a right hook that connects with her jaw, knocking her to the floor. As she rubs it, I decide to make a quip.

“Your jaw hurts? Maybe you should take better care of your teeth.”

“You know,” she begins responding to me, “that would have been a good one-liner if this fight was actually over.”

Giving a scowl, I ready myself for another attack, which comes incredibly quickly. The alabaster mare jumps and extends a hind hoof towards me, hoping to land a jump kick, but I roll to the left at the last possible second. With no way to react, Pon3 is helpless to my next move. Grabbing hold of her fore legs swiftly, I spin her around in my grasp and let her loose, sending her flying into the club’s bar. As she contacts it, it breaks into hundreds of pieces and I’m forced to shield my eyes, lest I get shards of wood in them.

But just as it appears as if I’ve won, the deejay takes advantage of my situation, swooping out and landing a left hook on my head, next to my right eye. Before I have time to react, I feel pressure on my chest and realize she’s thrown me down to the floor. I shield my face just as she rains punches down onto it. As I look for something, anything, to aid me, I take notice of a leg that had broken off of one of the bar’s stools when her body had impacted it.

I begin reaching my right hoof for it, but this leaves my face vulnerable. As I feel the first blow hit my nose, I grab hold of the leg. As a second blow hits right below my left eye, I slam the leg into the side of her head, causing her body to go limp. I let out a sigh of relief, happy to have come out of the fight the victor. Using my right foreleg, I push her body off of mine and get up slowly. It looks as if her black market candy selling has come to an end. But just as I’m about to leave, a large shadow makes itself apparent, being cast from behind me.

As I turn around, I come face to face with my worst nightmare.

“Come on, Colgate, it’s time for dinner.”

“But mom! I have to report Vinyl to the authorities! It’s what a true hero would do!”

“Well, you can report your sister to the authorities after dinner, now come on. You too, Vinyl.”

Reluctantly, I follow my parental unit to the kitchen, where dinner awaits. Vinyl is close behind, and I whisper to her, “Get ready, sis’, because the true battle begins after dinner.”

“Oh, it’s on!”

At this point I can’t help but think to myself, I’m totally gonna be a superhero when I grow up.

Author's Note:

And so ends this chapter of our hero’s tale! What will happen next? Will she be able to defeat Vinyl after dinner? And for that matter, will she even like her dinner? I know I hated MY diner as a kid!

These questions and more will be answered...

Never!

But seriously, I hope you liked the story. I just felt like writing something with a cute ending for once. That, and I wanted to do something with Vinyl that DIDN’T involve dubstep, Octavia, or music in general. Plus, I gave her a sister! Yay!

Also, a few songs were taken into consideration for the fight scene before I settled on "Decadence" by Disturbed. The other 3 that were in the running to be used are listed below.

Comments

[Bazing]

what....?

[The Accursed One]

One word: Strange...
Also, may I make a suggestion as to the description? Unless you don't want every two lines to rhyme, that is. If I were you, I'd have the second to last line be something like this:
"So, criminals, better watch what you do!"
Disregard this if you think it is fine already/are too lazy to change the description/have a better idea/just don't feel like it.
And remember, always never forget to remember that your writing is awesome. And better than mine. Also, remember that sixes fear you now.
This has gone on too long. To close this, have a Scootaloo, because Scootaloo be awesome.

[MillionsBane]

I find it amazing that the ad below the story is a Colgate® Toothpaste ad. Did you do that?

[Dusty Sage]

I admit it, I laughed my fool head off. (I should be able to replace it before continuing to the Add Comment button.)

[EctoCat]

I like the Colgate poem you made

[xoid]

>Read the short description, chuckle.
>Read the long description. Decidedly “meh”… It’s not an improvement.
>Already here, might as well read the story anyway.
Mission Accomplished I guess?

Liked the story, and while I don’t consider it worthy of a favourite I do consider it worthy of a thumbs‐up.

[GeodesicDragon]

Very cute.

Liked and favourited.

[Lucky Seven]

2961288 Thanks!

[NorthernHaste21]

colgate best pone
images.wikia.com/mlpfanart/images/7/77/Colgate_clapping_by_Mihaaaa.gif

[Morphy]

Aww, that was cute.

Colgate (Minuette) and Vinyl Scratch are sisters??? *Mind blown*

Speaking of minds being blown. Would it be asking too much to see one-shots of those AT&T commercial with the suit asking a few kids a question? Just swap out the Kindergardeners with foals of about the CMC's age. (See? Ponies make everything better!)

[Grazy Polomare]

Wow, this was a fun read!

Really like the twist that it was all in their heads and the fact that you had them as sisters. I must say this was a nice little one shot.

And what is it about a highly spirited dentist who believes plaque is this world's scum and that the toothbrush is her sword of justice with enamel being her damsel in distress?

[Multitraveler]

In the beginning I was like Yeaaaaah, and in the middle I was like daaaaaaannnnng, but in the end I was like Woooooooaaah.
The story was Tastical, and the twist was adorable.

[Kishin]

Dawww

Let's go on a witch hunt for that 1 disliker

[Tachyon Xenophile]

2961049 assets.diylol.com/hfs/978/0a5/767/resized/professor-derpy-meme-generator-now-i-m-not-saying-ancient-humans-but-ancient-humans-67f9d2.jpg?1322263947.jpg

[MissytheAngle]

Okay, what loser disliked this?

encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRtP_R3BSjYTK7C6NR9gSSvlKG4WvI0MGgz05QipHX9xJuJw71sVA

[Lucky Seven]

2963142 The kind who clearly doesn't care for his life. I mean, you even threatened anyone who did it last night!

[7/29/2013 11:16:05 PM] Missy Netflicks: Looks good! I love it. The ending just makes it too cute.
[7/29/2013 11:16:29 PM] Se7en: Eater of Nines: Whee! I'm just gonna go ahead and upload it now, since I don't careif it gets featured or not
[7/29/2013 11:17:36 PM] Missy Netflicks: Cool! And if someone doesn't like it, well, they better have a good reason or else.

2962738 Yes! We must locate this heathen and give him a reason not to mess with us again!

[elue1234]

Love! That's getting my thumbs up!

[Lucky Seven]

2963333 Thank you!

[elue1234]

2963833 You're welcome, you deserve it! Just like my favorite

[Lucky Seven]

2962738>>2963142 Now we have TWO people to hunt down

[Kishin]

2968675

And shall we have numerous shenanigans such as this?

You can't have a witch hunt for two witches without shenanigans!

[Mayhem Darkshadow]

24.media.tumblr.com/a257ad5165644b1f79354634dfdee284/tumblr_mqo61uYbwk1rj6vd5o1_400.png

This...just awesome. Also, I'm assuming you already know this, but arcum and I decided on letting people put this in the long description of the approved fic

[Pump It Up]

That ending. D'aww!

[Pankrazius]

I cannot help but as you said

"Epic Fight Music"

This was the first thing came to my mind:

But a really cool and cute story.

Liked aaaaand faved.