It only gets weirder-er

by Aiet

A rut on the dark side

So it turns out that Cadence is a liar, she was never nervous at all. Seven times makes you really tired and hungry, which is why I woke up. I was still in the massage parlor when I woke up, Cadence out cold on top of me on a couch. Needless to say she didn't need lessons at all but I'm not complaining though. Ok well maybe a little. The heat from the wax was still in my back not going away, it felt like a dull burning. I have done some kinky stuff but that was a first. I tired to gently push her off of me but she had her hind legs wrapped around my legs like a vice.

“Where do you think you're going?” she picked up her head and looked at me seductively, this was reminding me of Lyra but no so drugging-you-twice-thinking-I-killed-you-and-force-you-to-marry-me look.

“But I'm hungry.” I said with a little whine and pouting. She just put her mouth down to my chest and started running her tongue up to my neck where again she bit me. I was going to have a wonderful time trying to explain all the bite marks on my neck. I was trying not to moan but this was a losing battle.

“Ok maybe one more time.” I said as I closed my eyes but then I heard something. While Cadence was nibbling on my ear I tried to look around. Then I saw the edge of a rainbow mane up high on a shelf. I reached behind me on a table and grabbed a book that was laying there and tossed it at Rainbow Dash. It hit her and caused her to fall off with a yelp but before she could hit the ground Cadence used her magic to stop her. She looked up at us with a nervous chuckle and Cadence grinned evilly.

“If you wanted to watch you just needed to ask. Sit here.” she used her magic to bring Rainbow Dash over to us and then promptly sat her down on my face.

“Here's breakfast.” mean while (hey if you want the clop write it yourself) Luna and Travis were sitting down to a private dinner in her chambers (this would be the first time he as every seen a girls room I'm sure). It was a lovely dinner of deep fried hey fries and salad (I really miss meat and every day Spike looks more and more appetizing) in a candle lit setting.

“... and that's why ah don't bowl any more.” both of them started laughing at another of his (lame) joke. After wards Luna had a more serous look on her face.

“If you don’t mind me asking... why do you... love me?” both of them blushed and Travis pushed around his food on his plate.

“Well... it's hard not to. Ah mean...” she looked him with gentle eyes and when he tried to go on she shot forward and kissed him. She knocked off most of what was on the table and knocked him back to the floor with her on top. She broke the kiss but then blushed hard.

“I'm sorry. I didn't-” Travis put a finger to her lips and smiled. It was a very cheesy moment if you ask me. After wards they picked up what fell off the table and Travis noticed something sitting on a counter. It was a ball gag.

“Oh yes that was a gift from somepony. They said it was to help me sleep better but when I asked Twilight how it worked she wouldn't give me a strait answer.” Travis was a little wide eyed as he looked down and the black strap and red ball.

“Uh that's not what it's used for.” she gave him a confused look and used her magic to pick it up.

“Then what is it for?” he grabbed it from the air and messed with it.

“Well when two people want something different in the bedroom... they use things like this.” she gave him a slightly less confused look.

“How is it used?” he slowly looked up at her and got closer, bringing the ball gag around her.

“Well like this.” he carefully put the ball in her mouth and the strap on the back of her head. Travis thought he would need to change pants when he looked at her. Luna had the most innocent of looks on her face as she had a ball gag on, she then tried talking but was muffled. He was about to take it off of her when the door opened and Twilight came in.

“Princess Luna I was... coming back later.” she slowly back out and closed the door with wide eyes. Leaving this awkward situation, I had manged to get away. After tasting the rainbow while the love dove gave me a mouth hug they went on each other. They were so busy with each other that they never noticed me slip out and I never noticed that I was naked. I kept wondering why guards were giving me strange looks and maids were biting lips and batting eye lashes at me. It wasn't until I ran into Rarity and Applejack did I found out.

“Um darling where are your clothes?” I gave Rarity a weird look and looked down. Eyup, in my birthday suit. At least this time I knew where they were.

“That is a question not for me so I'm going to raid the kitchen again.” I walked pass them while putting a little thrust in my step, give them quiet the eye (and mouth) full. I went to the kitchen once again, I mean skittles are nice but I need something more filling.

“Whatcha cookin'?” Pinkie Pie popped out of no where as I had on a white apron that said kiss the cook's glorious ass.

“Pizza.” I was rolling out the dough and was getting ready to tossed it up and spin it. I failed, never been good at doing that, and just rolled it out again. After putting it in the oven for a minute I was getting ready the rest of the topping but Pinkie had something else in mind.

“... and this and this and this...” she was in a counter tossing down different items for the pizza. Peanut butter, jelly, marshmallows, hot sauce, BBQ, and anchovies.

“What the hell, why not?”

“THIRTY FIVE!” we both ignored the booming voice as I pulled out the dough and we piled on the topping, slipping it back in. As we waited Pinkie Pie picked up a very large whisk, you could fit a small cantaloupe in it, and turned to me with a devilish look on her face. I just shook my head and said.

“Sorry not big enough.” she just cracked a big grin and pulled out an even bigger one, you could fit a watermelon in it.

“Why don’t we check on the pizza, you first.” she put down the whisk and stuck her tongue out at me. We pulled out the pizza and set it to cool off, it looked interesting to say the least. I got a pizza cutter and cut it down the middle, one for me and one for her. Pinkie Pie just shoved hers in her mouth while I looked mine over.

“Here goes nothing.” I brought it to my mouth and took a large bite. It was the most wonderful disgustingly tasty thing I’ve every eaten, like being kicked in the tongue by pure sugar while vomiting. We stuffed our faces and Pinkie Pie pulled something out her tail. She handed it to me and it was my clothes.

“You should have seen them they were going at it like no tomorrow.” I put my clothes back on and we left the kitchen as it was getting close to dark. Everyone had their own rooms and that's where they were heading except me. I had something planed for my virgin friend. It all would have gone smoothly if he hadn't woke up. Luna also happened to be walking the halls as she heard him screaming. She opened his door to find him tied up with his bare ass in the air. I had a glowing red hot brand in my hand.

“What's going on here?” she asked and I just stared at her as Travis sighed in relief.

“It's your mark so he'll be yours forever.” I pointed the brand to her, showing her that it was a crescent moon.

“Ok.” she nodded and turned back out the door.

“Time for your Cutie Mark.” I'm sure he woke up everyone in the castle as I branded both ass checks. He'll heal fast so he'll be fine. I left Travis a mess as he rubbed his healed and throbbing ass. Luna went back in with a confused look.

“Are you ok?” Travis looked up from the floor with a look of disbelief.

“That ass hole just got done brandin' me...” she gave him another confused look.

“What is branding?” I am quiet a wonderful friend, I thought to my self as I made way to the very top of the castle. The night was cool and a soft breeze blow in the air. Even before my pronominal fuck-you-do-what-I-want powers I was still pretty wild and energetic. But it was all ways nice to relax and take everything in. I was on a balcony at the near top of the castle, looking over Canterlot and the land beyond. It was quiet beautiful.

“So you can keep still.” I smiled as this new female voice sounded behind me. Someone I thought would never be here.

“Have you ever realized, that for good or evil, you can stop and look around... It makes me sad.”

“What does?”

“That the two words have to exist so that we can define anyone different from us. They don't exist naturally and yet we try to make everything fit them. Two words that caused so many problems between others.” there was a simple short hum behind me like an answer. We both stood there and looked up at the sky. The many stars dotted all around, seemingly endless and countless.

“And yet you fear evil still.” it was another female voice that I could not mistake and how both of them were here I don't know. I gave a soft chuckle before I spoke.

“No because good or evil there is beauty in everything and that beauty makes me smile.”

“So you fear nothing?”

“A fool fears nothing but a brave man shows no fear. I do fear something and I now everything about it.”

“what is that you fear?” I didn't answer for a few moments, I traced out the patterns the stars made in the night sky.

“My self.” there was more silence before the first voice spoke again.

“And why would you fear your self? Why not just love yourself?” I could hear as two sets of hooves came closer to me each on a different side of me.

“Why do I fear my self? Because I stopped looking under my bed for monsters when I realized their inside me.” there was more silence but then the two leaned closer both with their mouth right by my ears.

“Maybe you would like...”

“... to show us this monster...”

“... for the night.”

“... for the night.” they both said the last three words at once and it sent a cold chill down my back.

“You also asked why do I not just love myself. I do, there's just so much I need to spread it around.”

“Why not just everywhere?” I might just be one of the luckiest guys ever.

“Oh trust me, it get's everywhere and there's always plenty.” and with that two different legs wrapped around me and we took to the sky's. I'm it was going to be one hell of a walk but worth it. Hey, good or evil everyone needs love. Some at the same time.