• Member Since 18th Jun, 2012

Useless Machine


Some shit who occasionally writes things.

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Found 453 stories in 77ms

Total Words: 8,696,316
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(This fic contains spoilers of varying levels for Saints Row IV.)
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With a full crew of Saints aboard the... Ship and the Simulation all but theirs, Kinzie Kensington and Matt Miller have had surprisingly little to do with their time. Still, with the Boss still putting the Simulation through the wringer, Kinzie has had the pleasure of poking through the Zin's systems at her leisure and looking at what she wanted to look at.

And after a particular urge to check out the Zin's prisoners, she finds a host of different alien species... Including a... unicorn. A unicorn with especially high cyber security. Anything that Zinyak wants to keep safe must be good for Saints. Wary of the ridicuousness of the prospect, the President of the United States mounts a rescue.
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(Featured 12/29/2014! And 01/09/2015! And 02/13/2015! And 02/27/2015! And 08/29/2015! Holy fuck!)

Chapters (17)
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When Princess Celestia and Gandhi have tea, Celestia learns that some of the most important aspects of building a civilization is hard work, dedication, diplomatic relations, and best of all, the threat of mutual assured destruction.

Celestia won't be having tea with Gandhi anytime soon after this.

Chapters (2)
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A group of men huddle in a forest. Their equipment and weapons have seen better days. The rain is falling and everyone is miserable. And then, someone turns on the radio...




Editing by Dafaddah

Chapters (1)
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A portal on Earth is recently discovered leading to another dimension entirely. A strange land inhabited by even stranger creatures. And for the humans, that's... really lame, actually.

Chapters (4)
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January 15th, 2014. A veil of light spans across the United States of America. As the citizens stare in amazement at what is certainly a once in a lifetime phenomenon, the entire country is ripped physically out of its place on Earth and sent to a new world, a world known as Equus. Now with 312 million Humans and their country trapped in completely unknown territory with no way home, they must do what Humanity has done for centuries that has allowed it to become a force of nature. Adapt, Survive, and Overcome.

Editor/Adviser: Sneaky Breeze.
Editors: Washingtonian & AlphaFartOfDoom
Technical Adviser: ArtichokeLust
A big thanks to them for all the input and help they have given.

Chapters (2)
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There is no more love.

There is no more queen.

There are only the silent echoes of a dying hive, as a lonely changeling, cut off from the hivemind, ponders the fate that has befallen his brethren.

Chapters (1)
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Anon delivers a somewhat late, very unexpected birthday present to Rainbow Dash.

[ An audio version of this story has been made available courtesy of Landon. Awesome! ]

Chapters (1)
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As a general rule, leaving your future bride at the altar and abandoning your entire family to flee the city of Canterlot is a bad idea.

Then again, you never know just who you'll meet on the train to your new life.

Chapters (1)
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She's been assured by her sister a thousand times that they are equals, so where the hay is her throne?

Chapters (2)