• Member Since 18th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 23rd, 2022

Useless Machine


Some shit who occasionally writes things.

Oct
7th
2015

I Have Been Lazy · 11:08pm Oct 7th, 2015

Gonna admit that straight-up. I haven't been working as much as I should. Not entirely because I lack motivation, though.

Read More

Report Useless Machine · 466 views ·
Jul
19th
2015

An Update · 2:03am Jul 19th, 2015

Just throwing this up here. I've went home for summer vacation for a while, and between going out with friends (you know, the entire point of the show this website is based off of) and studying for my driver's license (which I really need to actually do more), I haven't been able to write much dumb shit.

But I haven't abandoned you all. Not yet.

Report Useless Machine · 367 views ·
Apr
18th
2014

Entering Low Power Mode · 3:19am Apr 18th, 2014

Long story short, real life sort of got in the way, so I'm putting the stories here on hiatus while I write an actual story.
One I can sell.
For money.
Sorry guys.

Report Useless Machine · 450 views ·
Feb
25th
2014

This Will End Well · 12:12am Feb 25th, 2014

Greetings, travellers!

I haven't been doing a lot of writing lately - I'm a lazyass and XCOM: Enemy Unknown (FUCK YOU ETHEREALS) isn't helping. But! I've decided that to keep my inspiration for stories fresh, I'll start working on three at once! How can this end badly at all?

Many ways. But here is what I will be attempting to work on;

Gate Hunters Wanted! What happens when you toss six psychopaths and six tiny, colorful horses together! Fun! And bullets!

Read More

Report Useless Machine · 440 views ·
Jan
2nd
2014

Betta Fish Readers Wanted · 8:57pm Jan 2nd, 2014

And like a miracle in the snow, it's Sparty, finally waking his ass up again to write things for stories!

But some of the betareaders I used to have... not exactly looking good. They've been busy with life and I've been busy with not writing and giving them a reason to come on.

So. Who wants to help betaread Gate Hunters Wanted? Who already has and wants to keep their jobs! Step up!

Please.

Report Useless Machine · 495 views ·
Aug
17th
2013

Betareaders Only · 7:30pm Aug 17th, 2013

Okay.
I'm thinking of putting a one week time limit on betareading chapters.
I know it's not exactly fair to you guys, considering you're finding errors I never would have thought of, but as it stands, I've sat on the first actual chapter for two weeks, and I'd really like to get it out soon.

Read More

Report Useless Machine · 400 views ·
Jul
25th
2013

Large Chapter, or Larger Chapter? · 2:48am Jul 25th, 2013

So I have finished writing the "human" part of the second chapter. I plan for there to be a part focusing on ponies.
There's... just a bit of a problem.
Without the whorse slice-of-life, the chapter weighs in at about 7.5k words.
So, I'm gonna ask you, the readers. Do you want me to split the chapter in two and submit what I've made so far (which is ready to be released), or do you want the chapter to stay as is?

Report Useless Machine · 488 views ·
Jul
2nd
2013

Error Code 1985: Cover Art Not Found · 1:51am Jul 2nd, 2013

Good news; Gate Hunters Wanted, the Borderlands 2 story I have been working on, has its plot complete and is ready to be written!
Bad news; no cover art.
I can ship without cover art if required, but it would be nice to have some, so if someone could find/make some for me, I'd be much obliged.

Report Useless Machine · 366 views ·
May
20th
2013

Sparty Recommends; No Gods, Only Guns · 8:14pm May 20th, 2013

Do you have a lot of time on your hands?
Tired of waiting for the Borderlands fic to come out, or for me to make a DashxHuman thing because come on already (I'm looking at you, Edragon), or to make the sequel to HARMONIZER - whenever Hell freezes over?
Are there not enough stories on here? Are you tired of rhetorical questions? Do you want me to get to the damn point already?

Read More

Report Useless Machine · 508 views ·
May
10th
2013

Ugh · 12:24am May 10th, 2013

I need some sort of way to be able to talk to my co-conspirators at the same time. Like, all of us.
It would be awesome for idea bouncing for the Borderlands 2 fic.
As for progress on the story; I'm up to the general outline of Chapter 7 so far, and that's somewhere around one-sixth of the way through the story.

Report Useless Machine · 379 views ·