• Member Since 18th Jun, 2012

Useless Machine


Some shit who occasionally writes things.

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Found 453 stories in 63ms

Total Words: 8,696,316
Estimated Reading: 3 weeks

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E
Source

After ascending to Princesshood, Twilight decides that it's time to really take the notion of "A Sound Mind in a Sound Body" to heart. She has the "Sound Mind" bit down (mostly), but years of sitting inside hunched over a book has given her quite a bit of ground to make up on the "Sound Body" front.

Fortunately, she has an athletic friend to help her out.

Chapters (1)
E
Source

This story is a sequel to Frequency


Vinyl Scratch thought it was a joke. Adhiambo Longstaff thought it was a miracle. Now, two years after fate and an old two-way radio brought them together, all of Equestria will stand with Vinyl to honor the only human they've ever known.


A fan-made addition to 'Frequency', by PaulAsaran, and published here with his permission and gracious support. Extra thanks to Paul for his editing and advice!

Chapters (1)
E

Parcel Post, the long-missing mailpony who delivered Discord's ticket to the Gala, staggers into work to explain where he's been. Spoilers for "Make New Friends But Keep Discord", but not serious ones.

Chapters (1)
E

Peristeronic: Of or pertaining to pigeons.

Little do we know, Pigeons have a secret military operating within every major city in Equestria. This is the story of one of the greatest and most important covert operations ever carried out by the pigeon military; to ruin Prince Blooblood's day.

An inane short story inspired by the xkcd comic "Adjectives"

Chapters (1)
E

It’s true. Sometimes a tear’ll slip out… it’s bound to happen, sometimes… but for the most part, I cry on the inside.

But right now, as I watch my friends weeping in a huddle together... I'm not crying.

Not even on the inside.

Based on the episode, Tanks for the Memories.



Reading done by Voiceguy.
Reading done by Scarlett Blade.
Reading done by DRWolf.

Chapters (1)
T

Diplomacy has failed. Six years have passed Equestria's crowning of the princess of friendship, ushering in a supposed unprecedented age of peace and harmony. The concept of warfare is, to most ponies, nothing more than an unfathomable legend. They have let their guard down.

An unknown enemy has seized the opportunity to attack Equestria with terrifying new weapons of war, bent on taking the fertile land and restoring an ancient order. The valiant efforts of the Royal Guard have given Princess Twilight and her arcane scientists time to research and develop a response to their attackers, and the time has come for that response to be implemented. Utilizing weapons and tactics borrowed from another world, five squads under the command of Princess Luna will infiltrate the forests of the Equestrian Northwest to destroy a revolutionary magical matrix that Twilight refers to as the "radio" - a tool that allows enemy ponies to communicate across vast distances instantly.

Nightmare Two is comprised of three foalhood friends who, rather than be separated from each other in the draft, volunteer to become one of the five Nightmare squads. With their bodies forever altered to suit the needs of their mission, the three young mares join legions of ponies armed with powerful weapons to partake in a horrifying new breed of warfare - Equestria's first in over one thousand years.

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Heads up, folks. If you wouldn't mind leaving a comment alongside the thumbs-down, I'd appreciate it. This is my first foray into fan fiction and although it's a hobby I nonetheless wish to get better. :)


Got some FAQ's for you guys as well!

- Alternate universe in which the events of "Crusaders of the Lost Mark" did not occur. (As much as I loved it! :D)

- Numerical age tends to vary with headcanon, but the CMC here were just getting started with their adult lives when the draft went into effect.

- The war is pony v. pony, utilizing firearms and the Equestrian equivalent of a tank. The underlying headcanon is that ponies used firearms similar to muskets and tracked armored vehicles akin to our tanks in times of old, and what the enemy currently employs is essentially the natural progression of these technologies.

- There are no real-world weapons or equipment i.e. "Panzer IV," or "M16 assault rifle." Particularly acute details such as the caliber of weapons are also absent.

- Technology is based on that of WWI with some WWII elements. Firearms are primarily bolt-action.

- The "radio" spell matrix functions as what we know to be a radio, but is not identical.

- All four of a Night Mare's legs are permanently replaced by the augments.

- Night Mares are female. Stallions proved unable to properly animate the limbs.

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Hold up, now - fanart? You guys rock. Like, for real. Thanks a lot!


1. A great YouTube video coming from The_Pegasus_Box. Thanks, bud!
Check it out!

2. Click here for the collection on DArt.

3. https://derpibooru.org/740375?scope=scpeac921b191f688d04521575f31608785cbc3bbaa1
[img]https://derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/10/10/740375__safe_anthro_apple+bloom_gun_artist-colon-pusspuss_night+mares.png[/img]

Chapters (11)
T
Source

Twilight discovers that a new tea shop has opened up in Ponyville with an owner a bit on the tyrannical and overlordy side. However, business seems to be booming, even if the proprietor is still totally evil... with his prices!


Big thanks to my editors Majin Syeekoh, Skeeter The Lurker, and Themaskedferret for all their wonderful help!

The awesome cover art can be found here.

Chapters (1)
T

Captured by your enemy. It's something that no soldier wants to think about, much less experience. Unfortunately for one U.S. soldier fighting in Equestria, that's exactly what happens. At the mercy of the ponies, he will have to resist their attempts to extract information from him, and hope that he'll see freedom again.
(Language warning for those who care.)

Many thanks to my prereader, Cosmic Cowboy, for letting me bounce ideas off him, and not letting me upload garbage.
Cover art by the awesome (and patient) Erindor.
Appeared in the feature box for a brief time on 10/11/2015. I have no words...

Chapters (18)
T
Source

There is a legend. A legend of six heroes destined to protect Equestria from danger. But these six are not the Elements of Harmony. They are more.

The Steadfast Commander.
The True Genius.
The Vigilant Eye.
The Merciless Wrath.
The Fighting Spirit.
The Lone Wolf.

They are the true Protectors of Equestria.
They are the Guardians.
They are Noble.


Alright, so here is the story I have teased on my blog, The Noble Guardians! If you already guessed the concept, good for you! But for the rest of you, this is a Halo: Reach Crossover. I have seen a couple fics in which Six or Jorge are brought to Equestria, but they were always alone, so I decided to bring them all together as one. This will follow the show's storyline, with Noble acting as additional characters to the episodes, but don't worry, I guarantee they will be major characters with their own arcs and there will be plenty of original situations. I will also most likely skip any episodes in which Noble would have little to no involvement. (This will be few and far between, one example being "Call of the Cutie" I mean, even the Mane Six are only minor characters in that episode. I'll probably either mention those in passing or have another story going on with those episodes occurring in the background.) Anyway, see how Noble reacts to becoming Equestria's destined protectors!
Cover image credit goes to Gekko3309.
Naturally, this story contains spoilers for Halo: Reach

Chapters (14)
T

Every family has a weird attic sibling.
It's time Princess Celestia came clean about hers.

Rated Teen for immaturity.

Chapters (2)