One morning, the sun doesn't rise. Twilight is convinced that every timekeeping device in Ponyville has malfunctioned, while Luna blames Discord.

This story is a sequel to Twilight Verbs Article Nouns

Having defeated the scourge of news stories about her banal personal life, Twilight must now face a far greater and more embarrassing threat:

News stories speculating about her nonexistent love life.

She's beginning to get a little annoyed.

Not a one shot anymore, because reasons.

There is a reason why Twilight used the phrase ‘works every time’ to describe the want it, need it spell. Her data says it has an approximately 99% success rate, but it used to be 100%.

Previous Episode: Twin Twilights
Current Episode: Season Zero — Episode Three
Next Episode: Episode Four: Twilight Frankenstein

It's Sisterhooves Social time again. This year, Dash catches wind of two new competitors and gets Spike to bet on the race. When her team is revealed to be a rather famous set of siblings, it looks like poor Spike will be her slave for a week! However, due to a team of masseurs, a minor invasion, unfortunate addictions, and dubious barrel components, victory might not be as near as she thinks...

Twilight looked over to her dear mentor, Princess Celestia, and found she had once again fallen asleep mid-lesson. Her intense debate on awakening the princess was cut short when the decision was taken out of her hooves.

“Huh? Oh. Twilight, I am so sorry for falling asleep again. I think we need to reschedule this for tomorrow morning.”

Twilight nodded. After all, Princess Celestia was obviously overworked. If only there was something she could do to help.

Now with a dramatic reading courtesy of DRWolf.
Additionally, there’s a Spanish translation by Spaniard Kiwi over on Deviant Art.

Current Episode: Season Zero – Episode One
Next Episode: Twin Twilights

Art created from images by Tim015 and ShilaDaLioness.

This, this is why I spend so much time in the archives, Twilight thought, holding a dusty old book close in her magic. Inside the book were a number of advanced spells, each one more interesting than the last in some sort of circular logic that Twilight could only assume went to infinity

Twilight galloped through the doors to her tower and leaped onto her favorite reading pillow on the balcony. She opened the book to the table of contents.

Oh my gosh! They’re all so interesting! Ooh, an age spell! That…might be a bit beyond me. But here right below it – a duplication spell!

Previous Episode: The Brief Reign of Princess Twily
Current Episode: Season Zero – Episode Two
Next Episode: Works Every Time

Twilight loved visiting Canterlot castle's royal library. The library received new books often, making every visit like a new adventure in her literary mind. She was almost jumping with joy when she saw the tall book cases containing the latest information written from many of the highly intellectual individuals in Equestria. In a matter of minutes, she had a cart full of books that sparked her never-ending interest. Turning the corner to the next shelf, she froze.

Standing in front of the shelf was a tall creature with piercing blue eyes, battle-aged gold armor, and a large, worn out halberd leaning against the shelf. It was reading a book intently. The creature sensed the frozen pony's presence, and turned its head. Its eyes locked on to Twilight's.

"Hello. How do you do?"

Cover art credit to Raptorbane's deviantART
Big thanks to my editor, Word Worthy.

Fluttershy’s got a teesy-weensy bit of a secret. Nothing too bad, mind you. She’s not a psychotic killer, and she definitely doesn’t do anything…dirty. Unfortunately, what she does still teeters on the rather…frowned-upon side of the law. And to make matters worse, with the Royal Guards clamping down, she needs somepony to help her out.

And that’s where Rainbow Dash comes in. Of course, soon she’ll realize doing a friend favor sometimes isn’t all that easy. Especially when that friend runs an illegal animal smuggling operation out of the country.

But hey, if she gets caught…she’ll still look pretty darn good doing it.

Mis-communication has started many a war, but in this case maybe calling it a war was too generous.

The "war" is over, Twilight has successfully orchestrated a bloodless end to the Griffons' aggression, but only now does she realize that there is more to winning than she had first assumed, especially against a nation that holds war as a central part of their culture...

Now Twilight must deal with the aftermath while facing a challenge she never anticipated: being seen as a conqueror.

This can be read alone, but I recommend reading the letter that started it all for a chuckle and a little exposition. This series of expositional one-shots can also give some additional world-building.

"Wait, so you're telling me that you 'accidentally' burned down Canterlot Castle and need to stay with me until it's fixed?"
"Let's just say that Cadance kicked us out before we even showed up."

Celestia "accidentally" burns down Canterlot Castle, forcing her and Luna to stay in Twilight's castle until it's rebuilt. Let's just say that Cadance said "No"

Best shitpost story ever

Featured 1/1/15.

Revived after like 6 years lol.