Griffons lined the streets by the thousands, packing every inch of the main thoroughfare and even back up into the alleyways. So dense was the crowd that Twilight was suspicious that they may not have all been residents of the Imperial city proper.
She supposed that their number may have been augmented by the outlying areas, or possibly even by other cities, but whatever their origin, now they only presented another concern for Twilight as she surveyed the parade route she was to take for her meeting with the Griffon Emperor.
It was quite suspicious that so many griffons would be gathered for such an occasion, at least it appeared so to her, but maybe she was wrong, maybe it was a 'normal' crowd, or maybe there was some cultural significance that drew them all to the streets, or maybe there was something unseen at work, and that idea scared her.
Anxiety built as she considered her chances of holding off so many of the avian-felines. If they were to all mob the procession at once, even the battalion of the royal elite guard may not be able to hold them off for long. She wasn't too worried about herself, she could just teleport if needed, rather she was worried about the just over the thousand other ponies, elite guard or not, that were about to parade with her through the overcrowded Griffin capitol's main thoroughfare.
Seventy one lines, seven abreast would march ahead of her, and seventy two lines, seven abreast, would follow. As her advisors had been quick to state, her position in the middle, rather than the front, would send a clear message to the gathered population: this was not a peaceful visit. She had no reason to believe that there was any doubt on that matter amongst the gathered, but this parade was crafted to carry the subtle clues to make clear that this was not a procession that followed behind the princess, but rather a show of force, clearly surrounding their princess as a sign of hostility.
The procession was to begin at their camp on the ridge outside the capital city, and would progress down the main street and up to the massive Griffonian royal estate, where the troops would diverge into a perimeter that would surround the complex while Twilight secured the Emperor's formal surrender.
"Princess," an armored Lieutenant called, breaking up her analysis as he landed next to her, "We're in formation to begin the march, we await your orders to begin."
She gave a moment's hesitation as her previous worries stopped her, but ultimately she decided and gave the soldier the order to commence the march.
As she made her way to her designated position halfway through the procession, she considered the fact that, as her fellow princesses had predicted, decisions like this were coming easier and easier to her now.
When she had first been asked to write a hypothetical response to what Celestia had called "The Griffon Emperor's Declaration of War", she had been mildly surprised, but no more so than to any of the other "princess tests" she'd been given as of late. With all the tact deserving of such an absurd notion, she scrawled out a response and promptly sent it off with her various other more important reports before getting some well deserved sleep.
The next day she was understandably surprised to find out that the hypothetical missive was not so hypothetical.
When she had written the response, she had for the most part written it straight from her sleep addled and generously caffeinated stream of consciousness, producing it as a thought exercise on how absurd a griffon attack on Equestria would be. Little did she know that Celestia would then take the unedited draft and ship it back to the Emperor as Equestria's official response.
As if that were not enough, she was then informed, that her "test" was not merely the letter, but rather dealing with the Griffon threat in its entirety, which as a minor footnote meant dealing with them if it came to war. Which it then promptly did.
The subsequent war more-or-less turned out exactly as she had predicted though. The orchestration of the transport of arctic winds southward had proven more difficult than anticipated, but with the flight path of the Breezies coinciding with the the push of tropical winds northward, the pegasi already helping with the Breezie Migration had been more than willing to help, freeing up enough soldiers to aid those in the north and keep schedule. A schedule that had the convergence of the fronts occurring at the time and location of the initial Griffon push into Equestria.
For Twilight, it had been just like a scaled-up winter wrap up in Ponyville, so she had managed it rather well if she did say so herself, and the subsequent hurricane grounded, and then ruined the supplies of the attacking army.
It was admittedly impressive that the invading troops carried on their march on by talon-and-paw but the result was as expected. As the starving, soaked feather-to-bone and freezing army finally came out of the mountains and into Equestria proper, they had surrendered and all but begged for food.
Three days later, ten days since the postmark of her unintended letter, here she was, in a military formation, about to officially accept the griffon full-surrender.
Her mental analysis of the past week and a half felt like a dream, or to be precise, it was one, for as she re-analyzed her current position, she realized she had been lost to the world as the march made its initial entrance into the city.
The first of her troops were beginning to make their way into the city proper, and with an imperceptible sigh of relief, she noted no objects being thrown or even hostile words being shouted. She even allowed a small flinch of a smile until it curved into a frown as she realized something else...
...No-griffon was speaking at all. She had not expected a welcome banner or cheering in the streets to be sure, in fact she had all but put the medical staff back at camp on standby to heal any bumps and bruises form anonymously thrown rocks and trash from the crowd, but this was something else entirely.
As the first lines of the armored ponies made their way into the streets, the crowd made no reaction at all. Not a sound could be heard over the armored hooves as they clacked in rhythm down the cobblestone street, and no motion came from the crowd a they stood, almost as if at attention.
Twilight's previous fears of an ambush from the suspiciously swelled numbers returned as she imagined the griffon generals orchestrating a plan to pack the streets with non-uniformed soldiers as a trap. This theory was dismissed as she drew closer and closer to the crowds, and another thought filled her mind.
"They're trembling..." she whispered to herself as she began to make out the faces of the decidedly female-and-child-predominant crowd.
She could see little cubs and their sister chicks huddling closer to their mothers as the stone-faced armored ponies walked past, their little eyes darting around as the thunder of the war-ponies hooves filled the air.
When it came closer to the time that Twilight herself would enter the streets, she could see the griffons tensing further.
When she finally crossed the threshold into the capitol the tension peaked as the crowds parallel to her fell into bows.
In the zone slightly before her she could see the fearful eyes of the assemblage on her, some meeting her gaze and dropping into bows early, prompting their young ones to do the same. As she drew forward, not one griffon remained standing, all cowering with closed eyes as she passed. She did not look back, but she could guess that they were remaining prostrate even after she had made her way significantly past.
Scanning the crowds, she continued only to find the gazes of females, quickly for those gazes to be broken as the recipients fell to the ground prostrate.
Seeing little before the gazes would be broken, she then began looking towards the young ones visible only at the forward edges of the crowd. A few of the wide-eyed youths seemed fascinated with her, keeping her gaze before their mothers pushed them down, but the slightly older ones seemed to tremble when they met her glance, falling into bows of their own accord.
This continued without deviation for the length of the journey to the palace. Upon arrival, the troops separated like a zipper, even groups of four-three/three-four separating left and right before filling into single lines that would span the perimeter of the estate.
The last of the crowd dropped as Twilight herself arrived at the immense front gate of the palace. It stood open to receive her, and she marched forward without breaking stride...
I think I've seen this scene before, but it was from a griffon PoV. Griffons all bowing to pony invaders after surrendering.
I like it!
YES! i always said the one-shot needed a sequel, and here it is!
Sequel! Do want!
Some typos though, fix if possible. E.g. "The Griffon Emperior's Deceleration of War" should be spelled "Emperor's Declaration", "For Twilight, had been just like a scaled-up winter wrap up" is missing an "it" after the comma, "tallon-and-paw" should be "talon and paw", and "four-there-four" should be "four-three/three-four" or similar.
5022907 Changes made! Thanks!
5022608
Yes, I know of the story you speak.
Also, welcome to life as a military occupier, Twilight. Do enjoy your stay.
Soooo.... what was Plan B again?
5022608 5023006 Do either of you by chance have a link to that story? I actually was inspired by that story for this chapter and I would like to give it a nod, but I can't find it even though I'm sure I favorited it.
5023029 ?
5023037
Well obviously Plan A didn't go over so well for the griffons.
Edit: I figured it out.
A is for Attack.
B is for Bow, for your life.
That sounds about right. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the great work. Deus tecum.
It's a new word: Emperor and Superior make Emperior!
*talon
Good story so far.
Impression: 2134/2563
5023249 Metacritic score of 8.3261802575/10!
Well you have certainly raised a lot of questions to just scamper off now. Far more unanswered issues now than after the original story.
5023506 Uh, what? Are you complaining that the prologue doesn't resolve the story? Because I usually keep the resolution of the story for the end...
5023577 No... See the quote from your author's note talking about how you're waiting to see the reception this gets before deciding how far to go with it? Given that I quoted that my comment was probably related to that... the thing I quoted.
5023596 Yes, but I don't understand what you meant to say. What questions were raised? What was that about "scampering off"?
5023628
I pulled an all-nighter last night and should have been in bed forty five minutes ago. I'm not going to write ten paragraphs outlining all the questions raised and their implications and consequences. It is a prologue, its job is to raise questions so the reader will want to see what happens next.
Your AN implied that if this didn't get a good enough reception you would just slap some quikie ending on it... leaving all the readers disappointed. Thereby 'scampering off' to write some other story and abandoning this one to a sub-standard ending.
5023676 Well I'm sorry if that's the impression I gave, I only meant that if this was well received I was going to brainstorm ways to push beyond what I already have outlined, otherwise I was just going to go with the story as it already is (which is short).
Well, looks good so far. Interested to see where this goes.
Damn. This is such a simple scene, Twilight and company walking into the city, but its executed so incredibly well that its just...wow. Seriously, wow.
As openings go this is pretty good, while the stories overall quality is going to depend on where you go with this idea, what you've got here is certainly both interesting enough and well executed that I'm going to keep my eye on this.
tldr: Keep going this has potential
Ok, I'm game.
Let's see where this train goes.
~Skeeter The Lurker
5023031
Here you go, boss.
5024390 Thx... wait... Oh lord... It was written by the guy that I just ranted in a blog post about using my idea... and here I am using it for inspiration for the squeal to the piece he used for his...
INSPIRATION LOOP!
And then Twilight gets a harem of sexy she griffs due to them wanting to placate their new overlord, Welcome to your new Kingdom Twilight now has nice sex with Gilda.
5024404
Wait, seriously?!
5024422
see for yourself
Aww yeah! There's more to this story!
5024426
BronyWriter wrote the Conquerers???
…
He did!
Holy cheese fries, I can’t wait to see the collab fic you two are working on!
Go Team Ponywar!
5024441 If I wasn't so bitter about him pretty flatly copying ALttGEotMoW for his "Warmongers" I'm sure that could be a possibility. (for reference I'm not bitter that he wrote a letter thing with the same concept, it's that he did so without changing it all that much... ...or crediting ALttGEotMoW for inspiration...)
5024447
Go Team Ponywar!
5024447
To be fair, BronyWriter claims that he never read ALttGEotMoW, and the similarities are just coincidences.
5024488 Like how they are both about a princess writing to the leader of foreign power regarding their intent for war, both detailing the reasons that would be bad in a "it would be silly for you to try" tone, both implying that the foreign power relies on Equestria's aid for food, both utilizing manipulation of the elements as a threat, both using harming ponies as provoking Discord into taking action as a threat, both referencing dragons taking action etc...
5024502 I'm going to back BronyWriter on this one, because while both stories do similar things, they are done in VERY different ways. As for the reasons that Equestria would stomp the would be invaders, neither of you can be credited for creating the setting itself, only using what it has to offer. As that resource is finite, obviously you're going to be referencing similar things. I've seen COUNTLESS debates on why Equestria would kick the shit out of X. And 'ALttGEotMoW' uses things that others have already pointed out in such debates. Should you be required to credit anyone who has been involved in a debate like that? No. You merely took the source material, 'My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic', and built something from it. And a very nice story it is. BronyWriter took the same source material, 'My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic', and built something from it. And it too is a very nice story. But while similar in concept, 'Princess X responds to a declaration of war from X', the story told and the WAY it is told are VERY different.
5024537 True enough, I guess I'm just kind of upset that I see so many similarities (be they real or imagined) between our stories. I read his wanting to see more reasons that Equestria would win, but I just saw mostly the same stuff with minor tweaks.
Now THIS is going to be great
Nobody can't say that the griffons weren't warned though, so they brought it on themselves.
Oh man, this is not going to sit well with Twilight. She's going to hate herself when she realizes an entire nation fears her. Poor thing is really going to struggle with this, she'll probably end up giving them their independence back.
Also, I re-read the last story, why wasn't Cadence mentioned? Surely if Twilight is immortal, she is too right? Or is it because The Crystal Empire is considered a different country? I only ask, cause Cadence was originally an Equestrian Princess.
5024627 Yeah, this was a major point of contention in the comments, but I think of the Crystal Empire as a seprate nation, to me it is a cleaner explination for a few things, though there are valid counter-arguments as well. Like I said, it all just becomes a flame war in the end.
Poor Twily... You made all them griffons fear the Princess of Friendship!
Better make friends!
This chapter, I like it!
**smashes phone to the floor**
ANOTHER!!!
Being bowed at with terror seems to be incredibly awkward. Especially considering that Equestria didn't kill a single griffon. Although I suppose that from a warrior culture's perspective, that would be a sign of chilling, absolute disregard. I'd have imagined there would be more insulted feelings in that case, though.
So, you've made me curious. Where are the male griffons? It sounded like everybirdy in the city showed up, but the crowd being almost solely composed of hens and chicks is a little odd. Is it due to some tradition, an attempt to make their people look as unintimidating as possible, or are the ganders occupied elsewhere?
5024651 maybe almost the entire male population ended up going to war?
My opinion on why they all bowed in fear is that she forced a race that has a massive thing about pride to surrender, all without killing any of them.
5024641 Oh it's cool, I get it. I was just making sure that was the reason.
5024666 I imagined it was that, but it seems that it would be taken as a titanic insult to their people, rather than as something to respond to with terror. As the ponies played a purely defensive war, the griffons not in the war didn't suffer any of the horrors encountered by an invaded nation and never experienced the loss of lives the families of an invading force would. A war that ended as soon as it began, without a single death or the razing of a single village? A war they surrendered before they met the ponies even once on the field in glorious battle? I can see the soldiers being afraid, but to the rest of the nation it must feel as though they made a token effort and then just gave up.
The previous story established that the griffon military consists of 1/6th of their entire population. Even if it is solely males who serve in their armies, unless they already had a high female:male ratio that alone shouldn't have made the crowd so dominated by hens.
5024695 maybe a trap?
A full on, proper hurricane is vastly more energetic than a nuke, its region of destruction extending over hundreds of miles instead of the few. Nukes might vapourise a crater, but hurricanes can blow away most of the older styles of buildings, thn the hail causing injuries, tornadoes carving trnches, lightning smashing and burning, and then theres the rain, drowning and washing away in hammer walls of mud and water.
The hens are trembling, because, to them, all their males, strong, vicious, protective, were not just stopped and taken out on a whim, by the click of a talon, but stopped, without massive an absolute loss of life. To Griffons, this implies that destructuve as that attack was, th ponies were not just holing back, they knew just ow much they were holding back, which is a power and level of control even higher than just slaughter.
Its just a good thing that they dont know about Twilights lifting and long distance carrying of that Ursa Minor while just a unicorn, and her greatly increased strenth sincee? Eles they would be xpecting her to maybe, grab hold of the palace, at least a substantial portion, pick it up, crush, and drop it, if they annoyed her.
Griffons are afraid of The Fist Of God.
My attention, you have it. Let's see where this is going....
I am really looking forward to seeing Twilight realize she is feared as a conqueror rather than accepted. Perhaps you could drive this home with a scene where the Griffin governmental leaders beg for their lives, thinking Twilight will execute them? And then I wonder what the other 3 alicorns have to say about this situation?
Going to be really interesting to see somebody so proud they thought they could take... well, Equestria, be forced to bow and grovel.
Especially if the idiot can't bring themselves to that, and Twilight is forced to perform some hard choices befitting of a ruler.
(And that is if Twilight is really ready for that... )
Really solid start at any rate!
Interesting. I don't I have ever seen a story that deals with the implications of Equestria winning a war.