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It's Sisterhooves Social time again. This year, Dash catches wind of two new competitors and gets Spike to bet on the race. When her team is revealed to be a rather famous set of siblings, it looks like poor Spike will be her slave for a week! However, due to a team of masseurs, a minor invasion, unfortunate addictions, and dubious barrel components, victory might not be as near as she thinks...
Sweet Apple Acres was so thick with estrogen that it seemed to hang in the atmosphere with a visible pinkish haze.
So substantial was the presence of such an environmental hormone imbalance that even a stallion as manly and endued with excess testosterone as Big Macintosh could scarcely breath without having the lingering urge to talk about his feelings and eat dark chocolate.
You... Oh lord 
alright, I'll return again once I finish...
Well my reaction to pretty much everything in this story.....
Also, is that a little spoiler with Joe and Allspice, pertaining to perhaps your next story??
And if not, then I demand it to be!!!!! 
After you and Raven finish Of Apples And Roses, of course!!
Oh my goodness gracious... This is the funniest thing I has read in a looooonnnngggg time
I nearly burst into laughter during my English class. That's how funny it was! But that would've been awkward if I did burst into laughter since it's silent reading, and I'm supposed to be reading Harry Potter, which isn't all that funny.... Oh well 
So basically, this made my day. It was beautifully written (per usual) and was funny without being stupid. You write with a subtle sense of humor, that's HILARIOUS when you pick up on it 
Well, I should probably get back to class... Though I really don't want to.... I wish I could read fanfiction for choice reading....
~Nerdy_Aslin
Ah, such a wonderful read! 
Between the diamond dogs being hit with everything but a kitchen sink, and the multiple times the word bunghole brought back Beavis and Butt-Head memories, I throughly enjoyed this! Oh, and the rest of the story was delightful as well.
The air that hovered around Sweet Apple Acres was so thick with estrogen that it seemed to hang in the atmosphere with a visible pinkish haze.Oh God, dat opening.
[...] Big Macintosh could scarcely breath without[...]breathe
listening as Twilight appeared and disappeared in the far distance in poofs of her magic, still wailing noticeablyWhat DO you smoke while you write that gives you such hilarious mental images? I want it.
This is the literary equivalent of a group portrait via Skype, where everyone is shouting out suggestions like "make the shark shoot lazers out of his eyes" and "the sun should be holding a knife!"
In conclusion: There. Are. No. Words. Should have... sent a... very... stoned poet...
Oh man, T.D. Your comedy fics are always fun to read, even if some of it goes a little further into brainbleach territory than I would like (Granny Smith's "happy ending," for example, repeated and gratuitous use of the word "bunghole"). I definitely laughed out loud several times - particularly at anything Celestia did without mentioning the bunghole, and all of Luna's antics.
It's interesting that this one points to being part of your canon, unlike the apparent side-stories of "Dear Idiot" and "Bailout."
I'm glad you write a variety of styles. :)
Once again TD, you've outdone yourself. By far one of the most hilarious fics I've ever read, and it has the best opening to a story ever! I can only hope one day my comedy can become as funny as your's, but until then I'lll just keep on reading and giggling under my breath like a little girl.
It's been a while since I've read a great comedy with a coherent plot. I did feel bad for Twilight as the child she shares a parental/guardian relationship with says that she mistreats him. The parts with the Diamond Dogs were hilarious. Allspice being told by Celestia to have children with a donut shoppe owner that she doesn't know in order to genetically engineer a race of super bakers. 
Also this one of the few fan fictions that made me learn some things.
Sardonic-- is an adjective and it means: Grimly mocking or cynical. Funny enough its synonym is sarcastic.
Bunghole!
In the grandstand, several older sisters found themselves having to explain to their younger siblings the type of things that happen when an ageless, supposedly immortal, and supposedly divine alicorn and a pie love each other very much.
“Biscuit really like her mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnne!”
“Mom?” she asked, bouncing off of one of the birds.
With a simple flexing of her strength the barrel-half flew into splinters. The crowd watched in shock as Celestia’s bunghole was devastated.
I can't even...
In Canterlot, Pony “Doughnut” Joe was just finishing his day.
Joe had a cameo? Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees.
Overall thoughts? Well, first, you did it. I mean, I remember the blog post and thinking it was an absolutely brilliant idea. And then here it is. And it's brilliant.
Second, this is easily the funniest thing I've ever read. The Diamond Dogs, the antics of the sisters... Comedy gold, sir. Comedy gold.
Cheers,
~Csquared08
I look forward to your thoughts when you do!
I can't wait to hear what you think!
I know, right?
Indeed it is!
I'm very glad that you liked it!
That too! Thanks for reading and commenting!
I can't claim that it's actually a lead-in, but GiantMako wrote a story with Joe's son... I thought it would be nice to give a hint where the colt came from!
I'm just waitin' on word from Dag as to when we're gonna finish Of Proses!
Thanks for the spelling catch, Matt. I shall fix it presently. In regards to your question, I smoke nothing... this is exactly what it looks like inside my head at all times!
I'm glad you liked it! I hope I didn't go too far into the "Trollestia" or "Trolluna" in this, did I?
I'm sure you will! I'm glad I could give ya' a giggling fit!
I actually have to disagree with that definition of "sardonic". Sardonicism deals with the situations, and sarcasm deals with individuals. Well, at least that's what I was taught? Anywho, I'm glad that you enjoyed it! I always look forward to hearing from you!
Thank you so much for doing so! I greatly appreciate you saying that. Thanks for reading!
Don't keep passing out like that! You might not wake up, and I can't afford to lose any readers!
He took it well! Thanks for reading and commenting!
Always love to hear your thoughts, CS! Thanks for reading this one as well!
I'll love to hear your thoughts when ya' finish it!
An appropriate macro! Thanks for reading and commenting!
You know that I look forward to your thoughts!
I look forward to seeing what you think of it!
You are very welcome, and I hope you are having a better day!
No you didn't, they didn't do this for their own personal enjoyment at the expense of others so they are not trolls as defined by the Protect Celestia charter, "A defense for Princess Celestia".
Yeah, I was curious what that one meant so I looked it on google and now, I'm looking at in my paperback dictionary.
Sarcastic, sardonic->These words have similar enough meanings.Sarcastic means cruelly ironic, taunting. Sardonic means scornful, but with a sense of humor rather than cruelty.<--> Sadonic owes its origin to the plant known in Latin as herba Sardonia, because it causes facial contortions when eaten.
Then when you reach Sadonic, it says adj. sneering, sarcastic.
It's a fun word, and hey even if people hated the story at least they can say they learned something. 
Edutainment.
Pay ya' five bucks to do it!
I do believe that I credited him. CuteSkitty's name is right under my name in the title. Perhaps you hadn't noticed? He gave me permission to use the piece months ago, and I certainly wouldn't use an artists work without their consent. I hope you enjoyed the work!
I'm very glad you liked it, Mask!
Even these decidedly macho thoughts were not enough to overcome the decidedly Amazonian ambiance that held sway around the farm.
You are misusing the term Amazonian.
here are two charachters that ARE amazonian:
here is another characther that, while less amazonian than the above, still has clear amazonian tendencies:
here are three characthers that are not amazonian in descending order from most amazonian to the least amazonian of all 
An Amazonian is a female charachter who while clearly female is physicaly intimidating and could clearly kick your ass Ass kicking ability alone is not enough ( all the major female charachters in this show have literally kicked ass at one point) there has to be an element of physical intimidation.
I rpopose the following ranking of the main female charachters in this show from the most amazonian descending towards the least amazonian.
Princess Luna> Princess Celestia> Rainbow Dash>Applejack>TwillightSparkle/Fluttershy>Rarity>PinkiePie
Whereas all the mares and fillies are there to compete in athletic competition, wouldn't that also work as Amazonian (as in, like the Amazons?). Anywho, thanks for discussing syntax with me. Thanks for reading and commenting!
It would be neat, wouldn't it?
Thanks for taking the time to read and leave me a note!
“I don’t think that means what you think it means. I think you mean ‘sarcastic’,” Dash said, mentally calculating all of the tasks she’d soon have him doing.
: disdainfully or skeptically humorous : derisively mocking <a sardonic comment>
No, I think he used it correctly.
He was trying to be humorous, and he was mocking her.
Poor Twilight.
“Heh,” laughed Rainbow Dash. “Hey, Salty, keep using language like that and Twilight will have me wash out your mouth with the same soap that you’ll be using to clean my bathroom!”
Since RD is kinda lazy, it might be really... umm.how would you describe that?
Gross, disgusting, sickening, and putrid come to mind.
yeah that!
Aw, c'mon Spike, being Rainbow Dash's slave wouldn't be so horrible, would it? She might have something kinky in mind! Well, obviously not, but the possibility is what prompted me to look beyond the synopsis. Ever since Spike's Super Amazing Rocket Sled of Awesome, I had hoped you would put your creative energies toward another freaking excellent comedy, and then I came across this one without even noticing who the author was at first!
No one can make me laugh quite the way you can. Not only is the situation [strike]pants-crappingly hysterical[/strike] rather entertaining, there are a few clever instances where you made the English language itself work for the humor, like Dash's inadvertent demonstration of irony. And look, there's even some meme-based humor … and it's almost entirely food-based … and now I'm wondering how a chicken-banana pie would taste.
When most writers make fun of the Spike-is-Twilight's-slave gag, they exaggerate it and build the humor from that situation. It comes as no surprise that you would put a more delightful - but no less entertaining - spin on it. I really expected Twilight to begin calming down just as Celestia started making fun of her, then run away bawling even harder for new reasons. I also expected her subplot would merge with the Diamond Dogs' by having her teleport there purely by coincidence. It probably would've gone something like this:
Twilight: “Waaahhhhhh!”Rex: “Now we assaulted by crying ponies! Why we suffer so much? Why?”
[Old Blue marches up to Twilight.]
Old Blue: “Why pony cry?”
Twilight: *sniffle* “M-My friend thinks I t-treat him like a slave b-because I work him too hard.”
[Old Blue nods wisely and thinks for a minute, then reaches a decision.]
Old Blue: “Then your friend work for you no more!”
Twilight: “What? I can't send him away, he's too important to me!”
Old Blue: “No send him away. He no longer work for you because we work for you!”
Rex [catching on]: “Yes! Our Lord Snoopy wishes it so. You treat us like slaves instead!”
Twilight: “Ummm … okay.”
And that's how Twilight and Spike ended up with a whole crew of workers who proceeded to make their lives easy as pie and effectively compensated for Spike's comparatively short week as Dash's slave.
This is going straight to my favorites. You can bet your bunghole I plan to read it again someday.
“Sardonicism,” he said, checking the far horizon to make sure that the wailing Twilight had not heard his cursing. He turned back to Dash to find her blushing brightly.“Wow,” she said, her own face a twist of surprise. “Aren’t you a little young to know about that?”
“What? Sardonicism? It means ‘in a sardonic way’. Right? Why? W-What do you think it means?”
“Nothing!”
I DON'T GET IT!
That's because you're stupid.
O.K. MR. Smartypants what does it mean?
I... I don't know.
It isa touch gross, isn't it?
I couldn't overdo the "slave" thing, as their relationship is the most important part of the series to me. I'm glad it came across as carefree, though, and I like your little scene there!
It is real! I promise!
I'm glad it was just the right mix, Lurk!
Unless they have a reason to lose... ...
Heh, I grew up reading Victorian and Elizabethan works, so it is reflected in my style. Not everyone likes it, but I'm glad you found it unique!
I'm very glad you enjoyed it!
Indeed! Imagine if the sisters had been serious about ending their raid?
Thanks for reading and commenting!
Thank you for reading and taking the time to leave me a note!
Sorry! And I'm already at work on the next one!
Plenty of room for multiple versions of the same idea in the fandom (do apologize to him for me, though)!
> “Goddesses! Could thou but imagine?” laughed Luna as she turned some of the grape juice into fine wine.
I see what you did there.
She'd better be careful, though, and seal up her bunghole before pouring all that wine into her barrel. That's really not a good place to have red liquid dribbling out.
Once again, I see a fic, get interested by the premise, read the full synopsis, hit Read Later, and then notice you wrote it. I guess I've got to start Watching you here. (And stop browsing during work hours. The collective creative output of this fandom has gone past the tipping point - it is no longer possible to read everything.)
Allspice and Joe, new OTP. I'm rather delighted to see a little additional development for him.
I was starting to get a little suspicious at about the hay bail from the sky that they were specifically messing with the Diamond Dog invasion, so makes sense that they were having fun and messing with Dash as well.
“Goddesses! Could thou but imagine?” laughed Luna as she turned some of the grape juice into fine wine. “What nonsense!”
Excellent as always TD! And congratulations on the featured box again!
I look forward to your thoughts when you are done reading!
I'm glad someone caught that!
Thanks for reading and commenting!
Indeed, they were on his side all along. The pie? Maybe! Thanks for reading and leaving me a note!
I put all of the stories with my favorite tags in a spot-check generator and make them battle it out for my amusement. The winner gets read.
You know that your opinion means a bunch to me, Dup. Thanks for taking the time, as always.
And I love hearing how much you love my stories! Thanks for taking the time to check in, and thanks for the compliment!
Indeed, they were dealing with multiple scenarios in the most fun way they could find. I'm glad you got the meaning of that line, too!
Thanks D.J., you know I appreciate it!
Ahahaha! This was such a fun story to read, I laughed right out loud at several of the jokes. Even subtle drops like 'Lord Snoopy' and Celestia not liking bananas were great. I also liked how you included the element of Twilight's maternal relationship with Spike and kept in line with the story, although Celestia mocking Twilight's fussiness did seem a bit mean-spirited to me. Oh and the blink-and-you'll-miss-it usage of Scootaloo in gags was really unexpected, but also funny.
Suffice to say, I really enjoyed this one. This genuinely was my face throughout most of this story:
Alright, you said you looked forward to my thoughts, here goes, be warned, there will be many.
The air that hovered around Sweet Apple Acres was so thick with estrogen that it seemed to hang in the atmosphere with a visible pinkish haze.That may be one of the best opening lines for a fic ever. Also, it kind of reminds me of my university, it has a 4:1 female:male ratio.
“Hey, Rainbow Dash!”“Hey, hey… Rainbow Dash!”
“Heeeyyyyy Rainbow Dash!”
“What. Is. It. Derpy?” replied Rainbow Dash without looking up to her counterpart.
“We’re at the Sisterhooves Social!”
That reminds me of this guy ....
Dash’s interest was piqued.
What does piqued interest look like in a pony? I demand to be shown, not told!
“Twilight’s using the mare’s room,” he said, gesturing over his shoulder. “We’re here to cheer everypony on and…”“Yeah, uh huh. Hey,” she interrupted, barely unable to hide her conniving any longer, “that’s great. Wanna bet on the race?”
Use an em dash instead of ellipses to indicate interruption. But really, that's just a stylistic choice at that point rather than dead set writing convention.
Don't let all these little nitpicks fool you, this is very funny. Also, very in character for Spike and Rainbow given the circumstances.
Good choice in putting a paragraph break when Celly and Lulu are introduced.
“Wow, Spike,” said Twilight, her face a picture of befuddlement, “you’re screwed.”
Is this why you rated this teen? The way this story is playing out, I could see it as an episode, somewhat, and that would mean this could be rated everyone.
Instead, all that met him was a whimpering Twilight. Her jaw trembled, her bottom lip quivered, and tears were forming at the edge of her eyes.
Aw, that's awful! You made Twilight cry!
“I don’t think that means what you think it means. I think you mean ‘sarcastic’,” Dash said, mentally calculating all of the tasks she’d soon have him doing.
Princess Bride reference, nice.
“Buck!” came an invective from the grandstands, the tone seeming to denote that it had arisen from a cyan pegasus mare who had just heard her plan begin to go awry.
Okay, that's why this is rated teen.
Loved the pink mane thing, and loved the sado-masochism/sardonicism word play.
Okay, NOW I know why this was rated teen. That Granny Smith scene was a little too much for an Everyone fic.
Getchyer hoof outta tha' bunghole!
Okay, scratch what I said earlier, this reads like a Douglas Adams book!
Okay, and that was just the first part. I'll be commenting on the next chapter soon!
A kaleidoscopic mish-mash of erudite prose and puerile humor. Good stuff. My hat is off to you, good sir. 
Though I must confess that this line...
“Goddesses! Could thou but imagine?” laughed Luna as she turned some of the grape juice into fine wine. “What nonsense!”
Has me quite dumbfounded, more so because it was brought up by numerous others as having some hidden message behind it than anything else. The only thing I can divine from it is that it refers to Dionysus, god of the wine press. Him, or maybe Siduri, goddess of fermentation.
So, uhh, a little enlightenment would be much appreciated. Unless, of course, it is self-referential to your own canon body of works. In that case, just link me. 
I've already completely lost it several times
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