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The Descendant

Joined November 2011
2,124 followers

People have asked if I accept "tips." Rather than that, please consider supporting my preferred charity, the Fletcher Street Urban Riding Club.

Stories (30)

  • A Cup of Joe
    Our Pony Joe runs his doughnut shop, chats with his regulars...and lives in the shadow of a memory.

    17,431 words · 6,004 views · 746 likes · 7 dislikes
  • The Song of Syhlex
    Last sung ages ago was the Song of Syhlex, of the dragon lord and the mare who rose to stop him...
    6,439 words · 11,887 views · 743 likes · 7 dislikes
  • Certain Advantages
    When Dash makes Spike bet on this year's Sisterhooves Social, she's sure she can't lose... right?
    12,055 words · 14,981 views · 1,688 likes · 22 dislikes
  • The Father of My Children
    Cup Cake knows what the pegasus mare is doing. She can see the mare swaying, hear the flirty tones in the perfect voice as the mare sings her siren song to Carrot...
    13,429 words · 6,566 views · 654 likes · 7 dislikes
  • The Living is Easy
    5,904 words · 2,341 views · 170 likes · 0 dislikes
  • A Sweet Taste of Cake
    108,789 words · 3,395 views · 304 likes · 2 dislikes
  • Our Gifts
    12,194 words · 4,784 views · 643 likes · 8 dislikes
  • Variables
    7,726 words · 4,922 views · 413 likes · 4 dislikes
  • Shine
    8,113 words · 11,290 views · 827 likes · 12 dislikes
  • The Railway Ponies: Highball
    24,441 words · 530 views · 148 likes · 0 dislikes

Blog Posts (110)


It's Sisterhooves Social time again. This year, Dash catches wind of two new competitors and gets Spike to bet on the race. When her team is revealed to be a rather famous set of siblings, it looks like poor Spike will be her slave for a week! However, due to a team of masseurs, a minor invasion, unfortunate addictions, and dubious barrel components, victory might not be as near as she thinks...

First Published
7th Dec 2012
Last Modified
7th Dec 2012

Comments ( 486 )

#1 · Chapter 2 · 85w, 2h ago · · ·

Tracking to read later.

#2 · Chapter 2 · 85w, 2h ago · · ·

Ah, comedy!

It was a while sinds I last read comedy, I'll be sure to check it out once I have time :rainbowkiss:

*klicks read later*

#3 · Chapter 2 · 85w, 2h ago · 2 · ·

Sweet Apple Acres was so thick with estrogen that it seemed to hang in the atmosphere with a visible pinkish haze.

So substantial was the presence of such an environmental hormone imbalance that even a stallion as manly and endued with excess testosterone as Big Macintosh could scarcely breath without having the lingering urge to talk about his feelings and eat dark chocolate.

You... Oh lord :rainbowlaugh: alright, I'll return again once I finish...

#4 · Chapter 1 · 85w, 2h ago · 5 · ·
#5 · Chapter 2 · 85w, 2h ago · · ·

Gonna put this on my "read later" list. So many things, so many things.

#6 · Chapter 1 · 85w, 2h ago · 5 · ·

:rainbowlaugh: Yet again, you continue to hit the mark of comedy excellence!

#7 · Chapter 2 · 85w, 1h ago · 1 · ·

Well my reaction to pretty much everything in this story.....

Also, is that a little spoiler with Joe and Allspice, pertaining to perhaps your next story??:trollestia::trollestia::trollestia:

And if not, then I demand it to be!!!!! :twilightangry2::flutterrage::twilightangry2:

After you and Raven finish Of Apples And Roses, of course!!:twilightsheepish::twilightsheepish::twilightsheepish:

#8 · Chapter 1 · 85w, 1h ago · · ·

I haven't laughed so hard in a while! :rainbowlaugh:

Expect a PM from me shortly. I noticed a few things that I had questions about. :twilightsmile:

#9 · Chapter 2 · 85w, 1h ago · · ·

Oh my goodness gracious... This is the funniest thing I has read in a looooonnnngggg time :rainbowlaugh:

I nearly burst into laughter during my English class. That's how funny it was! But that would've been awkward if I did burst into laughter since it's silent reading, and I'm supposed to be reading Harry Potter, which isn't all that funny.... Oh well :scootangel:

So basically, this made my day. It was beautifully written (per usual) and was funny without being stupid. You write with a subtle sense of humor, that's HILARIOUS when you pick up on it :pinkiehappy:

Well, I should probably get back to class... Though I really don't want to.... I wish I could read fanfiction for choice reading....

~Nerdy_Aslin:eeyup:

#10 · Chapter 1 · 85w, 1h ago · · ·

This is very silly.

:rainbowlaugh:

#11 · Chapter 2 · 85w, 1h ago · · ·

Ah, such a wonderful read! :twilightsmile: Between the diamond dogs being hit with everything but a kitchen sink, and the multiple times the word bunghole brought back Beavis and Butt-Head memories, I throughly enjoyed this!  Oh, and the rest of the story was delightful as well.

#12 · Chapter 2 · 85w, 1h ago · · ·

That's just amazing :pinkiehappy: I am thoroughly amused and entertained by the nonsensical application of semidivine wisdom from the diarchy.

#13 · Chapter 2 · 85w, 1h ago · 2 · ·

The air that hovered around Sweet Apple Acres was so thick with estrogen that it seemed to hang in the atmosphere with a visible pinkish haze.
Oh God, dat opening.

[...] Big Macintosh could scarcely breath without[...]
breathe

listening as Twilight appeared and disappeared in the far distance in poofs of her magic, still wailing noticeably
What DO you smoke while you write that gives you such hilarious mental images?  I want it.

This is the literary equivalent of a group portrait via Skype, where everyone is shouting out suggestions like "make the shark shoot lazers out of his eyes" and "the sun should be holding a knife!"

In conclusion: There.  Are.  No.  Words.  Should have... sent a... very... stoned poet...

#14 · Chapter 2 · 85w, 1h ago · · ·

*rest elbows on desk, stipples hands in front of face after adjusting the light just so so eyes can't be seen through glasses* All according to plan.

Good god this is hilarious.

#15 · Chapter 2 · 85w, 1h ago · · ·

The Awesome on these pages is so great, it deserves to be bottled and applied to Rainbow Dash daily by a specially picked team of Swedish bikini models.

#16 · Chapter 1 · 85w, 1h ago · · ·

:rainbowlaugh: Doing this the entire time!

#17 · Chapter 2 · 85w, 1h ago · · ·

Oh man, T.D. Your comedy fics are always fun to read, even if some of it goes a little further into brainbleach territory than I would like (Granny Smith's "happy ending," for example, repeated and gratuitous use of the word "bunghole").  I definitely laughed out loud several times - particularly at anything Celestia did without mentioning the bunghole, and all of Luna's antics.

It's interesting that this one points to being part of your canon, unlike the apparent side-stories of "Dear Idiot" and "Bailout."

I'm glad you write a variety of styles.  :)

#18 · Chapter 2 · 85w, 1h ago · · ·

I loved the part with my buddy :eeyup: I felt sorta bad for him though

#19 · Chapter 2 · 85w, 48m ago · · ·

I'm surprised that it took this long to see something like this, actually.

#20 · Chapter 1 · 85w, 24m ago · · ·

“And why should you this is not the year for you to do so?”

You accidentally a word :twilightoops:


And oh my word, this was absolutely, positively hilarious. If there weren't other people in this room, I'd be laughing uproariously. :rainbowlaugh:

This is how you write comedy, folks.

#21 · Chapter 2 · 85w, 19m ago · · ·

Once again TD, you've outdone yourself. By far one of the most hilarious fics I've ever read, and it has the best opening to a story ever! I can only hope one day my comedy can become as funny as your's, but until then I'lll just keep on reading and giggling under my breath like a little girl.:pinkiehappy:

#22 · Chapter 2 · 85w, 18m ago · · ·

It's been a while since I've read a great comedy with a coherent plot. I did feel bad for Twilight as the child she shares a parental/guardian relationship with says that she mistreats him. The parts with the Diamond Dogs were hilarious. Allspice being told by Celestia to have children with a donut shoppe owner that she doesn't know in order to genetically engineer a race of super bakers. :rainbowhuh: :rainbowlaugh: Also this one of the few fan fictions that made me learn some things.

Sardonic-- is an adjective and it means: Grimly mocking or cynical. Funny enough its synonym is sarcastic.  

Bunghole!

#23 · Chapter 2 · 85w, 16m ago · · ·

A gem of your choice from my hoard. This is a riot, from the bunghole jokes to Lord Snoopy.

Yours is some of the best comedy on this site. Keep it up.

#24 · Chapter 1 · 85w, 13m ago · · ·

*Is laughing uncontrollably*

Haha...b...HAHAHA!

Bunghol...

Bungholery!

*Continues laughing until the air is out, then passes out*

#25 · Chapter 1 · 85w, 9m ago · 2 · ·

The whole intro with Big Mac destroyed me. Poor guy, being one of the few stallions in a town full of mares.

Remember folks! Not always a good thing! :eeyup:

#26 · Chapter 2 · 85w, 2m ago · · ·

In the grandstand, several older sisters found themselves having to explain to their younger siblings the type of things that happen when an ageless, supposedly immortal, and supposedly divine alicorn and a pie love each other very much.

“Biscuit really like her mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnne!”

“Mom?” she asked, bouncing off of one of the birds.

With a simple flexing of her strength the barrel-half flew into splinters. The crowd watched in shock as Celestia’s bunghole was devastated.

I can't even... :rainbowlaugh:

In Canterlot, Pony “Doughnut” Joe was just finishing his day.

Joe had a cameo? Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees.


Overall thoughts? Well, first, you did it. I mean, I remember the blog post and thinking it was an absolutely brilliant idea. And then here it is. And it's brilliant.

Second, this is easily the funniest thing I've ever read. The Diamond Dogs, the antics of the sisters... Comedy gold, sir. Comedy gold. :rainbowlaugh:

Cheers,

~Csquared08

#27 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 6d ago · · ·

Awwwwww. Such a cute pic. It reeled me in, and I'm staying.

#29 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 6d ago · · ·

As always with your stories, *fav* and *thumbs up* prior to reading since I already know that I will love it.  I will post my response to the actual story once I finish reading it.  

#30 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 6d ago · · ·

Faving to read later. This looks like it could be quite hilarious.  :trollestia:

#31 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 6d ago · · ·

I dearly want to find out what happens at the Moon Pie Eating Championship. This was hilarious and a nice pick me up during a rough day. Thank you

#32 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 6d ago · · ·

Oh gosh, the whole part with the chiropractor ponies and Granny Smith had me laughing for a few minutes straight. XD

That was hilarious.

#33 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 6d ago · · ·

Aw shit. :pinkiesmile:

#34 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 6d ago · · ·

>>1756708

I look forward to your thoughts when you do!

>>1756713

I can't wait to hear what you think!

>>1756766

I know, right?:twilightsmile:

>>1756901

Indeed it is!

>>1756911

I'm very glad that you liked it!

>>1756918

That too! Thanks for reading and commenting!

>>1756848

I can't claim that it's actually a lead-in, but GiantMako wrote a story with Joe's son... I thought it would be nice to give a hint where the colt came from!:raritywink:

I'm just waitin' on word from Dag as to when we're gonna finish Of Proses!

>>1756925

Thanks for the spelling catch, Matt. I shall fix it presently. In regards to your question, I smoke nothing... this is exactly what it looks like inside my head at all times!

>>1756945

I'm glad you liked it! I hope I didn't go too far into the "Trollestia" or "Trolluna" in this, did I?

>>1757236

I'm sure you will! I'm glad I could give ya' a giggling fit!

>>1757239

I actually have to disagree with that definition of "sardonic". Sardonicism deals with the situations, and sarcasm deals with individuals. Well, at least that's what I was taught? Anywho, I'm glad that you enjoyed it! I always look forward to hearing from you!

>>1757252

Thank you so much for doing so! I greatly appreciate you saying that. Thanks for reading!

>>1757258

Don't keep passing out like that! You might not wake up, and I can't afford to lose any readers!:raritywink:

>>1757267

He took it well! Thanks for reading and commenting!

>>1757293

Always love to hear your thoughts, CS! Thanks for reading this one as well!

>>1757326

I'll love to hear your thoughts when ya' finish it!

>>1757346

An appropriate macro! Thanks for reading and commenting!

>>1757371

You know that I look forward to your thoughts!

>>1757441

I look forward to seeing what you think of it!

>>1757458

You are very welcome, and I hope you are having a better day!

#35 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 6d ago · · ·

>>1757480

Heh, I'm glad you enjoyed it!:twilightsmile:

#36 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 6d ago · · ·

>>1757491

Heh, it gets real up in here!:twilightsheepish:

#37 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 6d ago · · ·

>>1757540

No you didn't, they didn't do this for their own personal enjoyment at the expense of others so they are not trolls as defined by the Protect Celestia charter, "A defense for Princess Celestia".

#38 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 6d ago · · ·

This story was great. XD I laughed many a time while reading this.

#39 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 6d ago · · ·

>>1757540

Yeah, I was curious what that one meant so I looked it on google and now, I'm looking at in my paperback dictionary.

Sarcastic, sardonic

->These words have similar enough meanings.Sarcastic means cruelly ironic, taunting. Sardonic means scornful, but with a sense of humor rather than cruelty.<--> Sadonic owes its origin to the plant known in Latin as herba Sardonia, because it causes facial contortions when eaten.  

Then when you reach Sadonic, it says adj. sneering, sarcastic.

It's a fun word, and hey even if people hated the story at least they can say they learned something. :derpytongue2:

Edutainment.

#40 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 6d ago · · ·

I read this while at work, and I now have to resist the urge to walk around yelling bunghole.

#41 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 6d ago · · ·

A old friend of mine drew the image you used for this story. Could you please put the source up?: http://cuteskitty.deviantart.com/art/Sisterhooves-290132278

#42 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 6d ago · · ·

So bucking awesome, words cannot express.:rainbowkiss:

#43 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 6d ago · · ·

>>1757733

Pay ya' five bucks to do it!:raritywink:

>>1757765

I do believe that I credited him. CuteSkitty's name is right under my name in the title. Perhaps you hadn't noticed? He gave me permission to use the piece months ago, and I certainly wouldn't use an artists work without their consent. I hope you enjoyed the work!:twilightsmile:

>>1757826

I'm very glad you liked it, Mask!:pinkiesmile:

#44 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 6d ago · · ·

>>1757856

Gotcha! Sorry, I was only looking for it on the cover page.

#45 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 6d ago · · ·

Priceless.  Utterly priceless.

#46 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 6d ago · · 1 ·

Alt. Title: SPOLIER: Celestia And Luna Win

#47 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 6d ago · · ·

Even these decidedly macho thoughts were not enough to overcome the decidedly Amazonian ambiance that held sway around the farm.

You are  misusing the term Amazonian.

here are two charachters that ARE amazonian:

here is another characther that, while less amazonian than the above, still has clear amazonian tendencies:

here are three characthers that are not amazonian in descending order from most amazonian to the least amazonian of all :yay::raritywink::pinkiehappy:

An Amazonian is a female  charachter who while clearly female is physicaly intimidating and could clearly kick your ass Ass kicking ability alone is not enough ( all the major female charachters in this show have literally kicked ass at one point) there has to be an element of  physical intimidation.

I rpopose the following ranking of the main female charachters in this show from the most amazonian  descending towards the least amazonian.

Princess Luna> Princess Celestia> Rainbow Dash>Applejack>TwillightSparkle/Fluttershy>Rarity>PinkiePie

#48 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 6d ago · · ·

Ha that was funny, nice work!

Also, a sequel of Rainbowdash's week would be funny.

#49 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 6d ago · · ·

>>1757896

Whereas all the mares and fillies are there to compete in athletic competition, wouldn't that also work as Amazonian (as in, like the Amazons?). Anywho, thanks for discussing syntax with me. Thanks for reading and commenting!:twilightsmile:

>>1757941

It would be neat, wouldn't it?:raritywink:

Thanks for taking the time to read and leave me a note!:pinkiesmile:

#50 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 6d ago · · ·

>>1757960

Your welcome, good luck on your other works!

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