Dimentio drags a surprised closet-brony into Equestria. Along the way, he learns of the magic of friendshi-Nope! Instead Dimentio begins a new quest to destroy everything and create his own perfect dimensions that he may rule.
Dimentio-the insane dimension shifting jester- is older than many might believe...his most recent defeat was not his first and will not be the end. In fact, a revelation concerning a world that Dimentio faintly remembers leads to an investigation and an attempt to reclaim a land once taken from him. (Unfortunately, due to there being only five character tags I couldn't tag Discord)
Dimentio floated dismally through the empty space of the void. He had escaped the Underworld quickly after his death but was still not strong enough to do much after that simple dimension shift. He floated for a few more weeks before regaining enough strength to do it again, this time in search of a way to speed up his regeneration. Time was running thin, this time...he had to succeed,and there was no other way.
. The moment he arrived in the new dimension he knew this had been the correct choice as it had beings all around that didn't seem able to sense or stop him. He didn't waste time and quickly began searching for a suitable host.
These beings closely resembled the moustachio'd brothers and princess that had stopped him not too long ago, which brought him to another conclusion.
These beings hold so much inner chaos...Perhaps after I lget what I need, I can attempt to fulfill the dark prognosticus once more. He thought as his face contorted in deep contemplation.
He spotted a specific medium sized human male (around 6 feet tall) that seemed to be isolated from the others as he walked into his home. Dimentio floated through the door as it shut and waited for the right moment to strike. The black haired pale human seemed exhausted and unaware of his current surroundings as if this were some kind of routine.
The human in question
John was a struggling programmer that had fallen on hard times after finishing college. He had an unfortunate problem with being outsourced every so often which caused him to look for employment at least three times a year. Currently, he was working for a small business in Nashville Tennessee. While money was a bit of an issue from time to time, he wasn't really unhappy with his life. While It was far from perfect, it was his and he was proud of it.
His current job was to design programs for a pizza place. Programs that would allow customers to order pizza easily...or they would if John could work out all of the bugs from the prior employee's mistakes. He was currently living in a small one bedroom apartment. It wasn't a bad deal for what he paid, and the management was nice enough.
"Ugh what a day." John said as he sat on his bed and opened his laptop. He opened his usual tabs; Fimfiction, Youtube, and facebook.
Dimentio stared at the object the human was holding with a bit of curiosity. He had seen something like it before, but only with that chameleon nerd. This one seemed to be a bit more efficient and less pixelated. Dimentio quickly grew bored with this and decided that now was as good a time as any. He forced his way into the mind of the human and soon decided to make himself known.
"Hello there." Dimentio said with disturbing glee.
"What the? Where's that voice coming from." John said as a powerful headache quickly formed from the mental intrusion.
"Oh nowhere, just your mind. Don't worry, I come in peace." Dimentio said calmly.
"Wait, what!?" John began to panic, whatever this voice was gave him a sense of panic. It didn't help that every time he heard the voice it felt like a nail was being driven into his brain.
"Hmm? I think it was quite clear, I come in peace. In fact, I have a once in a lifetime deal." Dimentio said casually as if he were discussing the Sunday newspaper. Truthfully, he wanted to do this without harming the human.
"No no no, this can't be happening. Get out of my head! I don't want your deal, just get out!" John demanded as he ran to the bathroom to look at himself in the mirror and splash water on his face.
"I believe this is the wrong time to make demands, no?" Dimentio said with a yawn. His dimented side was enjoying the human's sudden panic.
John looked at himself in the mirror to see that his normally blue left eye was turning yellow whenever this thing spoke, it looked as if a translucent mask was appearing over his face. A very familiar looking mask.
"Who are you!?" John practically yelled as he tried hitting his head against the wall to dissuade the intruder
"Why, I'm just the humble magician....Dimentio." Dimentio said one of his many trademarked phrases. John's effort to force Dimentio out was a bit obnoxious.
John paused,he knew that name...it had been a while since he had played 'Super Paper Mario', but Dimentio wasn't a character that one forgot so easily. He faintly remembered the black and white mask of the jester.
"Hmm? I see you know me...that's curious. I think I'll have to go and check out your memories for anything useful. First though, I mentioned a deal. I require your cooperation in this." Dimentio said as he slowly began to lose patience with the pathetic human.
"Fine, what do you want?" John asked through the pain, he was almost crying from the intense pain of the splitting headache
"Ooh, so we can speak civilly...good. My deal is this, allow me to tag along and I can take you from this world and into any world you desire...perhaps this one?" Dimentio suggested as he forced John's hand to point at a picture on his computer screen.
"Anything, please just make the pain stop!" John pleaded as the force of his headache was becoming too much.
"Sounds like a yes to me!" Dimentio laughed as he drew upon John's innate magical reserves.
Just before teleporting, Dimentio caused John to lose consciousness, as it would allow him to have free reign of John's body for a while.
Later
A mentally exhausted John woke up hours later in what seemed to be the inside of a tree. John turned his head to the right to see a flabbergasted purple unicorn staring at him open mouthed. He noticed Dimentio was silent, but he could still feel the unwelcome presence in him.
He must still be knocked out John thought thankfully as he tried to think of what to say to the alicorn he recognized as Twilight Sparkle. He tried to be excited, but it quickly dawned on him that he had accidentally brought a genocidal jester into this peaceful world. As he brought his mind back to the task at hand, he suddenly realized Twilight's look of surprise was replaced with a look of anger.
"Hello?"John said as he tried to wrap his mind around the events leading up to this.
."That should buy me enough time to reacquaint myself with this dimension...It has been quite a while after all."
Dimentio snickered to himself as he realized the human didn't suspect a thing, John (he learned his name after being in his head for a while) actually believed that he had regained consciousness first. Since he had the time now, Dimentio decided to probe John's memories for things he could use. As he probed he began to smile. He had really struck gold when he had found this human...
"What are you doing back here? Had enough of terrorizing innocent ponies?" Twilight asked angrily as she took a defensive stance and fired up her horn.
"Woah now! I don't know what you're talking about! I've never terrorized any ponies in my life! Wait, ponies? Wha-" John said as he shot to his feet and prepared to try and convince the purple Unicorn that he wasn't a terrorist of any kind.
"I just saw you blast a hole in the Carousel Boutique, chase off dozens of ponies from Sugarcube Corner, and set a third of Sweet Apple Acres on fire!" Twilight declared as a hint of steam shot out of her nostrils. "You could have hurt my friends!"
"I swear it wasn't me. Hell, I just got here! I don't have any way of blasting a hole in anything!"
"You have your strange magic!" Twilight said as she continued to intimidate the (practically) cowering human. "After we happily took you in and tried to help you!"
"I just got here! And I don't have any magic!" John yelled back.
"Liar!" Twilight retorted.
"Why the hell would I be cowering in a corner from you if I had my own magic!?" John attempted to reason.
Twilight continued to glare at John, but she powered down her horn.
"You have fifteen seconds to explain yourself." She threatened.
A little while later
"So you're telling me that some evil guy forced himself into your head, teleported you to this universe, and apparently took your body for a joyride." Twilight said, now much calmer.
"I guess it sounds a bit insane...but yeah, basically." John replied.
"You're from another universe and yet...You....speak Equestrian?" Twilight asked almost breathlessly.
"Ummm...No? I speak English." John explained calmly.
"But you're speaking perfect Equestrian!" Twilight said as if John had just denied the existence of the floor he was standing on.
"It looks like we're both right." John said with a sigh.
"We can't both be right, I've never even heard of 'English'." Twilight said defiantly.
"We can and we are, I'm changing the subject. Hello, my name is John." He said already tired of the earlier debate. He already knew Twilight's name along with all of the others but he figured it would be odd for him to simply say so.
"But you can't just-Fine" Twilight huffed but quickly regained her composure. "My name is Twilight Sparkle and I'm sorry for that unpleasantness earlier." She said with a soft smile.
"Well met, my name is John. Did anything else happen when I first arrived?" John asked. He almost didn't want to know the answer to that, but he decided to keep that to himself for now.
"Not really, you just kind of appeared in my house last night. You introduced yourself as Dimmy, made friends with just about everybody, then went berserk after muttering something about someone waking up"Twilight said.
"I'm glad to see that you're awake. Don't I get a good morning?" Dimentio suddenly cut in causing John to visibly flinch.
"Hey, are you alright!?" Twilight asked worriedly.
"Yeah, just...just a little tired, yeah that's it. This is a lot to take in"
"Trying to downplay me for now? That's no fun...I believe I can fix that with a bit of....Magic!" As soon as Dimentio said this, John was flung directly into a shelf of books. The aforementioned books proceeded to fall on top of him in an almost comical way.
"Omigosh! Are you okay!?" Twilight yelled worriedly and began to try and help John to his feet.
"Yeah, I just-" John felt Dimentio exert his presence within his mind a bit to get the point across.
"It's rude to ignore people, John." Dimentio boomed within John's mind causing him to almost grasp his head in pain.
"Yeah yeah, I hear you Dimentio...asshole. " John was once again.
"Now Now, there's no need to throw around petty insults." Dimentio scolded
"Take me home!" John yelled back at Dimentio, causing Twilight to flinch and take a step back
"You wanted to come here, otherwise why would you seem so interested in a place?" Dimentio asked.
"John, are you alright?" Twilight asked worriedly.
"Not now, Twilight. Dimmy and I are discussing things. Whether I thought about it or not doesn't matter, I have things I've got to do back in my world!" John shot back.
"Awe, C'mon John! There's so much to do here! Your life was boring and pointless...now there are ponies and magic! There's no downside here for you.
"You mean aside from you terrorizing the ponies? That's fucked up man...What the hell did I do to you?" John asked
"I've only known you for a few hours and already you keep me from having any fun." Dimentio said sounding like a scolded child.
"By ‘fun’, you mean begin your genocidal rampage? I don't think anyone can simply allow that." John thought, thankful that Dimentio was obviously still exhausted from the trip to Equestria.
"You're no fun." Dimentio said. John could practically feel him cross his nonexistent arms.
"Are you okay?" Twilight asked with a worried tone that she seemed to have had for quite a bit today.
"Yeah, sorry about that." John shrugged, playing off the near catastrophe as nothing more than a simple faux pas.
"What was that all about?" Came a new voice.
"We have a guest, Spike!" Twilight yelled up the stairs.
"Alright, I'm coming down!" Spike yelled back and soon made his way down. Once he reached the bottom of the stairs, he stared open-mouthed at the tall being.
"Hi there." John said.
"Isn't this the same guy that went on a rampage through the town yestarday?" Spike asked retreating slightly.
"Yes and no Spike, this is John. The one that started blowing up the town was apparently named Dimentio." Twilight explained
"Can I say hello?" Dimentio asked nicely.
"No." Was the only response he could get from John.
"Oh...well hi, my name's Spike." Spike said confidently after he recovered from his moment of shock. He excitedly offered his claw to shake the human's.
"Nice to meet you, my name is John." replied John in a friendly manner and shook Spike's claw with his hand.
"Yeah, Twilight just said that." Spike said.
"I'll save you Twilight!" Came a completely new,yet vaguely familiar, voice.
Just after the odd shouting, John was greeted with a blue blur coming through the window and hitting him directly in the face. The blue was quickly replaced with complete blackness as John lost consciousness.
John seemed to be floating through a dark void, the place seemed oddly familiar. He wasn't alone in this void, directly in front of him was...uh-oh.
"Hmm? Do you like what I've done with the place?" Dimentio asked as his apparition floated closer.
"Where are we?" John asked cautiously.
"This is your-or rather our- mind. I plan on changing that to 'my' mind soon enough." Dimentio said with a yawn.
"That's not okay, Dimentio." John said preparing to dissuade the demented jester.
"Aaanyway, you may want to get back out there." Dimentio said as if he hadn't heard John's previous statement.
"Why?" John asked as he felt himself slowly waking.
"Well, I have so much to do! This place is simply a mess, I still need to dabble a bit in your memories and see what I can use. As you can probably tell, I'm very very busy. Now shoo! Get out! Scat!" Dimentio said with finality as he basically kicked John back into the waking world.
"Well sorry for thinking you needed help against this monster!" Was the first thing John heard, the voice was obviously Rainbow Dash. From what she was saying, it was apparent that she was the 'blue blur' that had knocked him out cold earlier.
"He's not a monster!" Twilight protested.
"You're trying to tell me that that thing isn't a monster after what happened yestarday? I mean c'mon it was obviously attacking you!" Rainbow Dash argued back.
"He wasn't!" Twilight yelled.
"Ow." Was all John could manage as he scratched his head.
"Hey! I got this!" Rainbow Dash yelled as she grabbed a book off of the floor and attempted to knock John out again.
"No no no no no no no no!" John said as he scrambled to his feet and began to run from the book wielding pegasus.
"Rainbow Dash!" Twilight screamed as she used her magic to stop Rainbow in mid-air.
"Twilight, you can't be seriously protecting this monster!"
"Calm down Rainbow, he isn't some mindless beast. He speaks perfect Equestrian!" Twilight said.
"I speak English." John whined.
"Equestrian."
"English."
"Equestrian!"
"English!"
"Pinkie Pie!" Yelled a third voice startling John and eliciting an eye roll from Twilight. The culprit was right in front of John, so close that he could feel the breath from her nostrils. A massive grin adorned her face.
"Hi there you must be new in Ponyville cause I know everyone and I mean everyone in Ponyville! I thought you were the guy that just attacked Sugarcube Corner but I can tell you aren't because you aren't blowing ponies up today!" Pinkie said this so quickly that John was struggling to keep up. Suddenly Pinkie's eyes grew even wider than before as she took in a sharp intake of air.
"Are you oka-" John was interrupted by a cupcake in his mouth and a pink blur dashing out of the tree.
"Well, looks like you're getting a party." Said Twilight while burying her face in her hoof.
"How do you know that?" John asked curiously while eating a bit of the cupcake.
"Well, Pinkie throws a party for everypony." Rainbow Dash answered.
"Uhuh, and as you can see I'm not a pony. And won't the town be a bit wary of me after what allegedly happened yestarday?" John argued. It wasn't as if he didn't want a party, he just didn't want Dimentio to be in a place with innocents all around.
"I'm sure Pinkie will explain it to everyone. Despite her demeanor, most of the ponies here take what she says very seriously."
"Worried about little old me?" Dimentio asked in a false sweet voice.
"No." John said aloud causing Rainbow to raise a brow towards him.
"He's just talking to Dimentio." Twilight explained.
"Dimeni-what now?" Rainbow asked.
"He's the monster you actually need to watch out for." John stated causing Rainbow to give a look of annoyance.
"I still have my eye on you, what makes you think I believe it when you call somepony else a monster?" The prismatic one pointed out.
"He's not a pony either, and he would probably kill us all if he had the chance." This statement elicited a gasp from everyone in the room.
"Would he really do that?" Twilight asked as if she should have seen it before.
"Yeah, well he tends to get a bit genocidal on the occasion so I may need some help keeping him in check." John shrugged, he was surprised how casual he felt about this now.
Meanwhile, back in John's mind
Dimentio was humming and messing with a few things, he was sure to keep John from being worried about him for now. Dimentio needed complete focus in his current work.
Back to the regular world
"Well in that case...we may want to introduce him to all of the other Element bearers." Twilight suggested while already walking towards the door.
"I'm going too, I've got to keep an eye on him." Rainbow Dash stated as she pointed a hoof at John.
"Please leave the book." John requested nicely.
"Fine, but if you do anything suspicious I'll find something else to knock you out with." Rainbow retorted with a bit less venom than before.
"He'll be fine Rainbow." Twilight sighed. "So long as Dimentio doesn't make another appearance."
"Did someone say 'Dimentio make another appearance?!" Dimentio proclaimed as he tried to once again force himself to the surface.
"No! John thought back forcefully pushing Dimentio back.
"Hey, you're having all of the fun! I think I have a new idea... Dimentio said and seemed to disappear from John's mind momentarily.
"Hey, what did you do!?" John asked as he felt slightly drained.
"Nothing." Dimentio replied innocently...as he appeared right in front of John.
"Oh fuck my life!" John said as he realized the gravity of the situation.
John looked to Twilight and Rainbow for help, all he got in return were confused stares.
"What's wrong with him?" Rainbow asked.
"Do you two not see him!?" John asked as his eyes began to grow wild as he gestured wildly at Dimentio. He had hoped that Rainbow would introduce Dimentio's face to that book from before.
"John, calm down. There's nobody there." Twilight said calmly.
It was now that John realized that Dimentio was laughing his ass off a few feet away. John's look of fear quickly turned into a look of annoyance.
"You truly are easy to mess with!" Dimentio said through fits of laughter.
"I don't care, just stop doing that." John grunted.
"I think I'll just continue doing this, thank you very much!" Dimentio sassed back.
"Should I go get the book?" Rainbow asked Twilight.
"No!" John and Twilight said at the same time.
"Fine." Rainbow huffed.
The group continued towards Sweet Apple Acres, once they reached the sign Twilight stopped Rainbow and John.
"Alright, so we don't know how Applejack is going to react when she sees you, we should probably be cautious and let me do the talking." Twilight said eliciting a nod from John.
Once they entered the gate John was greeted by an apple in the face. John immediately took cover. Then another hit him...and another. By the fifth one John was starting to get annoyed (and slightly concussed).
"Applejack! Stop!" Rainbow (surprisingly enough) stepped in.
"Why does everyone have to hit me a few times before at least letting me talk?" John complained from behind the tree he was using to hide.
"It's because you attacked half of Ponyville!" Rainbow yelled back, in response she heard some muffled grumbling.
"I already said it wasn't me!" John argued back as he glared at Dimentio "I'm starting to think you have something to do with this...The whole ponies attacking me when they first see me thing." John thought looking at Dimentio with suspicion.
"What? Me? I would never do such a thing. Though that blue one brings up a good point." Dimentio said, his creepy smile never left his mask-like face. This confirmed John's suspicions almost immediately.
"That brings me to another question, are you really outside of my mind or are you just playing tricks on me?"
"I wonder how this party that odd pink one is throwing shall go. You know, even I didn't see her appear in the room during your argument with that purple one." Dimentio began offhandedly.
"You really like using descriptions in place of others names don't you?"
"What? It's much better than some of the names I hear in this place. 'Twilight Sparkle', 'Rainbow Dash', 'Pinkie Pie' bleh." Dimentio said as if the niceness was revolting to him.
"I can't really disagree there. Well, back to my question. Are you actually out of my head?"
"Hmmm...I think I'll take a page from what I learned in your mind and say...'I plead the Fifth!'" Dimentio said in a comical tone.
"That only works in America." John deadpanned
"So? I still don't think you're in a position to boss me around." Dimentio stated 'as a matter of factly'
"It's a simple question."
"And this is a simple, yet unrelated answer: Ciao." Dimentio said with a slight wave and disappeared.
"Damnit, Dimentio!" John shouted. He looked around and noticed all of the ponies he had met so far (excluding Pinkie) staring at him as if he were mad.
"Are you-" Twilight began
"Of course I'm okay! I just have an evil dimension-bending clown messing with me is all!" John snapped angrily. Twilight and the others shrunk back from the usually laid-back human.
"Calm down partner, ah'm sorry about the apples. You just... " Applejack said in an attempt to calm him down.
John looked at the ponies to see that most of them were either scared or concerned or a mix of the two. A pang of regret shot through him as he realized what he had done. He was also incredibly confused; yes he did mean what he said, but he didn't know what had suddenly made him snap like that.
"I'm sorry...it's just-I can't even have any privacy anymore, Dimentio saw to that. Aside from that I'm in a world that everyone already believes me to be some sort of monster." John said with his head down
"Look...we don't know what you're going through but I promise that we're going to help." Twilight said with an attempted reassuring smile.
"Ah think Princess Celestia should know about this, maybe she can help." Applejack suggested. Twilight's pupil's shrank as she realized she hadn't written to Celestia after John proved himself to be friendly.
"I-I-just remembered that the last thing I sent her was about you attacking the town...I should get right on that!" Twilight exclaimed as she disappeared in a flash of purple light.
"Well, while she's doing that, we may as well keep going and meet Rarity and Fluttershy. You'll meet Pinkie at your party." Rainbow said with as she set off towards the Carousel Boutique.
"I'll go too, I've got to see Rarity about a few new woven apple baskets to send to Appleloosa."
"Well, I'm going because...uh....maybe Rarity needs help with something!" Spike said as he quickly followed after Applejack and Rainbow.
John just stood there for a moment, this was the longest he had gone without Dimentio butting in at all. He believed that this should probably be alarming...Oh well, Princess Celestia would probably be able to help with the whole problem.
"C'mon John!" Rainbow shouted when she looked back. John quickly caught up and kept pace with the others.
The group arrived at a large carousel-like building that John recognized as Rarity's place of business. As they entered Rainbow Dash held up a hoof towards John.
" Applejack, Spike, and I are going to talk to her first. We don't want her throwing needles at you or anything." Rainbow said as if the 'throwing needles' part was just a minor inconvenience. Without another word the group (excluding John) entered the boutique.
After kicking pebbles outside the door for a bit, John decided to look around for a moment. It seemed he had attracted quite a bit of attention, one of the ponies staring seemed incredibly excited. The mint-green pony was literally bouncing, she had another pony beside her that looked slightly annoyed at her antics but also fairly stunned by John's presence.
"Omigosh, oh Celestia yes! yes yes yes!" The mint green unicorn (John knew her name was Lyra) seemed to bounce with every word as if the situation was getting more and more exciting. In reality, John was still just standing there and hoping that he would be able to get inside the boutique soon. He brought his attention back to the green unicorn and noticed she had vanished.
"Hey!" Lyra said right up in John's face causing him to stumble backwards against the door.
"The fu-"John attempted to react to the sudden intrusion on his personal space.
"You're a human! I can't believe it, a real live human in Ponyville!" Lyra practically squealed into John's face.
"Uh, yeah." John said as he attempted to back up away from the excited pony only to find himself cornered against the door.
"Buckin' right 'yeah'! and you have hands!" Lyra let out another squeal.
"Most humans do. Uh, can I have mine back?" John said as Lyra seemed to latch to his left arm.
"Lyra, that's enough. Leave the poor guy alone." the pony that had been with her a moment ago (obviously Bon Bon) stepped in.
"But-but hands!"
"No, buts I'm sure he wouldn't mind speaking with you later. Would you?" Bon Bon asked nicely.
"Sure, I guess. My name's John by the way."
"Nice to meet you, my name is Bon Bon and this is Lyra."
"Nice to meet you too, I'm just going to go inside now. Bye!" John said as he slipped into the Carousel Boutique.
"Hi!" John heard as he turned around to see...nobody.
"Down here!" a voice said sounding slightly annoyed. John looked down to see a small unicorn filly.
"Oh, sorry...hi." John said uneasily as the scrupulous eyes of the young filly seemed to scan him.
"You must be the 'monster' Spike, Rainbow Dash and Applejack were telling Rarity about. My name's Sweetie Bell!" She said excitedly.
"My name is John. Where are spike, Rainbow, Applejack, and Rarity anyway?" John asked as he scratched the back of his neck.
"They're up in Rarity's room. I think Rarity wanted to make something for you before you came in." Sweetie replied innocently.
"Well the situation outside was starting to get a bit too...awkward for my tastes, I'm sure Rarity wouldn't mind if I waited downstairs would she?" John asked cautiously.
"I doubt it, she's caught up in one of her 'idea!'s." Sweetie Bell said mockingly imitating Rarity at the end.
"I heard that!" Came a voice that was unmistakably Rarity's.
"Sorry!" Sweetie Bell yelped back.
"Is he down there?" Rarity called down again.
"Yeah!" Sweetie called back up.
"Why didn't he just wait patiently outside?" Rarity called down sounding more curious than displeased. Sweetie Bell looked to John, expecting John to answer the question.
"Lyra was out there!" John called upstairs eliciting an almost incoherent 'oh' from upstairs. Within seconds Rainbow Dash and Applejack were downstairs.
"What happened!?" Rainbow asked anxiously as if she should have thought about the whole Lyra and humans thing.
"She freaked out and wouldn't let go of my hand, luckily Bon Bon was around to force her off of me." John said shuddering at the memory.
"I'm sooo sorry, I forgot about Lyra's obsession with humans. Honestly we all thought they didn't exist until about...what time did you show up?" Rainbow asked.
"I don't even know what time it is now." John shrugged.
"It's about six-thirty." Rainbow said glancing at a clock that John hadn't seen before.
"Anyway, why didn't you two come and tell me it was alright to come in?"
"Well...Rarity wanted to give you something. She looked out the window and noticed you were wearing clothes so, she decided to make you a few outfits."
"How's she going to do that without any measurements?" John asked cautiously.
"I'm not." Rarity said as she opened her door and walked down the small staircase. She was wearing glasses and carried a bit of measuring tape.
"I simply had to jot down the ideas I had when I first saw you." Rarity said as if she had to explain her actions. She pulled out a stool in order to reach every area of John's anatomy to measure him.
Rarity continued measuring John for a few more moments and eventually she let the tape retract into the container she was holding with her magic.
"All done." Rarity chirped. "I'll show you a few sketches tomorrow, for now I have to go prepare for Pinkie's party tonight." Rarity said as she shooed everyone (excluding Sweetie Bell of course) out of the building.
"So...Fluttershy next, right?"
Within the Everfree Forest a few hours later.
Dimentio wandered around the forest humming to himself. He had not completely abandoned John's mind, he left a shadow behind so he could moniter the human. In the meantime; he had managed to escape the area that John had occupied without alerting anyone.
Dimentio was not exactly alone, his new companion was a large manticore with a bit of a plant poking out of its mane. The plant was a floro sprout-like plant that Dimentio had found deep in the forest.
"Hmm, I think I shall simply call you Monti the manticorn," Dimentio said as a small joke to himself. He could see a bit of use from the ferocious beast that he had completely under his control.
Another few minute of floating around and killing a few creatures that seemed to get in his way, Dimentio and Monti came upon a wagon that seemed to be camped out in the forest, a firepit that was naught but embers at this point suggesting the owner had retired for the night. On the wagon a small flag with a wand crossing what seemed to be a slightly misshaped moon.
"Ooh, a fellow magician...this should be interesting." Dimentio said with a slight bit of excitement in his tone.
Chapter six: Plans, Parties, and Pasts (Rewrite pending)
John and co. made their way to Flutterhy's cottage on the edge of the Everfree Forest. The trip was uneventful for the most part until they reached the door. A small rabbit sat there staring at John. A moment later its curious stare became bored, then annoyed as it began thumping its foot and looking at all of the ponies ( and the human and dragon) gathered.
"We need to talk to Fluttershy." Rainbow dash spoke up after the brief staredown with the bunny. His response was to cross his arms for a bit and shake his head for a few moments before the door opened of its own accord.
"Hello?" Fluttershy said as she stuck her head out of the door, her eyes grew wide when she saw John. For a moment, it seemed as if she was unsure how to react to him.
"What kind of ape is that?" She asked timidly but with obvious interest.
"He's a human." Rainbow stated.
Within a moment, Fluttershy was in John's face observing him.She seemed fascinated by the fact that she was seeing a creature she had never heard of before. A few moments later her eyes lit up.
"He's adorable!" Fluttershy exclaimed practically strangling John in a hug.
"Huh?" John barely managed to get out.
"Fluttershy, he speaks Equestrian." Rainbow Dash said after she finished chuckling at John's plight.
"Oh...How old is he?" Fluttershy asked curiously as she loosened her grip on him.
"I...actually have no idea." Rainbow Dash admitted.
"I'm twenty two." John answered when he recovered.
"Oh my..." Fluttershy uttered from behind her mane as she released John completely. Her normally timid nature finally won out over her love for animals (especially since she just found out he wasn't really an animal).
"Twilight wanted us to introduce him to all of the other element bearers before his party. He needs someone to go to if his dementia returns." AppleJack explained.
"His name is Dimentio, I'm not demented." John said back.
"Sure ya aren't partner. It's just that none of us have actually seen 'Dimentio' before."
"Twilight saw him." John argued.
"She didn't mention it. Sorry John, it's not that we don't believe ya, it's just a bit far fetched." Applejack replied sympathetically.
"So basically you're saying it's not that you don't believe me, you just don't." John deadpanned.
"Anyway. Now that we've introduced you to everypony, we should get back to the library so you can get ready for your party." Rainbow Dash interrupted.
"Oh yeah, I had almost forgotten about that." John admitted.
"Well let's go!" Rainbow said as she began to push John in the direction of the library.
"Fine, fine you don't have to push me." John protested as he began to walk.
A short and awkwardly silent trip later and the group had already reached the library.
"Here we are." Rainbow announced.
"I can see that." John replied as he walked up to the door and opened it.
"Surprise!" Pinkie shouted in his face the moment the door was wide enough. Lights came on and several other ponies shouted as well.
"Holy shi-" John stumbled back and fell only to be caught by Applejack.
"Did we surprise you!? I hope we did because if you weren't surprised then the surprise party failed which would be a shame because there's cake and punch and plenty of ponies to talk to-" Pinkie practically exploded with words and excitement. Spike held her mouth shut for a few more moments until she seemed to be done.
"Uh, yeah it definitely surprised me." John said as he got back up.
"Good, because it's time to paaaartaaaaay!" Pinkie shouted again as she pulled everyone inside the library.
John couldn't complain about the party, he did manage to just hang around the ponies he knew (excluding Lyra) and discuss matters over (admittably delicious) cake. After a little while he found Twilight.
"Hey, Twilight. Has the princess responded to your letter yet?" John asked casually
"No, actually I'm a bit worried." Twilight admitted sounding a little concerned.
"I'm sure she's just busy." John reassured her.
"Probably, but this is a huge thing! That deranged jester could be incredibly dangerous!"
"Could be? He almost destroyed every dimension in existence once." John explained
"WHAT!? Why didn't you mention that earlier!?"
"Well, he wasn't too happy about me talking about him...wait a second. He hasn't said anything for hours now.I knew I wasn't going crazy!" John exclaimed.
"What do you think it means?" Twilight asked worriedly.
"Oh shit...I think he escaped my mind." John said as he shuddered.
Meanwhile...
Dimentio stood above the sleeping magician waiting for her to wake up. She was a light blue unicorn wearing a cape with a hat not far away. A few moments later Dimentio grew bored and kicked the sleeping mare's leg.
"Go away. Trixie does not do night shows." Trixie said groggily.
"Dimentio does!" Dimentio shouted with his usual creepy laughter.
"What the? Who are you? Get out of Trixie's home!" Trixie shouted.
"What? You don't allow fellow magicians into your house? How rude. As for who I am...I am the master of dimensions! The pleaser of crowds! I am Dimentio!" Dimentio said, his smile not even faltering. Trixie seemed to be getting creeped out by his stare.
Trixie shifted uneasily, looking for a way to escape her own home to get away from this being.
"I think you need my help, which is lucky because I could use a favor myself." Dimentio said calmly.
"The Great and Powerful Trixie does not need your help!" Trixie shouted.
"Oh really, is that why this wagon seems so run down? It looks like you haven't gotten a show in months!" Dimentio declared.
"Sh-shut up!" Trixie yelled back at him.
"Oh, but I can help! My magic is sure to get people to come in masses!" Dimentio announced.
"R-really? If you truly think you can attract a crowd, then Trixie shall accept your help." Trixie said as she gave in.
"Good, but first I'm going to..." Dimentio trailed off and snapped his fingers, a moment later he had entered Trixie's mind.
"What are you doing!?" Trixie panicked.
"We can't have the crowds to show up just to see me now can we?" Dimentio said deviously.
Chapter seven: Assistance and Ancient Artifacts.(Revised)
The pause between Twilight and John was interrupted by the sound of a carriage landing outside They heard some footsteps coming towards the door and soon they heard a light knock on the door.
"It's the princess!" Twilight proclaimed as she dashed to the door and opened it for her mentor.
"Where is the human?" Celestia asked in a pleasant tone that seemed to conceal a slight bit of venom.
"I'm over here princess." John said politely.
"Good, I must speak with you privately." Celestia said with a hint of urgency as she rushed John up the stairs.
"I'm guessing you received Twilight's letter." John said as he prepared to discuss plans as to how to stop Dimentio's twisted plans.
"Do you have any idea what you have brought into this world?" The princess asked as she lost her cool and glared daggers at the flinching human.
"Yeah, I do actually. Which is why we need to figure out what to do about him." John said as he attempted to calm the princess down.
"What do you know?" Celestia said in a slightly calmer tone.
"I know the gist of what Dimentio wants to do, as well as most of his capabilities." John replied.
"Perhaps I have misjudged you." Celestia said.
"Look, I brought him here by accident, but that doesn't mean it isn't my responsibility... Granted his plan would involve destroying this dimension either way." John said sulking slightly.
"What?" Celestia asked looking up towards John.
"I said it's my responsibility." John replied with a bit more determination.
"Such nobility, in a human... Your race has come a long way since I last scried the Earthrealm." Celestia said thoughtfully.
"That's debatable. Wait a second, you scried my dimension!" John said.
Yes, many centuries ago... It was a vile and corrupt time for your people. Although these days it is a little better"
"Most times are vile and corrupt times there. But things have improved, although some things could still use some work. "
"Surely you jest." Celestia said taken aback.
"Nope, and it isn't because that most humans are evil. In fact many of them are probably the kindest beings you have ever met" John said to stop her assumptions dead in her tracks.
"Then why, pray tell, do you say such things?" Celestia asked.
"The good people tend to be the quiet ones." John replied with a shrug. "Some of the good humans that let their voice be heard end up dead. But for the most part they end up just being ignored." John said this as if it were common knowledge. Celestia seemed shocked and appalled.
"How can your people survive like that?" Celestia queried.
"You can say we thrive in difficult situations. Although recently many of our politicians have been trying their best to listen. Regardless, Dimentio is a serious problem. As much as I'd like to say 'I'll handle this', I know I can't do it alone." John responded.
"I understand, you should know that I will do everything in my power to help you along your quest." Celestia responded.
"Thanks, but we're dealing with one of the cleverest villains in the multiverse, not to mention one of the least predictable."
"Hmm, one of the least predictable." Celestia responded tapping her chin with a hoof... She had an idea.
Meanwhile, wherever Dimentio was
"So, you said that you would help me draw in a crowd...how do you plan on doing that exactly?" Trixie asked aloud.
"A magician never reveals his secrets." Dimentio responded simply. "Even if I did tell you, that would ruin the surprise."
"Don't use that old line." Trixie retorted with a hint of anger
"And why not? It is relevant is it not?" Dimentio asked innocently.
"No, no it isn't. Trixie managed to book a show in Ponyville surprisingly enough, so she'll need to know if you plan on doing anything that she should be aware of." Trixie explained
"Nothing that you should be aware of." Dimentio retorted. "It just so happens that I have business there too."
The pair were silent for the next five or six minutes. While Trixie walked and dragged the wagon behind her, Dimentio explored her mind and looked for anything he could exploit.
"So, if you're a magician, why has Trixie never heard of you." Trixie asked suspiciously.
"Speaking in third-person loses its novelty when it's your usual way of talking." Dimentio responded.
"Answer Trixi-I mean MY question." Trixie said as she got slightly riled up at the jester.
"I told you when we first met, I am the master of dimensions." Dimentio answered.
"So, you're from another dimension? Why did you come to this one?"
"Ah, that is a story that one as unintelligent as yourself would have difficulty understanding." Dimentio replied.
"What was that?" Trixie asked angrily. "What makes you think you can just stay in Trix-I mean my mind and insult my intelligence!?"
"So many questions, you're almost making me miss the human." Dimentio said.
"Seeing as you aren't going to just leave my mind... Could you just stop messing around for a moment and let me think?" Trixie asked tiredly.
"Messing around? Oh, no. Magic is no laughing matter. I am always deadly serious. Besides, I can do all of the thinking." Dimentio replied.
"That's not going to happen... Look, we're almost here so could you please just get ready for the show? You better wow the crowd like you said you would." Trixie requested.
"My dear, I am always ready for a show. So, do you have any interesting stories to tell about this place?" Dimentio asked curiously.
"Well, last time I was here, I went crazy with power." Trixie said remembering all of the ponies she had hurt. She was sure it was all water under the bridge now, but she had her doubts.
"With power you say?" Dimentio asked curiously.
"Yes, I had gotten the Alicorn Amulet. It grants enormous power, but it fills one with the lust for more." Trixie said sadly. Dimentio payed no mind to the second part, he already had a lust for power.
"So, this 'Alicorn Amulet' is very powerful yes? Where is it?" Dimentio said from inside of Trixie's head. It didn't really matter if she answered truthfully or not, Dimentio was searching her memories to find any mention of the artifact.
"Last time I saw it, Zecora locked it up." Trixie said with a sigh.
"And where is this Zecora?" Dimentio asked
"She has a hut deep inside the Everfree forest. It won’t matter anyway, she won't give it up. It's gone forever." Trixie said slightly nervous about Dimentio's tone.
"Forever is such a strong word. But I may remedy that in time..."Dimentio said ominously.
By the time John began to realize what Celestia had in mind, A loud poof was heard just outside. He looked out the window to see...nothing.
"Boo." said a new voice just behind John causing him to jump. As he turned, his suspicions were confirmed.
"Discord." John said casually.
"Why hello there, it seems that I'm just in time!" Discord said ecstatically.
"What's that supposed to mean?" John asked curiously.
"Well the show is about to start, you've been up here talking to Celly for so long you almost missed it!" Discord said.
"You almost sound like Dimentio." John said with his face in his palm.
"C'mon, hurry back downstairs!" Discord yelled as he dragged the human back to where the party was. Somehow while they were gone, a small stage had been set up. John wondered how this was possible, a moment later he just chalked up as a Pinkie Pie thing.
"Ooh, you made it in time!" Pinkie said clapping her hooves together. "I was about to have to come get you and the princess, I thought you might enjoy a magic show since you appeared...like magic!" Pinkie finished without even being out of breath.
"Woo?" John said with questionable enthusiasm.
"Hoo!" Pinkie Pie finished excitedly.
"Quiet now, the show is about to begin." A voice came out of nowhere. The voice sounded familiar...despite the fact that John had only heard it twice.
Suddenly, there was a puff of smoke on the stage and once it cleared a light blue unicorn stood in its place.
"Presenting, The Great and Powerful Trixie!" Exclaimed the blue mare.
"Oh joy." John muttered to himself as he purposely distracted himself.
"And her new assistant! Dimentio!" Said a second voice as a mask flashed on Trixie's face.
"Wait what?" John asked, startled back into coherence.
"You heard right, The Great and Powerful Trixie has found an assistant!" Trixie boomed.
"No..." Was all John could muster as he realized Dimentio had truly escaped his mind.
"Aw, don't worry John. I haven't completely abandoned you." Dimentio said with a chuckle from within John's mind.
"Wait, what the hell?" John asked confusedly.
"What?" Twilight asked John as she shook herself free from the shock of Trixie's new 'friend'
"He's in my head as well." John muttered almost inaudibly.
"But how? There's no way he could be in several places at once!" Twilight explained.
"Ooh, but I can! I simply left a bit of myself within our mutual friend here and voila." Dimentio said as he laughed through Trixie.
"What do you want?" Twilight asked nervously.
"Oh, not much thank you for asking...well, actually there is one thing." Dimentio said casually.
"Yes?" Twilight proceeded cautiously.
"Just to destroy everything and rebuild a new, perfect dimension that I can rule...like I said, it's not much. I'm very easy to please." Dimentio said with a shrug.
"Wait, you want what?" Trixie's voice interrupted, temporarily breaking the mask over her face with a look of terror. She began to struggle to no avail to expel Dimentio from her mind.
"You heard me. Sorry everyone, good help can be very difficult to find." Dimentio said.
"You're the assistant Dimentio, you are supposed to be the 'help'. We were supposed to put on a show here. I won't let you hurt anypony." Trixie said angrily.
"I merely said I would assist you. The show on the other hand must go on...or begin in this case." Dimentio said as he teleported a helpless John up to the stage.
"You're insane!" Twilight yelled as her horn flared to life. She didn’t know how powerful Dimentio was, but she sure as Tartarus knew she wouldn’t allow Dimentio to destroy everything.
"Please, if I was 'insane' as you so bluntly put it, you would probably all be dead... Speaking of which, I'm off schedule." The mask on Trixie's face seemed to smirk. Trixie's horn glowed ominously as a bolt of magic formed above her, she was forced to aim at John. Simultaneously, a yellowish barrier formed around the crowd.
"As am I." Discord said as he appeared in front of Trixie. He caught the fiery bolt in an old fashioned pipe that seemed to appear in his hand. He began to smoke the pipe which inexplicably released bubbles instead of actual smoke.
"What the?" Dimentio's smile lapsed for an almost imperceptible amount of time to a look of pure shock at the sudden intrusion upon his personal space. He quickly recovered and matched Discord's grin.
"I think it's a bit early for this story to end, don't you?" Discord said as he snuffed Trixie's magic with his fingers.
"Why, not at all. This has dragged on much longer than it should have. Besides, the human is of no use to me. In fact, he has no use to any of you, therefore, I am doing everyone a favor... By ending his game!" Dimentio responded with an evil chuckle.
"But his mind is full of such juicy chaotic potential!" Discord protested jokingly.
"Hey, you two leave me out of this!" John yelled at the pair.
"But he's sooo annoying." Dimentio groaned.
"I'll have to agree with you there." Discord said and rolled his eyes.
"So, let me just kill him already... While I'm at it, why not just let me destroy everything like I originally planned." Dimentio suggested, slightly agitated.
"That's another reason I came here, you're too uppity about killing." Discord scolded.
"Is that so? Well... Perhaps you're right." Dimentio said with a frown.
He looked as if he truly had to think about his life. It seemed that this was the end of our story, Dimentio becoming a nice guy.
Who would have thou-"MAGIC!" Dimentio yelled as he laughed maniacally at the ponies who seemed to honestly think that he might reconsider his tenancy to destroy. Several bolts of murderous magic formed and began to fire in every direction. Trixie continued to struggle in order to save everypony.
"Not this time! Discord chuckled and snapped his claws causing Trixie/Dimentio (along with all of the impending projectiles) to disappear in a puff of smoke. The ponies at the party stood awestruck as they tried to piece together what had just happened. The magical barrier around all of the ponies slowly dissipated afterwards
"What the hay just happened?" Rainbow Dash said to break the ice.
"Heck if I know sugarcube... Seems we owe you an apology John." Applejack said solemnly.
"Don't worry about it. Discord, did you just... Get rid of them?" John asked curiously.
"What? I would never do anything so barbaric. Bad human, bad." Discord said appalled. He rolled up a newspaper and smacked John on the nose.
"Then what did you do?" John asked as he quickly grew tired of Discord's antics.
"I simply teleported them to the middle of the Everfree Forest... And scrambled Trixie's sense of direction a bit." Discord said with a chuckle.
Minutes later in the center of the Everfree...
"You should have warned me about that Discord fellow." Dimentio huffed.
"Yeah, because I definitely knew that the god of chaos would be showing up. Besides, I'm glad you weren't able to kill anypony." Trixie said.
"You really aren't any fun." Dimentio groaned.
"Sorry my definition of 'fun' doesn't involve killing things." Trixie shot back angrily.
"So am I." Dimentio said as if he pitied the unicorn
"ugh! Get out of my head you sick twisted freak!" Trixie stamped her hoof and tried to suppress the malicious jester.
"Insults? Really? I thought you were better than that. And quit trying to resist, I'm afraid you don't even have the brainpower of that human... That truly does make you pathetic." Dimentio mused.
"Well, let's get going. My plans have already been delayed twice." Trixie tried to convince herself to sit down and refuse to go anywhere, but something in her mind seemed to compel her to get back to Ponyville.
"Make that three times." Trixie said as she looked at her unfamiliar surroundings.
"What?" Dimentio said with a hint of confusion.
"I have no idea where we are." Trixie said solemnly as she looked around her surroundings.
"Oh well, that just means we have time to get to know each other!" Dimentio said ecstatically.
"Great." Trixie rolled her eyes and huffed soon she began to reluctantly trudge in a random direction hoping to find a way out of the forest.
Proofread by-Nightingalehound Revised by Setheroth
Trixie and Dimentio wandered the forest for hours. The trees staring menacingly back at them as they walked. Dimentio was quickly becoming annoyed with Trixie's inability to figure out where they were.
"You know, I may actually have an idea." Dimentio mused.
"And what would that be?" Trixie asked, she had been hoping that Dimentio would have gotten bored and moved on by now.
"One moment." Dimentio said as he forcibly took control of Trixie's form.
"Monti~!" Dimentio yelled in a singsong tone. Seconds later, the manticore emerged and stood attentively in front of Dimentio.
"How did you do that? No one has ever tamed a manticore before." Trixie said in disbelief.
"Hehe... I would expect you to understand that magic can overcome any obstacle. Sadly, you disappoint me at every turn." Dimentio said shaking their head.
"Monti, find the path to the closest hut in this forest... We have an amulet to take." Dimentio said with glee. Monti sniffed the air for a moment and then began to move towards the scent of potions.
"Wait, you don't mean." Trixie said cautiously.
"Oh, but I do... The Alicorn Amulet." Dimentio said gladly as he forced Trixie to follow Monti.
"N-No! I won't let you!" Trixie said as she tried to resist once again.
"You are one dense girl." Dimentio said casually. "when will you realize that you can't even slow me down?"
"Sh-shut up!" Trixie said through clenched teeth.
"Have it your way, just don't whine to me when your sanity finally gives out." Dimentio said with a sigh.
The group continued into the forest until they arrived at Zecora's hut.
"So this is the home of the keeper of this powerful artifact? How... quaint." Dimentio said with a shudder.
"Trixie happens to know that Zecora is one of the best potion makers in equestria." Trixie said.
"Mmmhmm, I'm sure she is." Dimentio jested.
"Surely this isn't Trixie I see, and can I help you possibly?" Zecora said as she exited her home.
"She speaks in rhymes? I could have some fun with this." Dimentio chuckled deviously.
"Zecora, whatever happens don't let him get the amulet!" Trixie forcibly yelled while Dimentio was distracted.
"What my associate means to say, is that I shall be acquiring that amulet... Today!" Dimentio said impatiently.
"Surely you jest, perhaps a mental examination is best." Zecora said as she skeptically looked at the suddenly masked Trixie.
"This turn of events is quite a shame, through what happens next remember that you're to blame." Dimentio said as he nodded Trixie's head towards Zecora and forced one of the Floro sprout-like plants into Zecora's head. The potion maker seemed to fight for a moment before her eyes glazed over. Seconds later, a small sprout popped out of her head.
"Alright, now find me that Alicorn Amulet." Dimentio commanded.
"What did you do to her!?" Trixie asked mortified.
"Simple, I have implanted a seed that has quickly blossomed within her mind! It's a beautiful process really." Dimentio chuckled.
"You monster!" Trixie yelled. A moment later, Zecora returned with a small locked chest. She unlocked it to reveal a small red jeweled amulet.
"It doesn't look all that powerful." Dimentio said, unimpressed. He used Trixie's magic to float the amulet around her neck.
"Please don't, just stop this madness!" Trixie yelled in protest. A second later a small click was heard and Trixie's look of horror was replaced by a smile.
"Feeling better?" Dimentio asked as he felt the power surge from the amulet.
"Never better... I think it's time to go back to Ponyville." Trixie said as she quickly lost her thoughts about right and wrong.
"Soon... For now, we must prepare." Dimentio said "We can't afford to be caught unawares twice in one week."
"Fine, but when we go; Twilight Sparkle and all of her friends shall pay!" Trixie said triumphantly as her eyes took on the red hue of the amulet.
"Oooh, I'm liking this new you." Dimentio said before he erupted in mad laughter, Trixie soon joined him.
Meanwhile,back in Ponyville
John woke up in the middle of the library, ponies were strewn around the room with cups still in their hooves.
"Must've been one heck of a party last night." He said as he rubbed his temples.
"Well, my parties are always great!" Pinkie exclaimed. "And you seemed to really like it!"
"I must have." John said as he let out a loud yawn.
"John, we need to speak." Princess Celestia said as she entered through the open door. John looked to his right to find that Pinkie Pie had passed out again.
"Alright, what do we need to talk about?" John responded tiredly.
"Discord sending Dimentio to the Everfree Forest may have been more detrimental than beneficial." Celestia said with a hint of frustration.
"What do you mean?" John asked cautiously.
"I noticed a spike in power coming from the forest, it contained traces of Trixie's power." Celestia said ominously.
"Are you saying..." John began, knowing where this was going.
"They have the Alicorn Amulet, an artifact of incredible power." Celestia said solemnly.
"What!?" Twilight said as she sprang awake. Her hair was frazzled and her eyes showing signs of insanity.
"Good, you're awake too. This is a serious matter. Where is Discord?" Celestia asked.
"Right behind you!" Discord announced jokingly.
"This is no joking matter, Discord." Celestia declared firmly.
"Unfortunately, you're right." Discord said with a suddenly serious face that he wasn't able to maintain for long.
"If I know Dimentio at all, I'd still say we have a few days before Dimentio tries anything." John said.
Chapter proofread by-Nightingalehound
Chapter ten: The Bringing Together of Enemies (Revised)
John stood in awkward silence as all of the present ponies; and the Draconequus, carefully considered their next move. All in all their plans fell short when compared to Dimentio's intellect.
"Look, if you want to know what he's most likely to do... Look at what he could do to succeed instead of what you can easily counter." John broke out and was met with skeptical stares.
"What do you mean by 'what he could do to succeed'? Do you honestly think that we are incapable of doing that?" Princess Celestia asked in a frustrated tone.
"No, of course not!" John said throwing his hands up in defence.
"It's just that Dimentio is far from the predictable type, he can find even the slightest flaw, the smallest crack in a wall, the slightest falter in one's willpower." John said growing increasingly grim. "But..."
"But what? You make him sound almost infallible, how can we possibly outsmart this guy?" Twilight interrupted.
"He's arrogant. He believes that everyone is so far below him... But even as he said, he implanted part of himself in me." John explained. Everyone's eyes widened as they remembered Dimentio's revelation at the party.
"Wait, is he eavesdropping right now!?" Twilight asked as her eyes became pinpricks. Everyone else in the room (barring Discord) had similar expressions.
"No, at least I don't think so. Whatever he's doing right now seems to be distracting him." John said. He began to wonder how his mind was working at this speed.
"In any case, we should probably deal with this." Discord said as he suddenly got uncomfortably close to John. A moment later he tapped the human's forehead.
"What the... hell are... you do-" John said as he suddenly began to feel sick.
The next few moments felt like a blur to John. The world seemed to sway to and fro as his vision became black and he felt the sweet embrace of the floor.
Meanwhile, in the depths of the Everfree
Dimentio fed on much of the excess power generated by the Alicorn Amulet. After another hour he pulled himself out of Trixie's mind and manifested himself physically. Trixie felt fairly drained after the ordeal but was quickly remedied as the Amulet continued to spout power
"At last, I am complete again!" Dimentio announced. He floated around and laughed. It almost seemed as if he was a perfectly happy being. Until he began blowing up squirrels that were unlucky enough to have gathered nearby.
"That's nice, does this mean we can go back to Ponyville and show those imbeciles who is truly the greatest?" Trixie asked with anticipation.
"No... But I have an idea. Conquering Ponyville would not be enough. Do you perhaps know of any enemies to the ponies that we could use against them?" Dimentio asked.
As the pair looked around, they noticed that they had arrived in a clearing. The area seemed so... Different from the rest of the forest, the sun shined through the branches of trees and cast many eerie shadows that Dimentio used to amuse himself. In every direction there were large bushes, it was almost as if this area was used for ambushing weary travelers. Dimentio also realized that Monti had disappeared again. Eyes seemed to peer from every bush Trixie began to seem nervous while Dimentio returned the stares.
"Did you say something about conquering Ponyville?" a new voice purred. Eyes popped up in every bush and tree surrounding Trixie and Dimentio.
"Why yes, yes I did." Dimentio said happily.
"And you're looking for enemies of the ponies, correct?" The voice said again as an insect like mare emerged from the shadows.
"Changelings..."Trixie muttered.
"Yes, are you by chance the enemies I am looking for?" Dimentio said, his smile seemed to creep the changeling out slightly.
"Of course, but we would require something in return." The Changeling queen said with an evil grin.
"I'm sure we can work something out." Dimentio said.
"How about... When we take over, you allow us to feed upon the population." The queen proposed.
"Why, of course. I could care less about these ponies." Dimentio said with a shrug.
"It's a deal then... I am Chrysalis, queen of the Changelings."
"That's nice, I am the charming magician... Dimentio." He said mysteriously.
"And I am the Great and Powerful Trixie!" Trixie announced.
"Tone it down Trixie." Dimentio with a surprisingly unamused tone as he looked sternly at his companion. His stern look was quickly replaced with a devious smile as even the new Trixie seemed to falter under his gaze. Chrysalis looked at the jester seriously.
"Do you honestly believe you can win?" She said as she attempted to look unimpressed by the obviously insane clown's power. His form was so devoid of anything that could be considered 'love' that she kept her distance.
"Why of course, I simply need to have all of my pieces first...I can't play chess with only a king and queen." Dimentio said with a smile.
"Alright, before I join your cause, my children require something to feed on. Have you ever heard of the 'Crystal Heart'?" Chrysalis asked curiously.
"Why no, feel free to enlighten' me." Dimentio said, his curiosity piqued at the mention of a heart like artifact.
"It is an item that can provide an incredible amount of love and other such positive feelings... We Changelings feed off of such emotions, this would allow my children to defeat any army the princesses can muster." Chrysalis said excitedly.
"Love?" Dimentio said as he spat at the ground. "Such things disgust me." he finished.
"Do not worry, we see it as a food source and nothing more." Chrysalis said.
Dimentio put one of his hands to his head as he felt a strange pulse. It felt as if a small part of him had just been extinguished.
"It looks like that human's game just ended..." Dimentio said as he hung his head and sighed pitifully. "I wanted to cause that."
John realized that he was once again in the 'void' of his mind. This time it seemed that he was alone...Or not. He spotted Dimentio's form nearby and drifted near only to realize that it wasn't truly him, not exactly anyway. In the place of Dimentio's mask was just a black void. The faceless Dimentio stared blankly and silently into space.
"I think I like him better this way. Don’t you?" Discord said as he appeared beside John.
"What's wrong with him? I thought you said you wouldn't really destroy Dimentio."
"I wouldn't and I didn't. This was just a copy of him, something he was using to keep you within his grasp...I simply removed his link to it.” Discord said.
“And that means?” John asked.
“It means that you have his powers...kind of.”
“Kind of?” John asked excitedly.
“Well, you don’t control them...he does.” Discord said gesturing at the braindead Dimentio clone.
“Wait what? He’s practically a zombie.” John said incredulously
“Aha, that’s the amazing thing.” Discord said as if there was some kind of twist to it.
“What?!” John asked losing his limited patience.
“Well...When I removed the link, I noticed that your instinct to survive had grown quite attached to him.” The chaotic god said as if it were simple.
“Meaning?” John asked Discord, turning to face him, his interest suddenly intrigued.
“The powers will activate only when they will save your life!” Discord said clapping, as John continued to stare at the clone of Dimento.
“So-” John began as Discord raised his hand quietly then snapping, interrupting John who went silent. As if by magic, John found himself miles above Ponyville floating. Clouds swirled around him as floated up in the air; Discord laughing maniacally as if enjoying watching him struggle. The chaotic god then snapped his fingers.
“Test time!” Discord yelled as he allowed John to plummet to the ground below.
“DISCORD!?!?!?” John yelled as if the draconequus would help him as he fell to what he assumed was his doom. The air whistled around him, as he screamed to the heavens. The ground getting closer and closer as Johns life flashed before his very eyes. His eyes were covered with trembling hands as John awaited his death.
Seconds before he hit the ground though; the world distorted below him as if it was just water. The ground rippling as Johns descent slowed. He was suddenly thrust back upwards as if gravity had been reversed. John was screaming again, this time with a mix of confusion and disbelief as the sky came closer and closer.
“Huh?” John said as he uncovered his eyes to see that he was not a new addition to the ground. He was just flying up towards the sky, he looked to the side to see Pinkie Pie skydiving beside him, she offered a salute and then disappeared...Wait what?
John continued to stare as the pink pony giggled and fell to the ground before deploying her parachute, which was pink and had her cutie mark on it.
John thought about how he could possibly get out of this situation and about the absurdity of what he was thrust into, when he suddenly slowed down as gravity began to take hold again, he began to panic internally again, starting the whole episode of terror again as he fell to the ground again. As he fell, he suddenly felt the light impact of dirt on his back as John hit the ground with a thump. It winded him slightly, but he was okay. He looked around to see that he had landed safely on the ground.
“What the hell?” John asked disoriented. The situation soon caught up with him, and he began to laugh hysterically as he fist pumped the air.
“That looked like fun...Want to do it again?” Discord asked as he suddenly materialized in front of John.
“No!” John yelled snapping away from his hysteria for a moment to deny Discord his request.. Without warning Discord snapped his fingers and the process repeated, save for Pinkie’s appearance. John felt slightly drained. after the episode repeated itself.
“I seem to have forgotten the catch.” Discord said as he examined the flailing human.
“Wh-what’s that?” John asked with a tired yet cautious tone.
“Using this power drains you...Ironically enough, it can also kill you.” Discord said as if the irony should have been funny.
“You’re...an asshole.” John said as he passed out from exhaustion, his breath leaving him as the whole world went black.
Back in the Everfree
Dimentio concluded his immediate business with the Changelings and set off towards the Crystal Kingdom. Trixie gave her input as to what the snowy place was like, and how they could infiltrate the stronghold that the Heart was kept in.
“Trixie, I don’t believe you understand how trivial this task is. You ponies are not very formidable opponents.” Dimentio said condescendingly as he crossed his arms and faced the blue unicorn.
“One of the leaders is an alicorn, alicorns are not to be toyed with, as they are the most powerful things in Equestria, next to the all powerful Trixie.” She said, with caution in her tone.
“Ah, but everyone is to be toyed with...you just have to know how.” Dimentio stated as he smiled and waved one of his hands in the air, like a performer who just took a bow.
“Fine, I’ll allow you to handle this.” Trixie said indignantly.
“Allow? My dear, I am afraid you don’t understand our arrangement.” Dimentio said with the wag of a finger.
“I understand our arrangement...sir.” Trixie said through gritted teeth, she glared at Diminto with annoyance.
“Sir?” Dimentio questioned.”I’d rather you just used my name.”
“Fine, okay Dimentio.” She sighed as she rolled her eyes.
“That’s better.” Dimentio said, ignoring the rolling eyes and the annoyance of her tone.
“Well, is there anything you need to know about the Crystal Kingdom?” Trixie asked.
“Well, there is one thing. The Alicorn with the sun on her flank raises the sun...what does this Alicorn in this place do?” Dimentio asked curiously, he put a hand on his chin as though he was deep in thought; he looked at Trixie as he awaited her answer.
“Her name is Princess Cadence...her power is over love.” Trixie stated with a hint of hesitation. Dimentio’s expression was suddenly changed into one of disgust and terror.
“Who would want such vile powers?” He asked as he feigned heaving.
“It’s really not so disgusting.” Trixie said annoyed.
“But it is!” Dimentio yelled. A moment later he shuddered and regained his composure.
“If it’s such a big deal, why don’t you just ‘deal with her’?” Trixie suggested as she stomped her hoof on the ground, like a filly having a tantrum.
“Ooh...now there’s an idea.” Dimentio said as his grin grew ominously, “Yes... a wonderful idea indeed.”
He laughed hysterically as Trixie nervously joined in.
John woke up and looked around groggily the events of what happened earlier still fresh in his mind.
“When I get my hands on that Draconequus...” He began as he rubbed his temples still stressed about what happened.
“You’ll what?” Discord asked, the chaotic god suddenly appeared right beside John; a pen and paper magically appeared in his hands.
John grunted in response not wanting to start a fight, just yet.
“Does someone need to fly again?” Discord suggested as he threateningly waved his clawed hand about in the air.
“No! Erm, I mean, no I don’t believe that is necessary.” John said as he stood up, a hint of caution on his voice.
“Good, because we have a problem.” Discord said seriously, as he crossed his arms and looked at John with bemusement.
“Yes?” John asked nervously as he inched toward Discord slowly, his head cocked to the side.
“We’ve lost track of Dimentio.”
“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” John facepalmed, as he sighed in frustration.
Meanwhile, in a much colder place
Dimentio looked upon the icy landscape surrounding the Crystal Empire.The barren snow fields of the north leaving nothing for the eye to look at; except maybe more snow. But inside the kingdom, was a different matter. Crystallized rocks, and houses dotted the landscape, the shiny inhabitants blissfully trotting about as they went about their daily lives. The place really lived up to it’s name, being a city of beauty.
“Mimi would love this place.” Dimentio thought as he observed the scenery, his eyes sparkling in false amazement and his jaw dropped.
Trixie was wrapped in a coat that held the same pattern as her trademarked cape and hat. She wondered how Dimentio planned to steal the crystal heart.
“So, I’m going to guess that the crystal heart is at the top of that spire there?” Dimentio said, pointing out the obvious.
“Probably, I think it would be in the throne room...along with the leaders. You didn’t really think it would be that easy did you?” Trixie asked teasingly a smile beaming across her face.
“You underestimate me again, Trixie.” Dimentio deadpanned as he floated towards the top of the spire.
“Hey, what about me!?” Trixie yelled up at Dimentio, quickly changing her tune.
“I’ll be back in a tick, find something to do while I’m away. Ciao!” Dimentio said with a wave as he picked up speed.
“But...and he’s gone.” Trixie said as she watched Dimentio fly to the top of the crystal spire. She huffed and looked around to find something to occupy her time...but to no avail.
Shining Armor sat upon the throne, bored as usual. Cadence on the other hand, was pacing back and forth. The Crystal Fair was coming up soon and she was determined to make it go off without a hitch.
“Why don’t we ask Twilight and her friends to help out?” Shining suggested as he looked at his wife with concern.
“No, it’s our responsibility...the crystal ponies are depending on us to set up the fair and we’re going to deliver.” Cadence said with determination.
“Well that’s great and all but...did that wall always have a barrier over it?” Shining asked as he noticed the strange hued wall seemed to glow.
“I don’t think-” Cadence began as the wall exploded into millions of crystal shards.
“And so I appear like a rainbow after an evening squall. One that rains skittles...for I Dimentio...am just that tasty.” Dimentio said as he entered the room through the smoke, he took a bow and smirked at his witty little one liner.
“You know, we do have a window.” Shining deadpanned as he stood up to meet the strange guest, but proceeded with caution in case he decided to do something.
“Windows are so...boring, unimaginative, and unoriginal.” Dimentio responded as he landed near the Crystal Heart, waving his hands in the air to emphasize his point.
“Stay away from that!” Princess Cadence said as she took a defensive stance between Dimentio and his target.
“You must be the princess of...love.” Dimentio said with an exaggerated gag. He closed the distance between himself and the princess within moments. It would be so easy for him to just kill her...
“Get away from her!” Shining yelled suddenly as he used a barrier to push Dimentio away from his wife. Once he had pushed the jester a suitable distance, he morphed the barrier into a bubble to contain him.
“Ooh, a bit of fire in this one.” Dimentio said as he tested the strength of Shining’s barrier. It was far from weak...but Dimentio didn’t need to overpower Shining Armor’s magic. He had his own tricks to use...dimensional tricks.
“I’m sorry ,who-or whatever you are, but I doubt you can get past that.” Shining said confidently.
“Don’t be so sure.” Dimentio said as he snapped his fingers. Small cracks appeared all over the barrier holding him in place.
“What the-what are you doing?” Shining asked incredulously as he redoubled his efforts to hold the barrier. The cracks slowed, but did not disappear. Sweat began to collect on the unicorn’s forehead as he began to tire.
“Just showing you who’s magic is better.” Dimentio said and snapped his fingers a second time. This time, the bubble shattered. Any energy Shining Armor had invested in the shield dissipated immediately, the force of the blast knocking him off his feet.
“Stop...Don’t hurt her...” Shining said as he blacked out from complete and utter exhaustion.
“That’s touching.”Dimentio said as he waltzed up to the passed out unicorn. He placed a foot on the stallion’s throat and applied pressure. Within moments, the unicorn would likely be dead.
“No!” Cadence yelled as she shook herself free from shock to save her husband. She managed to push Dimentio away with her magic sending him flying against a wall which shattered upon impact, and quickly made her way to her fallen stallion and attempted to heal him.
“Seriously, you two are adorable.” Dimentio said as he picked himself up and dusted himself off.
“Shut up!” Cadence practically screamed as she blasted Dimentio with her magic. She quickly returned her focus to Shining Armor, Cadence knew there was no way to battle the villain and defend her husband at the same time.
“Please just be Okay.” She whispered as she teleported Shining to Ponyville.
“I’ll be taking that heart now.” Dimentio said as he cracked his neck.
“Over.My.Dead.Body!” Cadence replied venomously.
“That can be arranged.” Dimentio returned as his signature grin adorned his face.
The battle for the crystal heart had started.
Edited by-ChanglingLumin
Chapter 13: Fighting Dirty (or, the Battle of the Crystal Heart)[plus some plot important edits]
Chapter 13: Fighting Dirty (or, the Battle of the Crystal Heart)
After his small conversation with Discord, John looked around. He noticed the wide open fields of apple trees, and a farm in the distance. It didn’t take him long to figure out that he was in Sweet Apple Acres.
“Well John, I’ve got a lot to do today. Enjoy yourself.” Discord said and disappeared in a cloud of chocolate dust. In the distance, John heard a voice getting closer.
“John!” The voice repeated over and over, the southern drawl becoming more and more obvious.
As Applejack approached, John finally turned to her.
“Yes?” John asked, running up to meet Applejack.
“It’s Twilight’s brother, he was just teleported into town. C’mon we’ve got to get to the hospital!” Applejack said urgently as she turned back the other way and ran. John quickly got to his feet and followed the mare, a look of both surprise and concern etched on his face.
The two raced through Ponyville, as the citizens went about their daily lives, only a few stopped to look as John and Applejack ran through the streets.
Once John and AJ arrived at the hospital, they were escorted to the room Shining Armor was being treated in. Once they opened the door, they saw all of the other elements attempting to comfort a distraught Twilight. Shining Armor was unconscious on a bed in the middle of the room with a few bandages covering him.
“Twilight, what happened?” John asked curiously. The damp, matted fur under her eyes worried him.
Twilight looked up at him but didn’t seem to be in the right state to answer.
“Take a look, her brother’s hurt and nopony can tell why.” Rainbow Dash said.
“Where’s the princess?” John asked looking around for Celestia.
“She left just before he appeared in town square.” Rarity replied.
“Well shit.” John said scratching the back of his neck. A moment later, Shining Armor stirred causing everyone in the room to rush over to him.
“Cadence...the Heart...someone help.” Shining managed to say groggily as he lifted a trembling hoof to his sister.
“Shining! What happened?!” Twilight asked worriedly as she rushed to his side. Shining Armor seemed to come to when he saw her.
“Something is attacking the Crystal Empire. It wants the Crystal Heart.” Shining said, he grunted in pain as Twilight put her hoof around his.
“Was it Sombra?” Applejack asked.
“No...much worse.” Shining Armor said as his consciousness began to fade.
“Did he have a black and white mask?” John asked as he started to put two and two together.
“Yeah...he was really...creepy.” Shining said as he passed out again.
“Shining!” Twilight yelled trying to wake her brother up again, she still held his hoof and tears burst forth from her eyes.
“He’s alright. He just needs a bit of rest.” John said as he checked the unconscious stallion’s breathing. Twilight seemed to calm down after hearing that, though she still cried.
“How do you know?” Rainbow Dash asked suspiciously.
“Can't you hear his breathing? I mean, your hearing should be better than mine.Regardless, it sounds like he's just exhausted. Maybe a little battered.” John said after he thought about it for a moment.
“So, what would Dimentio want with the Crystal Heart?” Twilight asked after drying her tears on a tissue that Rarity magicked into the room.
“I’m not completely sure, is there anything special about it?” John asked.
“Besides containing and harnessing the powers of light and love within ponies, not much.” Twilight offered.
“Maybe he thinks it can stop him.” John said without any certainty.
“Why would that stop him?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Well, last time he tried to destroy everything, he was stopped by the power of love.” John held back a gag at the corniness of that statement inside his mind, Discord laughed at his suffering.
“Oh, well I guess that makes sense.” Twilight said honestly.
“Well, how are we going to help Princess Cadence?” John asked, ignoring the god of chaos in his mind. John made a mental note to confront Discord about this in the future.
“Wait..how do you know her name?” Rainbow Dash asked suspiciously. John suddenly tensed up, he had made it so far without revealing the fact that he had watched them on television...or for that matter, the fact that they WERE from a television show. Even though plenty of fan fictions he had read showed the ponies being completely fine with that fact.
“Shining just said it.” Twilight deadpanned. John sighed, relieved that he hadn't needed to reveal that potentially sensitive information.
“I’m watching you.” Rainbow said as she made the accompanying gesture.(which was a bit odd with a hoof.)
“Either way, how are we going to help?” John repeated nervously.
“We’re going.” Twilight said with determination as she trudged out the door.
“Alrighty then.” John said as he followed her. The rest of the mane six followed suit.
meanwhile...
Dimentio looked at the pink alicorn in front of him.
“You know, I think I may be able to use you.” Dimentio suggested as he effortlessly dodged a few projectiles.
“Not happening.” Cadence said through clenched teeth as she sent a few more magic blasts his way.
“Suit yourself.” Dimentio said as seemed to disappear, the blasts hitting and shattering the wall that was behind him. Princess Cadence looked around the room cautiously with clenched teeth, there was no sign of the evil being.
“Let’s see if you can pierce this illusion!” Dimentio yelled excitedly. Suddenly, Cadence was surrounded by illusory clones of Dimentio, each armed with a bolt of magic. The princess closed her eyes and generated a barrier to block each attack.
After the series of impacts, Cadence retaliated with an attack of her own. Once the attack made contact with the clones, they all dispersed...leaving no signs of the evil magician.
“Don’t worry, it’ll all be over soon.” the voice seemed to come from everywhere...suddenly, a strange bolt of magic hit Cadence in the back, causing flinch from the impact. Dimentio materialized and descended towards his prey. He didn't see the sly smirk forming on the mare’s face as he fell for her own trap.
As Dimentio neared the alicorn, she suddenly teleported herself above her foe and blasted him with a powerful attack of her own. Dimentio fell in a smoking heap onto the ground. The floor cracking from impact.
“Don’t mess with my family!” She yelled in triumph as she landed. She hazarded a look at her back to see that it was scorched pretty badly.
"This is fun." Dimentio said as he picked himself up off of the ground and dusted himself off.
“Give up! If you just leave peacefully now, I will allow that to be the end of it!” Cadence said in her best attempt at the Royal Canterlot Voice.
“I believe it is the end regardless.” The voice said ominously.
“What do you mean?” The princess said as fear began to overpower her adrenaline. The burned mass seemed to become ash and blow away with the gentle breeze coming from the hole in the wall. Leaving Cadence with one question.Where did Dimentio go?
“Checkmate.” Dimentio said as he snapped his fingers. Cadence looked around in a panic as her surroundings began to shift into a seemingly endless green landscape.
"Wha-where am I?" Cadence said as she prepared for another round of combat.
"I've realized that I cannot beat you conventionally...and from what I've heard of you Alicorns, you are the current deities in your plane." Dimentio said casually.
"Current?" Cadence asked, the statement throwing her off guard. "Which other deities could you be referring to? Discord?"
"Discord? A deity?" Dimentio scoffed. "He was barely worthy of being my lackey the last time I was here."
"Lackey? Wait, the last time you were here!?" Cadence asked, the jester's words making less and less sense.
"Oh, was it not in your history books? That is...disappointing, but I suppose much knowledge was lost when I was cast out." Dimentio said as he opened a small portal to leave. "I suppose I've entertained you long enough princess."
"Wait, no! Let me out of here!" Cadence yelled as she took flight in an attempt to escape.
"Ciao, Princess." Dimentio said Cadence was trapped in Dimension D.
Edited by- ChanglingLumin preread by- Nightingalehound Proofread by- A Renegade Time Lord
I found that and just...wow. I'm even going to look this up afterwards. I'm sorry for this intermission instead of an actual chapter but I couldn't help it. This just makes the story a lot better. Again, sorry for the lack of a chapter, I'll be sure to have one up soon. No, this isn't advertising a different story, it's like a ghettofied version of this one. Here are a few of my favorites.
“Bitch left just before he rocked up in hood square.” Raritizzle replied.
“Well shit.” Jizzy holla'd scratchin tha back of his neck fo' realz. A moment later, Shinin Armor stirred causin mah playas up in tha room ta rush over ta his muthafuckin ass.
John and the six Elements (headed by a furious Twilight) boarded the train to the Crystal Empire. After a silent ride, the group arrived at the nearest train station to the great place.
“I wonder if we will become Crystalline again... Oh, I do hope so.” Rarity said dreamily, her eyes sparkling as the group departed and began their trek to the Crystal Empire.
“Rarity, we have more important business to attend to!” Twilight said, frustrated with her friend’s flighty nature.
“Yes, yes I know. I just thought we needed something positive to lighten the atmosphere.” Rarity said thoughtfully.
“Look, I’m sorry...I just need to make sure Cadence is alright.” Twilight said with a sigh, regretting her earlier tone.
“Well, let’s get up there and show that freak Dimentio what’s what!” Rainbow Dash cut in as she took flight and jabbed the air a few times with her forehooves, her eyes aflame with excitement.
“Usually I wouldn’t be so confident about this kind of thing, but I’m with RD!” John said with a smirk. Rainbow’s enthusiasm made their task seem possible, if not a bit easy.
“I...I think I’ll just stay here...if that’s alright.” Fluttershy said, trembling, bowing her head in a desperate attempt to hide herself.
“Aw, C’mon Flutters. I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Rainbow said as she landed beside her nervous friend and placed a comforting hoof on her shoulder.
“Are you sure?” The timid pony said as she looked up slightly. Rainbow responded with a slight nudge and confident smile. Fluttershy picked up the pace slightly and smiled weakly, but was still visibly frightened.
“And when we win, I can throw a big party!” Pinkie said as she sprung up into the air, followed by confetti, a big goofy grin on her face.
The group suddenly grew quiet when they saw the smoking tower at the center of the Crystal Empire. Chunks of the spire fell off as bright flashes were seen coming from the exposed area inside of it, the walls shaking as the battle inside continued.
“No...”Twilight muttered when she saw the crumbling tower.
“We’re not too late, c’mon!” John said as he broke into a sprint.
Dimentio laughed as the panicking pink alicorn faded from view. As he took the Crystal Heart and began to float out, the doors to the throne room swung open, revealing five ponies and a human.
“Oh, it’s just you.” Dimentio said, his tone heavy with mock disappointment. “Wait a moment... John, is that you? I thought your game had ended.” the jester said curiously.
“No, it’s the other human in the world full of ponies. Who the hell else could I be?” John asked, his voice burning with anger.
“So hostile. May I ask why?” Dimentio teased his tone quickly changing to a smug attitude.
“Where’s Cadence?” Twilight asked through gritted teeth, she glared menacingly at Dimentio.
“You just missed her, but I’ll be sure to tell her you dropped by.” Dimentio chuckled. "I really should be leaving though, my companion has been waiting in the cold snow for so long."
“Not this time!” John yelled as he lunged at Dimentio. The jester stopped and looked at the determined human. Seemingly not expecting the attack.
The pair tussled for a moment on the ground before Dimentio managed to wriggle free of the human's grasp. John quickly recovered and delivered a quick punch to Dimentio's face stunning him momentarily.
“Yeah! C'mon girls, let's get him!” Rainbow Dash yelled as she attempted to tackle Dimentio from above. The rest of the elements sprang into action in an attempt to help John and Rainbow Dash.
Within seconds the group seemingly subdued the jester. Dimentio even seemed to give up as all of them pummeled him.
"Well, this is disappointing." Came a sarcastic voice from nearby.
"You're kidding." John said as the fake Dimentio they had been beating up faded from existence.
"Oh on the contrary, I am always deadly serious." Dimentio said as he watched his illusory double disappear.
"John, your attacks are sluggish at best, and your friends?" Dimentio said as he scanned the terrified looking ponies. "A coward, a roughneck, a fool, a simpleton, and one too focused on fashion to be of any use." Dimentio continued as he demoralized the ponies one by one.
"You forgot about me." Twilight said through gritted teeth.
"Are you so sure? I believe you can fall under a few of those categories." Dimentio said in mock contemplation."Perhaps you feel so above your friends that you don't believe that you could be insulted in such ways."
"Agh!" Twilight yelled as she fired several blasts of magic at the magician who casually teleported.
"Awe, did I hurt the pony's feelings? Or did I just confirm your fears?" Dimentio whispered into Twilight's ear as he appeared right beside her. Before she could respond, he snapped his fingers causing a purple blast of his own to throw her across the already damaged floor. Twilight quickly attempted to get back up only to be hit again by a similar attack. The purple pony almost couldn't stand to see the now seared flesh on her side where both attacks had hit, but she ignored the intense pain and stood back on her hooves.
"You son of a-"John said as he charged only to be trapped in a strange box that seemed to be drawn around him. "No..." Was all John could say before a deafening explosion shattering the box cut him off.
"No!" All of the ponies yelled as they stared at the settling dust that had once been the human.
"Why would you...How could you!?" Was all Twilight could manage between her physical and mental anguish.
"C'mon Gals, we won't let him get away!" Applejack said attempting to keep the others focused in the given situation, not even noticing that Dimentio himself was distracted.
"Nothing." Was all Dimentio said as he stared at the space that he had just blown up. "Interesting."
"What are you on about now?" Rainbow Dash said angrily as she tried to recover from the shock of seeing her new friend decimated.
"Oh, you're all still here...You ponies aren't too bright are you?" Dimentio asked without so much as glancing at the group.
"Don't think we're done for just yet!" Twilight said rallying the others into a charge.
“Simply pathetic.” Dimentio sighed as he teleported a few feet away causing the ponies that were attempting to attack him to harmlessly fly past.
“What the-?” Dimentio looked down to see that a badly burned John was hanging onto his feet.
“That’s odd.” Dimentio said and teleported again, this time outside in the harsh cold.
“I don’t know how you’re alive...let alone how you seem to be able to keep holding on to me through my teleporting but...” Dimentio began as he blasted John with a purple sphere of magic, forcing him to let go.
“You’re still just a human.” He said as he laughed at the human’s tumbling towards the unforgiving ground.
“John!” Twilight and Rainbow Dash yelled as they recovered and took flight in an attempt to save John.
After seeing that the ponies would not be able to save the human in time, Dimentio resumed his laughter.
“Ciao, little ponies.” Dimentio said as he floated away, Crystal Heart in tow.
Dimentio arrived back where he left Trixie, as he expected she was nowhere to be found. Suddenly, he heard a few crunching sounds as someone/pony approached.
“Finally...What did you do up there?!” Trixie asked as she emerged from the surrounding trees..
“Subdued a prince, captured a princess, stole a crystal heart, and killed a human. Any questions?” Dimentio asked as he continued his casual waltz back to where he agreed to meet the changelings.
“Wait! What do you mean, ‘captured a princess’?” Trixie asked alarmedly.
“I captured a princess, I don’t think I can get much clearer than that.” Dimentio retorted.
“Where is she? Did you leave her at the castle or something?” Trixie inquired as she looked around for the pink alicorn.
“No, I left her in Dimension D.” Dimentio explained.
“Dimension D?” Trixie asked.
“I thought we were done with the questioning thing...”Dimentio said, shaking his head. “Regardless, I doubt you could wrap your head around my kind of magic.”
“Hey! It was a simple question, you didn’t have to insult me.” Trixie said angrily.
“You even admit that it was a simple question.” Dimentio sighed.
“Ugh! You are insufferable sometimes.” Trixie murmured.
“Says the blue horse that, until a day or so ago, couldn’t go through a sentence without saying her own name.” Dimentio replied. Trixie opened her mouth to argue, but was stopped by Dimentio raising his hand. “Now, back to business. I have half of what I need. Do you happen to know what counts for a ‘monster’ in this world?”
“Well, you and that other creature I guess. ‘Monster’ isn’t a term that is used often in Equestria.” Trixie answered, unsure as to where Dimentio was going with this.
“Hmm...I’m certainly not an option for this...And I’m pretty sure I can’t use a dead body for it either so that disqualifies John.” Dimentio said, lost in thought. “Perhaps I should enlist some outside help.”
“What do you mean, ‘outside help’?” Trixie asked suspiciously.
“Hmm? Oh, nothing to worry your pretty little head about.” Dimentio said. “How about you meet the changelings and give them our present. There is something I must attend to.” Dimentio said as he handed the crystal heart to Trixie, who accepted it with clear confusion. Dimentio suddenly snapped his fingers and warped away to another world.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot about John didn’t I?
John hurdled to the ground at a frightening pace, he saw both Twilight and Rainbow Dash trying to save him, the latter was catching up quickly. Unfortunately, he hadn’t told them about his newly acquired ‘safety net’.
“Don’t! Both of you slow down!” John screamed over the rushing air.
“No! I’m not going to let you fall to your death!” Twilight yelled back.
“Me neither!” Dash agreed.
“I’ll be fine!” John argued.
“I’ve got ya!” Rainbow Dash yelled as she grabbed John’s arm, she didn’t see the rapidly approaching ground in time. “Aw horsefeathers.” She said as she closed her eyes and braced for impact...but it never came.
“Told you.” John said as they were both thrown back upwards violently.
Rainbow Dash looked around flabbergasted. A second ago, she was about to collide with the ground at a speed that would have left her crippled...or worse.
“How did you...how are we...why didn’t you say something!” Dash yelled after finding the right words.
“I tried, but you and Twilight insisted. Oh shit, Twilight!” John yelled as he looked back towards the ground, searching for his purple friend.
“Up here!” He heard from above, somehow, Twilight had gotten back up to the rest of their friends.
“I think you forgot that she could teleport.” Dash chuckled. “Speaking of which, how are we going to-umph!” She was interrupted by an abrupt impact as the two landed inside the tower beside the other ponies.
“I think I have some explaining to do.” John said as he set Rainbow Dash down.
“You can do it on the way back to Ponyville, we need to tell my brother what happened.” Twilight said urgently. John nodded and the group left the trashed throne room and made their way back to the train station.
Back to Dimentio
Dimentio made his way through the small, dirty town of Rogueport. This was the perfect place to find a candidate. Suddenly, a blue thief bumped into him. Dimentio noticed that the fool had tried to pat him down for coins.
“Hey, watch where you’re going!” The hoodlum yelled as he attempted to run away. Unfortunately for him, a bright barrier was suddenly blocking him off in every direction.
“I’m afraid I have no use for your currency here.” Dimentio tutted at his captive. “But, I will not tolerate some common thief attempting to mug me.”
“Uh, listen, if you let me go I’ll give you two hundred coins!” the thief begged.
“I think I just told you that I have no use for your coins. I’m starting to think that being blue makes you dense.” Dimentio sighed
“Just let me go!” the blue thief implored.
“How about I-wait, why am I asking you? Ciao!” Dimentio said as he walked off. A moment later, the magical box surrounding the bandit ignited and obliterated the incarcerated being.
“That was a minor setback, fun as it was.” Dimentio said with a slight bit of disappointment tainting his voice. “Where am I going to find someone useful and ignorant?”
“Buhuh whaaa!” Came a sudden voice causing Dimentio to look around. The moment he looked down he saw a growing shadow below him. The jester quickly sidestepped just before a round shape made contact with the ground.
Proofread by Renegade Timelord Preread by Nightingalehound
Chapter 16: Planned Plans Are Planned By Careful Planning
Chapter 16: Planned Plans Are Planned By Careful Planning
The next several days went by quickly as Shining Armor recuperated. Twilight and John speculated what could be done to save Cadence and the multiverse for that matter. Princess Celestia and occasionally Luna would come by and contribute to the attempted planning. Discord hadn’t been seen for awhile, which worried everypony slightly. Celestia said that Discord could handle himself and would probably be able to stop Dimentio single handedly. While nopony really questioned that fact, they all wondered why Discord hadn’t done so earlier.
Perhaps the strangest thing was that no news had come about Dimentio: no sightings, no disappearances, nothing that would really alert them to Dimentio’s presence. In fact, the only strange occurrences lately, according to Celestia, was the increased changeling sightings in the Everfree; a problem that, according to her, could be solved by increasing patrols in the area. Surprisingly enough, the Princesses decided to upgrade Equestria’s millitary quite a bit when John explained what Dimentio’s plan probably was. After telling them that Dimentio could, with the Chaos Heart, obliterate Equestria’s current force with the raising of an eyebrow, efforts had begun to find a way to counter the Heart’s power.
Presently
“Look, we need to find a way to save Cadence. According to what you’ve said. Dimentio can’t make the Chaos Heart without her or some other princess!” Twilight argued once again to John.
“I agree, but none of us have the means to get into Dimension D. Even if we did, I wouldn’t want to face Dimentio there.”
“Why not?” Twilight asked, frustrated with the entire situation.
“He’d have the homefield advantage alongside all of the other advantages he has on us.” John reasoned.
“True, he is too powerful for us to face head-on. Without Discord anyway. Any word on that situation?” Twilight asked the question on everypony’s minds.
“No, and despite what the princess says, I’m getting worried. Discord is our best hope for fighting Dimentio.” John sighed.
“Aside from you.” Twilight said.
“Me? If you haven’t noticed, I’m not much of a fighter.” John argued.
“No, but you have some of Dimentio’s own powers. If what Discord said was true, you have more energy to expend than Dimentio because of your soul being connected to him.” Twilight countered.
“I can’t even control those powers, they only kick in when I’m in danger. All they do is keep me from being killed.” John said.
“That may be, but it’s still something.” Twilight assured.
“I guess.” John said as he stood up. “I think I’m going to stop by Rarity’s place and pick up some clothes.”
“Wait! I almost forgot to tell you that Shining is going to be allowed to leave the hospital today, Celestia has already filled him in and he wants to speak with you when you get the chance.” Twilight insisted.
“Alright, I’ll stop by there later.” John said as they concluded their meeting. In the six days that had passed since their last encounter with Dimentio, they had been having meetings daily. These meetings had all been pretty much fruitless, but they never really gave up hope.
Meanwhile, in an undisclosed location
“Buhuh...Where am I? Hey, you reading the story! Wh-thwack!-” Crump was shut up with a blue hoof to the face.
“Shut it X-boy!” Trixie yelled, whoever this guy was. Dimentio had better explain why he was needed for the plan.
“Hey, that’s no way to treat our guest, Trixie.” Dimentio scolded, happy that Crump had finally come to. “Now...the game can really begin.”
"What do you need him for anyway?" Trixie asked, regarding the whimpering Lord Crump.
"Yeah! Why do you need me?-Thwack!-" Crump asked only to receive another smack to the face from Trixie.
"I just asked that." Trixie clarified harshly.
"Trixie!" Dimentio scolded as he tried to hold back laughter.
"Sorry...his face is just very...smackable." Trixie said, hanging her head in partial shame. "Ah...proceed. Get it out of your system." Dimentio said, impressed by Trixie's wording.
-Thwack Thwack Thwack!- Trixie wailed on Crump's face.
"Hey! Stop it! Buhuh-Ow! -Thwack-" Crump fought against his restraints to no avail.
-Thwack Thwack- Okay, this had gone far enough.
"X-Nauts!" Lord Crump called, suddenly a small force of short masked people burst into the room, removed Trixie from their commanderr and began to pummel her
"Hmmm? I don't remember bringing anyone else here...how did you do that?" Dimentio asked, his curiosity piqued.
"Wouldn’t you like to know.X-Nauts, attack!" Lord Crump yelled and the small men jumped at Dimentio.
Well, this is going to be a pain in the ass. I've recently realized just how much work needs to be done on most of my earlier chapters...recently is a bit of a lie actually. I have been mulling it over for well over a month now and have decided to rewrite several chapters. What does this mean? It means John will actually have a personality, a true purpose...basically I'm going to un-garystuify him. "Dimentio?" you may ask. "What about Dimentio?" Well I have a good answer for that. Dimentio is going to be a bit more...Dimentio-ey. Lord Crump is going to stay the way he is...because the last few chapters aren't going to change much. So...yeah this is happening.
I patiently waited around the Carousel Boutique, it honestly hadn't been a very eventful stay. Even with everything going on, most of the ponies seemed to just ignore it and carry on with their lives...something that reminded me of home. Ah good old America, where one could simply not give a damn and live their in sheepy contentment. Normally, I wouldn't really reminisce about things that most would criticize, but it would definitely be preferable to the stress of attempting to save the universe. Speaking of which, I had to be the lamest hero ever The Guy That Somehow Manages to Narrowly Avoid Death and Slightly Inconvenience the Villain! The name needed work, but it was the most accurate thing I could think of...short of Inconvenience Man! A name that Twilight promptly rejected on the basis of Copyright...Yeah, there was apparently a comic book series in Equestria called Inconvenience Mare so she said it could cause some confusion. I made a mental note to keep an eye out for such a comic book.
Alright, I suppose I should get back on track. I really needed Rarity to hurry, apparently Twilight's brother had more or less recovered and needed to see me. And honestly? I needed someone with combat experience to train me. I doubted it would really help against Dimentio, but it couldn't hurt. If I could somehow use my 'magic' to fight instead of attempting melee, I might even stand a fighting chance. Without Mario's ridiculous jumping and of course the ability to save and retry fights (which is obviously canon, it was like trying to swat a fly with a chopstick. An odd analogy I know, but if you had tried it you might understand how bad the situation was. Damn, I got off track again didn't I?
As if sensing the end of my monologue, Rarity entered with several boxes. I assumed that they were my clothes that I had ordered a while back. Even though the ponies went around naked, I still felt the need to change clothes. The ponies seemed to even ignore the smell...I didn't though, and that was what really mattered.
"Well John, I managed to repair your shirt, though I can't imagine why you would wear something so plain." Rarity said as she eyed my shirt with hardly hidden disdain.
"I like it. I mean, it's a lot more comfortable than going without. That and it's casual wear, I don't have much reason to dress formally." I said as I scratched at the bandages that covered my chest. I grunted in discomfort as i felt the spot on my back that Dimentio had blasted a few days ago. "I kind of wish I had something a bit more protective though."
"I suppose that would be helpful." Rarity said with a nod. "What with the 'fighting an evil magician' business. Ugh, I wish that jester would wear something more fashionable."
"He wants to kill us all, and your first thought is his choice of clothing." I said incredulously. I mean really, who the hell does that?
"Well, no. I was just making some small talk." Rarity said with some slight frustration.
"I guess that's fine. Well, thanks for the clothing and all. I need to speak with Twilight's brother." I said as I picked up the small boxes and headed to the hospital. I honestly didn't understand how pony hospitals worked. Back home if a horse was injured badly enough we would normally just put it down...I guess that it only made sense that ponies didn't send their fellow citizens to the glue factory, it being a children's show and all. This still raised many questions, but I'm sure the only answers I would get would be the standard 'magic' explanation that I was given by Twilight multiple times. Speaking of Twilight...as much as I appreciated her letting me hang around the library, her constant nagging and questions were starting to get a bit old. She obviously meant well, but I couldn't simply explain all of human history...especially not at the risk of bringing religion to this place. Even though the risk of that was incredibly small, I just didn't want to take it. It definitely wasn't some kind of justification to keep from ranting about the little things about home. I wasn't a misanthropic asshole, but earth doesn't exactly have a great track record when compared to colorful happy pony land.
As I walked into the hospital, I headed towards Shining's room only to find it empty. As I turned around to ask a nurse if he had been moved, my eyes met an interesting sight.
"We need to talk." Shining said as he balanced on his crutches. The ridiculous sight compounded with the fact that Shining's legs weren't even injured was just annoying me.
"Why the hell are you in crutches! How in the hell does that even make sense!"
As Shining Armor and I left the Hospital he quickly turned around and fired a bolt of magic from his horn directly at my face. As suddenly as he had attacked me, I felt a dull pain in my head and a flash of light as a golden barrier The barrier that encased and contained the blast quickly faded and I was greeted by Shining Armor's grinning muzzle.
"I'm glad that worked. Granted, from what I had heard your power usually just teleported you or something."
"What the hell was that man!...Stallion, whatever the hell. You could have killed me!" I yelled at him as the dull migraine began to fade.
"But I didn't, and apart from that great accomplishment, I tested a theory." Shining said, his grin refusing to dim.
"And what theory was that? The fact that I have an ultimately useless ability to save myself?" I asked my anger still intact.
"Well, I wouldn't say useless...that barrier, it looked oddly similar to our mutual enemy did it not?" Shining said as he began hobbling into town.
"I guess so." I said my anger being replaced by a bit of fear that the origin of my 'power' could make the ponies trust me less.
"That jester...you know quite a bit about him. Why is that?" Shining pressed slightly suspicious.
"Well, back in my world. There's this game..." I began only to be interrupted.
"A game? What do you mean by that exactly?" Shining asked, disbelief creeping into his voice.
"It...well it's hard to explain, but I guess I'll try. Where I come from, we play games on these...windows I guess you could say, we have controllers and can control a protag-" I tried to find the words only to be cut off once again.
"You mean video games?" Shining interrupted, completely shattering my perceptions of pony technology and rendering me speechless for a few moments. After noticing that I had stopped, he turned and he acquired a smug grin. "What? Is that surprising?"
"Err...well, seeing all of the trains and everything in the-I mean, around here...maybe a tad." I admitted. "I guess that simplifies things. Dimentio is an antagonist in one of our games, to be honest though, meeting him in person was probably the most terrifying thing I've ever experienced...I still can't believe all of this is real though." I said and we continued our walk.
"It must be one hell of an experience, being in a completely unfamiliar land." Shining said, I think I sensed a shred of sympathy in his voice.
"That's an understatement." I mumbled.
"Well, as much as that sucks. We have more important things to attend to." Shining said. "I think we can find a way to use your power to our advantage."
"How?" I asked.
"I think we can train you to fight. From what I've heard, you're pretty crummy at it." Shining Armor said as he suddenly stopped.
"Thanks, I'm sure with your encouragement, I'll be able to take Dimentio out, no problem at all." I responded and looked around. We had stopped in an area just outside of Ponyville that looked like it had been set up for some kind of boot camp like scenario.
"Well, here we are." Shining said, now quite serious.
"And this is your way of toughening me up?" I asked sarcastically, already dreading the answer.
"Yep, and I asked Princess Celestia to find a few soldiers from the royal guard to help train you and defend the elements."Meet Sergeant Rock Hull and Lieutenant Fireside." He said as a large brown male unicorn and a stout red female pegasus approached and saluted Shining Armor. The brown one's mark displayed a large stone whereas the red had what looked like a blowtorch.
"Err, hello?" I said nervously, their stoic faces kind of creeped me out.
The pair shot me a glance and their stoic masks gave way to questioning looks at their commander.
"This thing here, is John." Shining said simply.
"Y'know, being called a thing is a bit rude." I said and turned to greet the two soldiers who had replaced their looks of bored stoicism. Shining quickly hit me where the sun doesn't shine with his crutch sending me to the ground. Out of care for my own dignity, I resigned myself to quiet whimpering instead of cursing and screaming.
"You speak when spoken to soldier." He said seriously. "Now, I'm sure the two of you have read the reports. Some crazy being has been terrorizing Equestria...These reports are true, and I've witnessed firsthand that this Dimentio bastard is not a pushover."
"You can say that again. I mean, he sure kicked your ass." I said as I struggled to stand only to receive a crutch to the aforementioned place of darkness.
"Remember your place in this training exercise Private!" Shining reminded me as he returned to his speech."Now, Dimentio uses some form of magic that I've never seen, heard, or read about before. And as former captain of the guard, I've read up on just about everything that has the potential to threaten this great kingdom...Whatever this guy is..."
"Sure, you call him a guy, but me? I'm just a freaking THING." I should have known better by now, but I tend to be a little dense. This time however, I anticipated where the crutch was going to hit and blocked it only to have a second strike crack me in the head. "Damnit all!" I said as I rolled over in pain.
"Dimentio defeated both Cadence and I without any help. Whatever kind of magic he uses, it's more powerful than what we can muster. My shields were child's play to him." He said and both soldiers' expressions became shocked, as if Shining's shields were so super....I just got hit in the head, I can use alliteration to express my sarcasm if I want to.
"That's impossible though, we measured your shield strength to be able to withstand pressure up to one hundred and thirty thousand PSI at full strength!" Fireside said in disbelief. Her description kind of affirmed in my head that she was some kind of pony engineer or something.
"I know, but whatever his magic is...it simply ripped through my shields." Shining said. "Cadence wasn't really able to stand up to him either." His expression became grim.
"Where is the princess anyway?" Stone Hull asked as he glanced around.
"Captured by the enemy, that's why we need this one." He gestured at me.
"Him? What use can he be?" Fireside asked, now intrigued.
"He may not look like much, but he uses the same magic Dimentio does....and he knows the enemy better than anybody else." Shining said prodding me with his crutch, I guess it was my cue to finally stand back up. "As pathetic as he looks now, we're going to need him. That's why I had the two of you set this up, we need him in top shape as quickly as possible."
"How quick were you thinking?" Stone Hull asked sizing me up with his eyes, he obviously wasn't impressed.
"We'll train him in combat over the next two weeks, maybe try to harness his magic after that." Shining said confidently.
"That's pretty optimistic, do you really think we can get him ready for combat in only a few weeks?" Fireside asked, now unsure of the former captain's judgement.
"That happens to be why I had the Princess retrieve the two of you instead of some drill sergeant used to training ponies for the guard." Shining said, his confident smile not fading. "I know between the three of us, we can have him ready to take on a herd of Minotaurs within the month."
"You said something about his magic, exactly how does it work?" Stone Hull asked, still unsure if I had any potential at all. I can't really blame him though, I still wasn't sure how Shining planned to get my magic to be useful for anything but saving my own ass.
"Well, how about you hurl a boulder his way, and I'll show you." Shining said, my eyes grew wide as I saw a boulder covered in a brown aura burst from the ground and hurdle towards me at frightening speeds.
As if by instinct, I snapped my fingers and a barrier very similar to the one that had blocked Shining's attack surrounded the now halted boulder. A second snap and a trio of explosions turned the boulder into a shower of pebbles as the barrier faded.
"Wow...That was awesome." Fireside said as she zoomed to my side, inspecting my hands very carefully. "Somehow, he focused the magic through these, and just...I've never seen anything like it."
"What's even better is that I have no fucking idea how I did that." I said still shaking a bit. The dull headache that seemed to be synonymous with my power seemed to affirm how it had happened.
"Hmmm, so you're saying it just responds when you're in danger?" Fireside continued, not ceasing her studying of me.
"Pretty much, that's why I think this is pointless. I'm sure Discord can handle Dimentio alone." I said.
"Well, all distractions aside...let's get started." Shining said ominously. And thus began the first week of hell.
Discord sensed trace of the all too familiar magic within the Everfree forest. He knew that Dimentio was near.
"Found you." Dimentio said as he rose from the trees to meet Discord head on. "So, Starswirl...I'd like some of my power back if you'd please."
"Never, besides, my name is Discord now." Discord said as he attempted to teleport Dimentio again.
"Not so fast. I'm afraid I've recovered quite a bit since our last encounter...enough chatter, if you give me what's rightfully mine...I'll even let you live...for a while anyway. Or of course,you can try to make things difficult and I'll just take it." Dimentio offered generously.
A thud resounded throughout the training grounds as I once again collapsed. My entire body was sore, every muscle either strained or just exhausted. This had become a regular thing over the past week, but I wasn't quite used to it yet. The latest circle of hell presented to me by Prince Hardass was a 'reflex exercise'. Dodging Fireside swooping in and attempting to clock me in the head and blocking Stone Hull hurling rocks at my chest with a small but surprisingly heavy shield made out of what I assumed to be iron.
"Hey, you lasted five minutes longer than last time!" Fireside yelled encouragingly as she landed to check me for any serious injuries. I was pretty badly bruised and generally sore, but still kicking. The pair had been certain that none of their strikes had any chance of killing me...probably so that I couldn't use magic to defend myself. On the occasion it still activated, but not often enough to save me from one hell of a beating. The pain of using it was less every time it activated...that or I was in so much pain on the outside that a mild headache didn't phase me.
"Get your sorry ass up, do you really think that Dimentio will give you time to recover?" Stone Hull asked as he kicked me in the ribs, I managed to roll over and groan. Any attempts to get up or fight back were futile, at least until Twilight, Rarity, and Pinkie walked up to help pick me up. If it hadn't been for the Mane six, I'd probably have died in the first three days of Shining's 'conditioning'.
"C'mon Sis, you can't coddle him." Shining said as he approached as well.Somehow his wounds were already healed. Probably something to do with magic. "We need him ready to face Dimentio as soon as possible."
"Well he'll never be able to fight anybody if you kill him!" Twilight argued back as she levitated a water bottle that I quickly chugged.
"She's right, if Dimentio attacked right now, I wouldn't be able to even move." I said agreeing with Twilight and finally managing to stand...well as well as I possibly could.
"Even if you were well rested right now, Dimentio would wipe the floor with you." Shining deadpanned. "Besides, we're almost done with the physical training, lasting five minutes against Fireside and Stone Hull is pretty impressive. Physically, you've improved quite a bit, so I think my methods are effective enough."
"If not Borderline homicidal." I replied. "I need a break, if you keep pushing me, I'll probably break something." He probably would have shot my request for some type of reprieve off if it hadn't been for Twilight and her friends' death glares.
"A fair point. I guess we could all use a bit of a break. You have three days, after that we'll get to work on honing your magic." Shining Conceded uneasily.
"Thank God." I said as I finally allowed myself to pass out.
"This has been fun Starswirl, really it has...But I tire of this." Dimentio said with a sigh. "I'll offer once more, relinquish my property or face punishment for your treason."
"How are you...so powerful...again?" Discord asked through heavy breaths.
"Well, I don't think you're in the position to ask those kinds of questions. That insane demeanor of yours is fading a bit old friend, I suppose I was right in saying that your feeble mind couldn't cope with that power." Dimentio said as he dusted himself off.
"I won't let you retake your throne. Your order ruined this land." Discord said as his mind raced with memories from millennium past.
"I have no interest in ruling these ponies...no, I have plans that spit on the title of king." Dimentio said as he teleported to Discord's side and lifted his hand to his throat. "And those plans require more power than I have right now."
"No..." Discord said weakly as Dimentio reclaimed his power. His form slowly reverted to that of a pathetically old Pony with an irregularly large beard.
"Tsk Tsk, Starswirl. I really wish you had simply allowed me to take it, now I have to wait for it to regenerate...Quite the delay." Dimentio said as he left the old pony to die in the forest. "Now, Crump should be finishing his preparations..."
"I'm not sure Lord Crump...Do you really think we should be following this guy?" An X-Naut asked me, almost as if questioning my leadership.
"I'm sure Grodus would approve. Buh Buh, These horses won't stand a chance." I said, completely certain that these backwater creatures were completely defenseless. My superior brain power would surely make this an easy operation. Already, my specially appointed stealth force was doing reconnaissance and had probably already subdued the enemy leader.
Being completely honest with myself...this disguise was amazing. I'm really just glad I got the front half. X-Naut One happens to be blindly moving forward with me in an attempt to keep up. While I, X-naut A, bravely leading this two man team to...uh...do that thing that Lord Crump told us to do that I definitely remember. I was totally listening and not just jumping at the chance to use this horse cost-disguise that I've had since the Halloween party a few years back.
"Psst, hey A, we need to stick to the plan." One said stupidly, obviously doubting my greatness.
"Yeah, I know...Which part of the plan do you think we should execute first?" I asked cleverly showing that I definitely know what I'm talking about.
"The part that involves-uhoh, we're not alone in this costume." One said, thinking he could make me look.
"This Pony disguise is really good, I knew I sensed two new ponies-or whatever you two are! But I only saw one at first so I decided to get up in here and investigate." The voice was punctuated by my part of the disguise being flooded with pink and what seemed like cotton candy.
During the small rest period John is given, Lord Crump attacks with a large force of X-Nauts and the Magnus Von Grapple XI (looks quite like the Brobot+Magnus Von Grapple. The Ponyvillians actually manage to beat back the X-Nauts pretty easily, but Lord Crump proves to be another story when they find that he has a shield to block magic and standard projectiles. John confronts the X-Naut leader with the full belief that he can beat him by simply playing off Crump's idiocy. John gets beaten pretty badly but at least manages to damage the machine's power supply forcing the shield to drop. Shining Armor then works together with his two subordinates to destroy the giant robot, but Crump still escapes and the remaining X-Nauts disappear with him. Lord Crump informs Dimentio of John's survival and the competence of the soldiers in the town.
John's magic training begins and goes relatively well as he finally learns how to at least summon up a spark of it to fight with by convincing the power within him that NOT doing so would lead to his death. Shining, proud of his work, leaves for Canterlot upon being summoned by the princesses. Little does he know that this was simply a diversionary tactic as Dimentio casually enters the town and attacks a cornered John. He reveals that in the human world, it had been several million years since he had teleported him to Equestria. John refused to believe it until Dimentio showed him a portal to what looked like a post apocalyptic earth. John reasoned that Dimentio had nothing to gain by lying and accepted what the jester told him as fact and quickly gave up. With nothing left to truly live for, John simply sulked into the corner and prepared for the death blow.The Cutie Mark Crusaders attempt to help the doomed human with a surprisingly effective ambush that delays Dimentio for a few moments. Dimentio, now annoyed prepares to teleport the Crusaders to another dimension to get them away without directly killing them as John jumps in the way. The spell has a decent area of effect and still strikes the Crusaders, teleporting John and the fillies to Rogueport.
Adventures in the Paper Mario world ensue as John and the Crusaders (now in paper form) attempt to find their way back. John decides that while he can't really blame Dimentio for what happened to the earth, he could still help the beings that had accepted him and kill the thing that took him from his world. Once John and the girls come in contact with Professor Frankly he learns that the power of the Crystal Stars(which have been stolen by many thieves after the events of TTYD) may give him the amount of power he'd need to get himself and the Crusaders back to Equestria while the Thousand Year Door itself would allow him to travel through Dimensions without years of training his powers. After a rather long journey with a few boss fights, John and the girls gather the stars and end up at the Thousand Year Door. The group manages to combine the power of the stars with the door they once sealed and transport themselves back to Equestria. They learn that it has been four years since they had left and Dimentio had taken over the entire Dimension. He apparently was planning on using Celestia for the formation of the Chaos Heart instead of Cadence as he wanted to see her face when she was forced to destroy the multiverse. John joins the few remaining fighters in the resistance in a last ditch effort to stop Dimentio. Luckily most of the Mane six managed(sans Fluttershy) to stay hidden along with the Elements. In a last ditch effort to save everything, the resistance attacks Dimentio's new seat of power, the now floating Canterlot. With quite a bit of effort and the death of both Fireside and Stonehull.
A series of battles happen including: Koopa Bros (would have been summoned and recruited by Dimentio by now) vs Rainbow Dash and Applejack, Shining Armor vs Lord Crump, Doopliss Vs Rarity and Pinkie Pie, Twilight vs Trixie, John(using the Crystal Stars) vs Dimentio, John, Celestia(injured), and Luna VS Dimentio + Chaos Heart (the rumor from before was false, he just wanted to lure the prisoners there to personally deal with this), and finally after the Elements catch up (now with Fluttershy) they blast Dimentio with the Elements of Harmony. This manages to weaken the Chaos Heart considerably, but not enough to completely destroy it. After this John fights Dimentio again with both of them weakened, the battle ends with John managing to grab and keep hold of Dimentio using the power left within the Crystal Stars to hold them both in place. After John pleads with them to do so as it would be the only way to stop the Chaos Heart for good, the Elements blast John and Dimentio and forcibly turn them both to stone. After this, the Crystal Stars bind the pair and they sink into the ground as the stars burst into the sky and separate (Dragon Ball Z style).
After the Mane Six age and die, an elderly Trixie finally brings the Crystal Stars to the site that Dimentio perished and undoes the lock holding Dimentio and John in place...
