Edger Allegore Poeny is a poet and social commentator, but when his agent discovers a hidden group of horror stories and publishes them, Edger is met with growing acclaim. He is invited to Ponyville to perform a reading of not only his work, but also his poetry. However, when he arrives, Edger can't help but notice that some of the ponies there bear a striking resemblance to characters in one of his stories.
(This would fall under the category of 'slow burn horror', where the horror builds only slightly until the very end. This also falls under the category of "Gothic horror" given its focus on atmosphere to evoke a sense of despair, rather than exclusively on action.)
Chapters (12)
I was listening to Death Waltz when I read this and it escalated as the... operation did. That helped build atmosphere, but I have to say that you did good on this chapter.
Who is the beige pony in the character tag?
2492095 The beige pony would be Caramel. However, in the fandom universe, there seems to be two of them, the effeminate one that always tends to somehow end up with Big Mac, and then the more masculine one which seems more in character with the show. I have decided to use the latter version.
This was awesome... Can't wait for more!
2499173 Thank you. To be honest, I was unsure whether or not to begin my writing exercises with the slow burn style. Some readers tend to find the sudden introduction of otherworldly elements too much, but I felt it was a good place to start for me.
So, do we have opinions on this one now that it is done? The second series is going to be in the cosmic horror genre, where we'll see some more of this Helioselene mythos, and it will also help us delve into the third story after it, but I want to wait until the second is finished before I give more details.
2510453 I have to say this. You need to write more!!!!!
Seriously this is exactly the kind of horror story I like to see! Now I do love the blood, but when it comes to written stories I love the atmosphere to them the most since I find a well crafted atmosphere does the best for written horror. I also respect horror films that don't jump straight into the blood, 30 Days of Night for instance, so you have even more props from me in this respect as it just builds more tension
I love how you've written this story, nothing happens too quickly or to slowly. A few aspects, namely the shadows and lights, call to mind one of my favorite video games Alan Wake.
So all I can say is that if you keep turning out stories like this then you'll be a MORE then welcome addition to my group All Things Horror!
2521242 My one worry in regards to the story was too much of a similarity to the shadows from Alan Wake. But Don't worry, they, was well as the ponnequins and batkins, will have further explanation in the next story.
Beyond that, though, I'm most happy that you enjoy my work.
2521350 Oh don't worry, it's nothing overly similar just comes across like a bit of a nod to Alan Wake more than anything since living shadows aren't really a new idea in the slightest
Hmmm, with all the chanting and such, I thought it was going to be about human, errr, pony sacrifice.
Oh, man, Fluttershy is reading this?
Does Rarity assume that Edger is gay because of
or is there something I missed a bit earlier?
I ask because of the rather long tangent she goes off on this assumption.
3889585 Not really; she simply makes the assumption that he is gay and then mentions about finding a stallion in Ponyville to strike his fancy. He doesn't correct her. I wanted it to be something that was mentioned but not drawn out, as though it were no big deal.
My personal preference is for horror which builds-up logically to the fate of the characters (whether or not they survive). The characters need not themselves know the logical reasons for what's happening to them, but the reader should, and the author had better know or he will craft a story which has no internal logic to it at all -- and this the reader will notice. One of the reasons I'm a major Lovecraft fan is that all of his longer works were highly-logical, and often utterly-terrifying in the logical conclusions to which they came.
3889611 Now remember, this phrase is the author in the story describing his philosophy of horror - hence, the story "The Offering" was simply en event that happened to a stallion which offered no true resolution to the reader in that universe. I imagine that in the Equestrian society, such a story would be very unnerving. The stories that I am writing in this universe, however, are all going to be as one long arc.
Now see, that's the problem with precognition. One never knows to whom the prophecy refers, or where one may not meet them.
Oh, damn you. I just realized the significance of this ...
Yeah, Rarity, I don't think he'll like those pants ...
Oh, nasty. Poor Pinkie. Poor Fluttershy. Poor freakin everyone.
Oh, and Script. You put it right out there in front of me, and I missed it.
Now that you've explained what's going on, I have a problem with two of your chosen victims. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie both have powerful defenses against semi-real creatures. Fluttershy has the Stare, which would probably straight-out destroy a sending; and Pinkie Pie is a Reality Warper, which means that she can dispel illusory or semi-real things. In other words, I think you've picked two of the three Mane Six least likely to be vulnerable to the attacks: Applejack, Rarity or Rainbow Dash would have been more vulnerable, because they don't have those kinds of psychic defense. (Twilight's just too powerful).
I liked this story. My one gripe I expressed: that Fluttershy and Pinkie would actually be among the three most powerful members of the Mane Six against the described threat, rather than the weakest. I think those two often get underestimated because they are, respectively, shy and goofy.
Your concept of Tiller as being able to summon shadows from dreams into reality was a very interesting one. Characterization was good. Script as Tiller's treacherous friend was a very effective surprise. I'm guessing he's some sort of black magician connected to the cult. I'm also guessing he has some longer-term purpose. (Ever seen In the Mouth of Madness -- that's obviously how Tiller's power could be misdirected).
Indeed, Rainbow Dash would not take any kind of romantic rejection well -- especially if there was serious involvement before the rejection. I notice that you seem to be some kind of Twilight/Luna shipper -- at least friendshipper. I've always thought the show should do more with the two of them together.
Larger issue: shouldn't Celestia and Luna be concerned about what's going on in Flatts? Among other things, the town seems to be dominated by a violent and insane cult which is devoted to their overthrow. I'm guessing that they would at least send investigators. (Sounds like a Call of Cthulhu scenario!)
Will read the sequels.
Rarity playing with the ponnequins like dolls is adorable.
The chance meeting with caramel was cute as well. Looks like his reputation preceeds him!
The thing that got a
from me is Luna's stance on religion and the 'lesser gods'. What was he blaspheming against?
You can has review!