My sweet belle
Sweetie belle stormed into her house, slamming the door behind her in rage, “OOOOOHHHH! That stupid Rarity, ‘Sweetie belle, go home and never come back. I don't want to see you again,’ Well...Well maybe I never I see you again, UNsister,” she yelled out loud at nopony in particular. She so much wanted to vent at somepony about the argument that she and her sister have had on that day, anypony at all. Looking around the empty house, all she could do was scream in rage at the air. Walking around her small house, she began to do some small kicking of random objects as she grumbled small obscenities to herself. Pacing back and forth, she continued to growl and yell at everything that could listen before looking at a picture of her and Rarity. Turning her head with a humph, she opened the door and walked out of the house.
Walking through the busy streets of the marketplace did little to cure Sweeite Belle’s mood. Scootaloo was stuck in bed with a cold and listening to a story by Rainbow Dash and Applebloom was visiting her cousin in Manehatten. In short, her day was shaping up to become worse than when it started. Taking a long deep sigh, she continued to walk through the streets, sulking and grumbling to herself, “Stupid sister. Why does she keep treating me like that,” she kicked a small stone in agner and watched it roll, “Treating me like I don't even extist, like I was one of her worthless dummies. ARRRRRGH! Does she even care about me?”
“WOAH THERE SUGARCUBE,” A southern voice said as she swerved out of the way of the sulking white filly, “What’s got you in such a sour mood today?”
Looking up at Applejack with sad green eyes, Sweetie belle said in a down tone, “Oh hey Applejack. Nothing has me in a bad mood, nothing,” She sniffed a little, “At all.”
“Now, don't ya be giving me that,” Applejack said, her head crooked in disbelief, “You look sadder than a flower without any rain. Now what is bothern ya?”
Sweetie Belle sighed, there was no getting anything by Applejack, “Rarity.”
“Oh what has she done now?”
“I don't really want to talk about it. You probably don't even want to hear about it,” Sweetie Belle said, sulking.
“Now that aint true, Sweetie. Ah would love to lend an ear to your problems,” Applejack then nudged her head to the Ice cream stall a few feet away, “Come on, we’ll talk about it over ice cream.”
Happily nodding, the promise of ice cream seemed to brighten Sweetie Belle’s mood just a little.
____________________
“So there Rarity was, working on this wonderful new dress that she said was for a client,” Sweetie belle began as she and Applejack sat on a bench in a park, eating their ice cream, “ And I thought that I could help fix this one little seam that was out of place for her. Well, I tried and accidentally made a small hole in it. I tried my best to fix that and soon I had just mangled her dress.”
“Well, sugarcube, ya know you aint supposed to be touching her stuff without permission,” Applejack said.
“I KNOW!” Sweetie yelled, “I...I just wanted to do something really special for her to show how much I cared for her.I didnt want to slip up like I did,” she then sniffled a little bit as the memory of the fight came back into her head, “Then when she told me to stop helping her so much, we began a huge argument. I told her that ‘maybe I wouldnt if you gave me more to do or started treating me like I was here’ and then she said, ‘Of course I treat you like you are there. I do try to spend time with you.’ I then yelled “No you don't, you never spend any time with me at all. All you ever do is make dresses or focus on being dressed up. No matter what, you still find ways to treat me like an object. Maybe these dummies should be your sister instead!’ We kept on fighting until I insulted her entire career and then she told me to leave and never come back.”
“Aw, don't worry about it none Sweetie. Ahm sure she was just upset and didnt mean any of it,” Applejack said, rubbing the little filly’s back.
“Its just,” She sniffled a little, “Even after everything we’ve done together...I wonder if she even cares for me at all.”
“Now don't go saying that Sugarcube, you’re one of the most important things in her life. Ah should know, Ah saw how she acted when you were born.”
“You did,” Sweetie Belle asked curious about this.
“Let me tell you about it.”
____________________
You see, Ah didnt interact with Rarity all that much before we became the friends that we are, but Ah did sometimes see her walking to her home from the marketplace and would sometimes talk to her. One day, just before you were born, I saw Rarity walking outside mumbling and grumblin to herself, “Blue, no no it might clash with her coat color. Pink, oh but what if she decides to be more tomboyish in time.”
Ah was curious so Ah walked over to her, “Rarity what are you talkin to yourself about over there?”
“Oh, hello Applejack,” She said turning to me with a bunch of fancy fabric on her, “ I was just looking for some fabric to make a dress for my little sister.”
Ah had struck Rarity with a weird look, “How do ya know you are getting a sister? For months maw and paw thought Ah was gonna be a boy when Ah came out.”
“Because, Applejack, a sister just knows these things. She will be a lovely little filly,” She then struck a dramatic pose, “That I will train and craft into my own little mirror image!”
Ah made a small shudder at the thought of two of them out there.
“ Now if I can just find the right dress,” She said, looking at some of the other fabric.
“You know Rarity,” Ah never talked to her much, but Ah also figured a first time big sister might need some help, “It might be a little better if ya went and got her something she could keep for a little while longer. Babies can grow out of things pretty dang quick you know.”
“Oh I know, but getting her a dress...” She then happened to look over to her side at an alleyway, “My word, how horrid.”
Ah watched her walk over to the alley and pick something up with her magic, “ What is it?”
She then came back with a torn teddy bear with a missin eye, “Look at this, just look at this! How could someone just carelessly throw away something so cute and adorable as this.”
“Because its raggidy and messed up?”
“Oh, its not too raggedy. I bet if one were to just touch it up and,” Rarity’s eyes then shot up, “IDEA!!! If you’ll excuse me Applejack,” she then hightailed it out of there and then back home.
A few days later, Ah saw her walking back with a little extra somethin inside her saddle bag, “ Hey there Rarity. Who’s your little friend?”
“Oh this? This is Button, I made him for my little sister out of that little bear I found a few days ago,” Ah took a good look at that little brown bear and you couldnt even tell he was broken.
______________________________________
“WAIT! That’s where button came from,” Sweetie Belle said, looking shocked, “But I always thought that mom...”
“Nope, it was all Rarity’s hard work that fixed the little bear. She wanted to make sure you had the best gift she could give ya,” Applejack said, smiling.
Sweetie looked down at the ground, feeling down about yelling at her sister, “Go on, continue with the story.”
“Sure thang, sugarcube. Well, Ah needed to walk by Rarity’s house anyway so I walked with her...”
______________________________
Me and Rarity were walking through the town, getting closer to her house when we both saw a hospital wagon waiting right outside. Worried, she ran as fast as she could to where it wa and watched as the guys carried your maw away as she was screaming her head off, “What’s going on? Why are they taking her away, Why is she screaming” Rarity looked toward your dad with tears in her eyes, “ Father, what happened to...to”
“There was some sort of accident at the house and it caused her to go into labor,” yer dad said, holding back tears.
“But she can't! She’s only 8 months along, my Sweetie’s not supposed to come out yet,” Rarity said, unable to stop crying.
“Don’t you worry none, its going to be alright Rare-bear,” yer dad then gave a comfort nuzzle to her as he led her down the street to the hospital, “These doctors will be their best to make sure both of them are ok.”
Seeing all of that brought back some mighty painful memories of how my own maw died protecting Applebloom so Ah had to ask if I could come and lend a shoulder to cry on.
A few hours later felt like days in that cold hospital room as we waited for any news about yer mama. Soon, the doc had come in with the new that your mama was all right and perking up a little. You, on the other hoof, weren’t. See, since ya was a premie you had to be quickly sent to an, oh what did they call them dang spells, oh...yeah. An Isolette spell chamber so you could get healed up. Rarity and your dad then quickly ran to where you were so they could check up on you and at least see you. You should’ve seen your dad smile at seeing you lay in that thing, breathing so softly. Your sis wasn't doing any differently, was getting close to crying as she watched you. Of course I wasn't allowed in, but I did watch from a distance and then saw your dad leave so he could check up on your mama. That’s when I overheard Rarity, “ Hello, sweetie. You probably can't hear me right now, but...this is your big sister Rarity. I...I am sorry you had to see me like this, I can understand I must be a wreck. But, I had to come a bit early to see you and to give you a proper greeting,” She leaned in real close to your little box, “Welcome to Equestria, my little sweetie. I hope that you like it here,” Using her magic, she lifted up Button and waved it in front of you, “This is your welcome home gift, a teddy bear that I helped to make beautiful. Just...like you will be lovely soon. I promise you that. Would you like that, Sweetie? For your big sister to help make you lovely everyday? Because I’ll do it, I’ll try and make every day your special day, because you...are my most precious gem,” She then kissed your box and whispered three little words before walking back to me.
“Ya know, Rarity? My maw said that fillies are gifts from Celestia, personally though...I think that little siblings, are personal gifts from ya mom and dad,” Ah said, helping to lead Rarity out.
She looked at me with tears in her eyes as she nodded softly, “They even gift wrapped her.”
Now Rarity told me a lot about this next part, so most of this came from her.
A few weeks past by quickly around the town, and your sister made dang sure to visit every single day that she could. Heck, she would even take the time to read to ya while you laid there. Sometimes she would sing to ya or show you certain outfits that she had made. Then one day, she was a little late getting to the hospital and found your box empty, “Where is she,” Rarity ran quickly to the doctor, “Doctor, where is she? Where is my baby sister?”
“Oh, she was fine enough for us to hand her back to her mother, so she...” The doctor barely had time to finish when your sister ran off at high speeds to your maw’s room. She told me that she was dang near cryin at seeing you laying there next to mom and dad with some balloons. She walked slowly to you and nuzzled your little nose as she said, “Welcome home.” You then yawned softly in response.
“Aww, would you listen to that there, she is so cute huh,” Yer mom said.
“Yes,” Rarity said, not taking her eyes off ya, “She is such a Sweeite.”
“A perfect name for her, our little Sweetie Belle.”
She also told me about the night that you were about to leave for home when she visited you one day. She saw that you were fussing up a little storm in your crib and didnt look none too happy about staying there. Well, she walked over to you, nuzzled you softly and said, “Shhh, its all right Sweetie, your sister’s here.
Ya then fell asleep in your little crib as Rarity kissed you goodnight, “Thank you, for this gem...I cherish her always.”
Sweetie Belle looked down as she heard this story, tears coming to her eyes as Applejack finished her story, “So you see Sugarcube, you mean more to Rarity than anything. Don't you ever think that she doesn't care about you, because she does care. Its just that she tends to get caught up in all of her work that she forgets to tell you that. But you know what? I don't think she thinks she ever needs to tell ya how much she loves ya.”
“Excuse me,” Sweetie Belle said as she wiped a tear from her eye with her white hoof, “I need to go home,” getting off the bench, she turned and ran off to Carosel Boutique. Rarity was inside at that moment, working very hard on sewing her lastest dress when Sweetie Belle came in and opened the door.
“Sweetie Belle! I thought I,” Rarit was quickly interrupted when Sweetie Belle wrapped her fore legs around Rarity in a big hug, holding tight, “No Sweetie Belle, I am still mad at you I-”
Sweetie Belle nuzzled her head into Rarity’s neck, “I love you.”
A smile came across Rarity’s face as she rubbed Sweetie Belle’s head, holding her back, “I guess I’ll be mad at you tommorrow. Lets go out tonight hmmm?”
“Sure...but can I stay like this for a little bit more?”
“Yes you may, my little sweetie.”
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I'm a sucker for sister bonding fics, though you are missing a certain set of sisters... ones of the Royal variety perhaps...
2398722
Shoot, you're right...I almost forgot Cadence and Luna
I kid, I have got to do something with Tia and Luna at one point
2398738
I know, Cadence and Twilight might be something to do as well. I hope you do, too many fics that have them at each other's throats (when it's not the Long Night) and not enough with them as sisters.
"did little to cure Sweeite Belle’s mood." sweetie*
“Treating me like I don't even extist" exist*
".I didnt want to slip up like I did,” didn't*
"‘maybe I wouldnt if you gave me more to do" wouldn't*
"she ran as fast as she could to where it wa and watched" was *
"Why is she screaming” question mark
“These doctors will be their best to make sure both of them are ok.” do their best is better in this situation
"the doc had come in with the new that your mama " news*
“She is such a Sweeite.” again sweetie*
"Of a ever loving moon" an * but its a song so its okay
"I cherish her always.” I'll or I will
Sweet story
Diabeetus. That is all.
Really cute story.
That was just too cute.
Might that be 'hoof'?
This review brought to you by Authors Helping Authors!
Story: My Sweet Belle by Alchemystudent
Grammar score: 6.5/10. 2398885 already pointed out most of them. I'll also mention AJ referring to Sweetie Belle's "maw," as being an _interesting_ choice.
Pros: Nice characterizations. All three ponies seem very in character to the show
The lullaby was super cute and surprisingly deep
AJ's accent: except for the 'maw' thing, you managed to make her voice unique without making her unreadable. It's a tough needle to thread; you have my compliments.
Expert targeting of feels: I'm also a sucker for these things, but you do a great job with the emotions.
Cons: Some weird pronoun use in the first paragraph. Even though everything is done by Sweetie Belle, I had to read it twice to follow. A few 'white unicorns' or epithets would have helped.
Some formatting, punctuation and spelling error: more than would usually go uncommented on this site; definitely befriend a grammarian as soon as you can find one.
There were also a few places where your writing style came across as somewhat weak. (again, first couple of paragraphs; could use some more description of settings; and if the whole story is being told by AJ then it's okay to make her a more descriptive and literary pony than she would normally be)
Notes: On writing style:
There are two aspects here. The first is writing in a way that is engaging and interesting, which includes things like show vs. tell, symbolism, pacing of sentences, voice, etc. You don't make a lot of major style mistakes like overuse of passive voice or changing tenses, so I won't say your style is bad. I will say that to improve as a writer, you need to focus mostly on this stuff. You're good, but you could be better. And learning to make each sentence count is where I would suggest you focus on next.
(You do, however, seem to be suffering from the inverse of Lavender Unicorn Syndrome; which is based on bad advice in the first place. For more info, see here.)
The second aspect is writing in a way that I, the reader, know that Alchemystudent wrote this without seeing the the author credit. This is where you want to be at the end. This is the mountaintop to aim for.
Thank for your wonderful story, and I hope you like your review! Don't feel pressured to review my story Princess of the Night, as I already got a few, but a view and comment would be nice! (and I am now following you)
2398764 They are sisters-in-law, and have quite a bit of history to boot...
I tried to address that once, but need to go back and do it well next time.
2401971
What? Twilight and Cadence sisterly bonding or the Long Night?
2401987 Twi and Cadance
I'm not familiar with the Long Night (in pony context). Should I be?
2402031
Ah...
The Long Night is the term I use to indicate the time period in which Nightmare Moon ruled Equestria after ousting Celestia to when she is banished. It can be used interchangeably with the War of Eternal Night.
2402049 I see. Well that makes sense then, I just haven't heard the term used much.
2402097
Neither have I which kind of why I made it up my self
Finally got around to reading this one.
This was a very adorable little "Slice of Life" fic. I love sister-bonding stories, and this was no exception! However, I do want to offer constructive critique here. While this is a good story, it definitely needs an editor--there are a lot of grammar/punctuation/formatting mistakes that can be cleaned up. The content, however, is lovely, and I especially enjoyed Rarity's lullaby.
Keeping in my favs nonetheless.
2526358
Thank you so much for the comment. YEah, I could've used an editor, been seeing that more and more that I work better when I have someone to hold in my mistakes.
D'aw, so sweet...
This story should be made canon.
Great job.
2530397
Thank you, I try
2555858
It should and I want it to be...but DHX wont return my calls
Da sister feels
Another story you made me have liquid pride on
I'm not crying, I'm not crying! Okay I am! It's just to sweet!! 
This has been approved for the Sibling Story Stockpile.
This has officially been approved by 'Family Bonds'
Ain't that a cute little fic?
2398722
Perhaps you'll like my 'We're Sisters!!!!' story. It is a sister story too.