After being reformed by the Mane Six, Discord is having a difficult time adjusting to his new lifestyle, due in no small part to that fact that Princess Celestia still doesn't seem to trust him. Luna, who is able to relate personally to Discord's internal struggle, allows him to travel abroad in an attempt to make amends, asking, in return, that he keep her updated on his discoveries concerning friendship. Post-Reformation Discord, rated T for the possibility of some light sauciness in later chapters. Also, a bit of shipping between several background characters, such as Lyra and Bon Bon.
Chapters (4)
This has loads of promise. I look forward to seeing where it goes. Discord's characterisation is spot on. Reformed, but still mischievous, and with emotional depth beneath that.
The only issue I see so far is that viewpoints tend to switch quite a lot, which is a little disconcerting. It would read better, I think, if you stuck with only one viewpoint character in each section.
I laughed a whole lot when Discord made the Twilight Sparkle joke, I know that this is gonna be a great fanfic
MOAR
My only complaint is that it looks like Discord being a badass seems to have decayed.
love. i dont know why but for some reason i imagine discord walking through ponyville with his sunglasses on going "deal with it"
Should be "Your work here is done, gentlemen." And even then, it should be a variant of "ponies" or "colts" instead of "men".
Well this chapter didn't seem bland to me at least, was a nice read. I be looking forward for the updates, speaking of updates, I got the second chapter to read now.
Hmmmm... this story has potential. I shall await further developments before giving a more in-depth comment, but so far, I approve.
2334807
That was a typo, sorry. The word 'work' got deleted on accident.
I would think Discord would enjoy some drollness.
I am thoroughly enjoying this! It's a bit of a dangerous story, but you're pulling it off wonderfully!
Have a like, a fave and a moustache!
2330897
The viewpoint switching is disconcerting? Do you not like the chaotic nature of it?
hmmm. let me guess pinkie pie? :P
natually theyd be attracted to one another! XD
ok i love PinkieXDiscord
but even i know it will probilly not go well! XD
still hope to see the new chapter soon! :D
I love everything about this story. You capture discord perfectly, almost as if de Lancie himself wrote this. Just curious, will you use Scewball in this?
Shows promise...... and is one of the few works that seems to capture Discord's personality.... Uncle Delmon approves!
2335228 Don't change it, it works.
Like....Whiskey?
2337577
I'm still debating whether Screwball will make an appearance. If she does, it'll probably just be a little cameo. The fact is that we know virtually nothing about that pony, and I really want to keep this story something that would make sense as an actual episode, though with some slightly more adult themes than usual. Throwing in an enigma like Screwball would be a little tricky to pull off, but I'll probably work her in eventually.
2339067 I see. Well perhaps she could be like a little orphan filly without any friends that Discord helps out and leaves a lasting impression. You're story though bro, so do what ever you want
Very nice.
I'm not sure that the whole town would open up to Discord that fast, but I guess there's still room for naysayers who might try to run Discord out of town later. You capture the feel of the show quite well, but it is important to create some overarcing tension and conflict, even if the story is light-hearted.
While I'm not a big fan of background shipping, it tends to be superflous and occasionally a bit jarring, you've handled it quite well, using it to contribute to the story without shifting the focus away from the main plot.
I can't wait for another chapter.
2339067 I just have her as a cartoon loving pony that runs the joke shop. She just became altered a bit because of Discord. And one nice thing about her, or really any of the background ponies, or for that matter most of the blind bag ponies is sense we don't know much we can just make up whatever we want.
This is a story that could either be really good or fail miserbly
But sounds interesting so I will put this in my read later
You have no idea how long I have been looking for a fic about this topic, and now I finally have the writing is...
Perfect.
Seriously, keep this up, it's fantastic, especially Discord's characterisation.
now I can't wait for him to get excited
It's rare that I can tell greatness from a chapter alone.
Not impossible, of course. Just EXTREMELY unlikely.
Discord is amazing. I can HEAR John de Lancie. That's incredible.
yeah! Discord working cheerliee and Twilight! hes such a player right now! >:3
wouldent be surporised if he left with a girlfirend by the time he got back to canterlot
cant wait for the next chapter! it is killing me that Fluttershy is next! X3 and im sure it will be shipped here too lol XD
i love PinkieXDiscord! but that ship is cute too X3
but yeah ill be waiting for the next chapter X3
A monocle for this story!
Heh heh heh.
Well, I've put this off long enough:
RED ANGEL SEAL OF APPROVAL
This is Brilliant. It really is. I was laughing my flank off, and yet, smiling at the clever humour.
I also support Discord x Luna, though it is of course, your fic.
Keep up the good work, I beg thee!
So much yes.
Awesomesauce! Love the idea! It's like Echo the Diamond Dog but with Discord!
NOOOOOOOOO PLEAAAASEEE NOT THE SHIPPING!!!!...but seriously I get the whole friendship growing closer but please dont turn it into some all out romance...I like the focus as finding friendship in the unlikeliest of ponies
it is a great story so far but i just wanted to say one thing COTTEN CANDY CLOUDS WITH CHOCALATE MILK RAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2342567
As of right now, this isn't planned to be a romance story. Most of the shipping will be exclusively between the background ponies. I assure you, the whole dancing scene was purely based on friendship... well, at least on Discord's end. Cheerilee and Twilight could've had all sorts of naughty thoughts going on for all I know.
2342213
I'm just saying, if anyone wants to make a picture to go along with that, I'd be thrilled.
Don't like it. Sorry.
I am unfortunately the type destined to eternally be in the disliking-minority regarding a number of things, it would seem, and this story seems to be one of them. It being a personal pet peeve when someone doesn't say why they don't like a story, I'll get into that (in rant form, apologies). But first, I will say, the writing (in terms of grammar and syntax and such) is fine. I never saw any real notable issues. It's the story conflict and plot I found just kind of... eeeeeeeeeeh.
Celestia, the one who initiated his redemption in possibly one of the most trusting, over-optimistic moves ever, is the most suspicious one? That seems strange. And she appears to be doing a lot of things that would hamper the odds of success of her own plan--limiting Discord's range of freedom, stopping him from going to Ponyville to see his, you know, only friend (odd he still hasn't gone to see Fluttershy, on that note), not announcing the redemption plan anywhere, relying on Discord behaving without any real ability to stop misbehavior despite clearly not trusting him... etc... just seems like this would be an all-or-nothing sort of plan, you know? Not the sort of thing you could try with reservations.
Luna being his immediate friend... sort of makes sense, but not too much. They are both immortal, and both are theoretically being redeemed, but Luna had more of an emotional reason and seemed to be magically corrupted, while Discord has more of an existential conflict with peaceful existence. He doesn't really have a goal, and his problems with fitting in are much more deep-set; thus, I don't really feel the "kindred spirit" angle here. Again, it kind of works, just... crudely. Though both the line about the moon and the line about Discord intending to keep Celestia and Luna as friends struck me firmly as creepy as opposed to charming. Discord also came off in that first chapter as kind of forcibly relatable, being a bit too immediately nice, remorseful about actions, and, of course, being meditative. Which just feels weird. And... I mean, he just assumed he wasn't meant to have friends? He didn't try? He never even forcibly made fake-friends with like mind control or something?
Discord seems to keep randomly switching between still being kind of snarky and not-really-accepting of the whole "friendship," idea, and being nervous about and overly-serious about the idea of redeeming himself publicly. And, again, him being a charismatic immortal, him being nervous and afraid of rejection feels somewhat... strange. It could work, but I don't feel it did as presented. It felt a bit too sudden-onset, especially since (if Celestia's been keeping him cooped up, not announced his reformation publicly, and the like) he'd probably be wearing off the "I gained a friend!" good feels and becoming more bitter and suspicious about the whole idea. Again. Him feeling guilty about everything suddenly also gave me the terrible suspicion he was lying to the crowd before I remembered what the story was about, simply because I don't feel his more negative attributes would have healed so quickly, a lack of regard for others being the top one.
And, regarding this last chapter; everypony accepts him being good without a single one of them demanding any sort of proof or effort to make up for prior mistakes on basis of a single emotional speech? Well, he's an immortal. Who was really charismatic. If they all swing to complete forgiveness--and supposedly, friendship--just from a speech, despite him doing real damage and being sincerely somewhat sociopathic, if not evil, they'd be kind of... dumb. I mean. I'm pretty sure he could have faked it. I'm just saying, dude's immortal. If anyone could act insanely well just to mess with people (and would), it'd be Discord, and even if in this story it isn't, I can't help but feel one of the ponies would have such suspicions.
I dunno. I get what you were going for, but I don't feel you pulled it off with what you went with. Discord feels off-character, conflict seems a bit contrived or settled too easily, and the whole thing is based around an episode where the base premise, conflict, and conflict resolution all felt kind of rushed and illogical.
Though, clearly, other people are loving this, so... Yeaaaaaaaaaah...
Personal dislike aside, I can see the appeal. Even if I disagree with it enough to write out an admittedly somewhat pointless rant. Hopefully it strikes as more constructive than flow-breaking, but there it is. With that, I creep away to my dark lair, where I will write pretentious things about cynical philosophy.
Gah, a text wall criticism comment feels horribly distasteful.
Apologies.
Well, since I want 50 more chapters, can I comment 50 times to get them? Or do you need a few per chapter? Maybe 500 comments?
2342632 I shall try, but I make no promises...
Wow, expected a totally different type of party changing by Discord. Something where a techno dj would be more in place. But that is what would have been expected, so he was being very chaotic by being somewhat refined.... well played
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loved this chapter.
Let the Chaos BEGIN!
Woo, light background shipping! More... Oh, you know me. I'm a shipper. Don't make it a romance if you don't want to.
Fantastic work anyway. I was sniffling at discord's confession.
...FIMFiction, Y U No have Discord emote?
i loved it
i loved the idea of discord warped room, the only place as chaotic as dicord.
and "sir discord" apology
its great
5 out of 5 moustaches
This is definitely one of the site's best stories. I'm happy to have found it.
Hope you are going to trash that idea of shipping again, that's for another story.
This prologue intrigues me... I shall continue reading this.
moore claptures plocks