Chapter 1 - What Do You Mean There's No Roasted Chicken!?
I've had some rough nights, you know, but none compare to what happened last night. I can't even believe I did such a thing. Now where am I? I don't even know, man. I don't even have the strength to open my eyes and my brain can barely process the thought that I'm alive at the moment.
I hear muttering, or so I think. A void of white is sucking me into it, bringing me to life in a different world, where I might be persecuted for my looks and actions. I will not have an army, I will not have any followers, and worst of all, I will not have an arch nemesis. I think my soul, once lost and confused, has finally made it's way toward my beaten body and has laid down on it. ...Dang. I didn't know I could be so poetic. I sure do have a lot of unspent talent.
"What do you suppose it is?" I hear. I can't see worth a dang, but I sure hear the scared tone. Why do I have to be so ugly?
I grunt. Then, I hear two or three gasps in crowd as I twitch my eyes. I still can't see, and when I try to open my eyes, the light from the sun burns my pupils. I groan and cover my eyes with my hand.
"It's moving!" A squeaky voice shouts. Okay, yes. I move. I have a body that lives. Thank you for stating the obvious, you incompetent mouse.
And so, I peek, and let my eyes adjust to the bright sunlight. I notice that I'm on a soft field of grass, surrounded by trees and bushes. I try to look up, but the sun is still too bright. All I can make out is two beings that are the colors purple and pink.
"Arrgh... where the heck..." I mutter to myself. My eyes finally get a hold of my full surroundings, and gosh darn it, I'm still hungry. No lunch equals no life.
"Stand back, Fluttershy. We don't know what this thing can do." The purple being said. When I finally make out their entire being, I rub my eyes to make sure I'm not dreaming.
"...What. The heck. Are you a talking, purple pony or am I just so hungry I'm hallucinating?" I ask.
"H-He's hungry! He's gonna eat us!" The yellow pony screamed. What? Why would I eat this... thing. I bet it tastes like raw chicken anyway.
"What? Nonononono. I don't wanna eat you. I just wanna know where the heck I am!" I say, climbing my way to stand up.
"This is Equestria, land of magic and friendship. We ponies live here. Who are you?" the purple pony asks, lifting an eyebrow and readying her... horn. I completely ignore her question.
"Magic... and... friendship." I say, stunned. "I think I'munna go right back to sleep on this soft grass here and all will be happy-hickory-smoked-sausage when I wake up."
"Oh no you don't!" the purple pony says. "You're going to answer my question. Who on Equestria are you!?"
"Well, missy, if you MUST know, I am Bowser, King of the Koopas!" I say, but then I remember that my followers are no longer with me and I hang my head low in depression. "Or at least, I was, until that stupid demon banished me here."
The two ponies let down their guard. "Demon? What demon?"
"This lame purple one called "The Shadow Queen". She mind-controlled the princess I was trying to steal back and banished me here for refusing to serve her. My planet is totally screwed."
"Oh. I... I had no idea. I thought you were a threat, judging by your spiked shell, horns and pointed teeth." The purple pony says. giiiirl, you got no idea of my capabilities. "My name's Twilight. Twilight Sparkle."
"A-and I'm... Fluttershy..." The yellow pony peeps. The cuteness is punching a hole through my chest. I may need surgery after this encounter.
"Cool. So, is there a place that I can stay at or what? I don't want to sleep on the streets. I learned that is not fun in Rogueport." I ask. It was indeed not fun. Stupid Mario and his Bowser-butt-kicking powers. The two ponies looked at each other with awkward looks.
"Uhh... you can stay at my library as long as your behavior is good." Twilight says. I totally expected her to say something different, but I'm gonna take what I can get!
"Aww, sweet. Any way I can check out the place now?" I ask confidently.
"Uh, sure! Just follow me!"
It is totally friggin' awkward to walk through this town. Legitimately, every single pony here is just staring at me as I walk by. What am I even feeling awkward for, though? I'm BOWSER. If I can't take over my own world, I'll slowly plan to take over this one! HAH! These guys wont even know what hit 'em after this chunk of handsomeness takes over. I'm gonna be living with this Twilight Spiffle or whatever her name is for a while, but all will be good in the end, I know it.
So we come across this tree, and Twilight claims it to be a library. At first I was like "no way", but then we entered a door and my mouth dropped. This library was in a tree, and it is HUGE. Like, holy nuts huge! But then begs the question: Who makes a library out of a tree? I dunno, but this town needs an evil castle lair. It's too happy.
"Oh, Spiiiike! We have a visitor!" Twilight shouts. Suddenly, I see a small lizard thing emerge from upstairs.
"Oh, boy, who is-- woah!" Spike says, freezing in place. "Twilight! He's huge!"
"Yep. His name's Bowser. I found him unconscious out near Everfree forest. He'll be staying with us for a little while." Twilight says. What the heck. Stupid pony, not letting me do my epic Bowser introduction.
"So, this is the place, huh? Not too shabby, not too shabby. Could use some spiked ball 'n chain, though. A lot more grey as well. Maybe some brick." I comment, rubbing my chin.
"Dang. What kind of place did you live in?" Spike asks, rubbing his head.
"A castle, surrounded by lava and hundreds of guards. I am a king on my home planet, you know." I say, crossing my arms. I can tell neither Spike or Twilight are buying it.
"Right. Well, it is sunset, and I must write a letter to the princess about your arrival." Twilight says, heading over to a desk. I open my eyes widely.
"A... A princess?" I ask as I follow Twilight. "Tell me more, now!"
"Well, if you want to know, her name is Princess Celestia. She rules over these lands. I swear, without her, this land would be a mess." Twilight continues to say.
"I see." I say as I put my hand on my chin. Heh heh. Woohoo! It ain't over for Bowser yet! This land has a princess, baby, and an important one, too. When I have time, I'm gonna do what I do best: kidnap the princess. Oh, man, this is GOLDEN. But how am I going to do that? Bah, I'll save that problem for later. "Is there any way I can meet her?"
Twilight pauses. "Umm... maybe? I mean if she wants to meet you, I suppose, sure! I bet she might want to anyway."
"YES! Err... I mean... It'll be an honor to meet her! Yeah."
"Spike, send this letter, I think she will want to write back right away." Twilight says.
"On it!" The midget lizard replies as he... breathes fire on the letter... and it gets... sent... what!? What really catches me, though, is that he can breathe fire. That's pretty chill.
"Woah, hey, you can breathe fire, too, little dude. Not bad. Nice knowing I'm not the ONLY fire breathing monster around here. Watch THIS, kiddo!" I say as I stance myself. I then point my head up and concentrate. Spike, the little twerp, is watching me anxiously, waiting for something amazing to happen. Twilight is also staring at me, but with a more confused look.
Suddenly, I shoot up a gigantic orange and red flame. It stays up for maybe five seconds before I run out of breath and stop. I then begin to hear small hands clapping together and I put a smug look on my face.
"Thank you, thank you!" I say as I bow. Twilight is hilariously paralyzed with this horrified expression on her face like a truck ran through her house or something. Well, to be fair I just breathed fire, so yeah.
"If you would please be so kind as to not BREATHE FIRE IN THE WOODEN TREE FULL OF EXOTIC BOOKS, THANK YOU." She suggests.
"Gwahaha! You're just jealous of my amazingness." I gloat.
"Amazingness isn't a word."
"I DON'T CARE."
Suddenly, I see Spike cover his mouth. Oh, no, he looks like he's about to hurl! ABANDON STANCE.
"Woah, face the other way!" I yell as he coughs up a... letter. So, I've come to the conclusion that Spike's only purpose is to be a living mailbox. Well, if it sounds stupid, but works, I guess it isn't stupid... right? I dunno. Spike then proceeds to open the letter and read it.
"...Oh, Twi! The princess says she needs to meet us up now and that she's on her way!"
Well isn't that convenient.
"What!? Oh, no! I don't have time to prepare for her arrival! Ugghhh, this place is an utter mess!" Twilight panics.
"Oh, don't be such a clean-cat. The princess is coming for me, not your stupid library." I respond with attitude. Spike then proceeds to smile.
"I like this guy's logic, Twi!" He says with a chuckle. Little twerp ain't half bad himself. I'll promote him up once I take over Equestria.
Before five minutes pass of Spike and I watching Twilight rushing around in a circle trying to dust every microbe in the library, the doorbell rings. She then drops what she's doing and gasps at the door.
"Oh, no, she's here already!" Twilight panics as she rushes toward the door. When she opens it, a bright flash of light hits my eyes. I can't see! I think I've been blinded by the magical friendship ray of evil-conquering doom.
"Princess Celestia! I-- I didn't know you were coming so quickly!" Twilight says as she bows. Spike soon joins her as well, but I sure ain't! I'm a bad rebel who don't take orders from nobody! Especially not to no flash of light. Eventually, however, I make out what the light was, and holy nuts do I wish I was blind. The amount of un-manliness in this pony is ungodly.
"Twilight, I am glad you sent that letter. I teleported here as soon as I could. Now, where is this 'Bowser' you claim to have taken in." She asks as she looks around. I gotta act real nice if I'm gonna have a shot at the whole "capturing the princess" thing.
"That would be me, your highness!" I say as I bow. Oh dang, I think I flattered her. On the road to victory. Yee-haw!
"You bow like a mare." Celestia comments. ...Is that good?
"Umm...er... cool?"
The rainbow-maned pony giggles. "Oh, I'm just being silly. So, Twilight says you claimed you're from another planet, is that not true?"
Couldn't resist bragging. "Oh, yeah! You know it, pretty princess! I'm Bowser, Righteous King of the Koopas! Hold your applause please, I know I'm amazing."
Celestia tilts her head at me. "You're a rather confident being. Tell me, what is a 'Koopa'?"
"Pshhht! Only the BEST army of followers on the planet! Or at least... my planet that is. We occasionally lost, but they all held true, because they knew my awesomeness could eventually lead them to victory."
"It sounds like you were quite the hero in your home land."
I look to my left and right nervously. "Yeah, uhh, sure. Let's go with that."
Celestia turns around to Twilight. She's not paying attention to me. This is it, I got her already! Just slowly inch toward her her... get my princess-grabbin' hands out...
"I apologize for the intrusion, Twilight, but I was worried when you said you took in such a strange creature. I'll be on my way now. Stay safe!" Celestia says as her horn begins to glow.
I've got her! She's MINE! Let's rock and roll! I pounce up, but in a flash of light, Celestia disappears. I grunt as I begin to crash toward the ground like a heavy rock and I slam my face into a large dictionary. Dang it! I was so close, too!
"Bowser? Are you okay?" Twilight asks as I lay on the ground.
"Well, I feel my nose is halfway through my mouth, but no, I'm fine." I muffle into the dictionary.
"How'd you even end up like that?"
"I tripped."
"You tripped three yards?"
"I jumped as I did."
"Well... alright." Twilight says as she looks to the window. "The suns down and it's officially night, so we best finish up the day."
My stomach suddenly roars at me, and I look down. It looks as if it is coughing and dying for food, and it hurts like heck.
"Can I at least get some food, first? I haven eaten all day!" I ask. Well, rather plead.
"Oh, sure. I know a good place down the road." She says as she warrants me to follow. "Be back in a bit, Spike."
I then follow her out the door, and I begin to think of schemes to capture the princess. I almost had her back there, and I won't stop until I get her! I may not have a following, but there sure is no Mario to stop me, this time. Gwahaha! This land is as good as mine... but for now I REALLY need some food.
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And now that he knows of Celestia... How many tries will he take to actually kidnap her?
~Skeeter The Lurker
3146939>>3146942 Dang it! You beat me to it!
3146942
Who are you and what have you done with Skeeter
3146952
... I know not what you speak of...
~Skeeter The Lurker
Bowser, there's a flaw on your plan: There is no Koopa Troop to assist you. lol
But great story, anyway!
3146997 Must. Resist. Spoiling. FUTURE THINGS. SO HARD.
We just need Bowser to be shipped with RD. Yes, I said that; it needs to happen.
The two never give up, they always complain when they lose, they love to brag about themselves and how great they are...
It's perfect!
3147002 Now I'm anxious!
3147009 Well, look forward to it, because this is my new main focus.
That summary. +1
3147059 I poured, like, half my jokes into the Prologue
IT'S TIME
3147097 SO MUCH TIME
3147100
ALL THE THYME
Only reading the prologue (beforehand… hue), and it gets my fav.
Oh, and:
3147165 Giiirl
3147187 Giiiiiiirl, wai dya no bustin' dem caps, yo?
That was perfect!
Is your Wario story in the same canon, can we expect Wario to show up? Crossover, engage!
...
What meat do they eat...?
3147141 no meat? if i were bowser, i would have to go to the cremation center!
Sweet.
3147309 Well, Know one spot where they have meat on the menu in the series...
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdx32hJ8bv1rn7ifko1_500.png So anything is possible I guess, Probably pig meat, I mean, why else would Applejack have pigs on the farm if it wasn't for what pigs are primarily used for?
3147435 Doesn't it matter, pig meat or not? Tofo, maybe? She also has pigs cuz they just need a place to live.
If this gets featured while I'm asleep someone screen cap it for me.
This story has many flaws...for one, its progressing way to fast. We just blew through the introductions of Bowser and ponies. Also, Princess Celestia (and Luna), unlike Princess Peach, are capable of defending themselves (Unless you include Super Princess Peach, then Peach is capable). Finally, how will Bowser survive without minions, a castle, and most importantly...meat??? Sooo many flaws...
(Favorite and Like)
3147543 A couple of those are solved later on actually.
3147547
But seriously, what if Bowser uses that old castle in the Everfree? What if he uses the Diamond Dogs (who, in mind, have no leader) as minions? And how will he react to seeing QUEEN Chrysalis? Sooo many ways this could go.
BUT... this has never been done before (as far as I know). I mean as in a 'Bowser in Equestria' story. Sooo.... I....erm...approve
3147566 So many things I wish I could say but so many spoilers
3147571 Question...since this is from The Thousand Year Old Door, is Bowser in 2d?
3147587 Rather, he's not paper anymore. Yes, he's from TTYD, but the universe is different and it's the same Bowser we all love so the animation style changed. Everything was paper in PM2, so when he transfered to a place that looks different, he changes, too.
3147703 Sombra would love the Mushroom Kingdom. He'd have a blast with all the Toads.
3146942 Bowser will probably stop after the frist time when he gets blasted by Luna or Celestia. A good strong magic bolt will make sure he knows his place. I'd be more concerned about what he might do in his spare time, especially if he starts craving meat.
3147740
You sure about that...?
~Skeeter The Lurker
3147598 3147740
Wait a second... Bowser is half-turtle, half-dragon right (Hence breathing fire)? Dragons are known for being the most magically resistant creatures ever.
Not so sure about that "Capable of defending herself" princess.
You know, I probably wouldn't have given this story a chance if it weren't for the Super Paper Mario cover art. I LOVE the Paper Mario series, and TTYD is my favorite game of all time, so since this comes off of an alternate ending of TTYD, I'm already hooked. Not to mention that if any other incarnation of Bowser (be it from the platformers or the party games, or what have you) this wouldn't be nearly as interesting. Bowser is so one-dimensional in the other games it's not even funny. But in the Paper Mario series, he has so much fun personality I love it. So the Paper Mario Bowser is in Equestria. Awesome premise. There are some grammar issues here and there, though, but I'm eager to see where this goes. Favoriting.
Man this is looking good
Bowser is spot on so far and I can't wait for him to try and make a move on the princesses.
I find it extremely disturbing that Twilight is so calm about someone commenting he could eat a sapient living being.
3149422 I'll fix that up soon. She was supposed to sound like she was confused about him wanting to eat meat, because they barely eat any.
3149422 Well, Griffons live on the same planet, as well as minotaurs, and they eat meat.
3150069 I know that but I imagine that at least while in Equestria they would be forbidden to eat sapient creatures like cows. They would probably be restricted to chicken and pig. Also technically griffins are supposed to eat horses. I don't think the mane six would be friend with Gilda or Gustave that easily if the griffins could just as easily kill their friends while they don't watch.
And on the subject of minotaurs I never understood why they would be more carnivore than humans. They are an hybrid race of a vegetarian animal with a human. If anything they should eat less meat than a human being.
3146942I am betting that his pathetic antics become so funny that they just let him repetively try and fail, kind of like Dr. Doofenshmirtz from Phineas and Ferb
3150104
The original Minotaur of Greek myth was a maneater. His father, King Minos, sent human sacrifices into his labyrinth for him to eat. So yes, Minotaurs are carnivores.
CHAPTER ONE IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION. This is due to my disapproval on how the fist chapter ended
Will be updates tomorrow. Instead of just ending it, Bowser will have a meeting with the Princess.
3146942 Nearly every story I've ever read, on at least every semi to largely popular author on this site, you are there. How do you do it?
3152572 I hired him to be my prereader this time.
Other than that he's a ninja
3152572
I am the omnipresent entity of FimFic.
No more, no less.
~Skeeter The Lurker
3147004 it's moronic.
This is beautiful. words can not describe the happiness that i am feeling!
I fixed the first chapter. It's unedited, but fixed. Much better. Read on,
3147097>>3147165>>3147244>>3147543