Zecora's Fruity Fracas
The sun shone brightly over the market in ponyville, where Zecora was doing her shopping. All sorts of high quality goods from the farmers of the area were displayed. She usually just came here for what she couldn’t get in the Everfree Forest. All sorts of brightly colored fruits attracted her eyes, but one in particular caught her gaze. The most delicious orange she had ever seen, ripe and juicy. A cruel joke, really, as she had had problems with these damnably delicious fruits before. She absolutely loved oranges, but could almost never have one. The shopmare looked off in a random direction, seeming completely unaware of Zecora’s presence.
‘Are you interested in buying any of these fruits?” the mare asked.
Zecora was quite stumped as how to do this. She eventually decided on simply grabbing a large pile of oranges and throwing them onto the counter without speaking, fearing that she may say that dreaded word.
“Uhm, sorry, but I’m going to need you to tell me what these are.” the shopmare said, turning towards her.
She was wearing black glasses, which tipped Zecora off that she was blind. This
was going to be more difficult than she thought. It also made her wonder how a blind shopkeeper kept track of her goods, most likely having to rely on the goodwill of others not to steal from the blind.
“These fruits have a peel, and make for quite a tasty meal.” Zecora said.
“Could you please just tell me what they are? I’m not in the mood for a riddle.” said the shopmare.
“That would prove most exacting, for I have quite an accent, and I am no good at adapting.”
“I’m afraid I can’t help you then, ma’am. Sorry.”
Zecora put the fruits back in defeat, and headed off. She stared at them with an incredible hunger, but controlled herself. She hung her head low, and walked off. She saw, however, a purple mare and dragon approaching out of the corner of her eye.
“Spike, do you have the list of everything we needed?”
“Right here.” he said, holding it.
Zecora looked at her, figuring maybe she could help.
“Oh, hello Zecora! What are you doing here?” Twilight asked.
“I am having a problem quite severe, in the act of purchasing a sphere.” Zecora responded.
“A sphere? What do you mean?”
Once more this problem presented itself. Her people’s word for the fruit was much easier to work with, but these ponies had to give it such a difficult name.
“I am afraid I cannot explain any more. To do so would prove a very difficult chore.”
“Sorry about that. Perhaps I could help?”
“How?” Spike asked her.
“Indeed, how would you do such a task, if I may ask?”
“I have all sorts of dictionaries, I could let you borrow one.”
Zecora’s eyes lit up, this was finally her chance. No longer would she be cursed with this terrible word.
“That would be very kind, and would help me purchase from the blind.”
As the three of them walked to her home, a slight grin appeared on Spike’s face.
“Hey Zecora, what color am I?” He asked.
“Do not tempt fate, or I shall be quite irate.” Zecora said, on to his scheme.
They arrived at the library, where Zecora began flipping through books. There it was, the rhyming dictionary. She looked at it in awe, a beautiful book. She flipped through it at blazing fast speeds, looking for orange. She arrived at the page and looked at it triumphantly, until she read below. The words no rhymes written below. She stared at the words, now fully aware of her situation. Unwilling to give up, she searched every single one in the library. She was down to the very last one, an old and dusty book hidden behind a large stack, not having been opened in ages. Losing hope, she slowly flipped it open, her face planted on the desk. Until she found it. “Sporange.1. A case, capsule, or container in which spores are produced by an organism.” She bolted out of the door, running as fast as she could to the market. The blind mare was waiting at her stall.
“I would like all of your oranges, and I learned a new word, sporanges.” Zecora said quickly and happily.
“Um, okay. That’s great, I guess. Here are your oranges.” the mare said, holding a large bag of oranges.
Zecora quickly threw a hoof full of bits onto the table, and ran off, with her treasure acquired. She greedily began eating them, her quest complete. It was at this point she realized she could have said orange mid-sentence, but she didn’t even care anymore. Spike approached her once more, holding a small necklace.
“Hey Zecora, what is this made of?” he asked.
“That trinket is made of silver, you-”
Zecora froze, dropping her bag of oranges. She was completely motionless, cursed by that dreaded word. She fell over, stunned, and collapsed into a heap on the ground.
“Um, Zecora, are you okay?” Spike asked.
She gave no response. Her mind could not grasp the concept of such a word being spoken. She slowly stood up, gathered her bag, and ran off, shaking. She headed towards the library once more, grabbed the rhyming dictionary, and headed upstairs.
"Twilight Sparkle, this wondrous book I simply cannot live without. I'm assuming you will let me keep it, without a doubt?"
"Sure, no problem." Twilight said absent mindedly, staring into a rather large book about the history of teleportation spells.
"Many thanks to you my friend, Surely, this book shall help me to no end."
Zecora left with the book, Twilight not even looking her way, still munching happily on her treasured oranges. Her journey to obtain the treasured fruit was complete, after all these years. Even if Twilight wasn't paying attention, surely she wouldn't mind, right?
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ORIGINAL IDEA DO NOT STEAL. *Sarcasm*
This is funny, man....frikkin hell....I got the giggles now. Dammit, I'm never getting to sleep, am I?
Putting orange into a rhyme isn't so hard,
'tis a secret known to any good bard.
If you wish to make poetry on the dime,
Just make sure orange isn't the word you rhyme.
2259161
I once had a succulent and ripe orange,
But alas! My nephew stuck it into my door hinge.
T'was a day of great rejoicing and terrible woe,
Because it was then I learned words that rhyme only have to flow.
Challenge completed.
cdn.hometheaterforum.com/c/cd/cd07a425_htf_imgcache_28060.jpeg
Edit: Needed more pomp and circumstance.
2258278
Ctrl A, Ctrl C, Ctrl V.
Muahahahahaha.
Well they all can't be rhymes.
Nice Idea for such an original story.
A funny little story about a zebra's worst foe,
A word that cannot be rhymed, no matter which way you go.
Although, a word to the wise on rhyming with silver:
A female lamb can be known as a chilver!
You know, she could've just used the name of the type of orange, such as satsuma, tangerine, or mandarin.
Why are all the little stories I write when I'm bored the ones everyone likes? Maybe I should stop thinking, it seems to work better.
Comet burst had it right about the orange's flow
But the rhymes so far have done nothing but blow
Let the primo chocolate pony show you how it goes
When he lets loose a rhyme that knocks you off your toes
Brosparkles: dilemma, not dillema. (di, two, plus lemma, something assumed true. Thus a choice between two incompatible assumptions.)
2259268
You really think orange sounds like or-inge? No no no no.
2260341
I do live in the Sunshine state
Where I have an orange tree outside my front gate.
Words can be hard to rhyme, like this vile foe
But there is more than one way to pronounce the word, you know.
Orange is two syllables. Or*ange. The A sound can be one of two ways, thanks to the inconsistency of the English language, making it either stressed or ignored. The stressed A has no rhyme, but the ignored A can be rhymed.
2260331
You mistake me, dear sir, for I just write for fun.
All I do is joke and make a silly pun.
You know, there's something I've always wondered about Zecora: does she make a conscious effort to rhyme, or is it habitual?
I mean, from this fic, one would have to assume the former, but that just begs the question... why?
The one I point to with hoof
you insidious doof.
Best character and best fruit? Here's my fav.
Zecora and Oranges are awesome. Hell, all citrus fruits are amazing in both taste and smell.
Dilemma*
2260341>>2260591 Thanks to both of you for pointing that out, it should be fixed now.
EDIT: Derp, still didn't fix it for weeks after I said i'd fixed it.
There is NOTHING in the English language that rhymes with orange or silver.
4689045
Sporange rhymes with orange.
Pilfer is an imperfect rhyme with silver.
4691634 Is sporange a real word?
4692741 Yes, it's the part of plants and fungi that forms spores.
4692741
Yeah, what Brosparkles said. The ninja.
4693550 static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Ninja+Brian_eb9ff0_4953220.jpg
4693595
Never link to Funnyjunk pictures. They don't allow hotlinking images.
btw, full pic of your cover, rather than the google cache version you put as image source:
http://i.imgur.com/wvyXs.jpg
2259161
Now why does no one ever think of that?
That was funnier than I had expected. :)