A Lesson in Humanity
This chapter is mostly a human history lesson, and the ponies reaction to it. It doesn't have any specific plot relevance, so if you wish, you can skip it. However, it is quite funny I believe, and you may want to read it for a good laugh. After all, the previous chapter was pretty intense, and several of the comments were of people shedding manly tears, so I figured I'd do a bit to lighten the mood. again, it's entirely your choice as to whether or not you want to read it, and while I'm sure you all will, if you decide not to you aren't missing anything plot relevant. Lol, 'plot'
"Alright, the first thing you all should know about Earth. There is no magic, at least no known magic. If it does exists, it's practitioners are very secretive about it, and so it is not common knowledge." Nightshade began. He had to start them off somewhere. Celestia remembered a bit about humans, but knew nothing of the world to which her parents had sent them. Luna knew nothing at all, as she was too young to remember, and her sister had not told her of them, trying to bury the past.
"The clouds move on their own, and the sun and moon are not raised. The sun is the center, while the Earth circles around it, and the moon around the Earth." He said, conjuring a model of the solar system that filled the entire room. Teaching is so much easier when you can call upon whatever you want, no matter how absurd it is, with just a thought. He figured that since he had unlimited resources at his disposal, why not go with a bit of flare? Lyra seemed interested, Celestia was unimpressed at being in school all over again, and Luna was absolutely giddy at the show.
After they had woken up to get something to eat, class resumed inside of Nightshade's head. His three guests were more than eager to get back to the lesson. Once he had gotten done with the rest of the solar system, he brought the focus to Earth, and labeled each of the continents.
He talked about Europe, where most of modern civilization came from, and what various royals would do to further their empires, which appalled the sisters as to how those with the responsibility of entire nations could act in such a way. They also seemed quite upset upon learning that humans rode atop horses for the greater part of the millenium, and often mistreated them.
Then he went on the the eastern nations, China, Japan, and India, and their bizzare culture, and the different things that they ate. Africa, which was constantly stricken with drought, famine, disease and the like. He covered the middle east, and brought up the various religious wars that took place, as well as ancient Egypt. He moved on to Australia, how the entire continent was originally a prison used by Britain, and how pretty much everything that moved tried to kill you, and even some things that didn't move. He moved onto the America's explaining the conquistador's, and the like.
He had to stop several times. While Celestia was no stranger to war, having narrowly avoided a full out conflict with the griffin kingdoms with a few small skirmishes about 600 years back, Luna was fairing somewhat more poorly, looking like she was going to cry. Lyra full out vomited, although how that was possible while inside someones mind is a mystery.
After going over the settling of America, how the natives were forced off their land. He finally got to the 1900's. After briefly going over WW1, (leaving out most of the details to spare Lyra) He moved on the the industrial age. He went over the development of medicine and machine, how vehicles had brought about a great deal of prosperity, and how unfortunately, they were also used for war. From his memory, he showed them a film on WW2 and the holocaust, and all three of the ponies began crying. Too much was too much, and he had to cut it short.
He explained that while it was a tragedy, that humans had suddenly realized how close they were to destroying themselves, and had made a great many advances in human rights. He told them what he knew of the various saints that had come along, making the world a better place for those around them. Harriet Tubman and the underground railroad, Martin Luther King, as well as the equal rights movements. Seeing that humanity wasn't all bad made them per up a little.
Finally, Nightshade reached the modern age. He explained the internet, (in the most unrevealing way possible, there was no freaking way he was going to tell them about rule 34 and memes, although he was sure Luna would have loved NyanCat) and the best part of the lesson, space exploration.
"For as long as man has existed on Earth, he has looked up at the night sky, and wondered what was there. During the day, the sun gave light to the world, and allowed things to grow, but the night was what was truly captivating." He began. This got Luna's attention. "Humans plotted the night sky, finding patterns, constellations, comets, and anything else that was out there. So obsessed with the night sky, they found that each month of the year had one of twelve constellations take the main position in the sky. People born under a certain set of stars had certain personality traits. They used the stars for everything. Keeping time, navigation, when to plant and when to harvest crops, they built better and better telescopes, trying to see further into the endless sky."
Celestia and Lyra were fairly interested at how humans used the night, but Luna was absolutely entranced. He moved on to the moon, how it had different phases, and how the moon affected the tides, and even the people. Humans tended to be more excitable during the full moon, and more prone to doing crazy things. It's where the term 'lunatic' came from. Celestia laughed at the fact that Luna had all the crazy people on earth named after her.
Nightshade continued, and began talking about space travel. How humans had spent entire decades trying to reach it, and they had finally succeeded.
"What!?" Luna said with shock.
"That's right, humans have traveled to the moon on several occasions. In fact, since the Earth is getting a bit too crowded, and polluted, humans are currently in the process of building an entire city on the moon, so people can live there permanently. They would grow their own food, make their own air, and do everything, all from on the moon."
After showing them another video of the rocket launch, the moon landing, and the plans for future colonization, the ponies were flabbergasted.
"How is all this possible, without using magic?" Lyra asked.
"Well, since humans have never had magic, we always had to make do without it. We relied on our own ingenuity and creativity to build things that can do what we could not. For example, humans can't see very far into space, so we built a massive telescope, called the Hubble, and put it into orbit. We also can't talk telepathically like we're doing now. Sure, we're in my mind, but I'm just the host. You're all here by your own powers. So we had to find a way to communicate. We built satellites that work with these things called cell phones. If you had someones phone number, you could talk to them anywhere in the world." The ponies noticed that Nightshade was referring to humans as 'we' and not they. When they brought it up, he just ignored them and continued on.
Amazed at all the wonders humanity had come up with to aid them where normally magic would be used, but also saddened at the cost it had on the planet. Sure they had advanced, but their world was no longer a bright and shining world. It was one of grey skies and dull stone. Lyra finally asked about his past.
"So, now that we know about human history, what about your history, Mr.Monster? what have you been through?"
"While Earth isn't at all a bad place to live if you're a regular human, I am not, and so unfortunately, I can't live there. You're not going to like what you see, so again, if you need me to stop, just say so." He warned. Nightshade went through his memories, showing what he had done to help others, and how it had come back to bite him. They also learned his real name.
"Davis. DAVIS?" Luna started laughing. Apparently his name was funny. For being a princess who had been banished to the moon for a thousand years, she sure was light hearted. Maybe she was just happy to be back is all, and living life to the fullest.
"Yeah yeah laugh it up miss Lunatic." He said sarcastically. That made Luna blush and Celestia giggle. Maybe Celestia wasn't such a stick in the mud after all. Then they saw what he had been through, his life on the run, and finally the moment when he was zapped to Equestria. Lyra's eyes went wide.
"It worked?" She said stunned.
"What worked? What do you mean?" Said Nightshade.
"The spell. Me and Twilight worked on it for almost a year. We had to stop because she had gotten a new assignment, and me trying to catch a human was just a side project. We only had a little bit of time left, so we decided to put everything in to one last ditch effort. I thought we had failed, and because of the destruction the portal had caused, we decided never to try it again." Lyra said, unsure what to feel at the sudden realization that all of her hard work had not been a loss.
"You mean, you were the one who brought me here?" he said puzzled.
"I guess I am." She said softly. She was completely surprised when the human jumped up, gave her a massive hug, and began dancing around the floor of his mind with her in his arms, limp like a ragdoll. The princesses looked rather confused. After regaining his composure and setting the still stunned Lyra down, he gave an explanation.
"If not for your spell, you last ditch effort, I would be dead right now. I never would have met Scootaloo, who would have died in the forest. Although it's been hard, the two years I've spent here in Equestria have been the happiest of my entire life. I owe everything to you and Twilight. I don't know how I could ever repay you." Nightshade said joyfully.
"Can you let me see you, face to face that is?" She asked.
"Of course. You can come by the hospital tomorrow. You may want to bring Twilight and her friends with you. They still don't know what happened, or that we're even here, and would probably like an explanation." He turned to the princess. "I mean, if that's alright with you."
Something with the way he had said that last line seemed familiar, and Celestia was compelled to agree. Besides, she needed to catch up with her student, and inform her to be more careful with what activities she did in her spare time. Jokingly of course, she'd never want to stifle Twilight, she just wanted to have a little fun with her, something called 'trolling' that she had learned about during the internet portion of the lesson. While she hadn't known they had a name for it, she was all to familiar with the concept, and she didn't feel as bad knowing it was actually rather commonplace. She seemed to remember a particular incident involving tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala which drove her perfectionist student up the wall, as well as having Twilight's friends crash the Gala itself, letting her get a laugh while maintaining her image.
"Also, before we wake up, I was wondering, just why was it that Lyra kept dreaming of me? I mean, there are plenty of other humans, I wonder why she kept getting me." Nightshade asked Celestia.
"While, as far as I can tell, her interest in humans is what drew her to dream of them, so when trying to find one, her mind zeroed in on the most interesting human there is." Celestia responded.
"So let me get this straight. Until I came to Equestria, I was the most interesting man in the world?" He inquired using the voice that narrated a certain alcohol commercial.
"Seems so." Luna said, although not sure as to why the human had suddenly changed his tone of voice. She chalked it up to being a 'human' joke.
Wow, Celestia was a bit of a bitch last chapter, and now that she and Luna know where Nightshade is coming from, combined with him having a daughter to take care of, they can see why he was so dead set on not going back. You all kept asking me to lay off the evils of humanity bit, so I decided to make this chapter a bit more comedic, and show some of the good that humans have accomplished. And now Celestia knows about trolling. What kind of monster have I unleashed? I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equines. Stay pony my friends.
After waking up in the hospital, Celestia and Luna are ready to go home, but Nightshade has to stay a couple more days to allow his skin to regrow. (Would normally be several weeks but he's in magic pony land, and healing is kind of a focus in a world that hasn't had a war in 600 years.) He is confronted by the mane six, and Scootaloo knocks the wind out of a jealous Rainbow Dash's sails. Also, if you didn't get the hint, Nightshade kind of likes Fluttershy. Kind of unexpected given what happened when they first met. Guess I just rewarded the folks who read this totally not required chapter.
Damn! Your really pumping out the chapters! i'm impressed
When he is the most intresting man in the world,He usualy does it drinking *INSERT FAVORED DRINK HERE*.
202176 What you said.
@ BlackWing Also, I have met my match in Speedy Spellchecking. You crank out chapters faster than I drink Diet Coke, and have little to no mistakes! Hay, I haven't even seen ONE.
I now give you my championship belt from 3rd grade for "Most extensive Vocabulary " Also, I officially name you the proud owner, of the medal I got from 2nd grade for tying with a 7th grader for 1st place in a spelling bee.
202176
True dat.
well done good sir
I used to be a Davis like you,
Then I took a nightshade to the finger
Funny that ponies would, apparently, focus their knowledge on healing. I mean a ton of our medical advances come straight out of war.
Logically, you would think that without a need for medical advancements they wouldn't have made them , right?
c.images.memegenerator.net/instances/500x/14299706.jpg
Great chapter, love how you chose to balance the good and the bad in human history, rather making us seem like pure evil, hate and greed when the human race is more of an enigma in its alignment.
202617
It's not just an enigma in its alignment.
It has no alignment.
Not good, not chaotic, not evil, not lawful, not neutral, not whatever else you can think of.
An alignment for the species indicates what the species is urged to do, regardless of who they are.
202620 I think the 'best way to ''define'' humanity is to use rule 30 (binary cellular automaton) of the chaos theory.
To define humanity as a whole, is like defining the undefinable!
The humans is maybe like the mixture of genetic past, soscial past and personal whims.... which then ends up in a summary of being either good, bad, neutral, chaotic or something in between.
And by that, one can say that humanity in a whole is chaotic!
Right,so if I can appear on the history,I can give you Fire Bolt's personality :D
-Flaming Alicorn,born outside of Equestria.Knows just how Nightshade feels because everyone who noticed she was burning mocked with her or feared her.Most feared.And now *insert a reason on your chapter -_-* ,came to Equestria to see NIghtShade.-
Kind
Shares a good Laugh
Loyal
Generous
Magical
Honest
202602 OBJECTION! The man in question is labeled as a monster it TWO worlds, and is wanted in BOTH world which has been mentioned!
Your Honor, I rest my case.
202264 More like daredevil pegasi smacking their heads, earth ponies working themselves into the ground, or magic mishaps....
202996
...and you completely missed the point.
203125 I have to agree with Ramiel4d on this one.
injuries like that don't compare to the ones we got in the world, especially during war.
magic would be a bland but better excuse.
Trollestia is born
202185 he does it drinking AppleJack Daniels
202264 Well we dont have to worry about falling out of the air, missfired spells, or party crazed ponies.
332044 Those are so much worse than bullets, noxious gas, Dysentery and Scabies.
I don't always get knocked out, but when i do,
it's because of ponies.
Stay alive, my friends.
332316 dont forget my little personal favorite. Cocroaches.... Cocroaches are the only creature capable of surviving radiation, so after the wrold as we know it is no more, the cooky cocroach will be there to start a new race, a race of bug people! with a million eyes, sixteen legs, an Exoskeleton! *professor Utonium voice, referencing the first episode of the powerpuff girls when he talked about cocroaches*
...
Yep... Pretty much.
The Africa leason was false. For the tribal peoples, not to mention the first humans, Africa was, and still is an Eden, it is the European methods that bring about drought and famine.
Hm... My only problems with this story so far are kinda short chapters, and the pacing is off by a tiny bit. But thats about it.
Lol he shoulda told them about the Cold War
769940 ................indeed.
769940 well if you're lucky you end up dead.
This got me looking at The Zodiac Signs(Mine is Pisces) and I gotta say, my sign describes me almost perfectly.
Why are most Americans such wusses about Australia? Hell, I went to LA and It seemed more dangerous than the bloody outback! :P
5312341 because they've never been there
202264 the CMC. I'm sure they weren't the first in all of Equestrian history.
6337761 sodaC
5312341 Well I'm scared of the outback because of a little TV show called Wolf Creek. Watch it at your own risk. *shudders*
5312341
Probably because there all in alleyways waiting to rape you