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It was supposed to be Trixie's vacation, a soul searching trip to Ponyville. Instead she found herself in a town full of crazy, enthralled ponies, the result of Twilight becoming corrupted by a mysterious amulet.
Managing to escape conversion, she set out to form a resistance movement. It's off to a great start. She already has Fluttershy.
(Genre-deviating sequel to Hostile Takeover)
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Semi-Sequel?
2167930
Well, I meant that to be the opposite of direct sequel, but now that I think about it, that's silly wording, so I've changed it.
Oh mar garsh, I'm so excited!
Insta Fave! Okay so it looks like Twilight has started a cult. Will Fluttershy and Trixie be able to stop her? Stay tuned!
To paraphrase, Well fuck.
I so have to finish reading book 2! But i love this series... I kind of wish you had kept to canon wise but whatever
Wow, that amulet didn't waste any time getting Twilight under its control. I would have thought she would know what it is since she had a book on it in her library the entire time, but maybe she got that one later. Who knows.
I like how you introduced Trixie and all the differences to her attitude. Scary what the Element of Kindness can do to ya!
Dirty pool old man with poking Twilight in the eye with a horn. I like it.
Welp, the zebra trick didn't work this time. Now what? Guess I'll have to find out.
Bring it!
Hostile Takeover sequel! Hostile Takeover sequel! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!
Ahem. I mean this should be a good read.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/86149/the-greatest-islamic-pony
Dun-dun-duuuun!
Twilight did a hostile takeover of Ponyville.
Ho.... lee fuk. I'm definitely reading part one.
To quote TVTropes: OhCrap
Twilight is nothing if not thorough. A good trait to have if one is to become an evil dictatress.
2168054
Enthusiasm? Alright, if you think it wise...
But I'm glad you're excited. I am too. Writing this will be quite a lot of fun.
2168322
And stayed tuned after next week's episode for a Very Special Episode wherein we address the growing social problem of addiction to corrupting magic power and Trixie learns how to live a normal life without empathy.
2168341
The bolder, more precise version.
2168436
Well, the way I saw it, I had already wrecked canon no matter which way you tilted it. Hostile Takeover was written as if Trixie had never returned to Ponyville (because it was written before Magic Duel aired) and I couldn't follow the canon events of Magic Duel in this story and still have it be a sequel to Hostile Takeover because in that story I had portrayed Trixie as successful in her craft and she developed a friendship(?) with Fluttershy, therefore giving her no motivation to come back to Ponyville and throw the gauntlet at Twilight.
So I reversed the whole thing. Because I'm weird. And maniacal.
2168572
I actually plan to address that plothole later, though now that you've laid it out so bare, I can't help but think I have should have employed a little of that literary technique known as foreshadowing (well, more than I already have). I'll see how it comes to together in later chapters and then possibly consider coming back and doing some edits.
Trixie is quite the jumbled mess of life views. She'll get them sorted... Eventually... Maybe... Never.
I think "playing fair" is some weird rule that only other pony's follow.
The result of Unicorn vs. Zebra to be concluded after a few messages from our sponsors.
2168580
Suddenly-- lyrically appropriate song! Thank you, dear reader. (Still haven't watched that show... I know, I'm terrible).
2168849
I say, what an outburst! I'm glad you've managed to restrain yourself. 'Tis nothing to get excited about, anyway. It will no doubt be the punching bag of the critics ere long.
2169007
No, sorry, I can't say I see the connection. Twilight is a clear Follower of Celestia and Fluttershy pays dues to Silvanus (though she still doesn't quite understand the whole sacrifices part) and Trixie, well, she's a minion of Malacath, because none of the others would take her. He still doesn't quite know what to do with her.
Anyway, I appreciate the effort you took to comment on my story. That must have taken some doing.
2169777
i.imgur.com/IrJwL.gif
2170643
Dohohoho!
2171289
By all means! I didn't even think about the fact that this story might catch the eye of people who haven't read Hostile yet. I hope it doesn't serve as a deterrent. There are still a few aspects of that story I'm not entirely happy with, but c'est la vie. I'd like to think I'm continually improving.
2172395
I've browsed TV Tropes a lot and I've entirely missed that page, but yes, I'd say that exactly describes Trixie's outburst. (Oh, TV Tropes, what have you not categorized?)
2173227
I'd like to think she'd make a fantastic, power-hungry empress. Tyrantlestia? Psshh. Twi would give her such a run for her bits. I plan on having each of the corrupted ponies keeping very close to their original personalities, just a little more... red-eyed.
2173411 Celestia honestly never struck me as the tyrant type. Twilight on the other hand, with her occasional mental shattering, seems much more likely to do something crazy like this. And then make it work.
2173411 I haven't watched the show either, I just know it's really great, apparently. I do know the music is awesome and that it's on my list of things I really need to watch, along with: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Fist of the North Star, and Jo Jo's Bizarre Adventure.
You have to say it like "FIGHT DA POWAHHHHH!!!"
Hostile Takeover was one of the first stories I faved on this sight and now it has a sequel! I'm so reading this first chance I get!
Yep, this is going to be good.
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0nhk0kesH1r4alnuo1_500.gif
2173411
After reading the story I have to say, bit strange not seeing Trixie struggle against her growing sense of empathy like she did in Hostile Takeover. At least not as adamantly as she had before. I suppose I makes sense that any mental resistance she could muster would be broken down after such a long time skip considering the mental bludgeoning her new found feelings of charity were giving her in the last few chapters. Still, said mental struggle was the highlight of the story and I do hope to see more of it, but I trust that whatever direction you chose to take with be an amusing and enthralling experience nonetheless. Liked and faved, keep up the good work Mr. Swallows!
Coconut my friend, you need to contact the site's admins, because there's obviously an error here: I can only like and favorite this fic once.
2173432
I can't say that Celly ever really seemed like the tyrant type to me, either. Unless you completely AUed her, then her gentleness and teacher's disposition would make a failure of an evil empire. But Twilight? Yes, she'd do nicely...
2173505
I haven't yet seen anything on that list, either. And sometimes I like to think I'm culturally caught up...
2173770
Yes, that's exactly how it should be said. I couldn't really write it like that, but if you're ever saying the name of the story to someone else in conversation, then that is the pronunciation you use. No exceptions.
2174946
What is this tingling sensation I feel? I think... I think it might be some sort of pride. Quick, bring me down a notch!
But thank you. I'm glad I could entertain with my last story and I hope this one doesn't disappoint.
2175564
Replace "police" with "mad, power hungry unicorn and her army of thralls" and you have an accurate description of Trixie's attitude and a phrase that's too large to put on a gif.
2175640
. Though, if you noticed, she was getting a grip right before they went to the market, but that was entirely interrupted by some crazy flank unicorn.
I plan for Trixie to throw some more successful saving throws against Fluttershy's Curse of Empathy in later chapters. In this chapter, the cursed side of her was putting up too much of a fight in its eagerness to return to its source--
However, criticism is always more than welcome, so do be sure to still call me on it in the later chapters if Trixie looks like she's lost some of the nuances of her character that she had in the first story. I'd like to think I have the character development covered along with the overarching narrative, but think is the operative word here.
2176072
Hear hear! You'd think Knighty would have that fixed by now, but apparently he doesn't have his priorities straight. I'll be sure to address that in my next FIMFiction Supremacy Meeting.
But thank you! It means a lot to me that someone as well read around the ficverse as you has enjoyed it so far. I hope that I can write the rest of Trixie's saga to be just as entertaining.
2177674
Sir, it would be an honor to serve the Great and Powerful Trixie in her crusade against the tyranny of charity and kindness. You can count on me, sir! I'll give it 110%! And if I may, sir, your tenacity when replying to each and every subject brought up by every single comment in your threads no matter how asinine the topic is inspiring.
On that note: Shoobaleedamuckachuckahababababababamoe.
Interesting chapter, and a nice way to set up the story proper.
Great seeing Trixie as a new mare, but is even better when you know that she is still fighting her old ways, I also liked how the amulet was introduced: straight forward but with an element of mystery.
So yeah, its safe to say I will be really looking forward to the next chapter
Good start, but you were a bit weak with descriptions at times.
Also,
"as", no? And there should probably be a "had" between "she" and "lived".
"around them" repetition.
"had already been". And need a "had" after "Twilight".
The were other errors, too. Some places that lack commas, some more tense problems, a word usage issue or two. This post's already getting a bit sizable, though. Sorry about that.
If this is a sequel, why isn't it on eqd? they pretty much list sequels under the same entry. I don't think you even need to pass prereaders.
Writing is fine, characterization is still down pat, and its not an idea I've seen before... but for whatever reason, I'm not really enjoying this yet. I'll give it a few more chapters before I write it off, but I'm just a bit disappointed this is the direction you decided to take things in. It's a big tonal shift from its prequel, to the point where it loses what originally drew me to that story.
I guess those are just my personal feelings though. If this is where you want to take your characters and your storyline, go right ahead. The power is yours.
2180200
Well thank you! Your recruit badge will be in the mail soon.
Also, in regards to the comments, I appreciate your appreciation. The way I see it, if someone's taken the time to comment on my story then I can take the time to respond, even if there isn't much to respond to, in which case I'll just be my zany self. I'm trying to take advantage of this internet thing, a device that has allowed artists and their viewers to have a connection previously unheard of. Artists can now directly and personally interact with everyone who has taken the time to experience what they've made. It's an era I'm exceedingly happy to live in.
2180961
Well thank you! I'm glad I've established a good hook. Expect things to only escalate from here.
2184509
What? Did my editor go over this drunk? What am I even paying him for?
Oh yes... I remember now. I don't have an editor. Those were just my mistakes.
Well, first of all, thank you ever so much for spotting those and writing them down for me. That goes above and beyond a reader's duty! I've corrected them and now realize that I probably ought to fine tooth comb this sucker when I get the chance.
2188232
I was aware that they put sequels under the same header as the first story but I was also of the mind that they still went over the story. Huh. I'm unsure. Well, regardless, I'd like to have the story a bit more fleshed out before I submit it. Just a few more chapters to establish a baseline (and if the above comment is any indication, yet another coat of polish) and I'll be sending it over to them blogponies.
2215795
Hey look, a criticism! I love me some critique! Can I give you hug? Is that okay? No? It's fine, I can save it for later.
Not entirely satisfied with the new direction? That's understandable. This isn't exactly the more slicey lifey story that its predecessor was. However, I do hope that my future chapters will show that I certainly plan on having all the zany character interactions, Trixie and Fluttershy quasi-conflict, and development that Hostile Takeover had. This is still an entirely character driven story. It just has a sprinkling of external conflict in it.
Though I welcome you to continue pointing out directions taken that you don't like. If I'm not taking the story down a trail people are interested in reading than I would happily like to know.
2224387
If you happen to be looking for an editor…
When is part 2?
I saw this up on the feature box awhile ago and that led me tho read hostile .
And now here I am.
HOO RAH.
2224501
Wait, are you offering to be my editor? Or perhaps offering to show me where I might acquire one willing to put up with my scribblings? Because either is something I'd be quite interested in.
2243597
Somewhere in the ether of the imagination that permeates my mind...
Also I'm working on it right now. I'd give you a deadline but when I give deadlines they inevitably rush right by me with alarming speed. I can say, however, that if I don't have it out by the end of next week or so, then I will have probably died.
2251077
Well I saw that you enjoyed Hostile, so I dearly hope this lives up to expectations, and if not, be sure to leave a comment telling me where and how it crashed and burned.
2255592
I'd be able to do either, but I was mostly getting at the former. I'd happily be your editor.
2255592 are you dead?
It sounds like Trixie is going to shoulder the role as The
FreemanFreemareYour dead....
Am I the ONLY one still wanting this story to be updated...
UPDATE!!!!!!!!
HAHHAHha! I have the same thing for my sig!
I do hope this one hasn't been abandoned. I loved your characterization of Trixie in the Hostile Takeover fic, and am eager to see how you handle her in a more dramatic and adventurous setting.
Continuing to wait both faithfully and patiently, Didls.
Well, folks, I've finally updated. To say that life has not been at the level of business that I was expecting over the past months would be an understatement. I said something about this in one of my previous comments, actually:
Of course, then I proceeded to give a quasi-deadline right after making that statement. How very, very foolish of me. I do apologize.
But that is behind us now! I'm now back on the writing saddle! Onward my faithful steed!
2256060
Well I'd be ecstatic to have you as an editor, assuming that offer even still stands. PM if it does and mayhaps we can work out details.
2455834
Aw, Twilight Shadow, you dedicated reader, you. I take your strong desire for an update as a high compliment and by all accounts of what I told you I should be dead right now, you are correct. You have my sincerest apologies for the wait. I hope it now does not disappoint.
2584039
Ah, but yours has shiny, red squigglies in the background. I'd say it's superior.
2608591
Well your patience has been rewarded, my dear reader! Once again, I apologize for the wait! For the record, if I were to ever truly abandon a story, then I would say so and distinctly mark it as such. Otherwise just assume that I'm either taking my sweet time or busyness has attacked with ferocity.
The dialogues... they crack me up.
Doomed. Doooooooomed.
Trixie triumphs again!
That single sentence; the world being taken over by a crazy maniac, and Trixie still finds time to gloat in the third person.
You made the entire wait worthwhile in the first paragraph. And then that line about tulips, oh golly I laughed, ALOT.
Good things are worth waiting for, and if every chapter proves to be as funny as this one, I'll be more than willing to wait for the next chapters. e
Dun DUN DUN!!!
Suddenly Twilight. Silly, Twilight, don't you know that Empresses don't have to attack directly. They have minions for that.
Your new mission is to top this quote.
So, now we finally see Trixie reverting back to her lovably selfish persona. Oh Trixie, how I missed you. Some wonderful, fun scenes in there, and a whole chapter of what was effectively a wild goose chase because Trixie didn't think to look around the hut for an antidote. I'm sure in the future she will have found a way to make this sound like somepony else's fault. But look on the bright side! Now they have Derpy, bringing the resistance up to three members!
Admittedly not the most ideal pony to have when facing one of the most powerful unicorns in the world whose power has been further augmented by a crazy ancient artifact of incredible power, especially when they used said power to enslave most of the ponies that were most qualified to actually do something about it, but hey, she's as good a start as any!
Oh, Twi found them? Game over.
On another note, feel free to take your time with this. I don't think any of us that dealt with the sporadic updates of Hostile Takeover came into this fic expecting any kind of consistency with it's updates. I mean, I can't speak for the rest of your readers, but you continue to deliver a fun story, hilarious character interactions, and (at the risk of sounding like a broken record) my favorite portrayal of Trixie in any fic, ever, and I will gladly wait for annual updates if need be.
Something closer to monthly would be welcome, too.
Yaaaayyy! You're not dead after all!
This story is so much fun.