Time is Valuable, Next Time Get a Messenger Dragon
(3)
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“That’s no way to greet your Empress,” said Twilight, shaking her head at the new thorn in her side. “Next time remember to bow.”
The thorn hissed. “Trixie will bow when she’s dead!”
Twilight frowned. She was quickly losing her patience for nonsense. “You can’t bow when you’re dead. You can’t do anything when you’re dead. You’re body is lifeless and inert.”
“Well then, I guess you’ll never get any submission from Trixie! Now if we’re about to fight, then let’s get it over with!” Trixie’s horn emitted a fierce glow and she lowered her head.
Leaning back in her chair, Twilight exhaled sharply through her nose. She had everything perfectly in hoof until Trixie showed up in Ponyville. She was going to have to think of some suitable punishment for the unicorn’s hubris when she was finally assimilated into the fold, preferably something humiliating. Equestria’s new Empress was not about to let slide her besting by a simple stage magician.
“Well, are we about to show each other our magical prowess or you just going to sit there?” The Wannabe’s nostrils flared. She paused and stood up straighter. “Are you in a chair?”
“Are you normally this unobservant?” Twilight gently clopped her hooves together. “We’re not going to fight, as much as I’d like to because of all the trouble you’ve caused. We can’t.”
“Then what did you come here for? Did you just come here to mock Trixie? Because you have some—”
“I’m not even there!” Twilight yelled. She reached her hoof forward to where Trixie's face was, letting the lack of contact speak for itself.
A voice spoke at Trixie’s side, just out of sight. “Trixie, um, who are you talking to?”
Trixie turned, her stare softening. “What do you mean? I’m talking to your amulet-wielding ex-friend.”
“Ah, so is Fluttershy there?” That was good news. Twilight was hoping that the last of the Bearers hadn’t run off on her own.
“Yes she’s here! Can’t you see her?” Trixie squinted at Twilight and reached out a hoof in her direction. “You’re just a communication portal, aren’t you? Trixie has never seen one this good.”
Twilight lifted the source of her life’s blood from her neck towards her confused rival. “I was already good at them but now, with this wonderful artifact, I’m the best at it. You shouldn’t have let yourself get captured, Trixie. It has costs.” She presented a small tuft of hair. “Lyra managed to bring me back a sampling of your biology, all I needed to cast a spell to track you.”
Trixie cocked her to the side. “How did she get back to you so fast?”
“She has her ways.” Twilight shrugged. “Unfortunately,” she continued, frowning, “My spell still isn’t capable of locating you. I can send these portals to you but I still don’t know where it is that you are.” She put a hoof to her mouth and started tapping it. How many places could they hide out in? There weren’t many she didn’t already have covered.
“Well you’ll never be finding out from Trixie! Now begone with you!” Tendrils of electricity shot out of Trixie’s horn at the portal, fizzling as they made contact. “Why is Trixie’s dispelling magic not working?”
“Because I’ve made it impervious to all forms of dispellation.” Twilight waved a hoof. “Please be quiet, I’m trying to think.” They had to still be in the Everfree, but where? There was no place in the Everfree that they could safely camp out.
“Um, Trixie, I, uh, I don’t mean to pry, but what is Twilight saying?”
“Tell her to send us some muffins! We’re fugitives and we deserve good treatment!”
“Shh, you two, our Illustrious Empress is trying to think. She’s having trouble getting a lock on us with her little horn. Maybe the shiny bauble around her neck is weighing her down.” Trixie turned to stare straight at Twilight, the edges of her mouth curling up into a highly irritating grin.
Twilight’s hairs stood on end as tendrils of electricity shot through her. She stood up, kicking her temporary throne onto its side with her back hoof. “It is not a bauble! It is my life! It is the definition of the universe!” Her eyes burned with magic fire. If only they could pierce the foolish unicorn’s very soul.
“Mock not our Empress’s source of power, and tell her that we’re at my hut so she doesn’t have to scour!”
“Shush!” Trixie yelled.
A large, toothy grin spread across Twilight’s face. Now that made sense. “So you’re at Zecora’s? I figured you wouldn’t have been able to overpower her. I’ll try not to underestimate you again. That’s why I can’t track you. She has wards around her hut. Well, little matter now, I’ll just send some ponies to pull you all back into the fold. See you when you get here.”
“No, wait!” Trixie held up a hoof.
Twilight waved and broke off the connection. Now that she knew where the last few dissidents were, it was time for the continuation of her grand plans. She pulled the rope dangling by her side. A bell rang in the other room of the library.
Her ever faithful assistant marched into the room and bowed before her. “You rung, O Empress?”
“Yes, Spike, fetch the Bearers, please.” Twilight righted her throne chair and sat back down in it. If there was one group of ponies she knew she could count on, it was them.
The door swung open and four ponies filed in, their eyes burning intently.
“How can we serve ya yer Highness?” Applejack led the pack and bowed, an action echoed by the others.
“I have finally discovered the location of our most recent problem. Trixie is hiding in Zecora’s hut and most importantly, she still has Fluttershy with her.” Twilight’s regal composure broke to allow a lopsided smile.
“Yes!” Rainbow Dash yelled, pumping a hoof into the air. “When we finally have her then we can start having some real fun!”
“Correct, Rainbow. Once we have all the Bearers enlightened, then we can truly start on the path to our destiny. Canterlot will not know what hit it.” The amulet sent a shockwave of energy throughout Twilight’s body causing her to shiver. It knew just the right time to be dramatic.
“Ooh, ooh, can we takeover Phillydelphia, first?”
Twilight frowned at Pinkie. “And why would we do that?”
“Because I want my own city! If you get Canterlot then what will I have? Be fair, Twilight!” Pinkie frowned right back.
“I believe that Twilight intends to share the ruling of Canterlot, Pinkie,” said Rarity, “and once we have Twilight on the Princess’s throne then we’ll control all of Equestria. We won’t need our own cities.”
“Ah can’t wait to outlaw all the other apple growin’ businesses in Equestria. It’ll be just Apple Family apples and cider in every city.” Applejack rubbed her hooves together.
Ah, such ambition. Twilight liked it but she would have to keep an eye on it. She held a hoof up, hushing them. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, girls. We first need to take care of this little problem. It shouldn’t take much, but I’ll need two of you to join the team to go and capture them. I’m not taking any risks this time.”
“I would never miss the chance for some action! I’ll go!” Rainbow Dash raised her hoof.
“Ah’ll join ‘er. I can handle myself in a fight as Ah’m sure ya know.”
“You won’t hear me object. Those two will work perfectly.” Rarity smiled.
“But what am I going to do? It’s been getting boring around here now that we’ve caught everypony that needed to be enlightened.” Pinkie jutted her lower lip out.
“Don’t worry, I have a job for you and Rarity as well.” Twilight rang the bell again and Spike entered the room. “Spike, fetch our tracker. Rarity and Pinkie, I need you two to join me on my trip to Cloudsdale.”
“Actually, your majesty," said Spike. "Lyra's right outsi—”
“You called your Highness! Your Majesty! Your Amazingness!” Lyra hopped in front of the Bearers and bowed deeply before springing backing up and standing straight. She saluted. “I am here to serve! No, not just serve, I’m here to be your right hoof! I am but another instrument of your body! I am an extension of your life changing presence!”
“I’m more like your observant spyglass,” said Bon Bon, finally making it from the door to the Lyra’s side.
“You two are to join Rainbow Dash and Applejack in apprehending Trixie and Fluttershy and bringing them before me. Do your Empress proud!” Twilight’s eyes flashed a deeper crimson.
“I won’t fail you again! I will exceed expectations! Thank you for giving your humble servant another chance to redeem herself! I apologize once again for my previous mishap!” Lyra bowed again, repeatedly.
"As I told you before," said Twilight, "I don't need your apologies. You have already helped tremendously. Now you need to just try again."
Lyra straightened. “Can they be bruised before I bring them here?!”
“You can give Trixie as much damage as you want but leave Fluttershy unharmed.”
“It’ll be an honor serving with you.” Bon Bon nodded at Rainbow Dash and Applejack.
Applejack tipped her hat. “It’ll be our pleasure to help you rope in those two varmints.”
“Can we head out now?” Rainbow Dash wrung her hooves gleefully.
“You may.” Twilight watched as the four ponies left the room and set her gaze on the other two Bearers. “You two—follow me. Cloudsdale needs to be shown the true meaning of life.”
There were times when language suitable for the stage and its mixed audience, the language Trixie typically stuck too, just wasn’t enough. She expressed this notion. Fluttershy squeaked and held a hoof to her mouth, receiving a sidelong glance from the culprit. “Trixie isn’t going to apologize for the language she just used. She considers it entirely appropriate given the situation.”
A hoof tapped Trixie on the shoulder. “So, uh, what’s the situation again?”
Trixie faced Derpy with a frown. “We’ve been found out you ditz!” The exclamation was reinforced with frantic hoof waving. “All because some zebra around here, Trixie won’t point any hooves, ratted us out!” She faced the subject in question just in time to see the shameless, ex-striped equine open her mouth. “No!” Trixie approached her a few steps and held a hoof up. “No! If Trixie hears one more rhyme from you she will not hesitate to dump what’s left of your potions and powders around here on top of you. You’re already green. Trixie would love to see what other sorts of things could happen to you!”
“Trixie, be nice.” Fluttershy patted her shoulder, a move that didn’t make Trixie feel at all comforted. “She’s under the amulet’s thrall. She can’t be held responsible for her actions.”
“And neither can Trixie at this point!” Trixie pounded a hoof into the ground.
There was a brief silence as she paced the floor. Her thoughts were a storm of an emotions and she needed to let them stew and bury themselves inside her to come out in triplicate later. She could feel them drifting to her core while her eyes bore a hole into the floor. Something vaguely resembling calm reclaimed her senses. She looked up. “What we need is reinforcements. We need back up. Twilight might be able to pose a threat to us, but let’s see her pose a threat against the might of the Princesses and the Royal Guard!”
She ran to the upturned table in the middle of the room and rifled around it. Her search provided her with a quill, some paper, and a fortunately capped inkwell. Righting the table, she scribbled furiously on the paper, getting across the dire situation with as few words as possible. Rolling it up with her magic, she offered it to Derpy. “This will be our lifesaver. It’s a message to the Princesses asking for their help and it’s our only hope. Make sure that little fact sticks in your brain. Trixie’s described what’s happening and told them that if they don’t get their flanks down here then they’ll have the entirety of Equestria taken out from under them by their favorite student. You can fly above the Everfree and take it straight to Canterlot.”
"Straight to Canterlot, got it! And I can get muffins while I’m there!” Derpy’s face lit up.
“Whatever, just don’t eat the message!” Trixie waved a dismissive hoof.
“I won’t let you down! Or the message! Because I’ll be in the air and that’d be bad!” Derpy ran out the door and took to the air.
Trixie cursed again under her breath. Their hope was on a thin wire. She didn’t have to be around that wall-eyed pegasus for long to figure that out. “She’s probably not going to make it.”
“Then why did you send her?” asked Fluttershy. “I could have taken it. I don’t want Derpy to get hurt.”
“Well Trixie couldn’t send you. If that wonky-eyed klutz isn’t likely to make it then Trixie certainly wasn’t going to put you in the same danger.”
Fluttershy ducked her head. “Trixie, that’s very caring of you. I didn’t—“ A blue hoof blocked the rest of her words.
“Stuff it! It’s nothing like that. Trixie is simply choosing the best mare for the job and that wasn’t you!”
Fluttershy’s eyes smiled and Trixie scrunched her nose up. “Fine, don’t believe Trixie! You just wait until we’re in a dire situation and Trixie has to choose between herself and you! You’ll be very disappointed at the outcome!” She removed her hoof from its helpful position and walked to the hut’s front window. She scanned the clearing that served as the house’s front lawn. There wasn’t much going for it. “That small clearing out there is going to be our battlefield in less than an hour.”
“Oh my,” whispered Fluttershy. “We’re not going to make it are we?”
Where was the vote of confidence? Had not Trixie rose above her humble beginnings as a roaming performer? Had she not become a very successful stage magician in Manehattan? Did she not survive the menace that was having an obnoxiously kind pony as a roommate for several months? Compared to all that, what was defeating an uber-powerful, artifact wielding unicorn’s highly competent minions?
“We can do this!” Trixie exclaimed, feeling a surge of excitement within herself. “We only need to hold out for several hours, enough time for that thin excuse of a pegasus to get a message to the Princesses and bring them back here!” She gave that statement a few more thoughts. Her excitement faded. “Or that pegasus won’t make it like Trixie suspects and we’ll just be holding out for nothing.” She sighed. “At least Trixie is confident she'd look good with red eyes. She'd probably be quite intimidating.”
“Why don’t we just run?”
“Where will we run? Twilight has the ability to track Trixie now. There’s no place we can go! No, we have to bunker down here. Surely there’s something that we’re missing that will give us the upper hoof.” Trixie eyed Zecora. “And we do have a hostage. Tell me, Frizzmane, how much does the Empress value you?”
In devilish fashion, Twilight’s face took over the space between Trixie and Zecora.
Recovering from her startled jump, Trixie looked at her rival with scrutiny. “Why aren’t your ears on fire?”
“Trixie, I felt it best to send you a warning. You will be facing an unstoppable force. It’s best that you surrender now or you might get hurt.”
“Trixie will take her chances.”
Twilight’s eyes gleamed. “That's a very unwise decision.”
“Blah, blah.” Trixie shook her head. “Tell me, Miss Shiny Amulet, what would you say if I threatened to seriously harm Zecora here if you didn’t call off your minions?”
Twilight blinked. “I would say that she would be taking harm for a good cause.”
“Tyranny! Trixie calls for impeachment!”
“You can’t impeach an empress. My rule is despotic and until death.”
“Well you just wait until the minority has spoken!”
“You’re making political analogy jokes aren’t you?”
“Is that a problem?”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Try not to get yourself too injured.” The portal disappeared.
“Try not get yourself too injured,” Trixie mocked.
“You would not have hurt me, that is too harsh for you, I see.” Zecora smiled.
“Trixie thought she told you to can it you rhyming machine!”
The zebra returned to her more pleasant demeanor of silent fuming.
“Trixie, please be nice.” Fluttershy unleashed her Eyes of Worry.
“Fluttershy, come over here.” Trixie stood by Zecora and motioned Fluttershy to follow her. “Take a close look at this face.” She poked Zecora in the cheek, coaxing a deep frown out of its owner. “This is the face of the enemy!”
Fluttershy shook her head. “No, they’re our friends!”
“Not as long as they have these crimson eye sockets! They don’t deserve our pity or our sympathy! They will be crushed beneath our hooves! Or at least until we can save them from whatever is bungling their mind!” Trixie wiggled Zecora’s head around before snapping her hooves back, barely avoiding being bitten. “Watch it! Biting your captors is stupid if you’re useless!” She blinked. “Actually...” Her eyes narrowed and she brought her face mere centimeters away from Zecora’s. “Trixie’s noticed that your mysticalness is very versatile. Those wards around this hut do more than just repel wildlife, don’t they? If they can block tracking spells, then they must have a lot of power behind them.”
Zecora stared at the ceiling and pursed her lips.
“Fine. If Trixie can’t get you to talk then she’ll just have to resort to drastic measures— searching your books.”
Zecora’s eyes flicked in Trixie’s direction before facing the ceiling again.
“Aha! You wrote it all down, didn’t you? Trixie thought as much!” Trixie ran towards the single bookshelf in the room. She started rifling through them as fast as her speed reading could let her.
“Should we maybe make a plan B?” asked Fluttershy. “We don’t have much time.”
“Found it!” The table creaked as Trixie slammed a book open on top of it. “Never underestimate Trixie’s ability to find only the information she needs.” She snickered as she read the first few pages. “Well isn’t this just convenient. ‘To Twilight Sparkle: In zebra magic you showed unfamiliarity, so I have written down what I know to provide clarity.’" She looked up at Zecora. "How sweet. A gift perhaps? A keepsake for after your death?”
Zecora turned to face Trixie with a sneer.
“Rhetorical questions!” yelled Trixie, before the book’s author could say something annoying again. “And not something Trixie cares about.” She read past the book’s introduction, finding her way to a lengthy chapter on “Savannah Wards.” She read it slowly and carefully. She let out an “ahh” when she got to the end before closing the book and throwing it back on the shelf. “Trixie was right, those wards are very powerful. She has what she needs.”
“So you know how to operate them now?” asked Fluttershy.
“Somewhat.”
“Somewhat?” Fluttershy started chewing on one of her hooves.
“Yes, but for Trixie, ‘somewhat’ is all she needs!”
There’s something about knowing you have the upper hoof that makes a standoff boring. Four sets of burning red eyes gazed upon Trixie and all she could think about was how much of a better pose she could strike with her hat and cape. Fluttershy, well, she was being as imposing as a doorstop. Trixie reconsidered the thought. She had actually seen doorstops more fearsome than that quivering, yellow pile of pony.
It was the mint one that stepped forward first and served as the very loud mouthpiece of the opposition. “Listen up! You are scum! You are villains! You represent everything that this new empire stands against! If it were up to me, I would have you strung from the clouds, your bodies left to rot! But our Empress is much more merciful! She has chosen to spare you!”
Bon Bon nudged the loudspeaker’s side. She cupped her hooves over her mouth. “She also really needs Fluttershy!”
“A technicality!” exclaimed Lyra. “Now you can surrender or you can face our wrath!”
“That was a pretty good speech, there, Lyra.” Applejack nodded. “Imposin’.”
“Yeah, whatever.” Rainbow Dash hovered above Lyra and shrugged.
“Did you have a problem with it?!” Lyra stared daggers at the unwarranted critique.
“It was too long. We all know they’re not going to surrender.” Rainbow Dash started yelling in Trixie and Fluttershy’s direction. “Hey, we know you’re going to end up fighting us, so let’s get this over with, huh! We’re going to own you! I claim the arrogant one!”
“Trixie doesn’t think fighting yourself is wise if you aim to win this.” Trixie raised an eyebrow. “One question: why are you all yelling? You’re barely ten feet away from us.”
“Because we’re passionate!” Lyra took exaggerated steps forward. “Now surrender!”
Trixie leaned her head towards Fluttershy and whispered. “Are you ready for this? The wards are buried just under the ground right in front of us.”
Two hooves snapped out to grab her. “Trixie, please tell me they won’t get hurt?”
“They shouldn’t, but Trixie promises nothing!” She pried Fluttershy’s hooves away from her shoulders. Whipping around, she fired a blast of sizzling magic at her wanna-be attackers. “The answer is… no.”
“I told you.” Rainbow Dash snorted. “Let’s get ‘em!”
The four ponies went into attack mode.
Trixie activated her trap.
As a mare bent on taking over the world, Twilight couldn’t have been more proud of her little minions. They were doing their jobs so well. She had just heard back that the Cakes had finished setting up the rationing cafeteria and that the Spike was making good progress in getting all the Ponyvillians arranged into units, with positions being assigned based on merit. She was going to have a wonderful army to work with in the next few days.
She gazed down at the stretching Equestrian landscape before her. She pictured a grid over it, with each quadrant assigned to a governor, all of them sending her reports three times daily so she could send them back corrections and ensure they worked at maximum efficiency at all times. Equestria was going to be a well-oiled machine in her hooves.
“I found these stragglers!”
She made a mental note to continue her reveling of power at a later date. She turned to Pinkie, observing the two thrashing ponies tied to her back. “Bring them here.” If there was one part of her job that never got old, it was the joy of showing ponies the missing piece of the puzzle that was life. With her magic, she delved deep into the wellspring of the Amulet and arced magical energy to the two ponies. The magic lingered around their heads, rotating around them. A tingling energy made its way from them to Twilight and she felt it reverberate throughout her, its sensations making her catch her breath. The magic fell away, leaving two freshly reddened eyes.
“That's always fun to watch!” Pinkie patted the two new converts on the head. “How do you feel? Awesome? Refreshed? Hungry for a few cupcakes?”
“I feel kind of dizzy,” one of them ventured. “But I also feel purposeful. Purposefully dizzy.”
“Oh.” Pinkie’s face scrunched up in confusion. “That’s not how I felt when I was shown the shiny red light.”
“You were a special case, Pinkie,” said Twilight, gently, “like you always are.”
“Thanks, Twilight!” Pinkie beamed.
“How is Rarity coming along?”
“Excellent! She’s getting most of the Cloudsdalinians—the Cloudsdalese—the pegasi into nice, orderly groups, just like you wanted!”
“Good! We should have the clouds re-arranged by midnight, then.” The dreams of conquest started to seep back into Twilight’s thoughts.
“Uh,” said one of Pinkie’s passengers, “could you possibly untie us now?”
“Not yet!” exclaimed Pinkie. “I’m going to get you guys some cupcakes whether you want ‘em or not! I’ll do another check for stragglers afterwards, Twilight Empress!” The clouds barely made a sound as she skipped away on them.
Returning to her euphoric landscape gazing, Twilight was unprepared for the face of Trixie to suddenly invade her view.
“Greetings, Empress! How are you?”
Twilight armed herself with a commanding glower. “Pretty well. I’ll be better once I don’t have to worry about you anymore. How did you even open a communication portal back to me?”
“Give Trixie more credit. You goofed with the last portal you sent. Trixie back-traced it.”
“Shouldn’t you have surrendered by now? I was predicting you would.”
“Predicting Trixie is impossible. She’s a wildcard.” Trixie smirked and winked. “Do you have a communication connection with your smunderlings? Because if you do, you might want to check it right now.” The portal dissipated and her face disappeared.
It was absolutely preposterous that anything could have happened. A stage magician and the weakest of the Bearers defeating the team she sent after them? There was simply no possible way. However, they obviously hadn’t been captured yet, and that bore investigating. Twilight established two communication portals with her Bearers on duty. Her eyes widened at the scene in front of her.
Rainbow Dash and Applejack were suspended in midair, unmoving. A magical glow softly radiated from their bodies.
“Bearers, report!” she yelled.
Applejack’s ear twitched. Rainbow Dash seemed to spin a few centimeters.
With a huff, Twilight tore the portals away and flashed one to Trixie. She was greeted with the smuggest face she had ever seen in her life. She wished with all her might that she could punch it. “What have you done to my Bearers?”
“Your ‘Bearers?’” Trixie raised an arrogant eyebrow. “Oh, you mean your friends? Well, as you saw, I’ve made them rather immobile. I mean, they’re not capable of capturing a moment, much less Trixie. Now, let’s get down to business and start up some bargaining.”
Twilight bared her teeth. “Well we can start with the fact that I’ve captured Derpy. Obviously she was important to you, so you should start by bargaining for her release.”
“Important to me? Not at all. Don’t assume that I care about the ponies that ally themselves with me. Besides, you don’t actually have her anyway.”
“I do too!” Twilight stamped a hoof.
“No you don’t, you’re a horrible liar!”
“Agh!” Twilight whirled around and started pacing back and forth. “She somehow managed to evade the best pegasi I have at my disposal! I don’t know how! I think she was literally flying upside down at one point!”
“So,” Trixie said, brushing a hoof on her chest, “about that bargaining.”
A sharp pain stabbed into Twilight’s eyes. She could feel their ethereal flames burst into a roar. Trixie’s smug demeanor slowly faded. “You’ll regret this,” whispered Twilight. With a flick of her hoof, the portal disappeared.
Her horn started to glow brightly as a large magical aura stretched out from it. It enveloped nearby clouds, cramming them together. The aura radiated out from her for half a mile, a dark cloud forming inside of it as it absorbed increasing amounts of cloud material. She sent sparks of electricity into it, forming it into a volatile cumulonimbus with her magic. A massive lightning bolt shot into the air, emitting an echoing boom, showing her that it was ready. She pictured the location of Zecora's hut in her head and released the cloud, watching as it sped through the sky towards the Everfree. That would keep them more than busy.
But it wasn’t quite enough. She had planned on having Fluttershy by her side within the hour. Without her and with possible Canterlot reinforcements coming in at any moment, her plan was going to have to be sped up. She needed to find Rarity and Pinkie right away.
“Oh my goodness, something bad happened didn’t it?”
Trixie did her best to ease down her worried expression as she turned to face Fluttershy. “Trixie thinks that something bad could, possibly, maybe happen very soon.”
“Can we stop it?”
“Um, I don’t know, can you stop that?” Trixie’s face fell as she pointed towards a gigantic incoming storm cloud.
The cloud loomed large over the horizon, quickly blocking out the sun as it sped towards them. It came to a rest over the clearing, stretching over it and into the surrounding trees. Sheet lightning flashed from inside it, causing it to rumble deeply.
“The amulet-lover can control the weather now?” Trixie stared up at the cloud in awe.
“Is it dangerous?” Fluttershy ducked behind Trixie.
“Trixie thinks it's just meant to be intimidating.”
A lightning bolt ripped from it and struck the ground bare inches from the wards around the hut. The prisoners it contained fell to the ground, free.
“Run!” screamed Trixie, barely able to hear her own voice, her ears still ringing from the thunderclap.
She barely made it halfway to the edge of the clearing when she was knocked to the ground with the distinct feeling of having four hooves impressed on her back. She twisted around and managed to register that she had been jumped by Rainbow Dash before the pegasus right hooked her and sent her mind reeling. Another giant shot of electricity struck the ground beside them and Rainbow Dash jumped off of her in surprise.
Trixie blinked slowly. The sky spun rapidly as she stared up at it through dazed vision. Something wet hit her face, followed by more somethings. The rain picked up in intensity, becoming a torrent in mere seconds. As if the party wasn’t lively enough, the lightning strikes increased, striking the ground rapidly in scattered bursts. Wrestling her senses back under her control, she sat up. With a half-working mind she tried to assess the situation.
Applejack and Bon Bon were fleeing to the south side of the clearing. Fluttershy had taken the east, the exact opposite of Trixie's direction. She contemplated going after her. A yelp sounded to her side. She looked to see Rainbow Dash with a blackened wing giving off smoke. Shaking her head vigorously, she decided to bail and live to fight another day. She hauled herself up as three bolts struck around her and continued her escape. With nothing but clear space from her to the treeline, sirens went of in her head. Where was Lyra? Her eyes widened as she saw a mint covered hoof appear in her trajectory. The impact knocked her off her hooves and her body slid several feet on the wet grass.
“No prey ever really escapes me!” Lyra stood over Trixie, looking all the world like some primal huntress, her grin shining with the glory of a victorious fight. She lifted a hoof over her prey’s face.
A ground shaking explosion went off in the center of the clearing. It rattled Trixie’s teeth and she watched Lyra fall to the ground. There was utter silence. The rain stopped briefly before starting to fall again, unaccompanied by destructive electricity.
Trixie groaned as she brought herself back to her hooves. She wasn’t fast enough. Lyra had already righted herself and was poised to spring. Time seemed to slow down as Trixie begrudgingly admitted to herself that Lyra was quite graceful with her mid-air attacks. She winced in preparation for yet more facial pain. Celestia, however, smiled upon her. A figured darted through the air and smashed Lyra into the grass.
The rescuer faced Trixie, two hardened eyes staring back at her. He was a very stocky figure. The rain clinked off his full suit of armor.
“Reinforcements have arrived.”
I almost forgot this story exsisted
Yu-Gi-Oh reference. I died.
It would be nice to see Shining but he would never say "Reinforcements have arrived". Maybe Guard #234 or Guard #71 but I hope it's someone we have alreade seen sometime.
I know what she is doing, but it is a rather vague description.
This comma isn't needed; commas only go in-between descriptors when they are not dependent on order (i.e. you can swap them around and it wouldn't change the meaning). Item 6
These sentences are all missing formatting; the quotes should be curly instead of vertical, and the double hyphens should be dashes. Presumably you pasted this into Word and forgot to double-check it
In a list of three or more, the final two items are usually separated by "and". The third comma is usually optional, provided you are consistent.
wrong quote types
The "effectively" doesn't seem necessary
Not sure what this is trying to say... "thin excuse for a pegasus" perhaps?
I think you meant "easy" instead of "difficult"
Kind of a vague way to describe it. "that quivering yellow pile" is a bit easier to picture, though obviously it carries different connotations.
Also, the scenes with the raincloud (both Twilight forming it and its arrival in the Everfree) could use more description; we don't get a sense of its size or a real feeling of how dangerous it is. It's a bit too abrupt to be dramatic.
Aside from these small complaints, another nice chapter. I love the back-and-forth between Twilight and Trixie; quite lol-worthy.
Keep up the good work
LOL
Am I the only one to find this obsessed Twilight cute?
Trixie has found Twilight's weak-spot: tardiness!
It's scary how quickly Twilight falls into the world domination role. Repressed desires, maybe?
For a character that had one, maybe two lines in the show, Lyra has quite a mouth on her. And eager to please it seems!
Leave it to Derpy to make escaping seem so pointless and yet so effortless. A mare has to have her muffins!
Trixie may be playing it by hoof, but she's certainly getting results. Wildcard indeed.
And her little moment with Fluttershy was cute!
Wow, so Twilight now has a means of tracking Trixie wherever she goes. Great. As if she needed another advantage.
Pffft, yeah right, Trixie. You're too far gone now. You have let yourself become consumed utterly by the Magic of Friendship. It's tyrannical grip laughs at Twilight's petty attempt of absolute control, and it forces you to act against basic survivalist instincts like "self-preservation" when those close to you are in danger. There is no cure. There is no resistance. You will never escape. Surrender, Trixie.
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i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/063/491/my_trap_card.jpg
Torappu Hatsudosuru!
Okay, I'll stop.
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Derpy is a mare of high endurance and reliability. She is easy to underestimate. If you should come in contact with her, we urge you to give her a muffin and do not in any other way attempt to engage her. Contact the authorities immediately.
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To each their own tags. And I did have a speed upgrade this time. Well, somewhat. I think I can do better.
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Fluttershy is nothing if not very zen.
Glad you enjoyed it!
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Actually, with a high enough quantity, it would solve world hunger, and world peace can be achieved with sleeping medicine induced batter.
So they really solve every problem.
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It's what I'm here for: to bring back painful memories.
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If you're dead, I'm going to have to have you sign some sort of non-liability paper. I can't get sued over this sort of thing again. I simply don't have the money for it. Nevertheless, I'm glad you enjoyed the reference.
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I can confirm that it's not Shining Armor. I can also confirm that it's not a pony seen before. So yes, I'm headed into the dreaded... OC Territory!
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Oh, my. My my my. I'm used to having some errors (and I didn't even think about the formatting difference) but that is quite a few more mistakes than I like to see coming from a chapter I proofread several times.
Well thank you exceedingly, exceedingly much. It was very generous of you to take your time to point those out to me.
Glad you enjoyed the dialogue. Hopefully next chapter around you won't be able to find as many errors, but we'll see. I am ever plagued with clumsiness.
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Twilight is cute in just about all forms, so this is very understandable. I mean, I'd let her be my empress.
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When Twilight looks out upon the world, all she sees is an ocean of inefficiency.
Lyra is simply excitable, that's all (and possibly in need of a therapist).
Trixie always gets results. They might not be beneficial results but they are results.
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Keep in mind, however, Trixie has an inherent upperhand– she's Trixie.
Trixie would never succumb to the mind-bending power of friendship magic at least not in public.
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No need to stop. I started the reference train, so I take full responsibility for its subsequent trip down the tracks.
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Okay. Did you all know that there's a Yugioh card named Celestia? And that there's a Crystal pony card? And that the dude in my avatar is made of crystals, and is in some form a terrible despot like Sombra? And that, in the meme, the dude is activating the trap card from his hand, and the only monster in the game that can let you do so is banned so he's either a dirty cheater or playing traditional format? And that Wizards of the Coast sued Upper Deck over the name of Magic Cards, forcing the English printings to refer to them as Spell Cards? And that --
I'm feeling faint. I'll stop now.
I wouldn't describe Shining Armor as "stocky" so I have no idea who this could be.
2741680 Not sure if just creepy face, or sexual innuendo...
2742380 Sorry, but I can sign things if i'm dead... though I guess I can't type either.
2742380
Friendship is not intimidated by Trixie's Trixieness. It has toppled giants and conquered kings. It can not be bargained with. It doesn't feel remorse or pity or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until Trixie has kindly agreed to take care of Fluttershy's animals while she goes on a much needed vacation to Neighagara Falls. There is no hope. Love and tolerance awaits.
Derpy ALWAYS flies upsidedown.
What manner of sorcery is this? Another chapter, so quickly?!
Every line of Trixie is just pure gold I gotta say.
Though lyra is a close second. be careful though, other POVs can be a useful tool but you have to bw wary of diluting the experience.
Gosh darnit I hate typing on my phone.
Keep at it.
“Reinforcements have arrived.”
Looks like things are finally going to go Trixie's way.
Which means that Trixie's suffering will soon get a lot worse doesn't it?
I love Twilight's plans for hyper-organized despotism. Her trains will definitely be running on time.
2742380 Not Shining, huh? Dang, I was having preparatory flashes to Episode III.
YOU WERE MY SISTER!
Amulet or not, I hope Twilight will get a good punishment at the end of the story. My personal favorite: behead her, off with her head!
You know, this story gives me mixed feelings. It's written extremely well, and you really know how to write comedy, but the story itself gives me goosebumps. Really, sometimes I just have to stop reading because my mind can't handle it anymore. Maybe I'm just too scared of a crazy Twilight.
Also, something tells me Celestia and Luna will also be enlightened by Twilight, and Trixie's going to save the day.
EDIT: This story even gave me a nightmare. Everything was the same, except that the ponies were humans and replaced by people I know. I was being chased by mind controlled minions and for some weird reason Tywin Lannister from the TV-serie Game Of Thrones was Twilight. Eeyup, dafuq? No story has ever given me a nightmare before, good job, you're the first who managed to do that.
One last thing, if this story would take a darker turn (I seriously hope not) then this song would fit perfectly:
Anyway,
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I don't know, Shining is a little stocky, I think. Maybe not Big Mac level. Anyway, 'tis a moot point for it's not Shining.
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denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw1225_let_the_friendship_flow_through_you_1.jpg
Oh dear Luna, Trixie taking care of Flutter's animals? Either call the ESPCA or an ambulance. It could go either way.
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Glad it was worth it! And Derpy actually doesn't even fly. She simply moves through the air. Somehow.
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Whatever kind of sorcery it is, I want to find its source. The faster I can become, the better.
Good to know you liked the dialogue, the bread and butter of this story. I plan on keep the perspective amongst the three primary characters: . Hopefully that was a wise decision.
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Not, um, not necessarily...
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Ruling a country is pointless if you can't do it perfectly. Not only will her trains run on time but you better bet that they'll be leaving at times that ensure a maximum passenger load and that enable ponies to get to work on time, all arranged down to the second to ensure the flow of transportation throughout Equestria is never too slow at any point and that there are no bottlenecks.
No epic family duel, I'm afraid, and I doubt there will be any lava. Twilight might get injured and have to wear a breath mask and suit for the rest of her life, though, who knows.
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Oh my, I just mentioned permanent bodily injury, now we're getting to beheading? Poor, evil, corrupting Twi.
My, my, scary? Nightmares? I really am betraying that Comedy tag, aren't I? Should I take this all as a compliment or a sign that I should tone it down?
That is a very unique-styled song. I don't plan on making the story any darker than this, but that's definitely going in my hoard of dramatic songs.
2773875 I suppose by the strict definition of stocky, but indicated in most definitions is the implication that a stocky person is solidly built and short.
2773885
(From Dictionary.com)
Stocky
stock·y
[stok-ee]
adjective, stock·i·er, stock·i·est.
1. of solid and sturdy form or build; thick-set and, usually, short.
A fair point, indeed. My vocabulary knowledge has been improved this day.
2773913 On another note, how about that sentence in my last comment? That there? That was a thing of horror. Did I really write that florid, sesquipedalian shit?
"indicated in most definitions is the implication..." WTF?
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I like that song. Thanks for the reminder! IT'S TIME LILILI-LILILILILILISTEN
2773875 Right now you're surfing between dark and comedy. Dark comedy, perhaps? Anyway, this story is good, it's a gem, and you should keep it that way.
2773875 Derpy uses the Warp Star.
I was wondering were this story went
So Twilight was just an hologram? Ha, nice red herring my friend, really took me off guard.
As for the rest just as good, a nice look at the more deranged aspects of Tyrant Twiligh, together with the rest of the mane 6, crazy loyal Lyra is just best Lyra, and Trixie, as always, just a ton of fun, trying to keep her "I don't give a shit" attitude in front of Flutters and Twilight, but slipping by her real self once shit hits the fan.
However, I did feel that Derpy's role in this chapter was more for getting her out of the picture as quickly as possible, instead of being a more integral part of the story like last time, sure, she served her purpose, but her departure was so early on I can't help it.
With that said, the introduction of the Royal Guard can really lead to some fun moments, and I can't wait to see Celestia and/or Luna's reaction to the whole ordeal, that is, if they do show up.
Aw, snap! This story just keeps getting better and better.
2788245 if that's a Kirby reference then she should suck ups celestia and luna to get a random power 10000000x as strong as twilight
Background ponies are getting some luvin' in this story. Insane ham Lyra for one, but Derpy especially, flying upside down
Thinking about it a little bit more, I guess it makes sense for Twilight to actually mind-control everypony, given her use of the Want It Need It spell in Lesson Zero.
I wonder if Trixie being able to back-trace Twilight's communication array is supposed to be impressive or not, but it did surprise Twilight at least.
Derpy must of had Danger Zone playing in her head while fighting off those bogeys, because there’s literary no other way to win that dogfight. Hope a couple of Fox’s got exchanged, but I don’t think pony air is that advanced yet.
And of course the reinforcements arrive right on que, this is so over for the All-Seeing Eye!