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57w, 2dto whom it may concern (apology)42 comments · 2,268 views
it's no secret that i'm a completely stuck up asshole.
wait, let me start over.
it's no secret that i take writing—including fanfiction especially—way too seriously. for most people, writing words about cartoon horses is a hobby, a minor creative outlet, a way to have fun. to me, it's been a way of life. i guess that's the side effect of making it my sole means of creativity for a while.
as such, it's not uncommon that i've espoused a volatile opinion here or there, or said something that stepped on someone's toes in some way or another. i don't mean to imply any inflated sense of worth or importance on myself here—but people have gotten mad at me for various reasons, i've gotten mad at them for just as many, and there have been times where fanfiction, something that's supposed to be wonderful and cheerful, has been miserable.
one of those instances (or several of them, really) has been in regards to 'riffing'. i have to say, as i've said before, that i don't have anything inherently against the concept of a 'riff'—in the same way that i can look at something dumb on the internet or tv and laugh at it with friends, i think sharing in the communal mockery of something in good spirits can be fun. i've never really enjoyed Mystery Science Theater 3000, or Rifftracks, but i understand why people would, and am ready to accept they're just not for me.
what i have a problem with, however, are riffs that constitute little more than personal attacks, or even just reductive, repeated commentary about quality. when people riff something, the idea is to make jokes about the content; references, allusions, or taking the absurd qualities of the content and using them as a launching point for observations. it's not to relentlessly mock the perceived quality of something. watching a movie and saying 'holy cow this is shitty' isn't funny—it's just simple-minded and uninteresting, and the same can be said of writing. that's why i had a problem when reading 'riffs' on some of my stories; repeated things like 'wow look at these big words this guy sure is full of himself', mocking the quality of the writing, word-choice, sentence structure—all of those things should be separate from the premise, which is kind of the point of making fun of something in that way. i don't feel like people 'got it'.
that said, this isn't me giving a dissertation on what comedy is. it's meant to be an apology. for as much as i can say i have justifiable reason to have lashed out at the people who have 'riffed' my stuff in the past, i don't want to hold a grudge anymore. i feel like a creator lashing out because of a perceived insult against themselves or their work is a lot more justifiable than personal attacks over a perceived grandiloquence—but that's not really the issue.
i want to say i'm sorry. i take myself too seriously. i take writing, and especially fanfiction, too seriously. i don't want to harbour any ill will to people who were using my stories as a vessel to have fun, or to make other people laugh. while i fully believe my reactions were not entirely unreasonable, the extent to which i construed mockings of my work as a personal attack is not acceptable. while things turned into legitimate personal attacks later, i feel if i had started out on the right foot and not blown up by being overly sensitive in the first place, things would have gone much better in the long run.
to that end: people reading this who i've pissed off in this fashion—i'm sorry. consider this a wholesale apology. i'd like very much to bury the hatchet and go to bed knowing i'm bowing my head and wishing to make amends to anyone i've wronged in this fashion.
if there are any people from this group that i have blocked, please find some way to let me know and i will be happy to unblock you. please take full license to make fun of my stories as much as you want in whatever fashion, though again i will say that i feel the difference between mocking the content and mocking the author is what makes a good joke.
if you're unwilling to accept my apology, i understand, but would like to extend it regardless.
and, to anyone who has no idea what the fuck i'm talking about, is wondering why i'm not posting more porn, or who just wants me to shut up—sorry to you guys too. i'll stop typing here.
58w, 5dnevermind26 comments · 1,039 views
59w, 2dnot with a bang, but a whimper22 comments · 952 views
expect horseporn in a couple days
also possibly other things.
after that, i dunno.
4 comments · 791 views
i haven't made a blog post in a while because i'm dead inside but i don't feel like talking about that right now
IBP posted a new story just now that i'd like to pimp because i edited a good chunk of it. i forgot to give it a final oversight, but it had made some major progress last i checked, and even though i hate anthro, it involves a naked Applebloom getting filled with a million dicks, which is okay in my book.
go check it out if you need something to sate your masturbatory longing without me actually writing anything. IBP's a good kid. he needs your vote to become president of the horsepornography republic. stay staunch, comrades.
13 comments · 475 views
as seems to be the custom when these things happen, i'm obligated by ethereal demand to say that A Single Step was posted to the Ponyfiction Vault. you can click on that linky thing to read my interview, super-extra-special-early edition—and of course, next week, the one that everyone will see will go up on fimmyfics proper.
i'd always kind of hoped or dreamed that something i'd write would get the nebulous honor of some guy saying 'this is pretty good'. like all goals in life, i have to say the euphoria that came with it was kind of fleeting—but, that being said, it makes me sort of happy when i think about it, if for nothing more than saying that i've contributed something worthwhile to a community i care about.
Bad Horse wrote this blog thing about 'Why we write?' for One Man's Pony Ramblings. he originally asked for my help putting the post together, but scrapped the stuff i came up with when it wasn't easy to fit it cohesively with his own writing; i don't know if i'll get permission to post my own essay on the same topic, or what. in any case, it's a subject i thought was worth discussing, and Bad Horse is a cool dude who says neat things. so go check it out, if you feel like it. if i get the okay, i may share parts of my version later.
lastly, my favorite ponyfiction author in the world AP wrote a story about... well, it's pretty obvious. it made me really upset to read but that's good because life is a process, and if we run from the things that upset us we'll never overcome them. i can't say it was as impactful as Pink, Blue, and Ivory, but i think it's a meaningful story that people should read anyway. herein lies the link
to anyone wondering about new stories: i'm having a bit of a rough spot. life is really tough and shitty right now and honestly i feel like my stomach is eating me from the inside out. i've gotten scraps and half-finished drafts of about five or six stories right now (mostly porn), but can't convince myself to finish any of them. i dunno how long this new block'll last, or what will make it go away, but i promise i'll try hard to put out some new content when i can get over my shitt feelings.
thanks everyone for reading, as usual.
catch you on the flip side.