You are on a roll, aren't you darf?

God dammit darf

dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png
Edit: Why am I getting dislikes when I thought the story was fucking awesome?
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Holy crap! Complete already?! So reading this NOW.

Damn, that was fast. Reading now...

Huh. Wow. That was really good.

I really do appreciate stories likes this one that's more than just clop, and I think you pulled it of really well. The 'turning point' or whatever was a bit sudden though, but eh, it's pony porn.

i actually said "WHY" out loud

Can't help but feel this really needs a Dark tag.

This was a cumulation of everything great I've come to expect from you. Even though it was HiE, and even though it was underage, I still felt provoked by it (and I don't mean sexually).

It really made me think. I felt like the character was really relatable, and then I watched him go down this path to basically madness. Kind of scary, but definitely well done.

This is my favorite story by you so far. Really great job.

I feel bad now.

1944662
Perfect use of that song.

Another Story.
Commence read.

Foal Foolin, challenge accepted.

Damn was this Good! Really Really Good! I may just take a look at the rest of your stories if they are all as well written.

Why on earth isn't this tagged dark?

This is one of the darker fics on this subject that I've read. Honestly not really sure how I feel about the story itself, but the writing is quite good at least!

I think this is one of your best stories yet

When I saw this I was expecting something completely different, yet was also expecting exactly what I just read. Very good writing overall and I must say you appealed to two of my fetishes without making it obvious. Please make more.

This was a good story, but i haveone question, what happened to the other two, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon?

(Joke) Alt. Title: The Hot Clop Polka: (I Can Get Some) Featured Foalcon

*takes of his glasses*... *puts his Scotch down on the table*... *stands up from his Arm chair*.... *Bows wordless before you*

Fave+thump up+follow

No, what the hay.
What the bloody fuckin hell is this?!
Although it was well written, that there was a plot behind all that and all...
Just, what the fuck?
That ending and... It just all sounded like Evangelion's end.
Sorry buddy, but u lost me on this one.

I mean, the plot's interesting, the characters are okay but... Dunno, I don't think it's even a fetish or something? It just sounds like a story without goal or something... Well, it does have a message, that humans with power WILL rape childs.
Or maybe I didn't got the sense (Which is more than possible of course.)
But even if I was excited about a story coming from u with more that 10k words, I didn't found the passion/excitation/arousal whatever u name it, u had from other stories.

I like it when u talk about taboos.
That's clearly why so many peoples love many of your stories.
But this one's too weird for me I think.
Well, I'm just crying coz it's a "fake" happy ending and all and/or that I prefer Scootaloo over Applebloom or shit but I really hope the next one will bring more emotions or something...?

Just keep writing.

I just wonder why, but it seems pointless.

okay.............my brain is still trying to apprehend what i've just read............it probably never will.........still good story........albeit pretty dark......still good though *shudders*

Damn it, that ending. I was honestly enjoying all this until that faithful decision gets made. And I thought maybe my assumptions were wrong, but they weren't. Still not a bad story - certainly has some good writing. I don't even think it needs a dark tag really. Still... I guess there's a reason why there's no romance tag on this.

That was truly wonderful. There are so few well-wrttien multi-chaptered foalcon stories out there. Love the realistic HIE experience from Jason; there is vagina everywhere, why does no one seem to notice? I am very appreciative of the existence of this story.

You have a new fan sir!

1955420 Uh...the tag is right there, next to "Human". I agree it's not justified, but it exists.

Edit:

I don't even think it needs a dark tag really.

It's about mind-control-induced rape of three fillies. What else does it take to justify that tag, exactly?

Anyway, why?

No, in all honesty, why? That last chapter managed to destroy all the goodwill the story had managed to build as a more realistic depiction of what goes on in a foalcon's mind, à la "Lolita", and then pile on some more ill-will to boot. This ending is not just bad. It's morally reprehensible and vile to let the perpetrator of long-term, enduring rape get away scot-free. What kind of message is that supposed to send, exactly? "You're all assholes if you enjoyed this, but don't worry, no one will get you for it"? "Lolita" would have sparked far more outrage than it did, and never have become the classic that it is, if Humbert actually got Dolores in the end, brainwashed and sex-crazed. What was the point of that?

Downvoted. I don't often do this, especially not to stories I started out liking, but this guy is among the biggest Karma Houdinis in pony fanfiction, right up there with the title character in "Cheerilee's Garden". I hated that fic utterly, and this one is worse in that it showed signs of promise ("CG" was utter garbage from the word go). Thank you and farewell.

1958452
I totally did not see the romance tag there.
As for the dark tag... I'm going to stick with my answer and say no to it. Yes it's mind control inducing sex - in truth it could be darker. Honestly this is not dark; Jason could have included some humiliation play and that would have made this dark. The mind control is a cop out to less icky foalcon, because no foal is being hurt, they're just being used. There is actually a difference. But hey, that's just my opinion. I'm most likely pretty desensitized to things involving porn. I felt what DT and SS were doing was dark, but if the focus is on Jason and how he handles his inner conflict, it isn't actually dark IMO.

Also, this story is not Lolita. It's not even close. The mind control really ruins everything, including any likeabilty Jason has with the reader. He doesn't get a relationship with AB, he enslaves her, and Humbert never does that with Dolores. Their relationship was back and forth - he never forces himself on her, and Dolores does have a measure of power over him. In the end, Humbert is shown to actually love her, but he knows it's a love that can't work or go anywhere after he's tried to make it work. Jason here... there was no hope. Apple Bloom never shows a real interest in him, never uses him in anyway. She's a victim, and the mind control is just such a cop out... it's like eating a really good steak and drinking a very bad red wine.

So that's the point you ask? I can't speak for the author, but I can tell you why I gave this a thumbs up despite why I hate the way this story ends. The whole point of any story is to make an emotional connection with the reader. Even though you don't like it, you made an emotional connection and cared about the events that happened. Sure we wanted things to end differently, but they didn't, and the author still got us reading the whole thing and talking about it. That alone makes the author a good one, and it makes this story well-written. You say it's morally reprehensible and vile... would you feel the same way if there was no mind control, and Jason actually wins AB's heart and still gets paint her face white with jizz? You might have missed it, but as soon as Jason made it clear his thoughts were on making AB his personal cock sleeve, there was no chance in hell that there would be any romance coming from him, and I really believe that was intentional on the author's part. This is why I like the story, despite its ending. It's a shame you didn't like it, but to each their own I guess. Hopefully I made my point and didn't just rant on here (I should really write my own clop someday)

1960501 First off, I'm astonished to get this calm a response to my post. I've been slammed on other stories for far less brutal bashings. Thank you.

As for the story: Just because it triggers emotion doesn't mean it's good. I hated "Cheerilee's Garden", but that doesn't mean I thought it was good. There are quite a few songs that I wouldn't call boring that I hate. Just because the ending to Mass Effect 3 stirred up a massive controversy doesn't mean it was any good. The emotion I felt at the end was anger at the writer for failing to grasp the consequences of using the material the way he did, and that's usually not the intent behind any artistic endeavour; you're supposed to forget the middleman, not fume at him for botching his art this badly.

It's debatable whether "obnoxiously vile" is any better than "bland and boring", but I tend towards a no on that. And no, I don't believe this story would have been any better had AB gone through with all this voluntarily, because that would have been disingenuous; you can't paint a halfway realistic picture of a molester and then fulfill his fantasies on a voluntary basis. But letting him off scot-free and effectively still giving him just that is equally bad. This story is trying to have its cake and eat it; it attempts to be titillating while painting the whole thing as morally reprehensible. That doesn't work, and it's the reason I consider this story a failure. I honestly prefer something like the Hotsauce CMC clopfics to this, depraved as they might be, because they don't pretend to be anything they're not. They're equally as fetishy, and about three times as unrealistic in their depiction of minors as hot nymphos, but they never attempt to take any sort of moral high ground at least.

1960619
This is where we just have a difference of opinion. I think the worst thing a story can do is be boring. Even if the reader hates it, I would say that at least there was a memorable response. But again that's just me - I think I personally would rather a reader hate my story than just stop reading because he or she got bored, because that means I failed to get my message across. Again, to each their own in that regard. I'm just glad I didn't come off as ranty and preachy in that post.

I think I need to go find Cheerlie's Garden now. I'm really curious to see if it's as bad as you say.

And no, I don't believe this story would have been any better had AB gone through with all this voluntarily, because that would have been disingenuous; you can't paint a halfway realistic picture of a molester and then fulfill his fantasies on a voluntary basis.

I would argue that it wouldn't be disingenuous if AB was an active, voluntary partner in this illicit relationship. Read "The Bells Toll for Love" by Deathsia and maybe you'll agree. The relationship works if both parties have equal power. Now age plays a roll in this and you can argue that AB would never be an equal partner in such a pairing because of her age... but there are ways around that. It depends on how you write her character and how much focus you put on her background. It's not impossible is what I meant to get at. Nothing in writing is impossible.

1960721 I agree that it can be made to work, even with the age gap, but the story never tried and, I think, never was supposed to try. This is why I'd consider it disingenuous if it turned around and made AB a willing participant - not because it would be impossible, but because it would be completely out of nowhere.

Edit: Oh, and "Cheerilee's Garden" is torture porn. I hate that genre in the first place and only got around to reading the story because of an MSTing, which made me so angry at the source material that I went and downvoted it. First and only time that has ever happened, but by God do I stand by that decision.

Second Edit: Trouble is, if I hate your story from, say, chapter three, I won't continue reading. The net effect is the same no matter whether you're boring-bad or rage-inducing-bad; I stop reading. That didn't work here because the rage-inducing part came at the very end.

So anybody explain to me the last few paragraphs because I don't understand

This was remarkably executed, and I can honestly say I've never read anything quite like it before. You gained my respect for having the balls to write something this controversial. Well excellent story, definitely one of my favorites. Although I do feel horrible for Apple Bloom, as she's the victim in all this. The ending with her pretty much being turned into a sex slave for Jason, is a punishment that would have been better served for Diamond Tiara.

What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets!

it was well written, and i liked the general concept about what was going on from the beginning, but, well, i hated the ending, frankly. Just a bit too fucked up for my tastes.

I came prity hard when he was fucking DIamond Tiara. Good job, but I ended up skimming over most of the story. Alot of it was needless and boring details. Get to the sexy foal sex already!

For me this would have been a happy ending if he stopped using the wooden amulet and from then on thier escapades were mutual. Then, even though it was morally messed up (which the character admitted to himself) at least I would've felt like, well, at least true (but very flawed) love came on top in the end. No pun intended.
I like the idea that maybe applebloom was happy and in love with this...predicament...I would still cry cuz it's applebloom and she lost some of her childhood, but in the old testament days, prolly wasn't that uncommon. PS Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon: Did they die? Where are they? Does he continually use them too or just intimidate them into not ratting him out? Does he ever want to use it on Cheerilee?
1947706 Interesting use of references there, Drill SGT. "Give up the Ghost." ? Made sense actually. I agree with the fact that you don't have to agree with the moral to appreciate other points of it-which none of them were condoning it, I think. Interesting choice of words by saying "Almost pitiable. ALMOST."

PS some of the earlier chapters had hilarious quotes. I'm gonna have to skim over them again, write them down, and then tell them to certain people.

1979495
not to get too much into the backend of the story, but there is an intent to make the reader question applebloom's level of consent without the use of the idol. given the situation, i can't see jason realistically abandoning usage of the thing that made his fantasies real, because of course he'd never expect applebloom to willingly consent to anything... but you're right that there's meant to be an inkling of that suspicion there. i'm not sure which way it would go if i decided to have the story attempt to end that way, but you're along the right track.

also, though unspoken because it would muddy the story's conclusion, dt and ss probably were just told to forget about everything and go back to the way things were, though maybe just to leave applebloom/jason alone as well

It was good at first, but then the last couple of chapters completely ruined it. I could go into great detail and many paragraphs, but honestly? I don't really care enough.

More or less, I feel cheated. The lack of any kind of tag makes the last several chapters even worse than they would have been, because it was all pointless. I'm tempted to dislike it just for not having the right tags, because at least that way I wouldn't have wasted all my time. What makes it all worse was the obvious deus ex machina thrown in to force everything to happen, and any explanation as to how it would make any sense at all is just handwaved. Badly. Sorry, but I just didn't like it.

To be fair, it was good aside from the last few chapters. Though like I said, that just makes it worse for me.

Oh well, good luck with your next story.

Edit:

I feel it only right to add that incorrect categories is a valid reason to report a story. And the tags here are definitely incorrect. I'm not going to report it, but someone else could easily report it if they felt like it.

I like this story despite it's rather controversial subject matter, I find the characters involved real and easy to sympathize with (the protagonist especially seeing as I went through a similar phase at one point in my life, though admittedly I was in middle school at the time and my paramours were age-appropriate I can at least understand the feeling of a lust so gnawing it drives one over the brink of insanity and back again), and I find myself hoping beyond hope that something in this situation is redeemable, that Apple Bloom truly is a consenting partner, and that the protagonist is not in fact the depraved devil he makes himself out to be; certainly the varying reactions of the three fillies to the compulsion seemed to support that theory (AB was enthusiastic and veritably pleased as punch, DT was reluctantly resigned, but also intrigued and more than a little turned on by the whole situation, and SS was only interested in the loosest sense of the word), beyond that the fact that instead of dining on a depraved buffet of filly flesh, or even living out his fantasies with the crusaders and various other ponies he seems to stick exclusively to Apple Bloom, he even let Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon off the proverbial hook (believe me, they got off relatively easy in this fic, their fate could have been much, MUCH worse), finally most of his commands seemed rather benign in nature, and both them and his general demeanor seemed to be heading towards the filly (or fillies) in question making a conscious decision of consent.

You should add a happy ending.

Sequel please ?
This is the one Clopfic with a Story that is interesting and has the potential to deal with a real issue .

I would like to read some non-clop stuff from you Mister, you can really write some Dark shit .

What is that black thing in the discription? Is that intentioal or does the site do that to censor?

Eh. Clop was good. Don't see much reason for the other stuff to be there. He never really fought any of his impulses it seems. He had the expected hesitance and the awkward feeling of someone being dropped in the middle of a nudest colony and forced to live there. After that kinda wore off there wasn't much internal turmoil. He saw Applebloom, he wanted to fuck her, and he did everything shy of actually fucking her until Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon put her in a trance and forced the circumstances and he went through with it with no hesitation. I don't think he held off because of some inner turmoil that it was wrong to lust after a filly. It was more there wasn't opportunity shy of just outright raping her.

I liked the conflict between Jason and Diamond Tiara. Not much else to note there other than her and Silver Spoon just disappear after the last chapter. What did he do with them? I assume he has them in the same state as Applebloom.

The clop was excellent, but the story that existed outside that wasn't all that interesting since there really was no inner turmoil and the conflict between Jason and Diamond Tiara was short lived.

This story should have a dark tag though since it does end on a rather dark note. Not sure why the romance tag is there o.O. The guy has Applebloom under the effect of the statue and is now his mindless sex toy (probably did the same thing with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon) and he's sort of in this delusional state of mind where because they act like it's what they want then it's okay, but he knows that he's wrong. Quite the fucked up ending, and I like it. It would be nice to see a sequel, I can't see him going on like this forever without getting caught or maybe even growing bored with Applebloom.

~Have a good one.

Well, this was one of your more squick-inducing fics, Darf....I felt kinda dirty after reading it
Then again, I guess that was the point, in which case, you accomplished your goal
Keep writin' ya crazeh bastard!

lolita in equestria?

I have to say, I actually enjoy reading the struggles he deals with in morality. It starts off subtly, but then he's noticing mares walking about clothesless. For them, they don't think about it, it's totally socially, culturally acceptable, but for a human, where clothing is required by law and to be socially acceptable.

Then the moral struggle as he uses Twilight as masturbatory material, when she's his hostess and housing and feeding the xeno/ human. Then moves onto Cherilee, before focusing on Applebloom and the other fillies, but specifically Applebloom. His struggle between his morality and lust as he finds himself attracted to prepubescent pony pussy.

The point where he makes his moral mistake is to immerse him in an environment full of his vice, even though his moral compass is indicating that the path he's taking is morally reprehensible. He set himself up, really for the consequences which follow later with Diamond and Silver blackmail attempt. The lustful looks, the inappropriate touches. It is interesting to note that Diamond as a filly either lacks the maturity or awareness to consider that such looks or touches might be culturally acceptable where he (Jason) comes from.
The lock on the CMC clubhouse reeks of Deus Ex Machina though. Also reading this, I was unclear whether or not, Applebloom is released from the voodoo dolls spell after it changes ownership, or not, so if you choose to edit this, it would be a favor to the readers to work that part out, whether Applebloom is released from her hypnotism or not.

It's interesting to note his progression from morality to morally reheprehensible. Another failing on Jason's part was to keep the voodoo item.