• Member Since 10th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 19th, 2013

A-Woona-Moon


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Source

Searching for gems with Rarity for her newest masterpiece, Spike hopes to find the opportunity to finally tell her how he feels. Just as he hits pay dirt, something happens that will change his life forever. Isolated in the mountains, Rarity must gather her wits to save her friend; will this emergency bring them closer together?

A/N: All critiques are welcome.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 9 )

one thing that you may be able to improve upon is to further explain the mood and tone of certain dialogue... like when rarity asks if she could do better, you should add something like 'with a scowl played across her face'. i dunno, but other than that i found it good.
good luck! oh, and if you need a pre reader, im always (easily) available.:eeyup:

Rarity seems a little on edge. Personally, I'd of asked what is was for as well. It's logical since he had no proper knowledge to go on, but she mentally berates him for something so reasonable. Interesting enough start though.

Finally, a new chapter up. :yay:Since that's out of the way, I can write my thousand-word essay in children's lit and culture. :twilightsmile:How fitting for practice is a ponyfic?:pinkiehappy:

I find it hilarious that Rarity doesn't want to be compared to Twilight. Makes you wonder, what's wrong with Twilight, aside from her occasional willingness to let her appearance go when she's busy?

Spike's smoothness level is sliding down fast, but it might work for him. The ma'am thing's totally gonna bite him in the ass though, even though it was less of a age and more of a respect for a superior thing.

I have no idea what's wrong with this site... but I JUST NOW noticed that there was a new chapter (only because I was looking through my favorites for a story I wanted to re-write, and got permission from the author to do so)

Need to throw in your extra enters. In my experience, it's easier to do them while writing instead of doing it once it's int eh fimfic writing page... thingy.

Wedding!

I didn't know you had continued this story. well I'm glad I found the new chapters.:eeyup:

Wow... It's almost been a year since the wedding hasn't it? how time flies.
anyways, great chapter... hope the new job doesn't keep you from finishing it!
P.S. 19 likes? I'm jealous, my story has like four.:eeyup:

Permaybehaps. My new favorite word.

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