Building Walls, Burning Bridges

by MonolithiuM

[???] The Question

Author's Note:

Author sat at the edge of time, space, and imagination, watching countless other realities fly by like a collective of passing bullet trains. It was bored. So utterly, hopelessly bored. Looking down into the screen that sat upon its lap, it scowled. The frozen scene of Mono punting a kickball into a pegasus’ head infuriated the writer to no end. Author’s blue hands clasped its face as the blue ethereal being screamed in fury. Glaring out over the edge of its own reality, Author spit and knocked another reality out of its path, causing it to veer into another… and another… and… another. Author winced as its action caused the collapse of at least fifty other realities.

A pop and a clicking sound alerted Author to a second presence here at the edge of Creation. Looking backwards, Author’s wispy facial features shifted into a surprised look. You? Oh come on? Can you blame me? There are so many ways for this Championship nonsense to play out, and now you’ve showed up to give me some shit? Really?! The spirit slammed its laptop shut and stood, glaring at the rival spirit in front of it. Golden energy laced Author’s ghostly hands, and the laptop disappeared. Okay, fucker, we do this now.

A silver knight waved his hands frantically, yet he couldn’t speak; not in Author’s plane of reality. Author charged forward, fists bared and shouts deepening in pitch. The knight teleported away, very far away, to escape the being’s wrath. The knight gave a sigh of relief and contemplated leaving, but a flash of golden light punched him in the chest and sent him careening through empty space.

Several hundred thousand realities passed him by in an instant, and soon he collided with one, breaking through it and entering one of the many universes it contained, into a galaxy, into a solar system, and onto a planet, where he busted through it and ended Equestria during its Middle Age. The knight continued on through the solar system, out the galaxy, past the universe, and exploded out of the reality as it imploded. His shaken form was grabbed by the energy-laced hand of Author.

The knight brought to hands up and made the ’T’ symbol for time out, and Author briefly* considered it.

*For all values of briefly reaching zero*

The knight was thrown through a wormhole and landed on the soft grass of Equestria, his entire body sore and enjoying the feeling of the foliage through his armor. It was nice and cool, moisturized by the morning dew and the pleasant chill of the early morning. The knight let out a contented sigh and closed his eyes. The knight felt a sudden pressure and opened his eyes again, only to have them closed for him when a satellite crashed atop him.

“Applejack! Applejack! C’mere quick!”

The knight cracked his eyelids open again and saw Applebloom frantically calling out for her sibling. The filly disappeared in a flash of golden light and ash, and Author landed amongst the powdered filly, scattering her remains in a gale-force wind. A shadowy spirit with red eyes appeared beside Author, its face twisted into an enraged scowl.

You ruined my Applebloom and Babs Seed ship! Why I oughta-!

The spirit was grabbed by its ethereal throat and thrown through a rip in Creation created by Author’s will alone. Author was angry… and bored. This was more fun than it had had in a while. It pointed to the knight and shouted loud enough to obliterate the unshakable apple trees behind him. YOU ARE GOING TO FUCKING KISS A BLACK HOLE.

The knight snickered, taking Author’s threat the wrong way. Author gained a pinkish tint to its wispy face. No. FUCK YOU! Come here! Author picked the knight up and punched him hard enough to propel the knight like an ICBM headed straight toward Canterlot. The knight’s body gained a titanic amount of instantaneous velocity and demolished the entire rock face of the mountain Canterlot was built upon, causing the entire city to fall down with the largest rock slide known to ponykind.

The knight picked himself up from the rubble and received a knee to his chin, rocketing once again out of that particular reality and into the existence where all realities coalesced. Author transported itself beside the rapidly-traveling knight and karate-chopped him down into another reality with a movement so fast that Bruce Lee began rolling in his grave demanding a brawl.

The knight landed between two charging forces: one made of griffins and diamond dogs, the other of ponies. A single pegasus with a large revolver and a wing made of some metal blinked owlishly. “What in the- ?” The pegasus’ head exploded when Author uppercut it directly from a hole in space, Author’s body slowly following its fist. The pegasus’ body collapsed upon the ground.

“Th- That thing killed Clockwo- !”

The mare’s body was liquefied with a snap of Author’s fingers. Do I really need to keep cutting everybody off? It’s getting kind of repetitive. Turning about, Author conjured a huge claymore land mine from a mass of off-white substance and planted it behind him. The detonation wiped out the entirety of the pony defense, letting the griffons and diamond dogs pass through and go on to crush all Equestrian resistance. Author saw so in its mind’s eye.

Turning to face the knight, Author was surprised when a hammer strike knocked it through to another reality in one swing. Dark clouds gathered above a horned mage as he piloted a well-armed machine against a humanoid Princess Celestia. “Holy hell! What the fuck was that?!” the mage and Princess shouted simultaneously. Author rubbed its chin and pushed aside a slab of concreted that had landed atop it. Fucker.

The knight appeared in a flash of blue light and pointed his hammer at Author. I’ve held bigger hammers than that, you fucking pansy-ass! The knight’s shoulders heaved in immature laughter as Author’s eyes narrowed. I hate you. Reaching out, Author ripped the weapons from the evil mage’s war machine and held them aloft with the powers bestowed upon him by go fuck yourself. The knight flew at Author in response and swung his hammer.

It collided with something fleshy and decidedly not suited for such extreme amounts of force, and Celestia’s entire upper body was broken apart at the quark level. The splitting of so many atoms detonated an explosion so fantastic that the two spiritual beings– Author and the knight, of course– spun through the blast cloud of a dying reality and punched into yet another healthy realm ripe for the fucking.

The two traded blows with their fists, landing punches so hard that even as they entered the atmosphere they were igniting it. Far below the rapidly-combusting sky, two humans waved goodbye to a crowd of ponies.

“We’ve lived so long, saw so many pass while we carried on. It’s time we found our place in the universe. Goodbye.” The ponies waved goodbye as Anon and Mous, the two longest-lived beings on Equus, departed them. Mous threw a crystal on the ground and stomped it, opening a portal to another random world. Looking at Anon, Mous smiled and jerked his thumb toward the magic hole. “Let’s go then, shall we?”

LET’S GO, ASSHOLE!

Author and the knight landed upon the two immortal (not anymore) humans and continued to slug it out as the world literally burned around them. Ponies around them found that they could not breathe all of a sudden, a fact which neither affected nor bothered the two beings duking it out, and the ponies’ bodies lit aflame shortly after compressing.

The knight missed a punch and Author took advantage, willing itself and the knight to fall through into another reality. Instead of a planet, the two brawlers found themselves battling in orbit, kicking and punching away. Author grabbed the knight by his feet and swung forward with as much might as it could muster, blowing the moon into millions of shards. The knight spiraled out into space as the green and blue planet’s oceans swallowed up the surface of the world, even as pieces of the moon sailed down to add insult to injury.

Author grabbed the knight and began bashing him in the face with a purplish-black alicorn, which was now noticeably more purplish-black than before due to the bruising. Grabbing the alicorn with two hands, Author pulled back and swung her like a baseball bat, snapping her spine in half and expelling the knight through space and into the sun, which also exploded due to science.

The wormhole its explosion created spit Author and the knight out into Creation again, and Author punched him once more. Author then grabbed the knight and carefully aimed its next throw. Tossing him into another reality, Author snapped its fingers and snatched the knight from his trajectory within said reality. Thousands of massive ships blasted one another in the emptiness of space as a dying star loomed less than a lightyear away.

So, what in the sweet name of Jesus H. Fucking Christ do you want? Author growled at the knight. The knight lazily brought his head up, making sure to look Author dead in its glowing eyes. The knight pulled up a stack of papers clipped together, the huge words ‘BWBB CHAPTER 28’ on its front cover. Speaking in a hoarse, pained voice tinted with age, the knight asked his question.

“When?”

Hefting the knight over its shoulder, Author catapulted the being past the struggling ships and into the event horizon head first. Glaring at the disappearing knight, Author opened a literal door in the middle of space and stepped through into Creation.

Soon.

Chill.

Comments

[W0lfR0ck]

What did I just read?

[8rawrbear8]

Love it

[MonolithiuM]

5130227 A promise.

[MonolithiuM]

5130336 And I love you.

[Fireeaters]

NOOOOOOOOOOO! Not the BROS!!!!

[MonolithiuM]

5622345 someone got it

[Fireeaters]

5622876 I have that story saved to my phone!

[MonolithiuM]

5622881 Great story. Haven't read the latest chapter, actually.

[Fireeaters]

5622885 I thought that story was complete long ago!

[MonolithiuM]

5622894 Yup. But every now and again the author will add a little something. "Bat Out of Hell" is the last chapter posted, I believe. It's daunting, however, like 18,000 or so words, I think?

[Fireeaters]

5622899 Yeah, but I think its been several months since one was posted.

[PaxMano33]

and held them aloft with the powers bestowed upon him by go fuck yourself.

yes.

and into the sun, which also exploded due to science.

more yes.
this whole thing is a great big yes spot in my life.

[Ass hat]

5130227 beauty