Building Walls, Burning Bridges

by MonolithiuM

Chapter 14- Farewell Canterlot... for Now

"It is a cliche that most cliches are true, but then like most cliches, that cliche is untrue." -Stephen Fry

"Twilight, this is my last day in Canterlot. I actually slept for this, so make sure that whatever you have planned can fit in one day and is actually sensible." I crossed my arms and gave her a sharp glare.

"We'll just be going over physical discrepancies between the pony anatomy and your own. Next, we'll be testing various magical methods on you. Finally, we'll review any unique functions or abnormal abilities you may have."

I crossed my arms and shot her a grin. "Let's do this."

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"Head, shoulders, knees and toes…"

"Knees and toes!" I shouted in a sing-song voice. Twilight gave me a quizzical look that caused me to roll my eyes. "Human thing, don't worry about it."

"So these 'hands' that you have are able to grasp and manipulate objects with extreme precision?" Ugh, these questions… They were so goddamn cliche it hurt. But I had promised this to her and I never go back on a deal, which was an unfortunate moral that had resulted in me going to Ponyville in the first place.

"Yes. The digits attached to the hand are the fingers and thumb. Normally I have four fingers and one thumb."

Twilight stopped writing to give me a confused stare. "But you have four fingers right now…"

I hit her over the head with a book to punctuate each word that I said. "The. Thumb. Is. Not. A. FINGER!"

"Okay okay! I'm sorry!" she apologized quickly, her wing raised to defend herself from my literary ire.

I threw the book to the side and straightened my coat. "Of course you're sorry. Now, note that my junk is located here." I swished my hands around my crotch. "We wear clothes to cover ourselves up, otherwise we're…"

"Indecent?" she cautiously answered.

I snapped my fingers and pointed to Twilight. "Boom. Exactly."

"Your legs also bend forwards at the knees, whilst your center of gravity keeps you aligned correctly with the ground. This sense of balance is thanks to the intricate system of bones and fluid situated in your inner ear. Is that all right?"

"Yup," I confirmed with a nod of my incorrectly-sized head.

"So interesting…" She scribbled down some more words and looked back at me. "Part one of the testing cycles are finished, let's move on to part two."

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"Magic test number one: Levitation."

Twilight lit her horn and her purple aura surrounded me. Without a sound, it popped from existence less than a second later and left me unaffected. She did this three more times before giving up.

"No matter how much strength I pour into the spell, it rolls off of you like rain from a rooftop. Time for a different spell," she said, already charging her horn.

"Magic test number two: Blast."

A cone of wild violet magic thrashed on her horn, fully encompassing it until it was a perfect mold to her horn. "Mono, are you ready?"

"I already know the outcome of this…" I thought, and so I nodded once and rolled my hand.

"Firing in three, two, one… FIRE!"

The magic blast distorted the area around her, sending itself towards me at frightening speeds. I quickly tensed up, and the frightening speed became a boring crawl.

"Oops," I said to myself quietly. I inhaled a deep breath in order to calm myself down and the bolt sped up before striking me in the chest and popping into nothingness. "Exactly as expected."

"Amazing! It's as if you successfully neutralize all magic the second it touches you! We'll move on to how your condition affects different pony races."

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I now stood outside in the courtyard with a few familiar orifices lazing about with me.

Sure Stitch, Shade Flight and Twilight were talking over the specifics of the experiment, while I sat there doing absolutely nothing but thinking about my upcoming predicament.

"I can't believe I have to go back to elementary school with ponies… This is gonna be ridiculous."

I can't remember everything I thought about, but I'm about seventy percent positive acts of violence and aggression were included in the thought process. My name being called, however, snapped me out of it and allowed me to return to the debatably-real world.

"Okay Mono, first you'll be riding on Doctor Stitch's back while she kicks this scale that measures force. She'll kick once before you're on her back and once after. I'll compile that data and then ask Doctor Stitch to operate a door knob with her hoof. After she does so, she will do so again with you on her back, got it?"

"Ride the pony, blah blah blah, doorknobs and kicking. Yeah, I'm good." I gave a little wave and she brought her pad back to her attention.

"Alright, begin Earth Pony test one, now."

Sure Stitch approached a large padded square and reared around. She kicked with all her might, and the machine attached to the pad actually tilted back off of the ground. It rocked back forward with a thud, and Twilight checked a screen on its back.

"One thousand two hundred pounds of force," Twilight stated. She wrote down the number in her pad and I hopped atop Sure Stitch. "Earth Pony test one, take two with Mono."

I held on tight as she spun around and bucked the pad with considerable speed. Twilight checked the reading and did a double take.

"Two hundred and four pounds of force." The pad went back in front of her snout and she began scribbling hastily. "The magic behind an Earth pony's strength is completely neutralized during contact with Mono Nucleosis."

"You're damn straight it's neutralized," I stated proudly, my chest puffed out and a grin on my face.

"Sure Stitch, how do you feel?" Twilight asked the castle doctor.

The earth pony rubbed her forehead with a hoof. "My body feels heavier, on top of that I feel cold. Freezing cold in fact," she elaborated.

"But it's the middle of the summer, that's not possible." Twilight looked up into the sky and squinted.

I thought back to all the times that a pony had made physical contact with me. Each one had shivered, as if a breeze had rolled in just then. "Huh. So it was me…"

"What's that Mono?"

I explained to Twilight all of the instances that I had made physical contact with a pony and how they had reacted. Every time I had touched a pony, their teeth would chatter and a shiver would run through their body like a particularly strong and chilly breeze had rolled through the area.

"Interesting… Oh, you also managed to send Lyra Heartstrings flying down the street. How, exactly, did you do that?"

To be perfectly honest, I had no idea how I did that in the first place. I made a wild guess and tried to rationalize what had occurred.

"I can only assume that by forcing my arm to vibrate at extremely high speeds, I was able to store kinetic energy behind my punch. When the fist made contact with Lyra, her body wasn't moving as fast as mine and so instead of feeling several hundred punches, her body took them as one solid hit. The kinetic energy must have then transferred and carried her down the street from the force of the impact."

Twilight wrote down every last excruciating detail of what I had said. "Thank you very much, Mono. Next test: Speed Enhancement Properties."

She instructed me to once again hold onto Stitch.

"What you're going to do now, Doctor Stitch, is gallop as fast as you can. Mono, you activate your ability as soon as she begins galloping."

Twilight took to the sky and watched us carefully. "And… go!"

Stitch took off, and I began to coerce my powers from my body. It began as a twitch, then a shiver, and in four seconds I was vibrating. "No noticeable change in movement speed," I thought to myself.

I continued to pool my focus into the ability, which by now felt like a little pedal in the back of my mind. I pushed the pedal down, but she wasn't going any faster. From my perspective, everything was slowing down radically.

I thought back to when I had glomped Sweetie Belle in a burst of ecstatic joy. All I thought about was her. "Is that the trick?" I brought my gaze to the back of Stitch's head and made my thoughts about her. I pictured her face and personality.

In an instant, she was galloping as if she were moving at normal speeds. The only difference, however, was the fact that everything surrounding us was brought to a snail's pace crawl.

We galloped out of the courtyard and through the palace. Down the extravagant hallways we went, watching guards exhale a tired breath or two. Flies slowly buzzing their wings and a glass of water falling from a serving platter. The shocked faces of the servants as the water fell through the air, and the delicious looking pastry situated just by my head.

In a deft skill of movement, Sure Stitch turned tail, trotting back this time around, and we witnessed the water hit the floor and the maid let out a long, drawn out shriek of surprise. The guard slowly finished closing his mouth, and we arrived back in the courtyard.

Feeling accomplished, I eased off the psionic pedal and dismounted Stitch.

Twilight blinked. "Where did you two get off to?"

I ate the pastry in one gulp. "Places."

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"Pegasus test one, take one: flight. Shade, begin."

Shade Flight spread his wings. "Of course, your majesty." He ascended into the air and gave a little wing show to Twilight. He landed and bowed to her promptly.

"Thank you, Shade. Now, Pegasus test one, take two with Mono."

Shade Flight cringed while I hopped atop his back. Instantaneously, his bat facade dropped and I was left staring at a lime-green pegasus with a wild blue mane. He looked back at me with surprised teal eyes.

"Your armor is magic, get over it and fly," I deadpanned.

He spread his wings and began flapping. With a majestic jump, he faceplanted into the dirt.

"Nice going, Guano-for-brains. What's the matter, forgot how to fly?" I taunted the abused Night Guard with a sadistic grin crossing my features.

He mumbled something amidst a mouthful of dirt, but I didn't understand it, nor did I listen for it. I jumped off the poor fool's back and smiled at Twilight.

"Poor sod, he probably can't even live with himself now," I mused.

"Mmf wuffle fuf!"

"Don't worry, buddy, the grass is greener on the other side." Oh, the puns, they hurt me so.

"Fuf ooh."

"Love you too."

He finally pulled his head out of the dirt dramatically and spat out the clumps of dirt and grass from his now-fanged mouth. "That's not what I said! I said fu-!"

CRASH

"Hello Mono! Are you ready for your trip to Ponyville?!" A bouncy mare standing on top of the basket that had just crushed Shade Flight waved jubilantly at me. Her coat was of a bright, eye-gouging yellow and her mane a forest green.

"What the hell is that thing and how does it know my name?" I asked Twilight. As if in response, the newcomer did a front-flip off of the basket and landed in front of me in a deft display of agility. Needless as it may be to say, I was impressed.

"I'm Nanny Joyful, and I'll be taking care of you during your entire stay in Ponyville!" She held open her hooves as if expecting confetti to rain down around her amidst a fireworks show.

"No, seriously, what the hell is this?" I motioned to Nanny Joyful with both hands and looked up at Twilight. The bookworm merely shrugged, clearly not following very closely either.

"Come on, silly! Pack your bags! We're going to Ponyville Schoolhouse very soon!" She got uncomfortably close to my face, which I did not appreciate at all.

"His bags are right here, Miss!" Shining Armor placed my belongings down in front of her and she clapped her hooves. "That fucking traitor…" I grumbled internally.

"Fantastic! I'll just load these right up!"

Twilight turned on her brother. "Shiny! I'm still not done with my experiments!" Shining Armor gave a noncommittal shrug and turned about, successfully ignoring not only his overbearing sister but a highly-esteemed princess.

Before I knew it, I was in the basket and on my way to Ponyville.

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"Wait one goddamn minute! How is this thing capable of flight with me inside?"

I took a moment to look up. It was a hot air balloon. "Oh? Okay."

I'm not very observant.

Author's Note:

Next Chapter: ARC II: Ponyville Pride

*had to add the quote*

Comments

[MonolithiuM]

310939624.media.tumblr.com/f10a13d6c42e90ec5a549c7ab660b947/tumblr_mrmruzxWkt1s1frseo2_250.gif

[Savant Sentral]

3109679 When the fan stuff is higher quality than the original....