Building Walls, Burning Bridges

by MonolithiuM

[ARC II] Chapter 17- Apologies and Clay

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"Apology is only Egotism wrong side out." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

Every kid in class was smiling and chatting when I finally crawled down from the attic of the Schoolhouse. I rubbed my eyes and yawned, sitting in the dead center of the room just as I did the day before.

"Good morning, everypony!" I was far too tired at the time to notice, but the voice came from directly behind me. I yawned once more and took out some books for class, along with my laptop and pencil. Classwork be damned, I was tired as hell and that school bell had given me a raging migraine.

"This sucks. I passed third grade years ago, this is ridiculous. Ah, crap… Do Fancy and Fleur think I'm an underage drunkard?" Well, technically, I was an underage drinker when I consumed the alcohol, but they don't know that. "Why did I do that?"

Why indeed. Thankfully I was spared any ill effects due to my lightning-fast metabolism and resistance to magically-grown barley. Hoo-rah. Still a terrible thing to do though, I'm no role model.

I rested my head on the desk and closed my eyes. "Ugh… I'm so goddamn tired…"

I was then poked repeatedly in the back of the head, the solid hoof digging into my skull every time it collided with my head. It was as if I was the titanic and the hoof was a goddamn glacier, tearing into my steel to try and sink me. What the fuck does that even mean?

"Who wants to die…?" I asked, pulling my head from the desk slowly. I turned around to face a smiling Diamond Tiara. "What do you want, princess?" I scowled, my eyes already growing heavy.

She gave an adorable little giggle and smiled innocently again. "I thought about what you said, and I'm going to try to change my act." She sat there, smiling at my disbelieving face. You better fucking believe I was disbelieving; nobody changes their act that fast. Nobody.

"Okay," I responded simply.

She blinked. "I'm serious! I've already planned my Apology Party for the other fillies and colts in my class! It's in two days!"

"Okay."

"You're not taking me seriously! Will you please?"

"Okay."

"I don't believe you."

"Okay."

"Come on!"

"Okay."

"Why do you keep saying 'okay'?"

"Okay."

"Huh…?"

She eventually found out that my computer had been repeating 'okay' for the past twenty seconds, and she felt immensely stupid. She woke me up finally and asked me to shut down the voice so as her suffering could end.

"Okay," I replied. She gave a frustrated little pout and rolled her eyes, but said nothing in return. Not a thing. "O…kay?"

I turned back in my seat and tapped the space bar, my face stuck in a perplexed expression. "Why isn't she throwing a bitch-fit? Why am I concerned that she isn't throwing a bitch-fit?" I gave a pause. "Why do I give a shit?"

Every jaw in the class dropped and Cheerilee held the bridge of her muzzle in aggravation. I chuckled. "Eh heh heh, sorry everybody. Thinking aloud and whatnot. My bad."

Cheerilee took a breath and returned to the board, writing in chalk the next math problem for the fillies and colts. I looked up at the clock. "Ten fifty-seven? Maybe I'll stay for lunch…"

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I watched the other kids eating their veggies and fruits. And nuts, don't forget the nuts. I was still waiting on Twilight to get her stupid ass to town and bring the meats with her, otherwise I would have cannibalized the children.

No joke, Silver Spoon would make a slammin' porterhouse steak, she got some fat on them flanks.

"Hey, Mono!" Applebloom greeted. She trotted over to me with the rest of the Crusaders and they all sat next to me. My eyebrows immediately lowered and a frown crawled onto my face like an ornery centipede.

"What is it?" I asked. I really didn't want to talk to this hick longer than necessary.

"Cheerilee talked to us, and uh… she's thinkin' about throwin' you out…"

I jumped up and rose a single fist into the air. "Sweet baby Jesus, yes!"

"…but she'll keep you if you can prove you can behave."

"Oh really? So all I have to do is the exact opposite of everything she asks me and I'll be thrown out? I won't have to do this stupid crap! I can get back to Fancy and Fleur!" I thought happily. In my head I dead a little dance to celebrate my advantage of being a total dickhead.

I sat back down quickly and nodded solemnly. "I understand, I'll do my absolute best to behave as I would with my peers."

"That's great! And then you can help us win the Tournament!"

But they didn't know my peers…

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"Alright, everypony-!"

"Ahem."

"-and Mono… We'll be assigning groups of four and working on a quick project!" Cheerilee gave a small smile and I found the Crusaders next to me in the blink of an eye.

"With you on our side, we'll be finished with this project in no time," said Scootaloo. "Yes, no time," I thought deviously.

Cheerilee handed out some directions to each group, and I immediately peeked over Applebloom's shoulder. "We'll be doing clay figurines for the upcoming Tournament, symbolizing the sportsmanship of the Harmonious Sports Tournament. Make sure to include these three themes: sports, unity, and friendship. You may begin at any time."

The clay situated on the table in front of use was not enough for what I had in mind. If I got some more, I could definitely complete my vision.

"But where will I get more…?"

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"Miss Cheerilee!" a colt cried out for his teacher.

"Hmm?"

"Mono took all of our clay!" Cheerilee heard this and face-hoofed promptly. This human really was a hassle, wasn't he? Standing from her desk, she made her way to the Crusaders' table.

All three of the fillies were standing there, staring in awe at the buzzing mass before them. Cheerilee stood stock-still as well, admiring Mono's blazing speed.

He zipped about a massive lump of brown clay, his hands moving at ludicrous speeds while afterimages of his form appeared about the construction. The schoolteacher cleared her throat and Mono stopped shortly afterward, the mound of clay beginning to take some kind of shape.

"Mono. Where are the other children's clay?" she asked slowly. Mono scratched his head absentmindedly.

"Um, I don't know. Maybe they ate it? I bet it was Snails, that jerkass eats everything," he responded. Cheerilee swallowed a curse and a sizable vein popped onto her forehead, indicating her frustration and offense from his language.

Just as she was about to chew out the chibi, Snails burped up a small clump of brown clay, slick with stomach fluids. "Ew!" all the fillies and colts screeched. Except for Mono, instead he just went back to his figurine.

Defeated and exasperated, Cheerilee led Snails to the bathroom, where he continued to cough up clumps of clay in earnest.

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"Told you he'd do anything for a bit," Scootaloo snickered. Mono grinned as well while Sweetie Belle and Applebloom cringed. "Anything at all."

"Mono, are you almost done?" Sweetie Belle propped her hooves on the table.

"Al… most… finished… with… the… face… o…kay…?" His rapid relocation caused a strange static within his voice. He ground to a halt behind the three fillies, grinning widely at their startled jumps. "…and done."

The quartet gazed up at Mono's creation, the ponies in awe and Mono with a smug smirk. "Voila. I present to you, my creation. The fuckin' jet-set of the entire class."

All of the fillies and colts gathered about the huge clay sculpture.

"I call it…"

Mono paused for a full ten seconds.

"The Shit."

The figure was of a massive turd with the Ponyville 'PV' etched into it. A smile on its face made the statue much creepier, as well as the fact that the town of Ponyville lay below it. It was literally a giant piece of victorious shit. Mono beamed widely at the clay figure, his obnoxious attitude nearly filling the room with an aura of disgust.

The bottom of the statue read: Contrary to Popular Belief, I Don't Give a Shit.

Cheerilee drooped her head. "Faust save me…"

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Cheerilee brought the Cutie Mark Crusaders outside. "Girls. We need to talk."

The three fillies dipped their heads apologetically and folded their ears, drawing themselves into a meek position at their teacher's scolding tone.

"Mono is out of control. With all of this terrible behavior, I'll have to expel him sooner rather than later. For Celestia's sake, he managed to erase Diamond Tiara's Cutie Mark just by telling her a single truth!" She gave a pause while the three looked up at her. "I didn't even think that was possible!"

As Cheerilee took a deep, calming breath, the fillies began to state their case.

"But, Miss Cheerilee, you've gotta see 'im move! He's the fastest darned thing I ever seen!" Applebloom pleaded. Scootaloo snorted.

"Not faster than Rainbow Dash…"

"But Mono's runnin', Scootaloo! Runnin'. Rainbow Dash can't run that fast. Not even if she tried!" Applebloom faced her teacher once again. "Miss Cheerilee, we need him!"

Cheerilee heaved a massive sigh. "Girls, I can't. I simply can't have him tainting the minds and morals of fillies and colts such as yourselves, no matter how good he is at any of the sports."

"Miss Cheerilee, I want to make a deal."

Everypony's heads spun to Sweetie Belle.

"Or a bet, more like."

Author's Note:

Nothin' to say, really. Except that a spin-off may come in the future.
Yay.

ARC II THEME

Comments

[FlyingKitsune]

The quartet gazed up at Mono's creation, the ponies in awe and Mono with a smug smirk. "Voila. I present to you, my creation. The fuckin' jet-set of the entire class."

All of the fillies and colts gathered about the huge clay sculpture.

"I call it…"

Mono paused for a full ten seconds.

"The Shit."

More! More! This is getting awesome by the minute.

[D-Bence35]

"I call it…"

Mono paused for a full ten seconds.

"The Shit."

Makes me nostalgic all of a sudden. Except that back then I made a huge COCK 'N' BALLZ...